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Is this normal? Do I have unresolved Trauma?

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spartan max2

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I randomly started crying when I got out of the shower today.

I was thinking about my past: childhood, teenager, young adult. And I just started crying. It wasn't a loud wail or breakdown just some tears starting to flow.

This doesn't happen often (at least I don't describe it as often). Maybe once, twice, or three times a year. I never though much about it being odd until now. Now I am like, wait does this happen to everyone? Is this normal?

I have Asperges. Got diagnosed young. Was in special education classes until middle school. There's alot of feelings around that I think.

The weird part is I don't feel sad. Like I would say I'm pretty content right now. But in these rare moments when I'm thinking about my past and start crying I never see it coming. I never realize I'm about to cry. And I almost even feel disassociated from the tears when I am crying. Like I'm not sad right now why am I crying ?

The ironic thing is I'm licensed to give therapy to people. If a client described randomly crying when thinking about their youth I would probably say they have some trauma there. But with myself I can't do it. I didn't even think there might be anything odd about it until now.

A theory I read before claimed that the brain can represses trauma for years until it feels safe enough to deal with it. As in, people can randomly start feeling the trauma a couple decades later once they are in a safe and stable environment, both emotional and physical. Then there brain is like okay, you're ready to deal with this now.

So yeah I cried today when I got out of the shower. And I'm just now starting to realize that that's maybe not normal.

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There are situations in my past that bother me, but weren't traumatic that bring strong emotions to the surface.  Sometimes it is the helpless feeling of being in a situation I had no control over. 

PTSD can affect people in different ways, too.  I get flashes back of situations in my past and get emotional.  We don't always remember or associate specific situations with our present mental health, but, sometimes they are more connected than we think.

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Happens to me all the time. Obsessing about past incidents and mistakes and heartaches is an all familiar trap I too easily fall into at the tender age of 65. With not so much life seemingly left to look forward to, I find myself all too frequently looking back. I just have keep reminding myself what's done is done and can never be changed or made right again. I try to keep mentally facing forward, for the tomorrows I have left I can influence, mold and change. That, at least, is how it is for me. You're a different person and may not see it exactly as I do.

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I don't think it is abnormal, it is something that happens, your body is releasing tension or something.  Maybe you have repressed some trauma, but if the emotion you feel does not match what is going on physically, then maybe your body just needed to cleanse.  Tears release stuff that you don't need to hang on to.  I read somewhere that if you have a lot of sinus issues, you are probably holding back too many tears.  I don't know if that is true or even relevant, but everyone is different.

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Spartan Max2, have you ever been in therapy yourself before?  And if so, did you talk with a therapist about any past traumatic experiences you may have gone through?  Or did you mostly talk about other things with the therapist instead?

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50 minutes ago, MainerMikeBrown said:

Spartan Max2, have you ever been in therapy yourself before?  And if so, did you talk with a therapist about any past traumatic experiences you may have gone through?  Or did you mostly talk about other things with the therapist instead?

No i have never gone to therapy myself. Considered it before but never got around to it. 

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It's probably normal.  It is for me anyway.  I suffered terrible abuse at the hands of my parents.  My mother was a cruel, evil, and violent person.  My dad was abusive in other ways, out of ignorance.  He thought he was making me "tough."   I also have an older sister who would trick me into saying or doing something stupid that would result in me getting a beating or injured in some other way.  Now, as a 66 YO former Marine, I still tear up often over things that happened decades ago.  I've been through years of therapy that just seemed to make things worse, although it seems to do wonders for others.  Hang in there, you're not alone. 

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47 minutes ago, Cattarhero said:

It's probably normal.  It is for me anyway.  I suffered terrible abuse at the hands of my parents.  My mother was a cruel, evil, and violent person.  My dad was abusive in other ways, out of ignorance.  He thought he was making me "tough."   I also have an older sister who would trick me into saying or doing something stupid that would result in me getting a beating or injured in some other way.  Now, as a 66 YO former Marine, I still tear up often over things that happened decades ago.  I've been through years of therapy that just seemed to make things worse, although it seems to do wonders for others.  Hang in there, you're not alone. 

There is only one therapy (psychology style) that actually helps and it is called cognitive behavioral therapy.  The rest are useless until you finally realize that you are the one that has to figure out what changes you need to make.

For trauma I would recommend Rapid Eye Movement Therapy.  There are aps for it nowadays so you don't have to pay someone for 6 sessions (if you do and they tell you that you need more than 6 sessions walk away).  The thing that the RMT does for trauma is that it removes the emotional charge that keeps you re-living the trauma every time you think of it.  You don't forget it, but you no longer feel like it just happened even though it has been 40 years.

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28 minutes ago, Desertrat56 said:

There is only one therapy (psychology style) that actually helps and it is called cognitive behavioral therapy.  The rest are useless until you finally realize that you are the one that has to figure out what changes you need to make.

For trauma I would recommend Rapid Eye Movement Therapy.  There are aps for it nowadays so you don't have to pay someone for 6 sessions (if you do and they tell you that you need more than 6 sessions walk away).  The thing that the RMT does for trauma is that it removes the emotional charge that keeps you re-living the trauma every time you think of it.  You don't forget it, but you no longer feel like it just happened even though it has been 40 years.

When they have done research before they have found that treatment method accounts for only 1% of outcome differences, the rest were all due to Common Factors. 

"Common Factors Research" 

Quote

A review of common factors research in 2008 suggested that 30% to 70% of the variance in therapy outcome was due to common factors.[37] A summary of research in 2014 suggested that 11.5% of variance in therapy outcome was due to the common factor of goal consensus/collaboration, 9% was due to empathy, 7.5% was due to therapeutic alliance, 6.3% was due to positive regard/affirmation, 5.7% was due to congruence/genuineness, and 5% was due to therapist factors. In contrast, treatment method accounted for roughly 1% of outcome variance.[35]

I think there are issues with this research and i would definitely put treatment method at higher then 1 percent but the point is that I don't think its accurate to say one method is right or wrong because alot of times it just comes down to your connection with your therapist.  

And for the bolded part I would argue that that is sort of the goal of therapy lol. You can't magically fix people what you do is help them to do it. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_factors_theory#:~:text=Common factors theory%2C a theory,effectiveness of a psychological treatment.

Rapid eye movement therapy wasn't included in the common factors research though since it is a newer thing but it has had a lot of promise for PTSD. 

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Desertrat56

Posted (edited)

10 hours ago, spartan max2 said:

When they have done research before they have found that treatment method accounts for only 1% of outcome differences, the rest were all due to Common Factors. 

"Common Factors Research" 

I think there are issues with this research and i would definitely put treatment method at higher then 1 percent but the point is that I don't think its accurate to say one method is right or wrong because alot of times it just comes down to your connection with your therapist.  

And for the bolded part I would argue that that is sort of the goal of therapy lol. You can't magically fix people what you do is help them to do it. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_factors_theory#:~:text=Common factors theory%2C a theory,effectiveness of a psychological treatment.

Rapid eye movement therapy wasn't included in the common factors research though since it is a newer thing but it has had a lot of promise for PTSD. 

Right but how many therapists do you know (or people going to the same therapist) that make a plan at the beginning that there will only be 6 sessions and after those 6 sessions most people find they actually have been helped.  Regular therapy the plan is keep them coming back as long as possible.  I know people who have been in therapy for years and very little has changed.   There is a reason insurance companies will only pay for a specified number of therapy sessions.

Cognitive therapy works, I have seen no evidence that any of the others do work and I suspect the 1% may be fairly accurate, though I agree that the variables make it hard to actually come up with accurate percentages.

Edited by Desertrat56

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