“I saw no wrath [in God} except on man’s part,
and that He forgives in us”
(Julian of Norwich reading 99)
When I was meditating on the above quote from the book “Revelations of Divine Love” it brought to mind one of my greatest struggles as a man who wishes to grow in my openness to the Spirit of the Lord. When I am hurt, or the times when I wish things would go my way, or when someone does a great evil towards others, my first instinct is to seek to bestow wrath on them, or for justice. It comes from as Julian goes on to say:
“Wrath: a departure from and an opposition to peace and love”.
When I feel anger and a desire to set things right, more often than not it is not based on either love or seeking after true justice but on my desire to control and manipulate others out of fear and anxiety. So when I make a judgment that is fed by anger, it seldom if ever comes from a place that seeks healing and love of others. So yes, wrath resides in me. It is a fearful thing when I project that onto God.
Again Julian goes on:
“It comes from a failure of power, or of wisdom, or of goodness”
My ability to see into others is shallow at best, and wrong most of the time, perhaps all of the time because I only see the surface. God sees everything, which is why God is merciful and I have to struggle with it.
“Mercy works protecting us, and mercy works transforming
everything into good for us”
Human wrath seldom knows mercy but seeks to punish and hurt and to even destroy. So yes I struggle every day with seeking to allow God’s mercy and grace to transform my heart into His heart. If I try to set things right without seeking to follow the Lord's lead, there will only be ruin and destruction.
It is when I fail that I am spurred on to continue the journey into the ‘Mind of Christ”, into “The Heart of Christ”. If not, when I fail, I will justify my actions and over time become more angry and unmerciful towards others.—Br.MD