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Is this normal? Do I have unresolved Trauma?

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spartan max2

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I randomly started crying when I got out of the shower today.

I was thinking about my past: childhood, teenager, young adult. And I just started crying. It wasn't a loud wail or breakdown just some tears starting to flow.

This doesn't happen often (at least I don't describe it as often). Maybe once, twice, or three times a year. I never though much about it being odd until now. Now I am like, wait does this happen to everyone? Is this normal?

I have Asperges. Got diagnosed young. Was in special education classes until middle school. There's alot of feelings around that I think.

The weird part is I don't feel sad. Like I would say I'm pretty content right now. But in these rare moments when I'm thinking about my past and start crying I never see it coming. I never realize I'm about to cry. And I almost even feel disassociated from the tears when I am crying. Like I'm not sad right now why am I crying ?

The ironic thing is I'm licensed to give therapy to people. If a client described randomly crying when thinking about their youth I would probably say they have some trauma there. But with myself I can't do it. I didn't even think there might be anything odd about it until now.

A theory I read before claimed that the brain can represses trauma for years until it feels safe enough to deal with it. As in, people can randomly start feeling the trauma a couple decades later once they are in a safe and stable environment, both emotional and physical. Then there brain is like okay, you're ready to deal with this now.

So yeah I cried today when I got out of the shower. And I'm just now starting to realize that that's maybe not normal.

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There are situations in my past that bother me, but weren't traumatic that bring strong emotions to the surface.  Sometimes it is the helpless feeling of being in a situation I had no control over. 

PTSD can affect people in different ways, too.  I get flashes back of situations in my past and get emotional.  We don't always remember or associate specific situations with our present mental health, but, sometimes they are more connected than we think.

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Happens to me all the time. Obsessing about past incidents and mistakes and heartaches is an all familiar trap I too easily fall into at the tender age of 65. With not so much life seemingly left to look forward to, I find myself all too frequently looking back. I just have keep reminding myself what's done is done and can never be changed or made right again. I try to keep mentally facing forward, for the tomorrows I have left I can influence, mold and change. That, at least, is how it is for me. You're a different person and may not see it exactly as I do.

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I don't think it is abnormal, it is something that happens, your body is releasing tension or something.  Maybe you have repressed some trauma, but if the emotion you feel does not match what is going on physically, then maybe your body just needed to cleanse.  Tears release stuff that you don't need to hang on to.  I read somewhere that if you have a lot of sinus issues, you are probably holding back too many tears.  I don't know if that is true or even relevant, but everyone is different.

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Spartan Max2, have you ever been in therapy yourself before?  And if so, did you talk with a therapist about any past traumatic experiences you may have gone through?  Or did you mostly talk about other things with the therapist instead?

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50 minutes ago, MainerMikeBrown said:

Spartan Max2, have you ever been in therapy yourself before?  And if so, did you talk with a therapist about any past traumatic experiences you may have gone through?  Or did you mostly talk about other things with the therapist instead?

No i have never gone to therapy myself. Considered it before but never got around to it. 

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