Forgiveness, deeper in
One day a young man talked about his hatred,
his desire for revenge against his parents,
who were cruel, abusive, and ignored him.
How do I deal with this, it is a torture he asked me.
So as we talked I shared my own struggles,
how over many years I still deal with emotional eruptions,
coming deep within my soul, seeking to be seen
and not to be pushed under the waves.
When I sit in my room and am praying,
or doing Lectio, or just reading for relaxation,
is when these inner geysers show themselves,
in living color, vivid, and yes painful.
Over the years I have learned perspective is important,
they are in reality nothing to worry about
but need to be seen for what they are.
They are the sacrifice we put into the Heart of Christ,
a call to humility, to self-knowledge, and yes compassion
for our brothers and sisters the world over
dealing with this very all too human issue.
I place them before God, asking me to forgive, again,
all those who have wounded me, especially those
I have forgotten, yet still festering from the deeply buried event.
So I pray for my unknown enemies, asking God to bless them,
Just that, no more, and placing all into the love of God,
which over the years has brought me healing,
yet the thorn is still there doing its work,
drawing me deeper into healing
at the pace that I can go,
no faster nor slower than needed.
In this I trust, all of my struggles lead to God,
when I place them into his loving, golden, flaming, Heart.—Br.MD