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Ordinary Adventures Blog

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Senior cognition troubles?


simplybill

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Ever since I retired last August, my brain seems to be operating in neutral. Today I committed two very serious faux pas’ while grocery shopping. 

I went to the local market to stock up on steaks and pork chops at their awesome meat counter. The two employees were very friendly, and wished me a nice day as I left. I noticed that their black masks matched their black aprons. Very sharp, very professional.

Then I approached the deli counter in hopes of scoring two pounds of their delicious homemade Deviled Egg Salad. I mean, I can make a meal of that Deviled Egg Salad and a few crackers. It’s that good. 

Alas, they’re remodeling the deli counter, and have a very limited menu for a while. But a friendly deli worker walked out from behind the counter to talk face-to-face and reassure me that my beloved Deviled Egg Salad would soon be back on the menu. I noticed she was wearing a dark red face mask.

Suddenly, the alarm sirens inside my head began blaring: I had left my face mask outside in my pickup!!! 

Have you ever had that dream where you’re at school and you’re wearing your pajamas? That’s exactly how I felt. I covered my mouth with my hand, and apologized profusely (well, maybe not profusely, but I did kinda make an apology).

As I walked outside to my pickup, I started thinking, “I wonder why they didn’t put my stuff in a grocery bag?” Well duh. In my shameful retreat from the store, I had forgotten to pay for my steaks and chops!!! I got very worried that a store detective would dash out of the store and tackle me to the ground or something. I grabbed my mask out of my pickup and hurried back into the store to pay for my stuff. 

Whew...close call. Maybe I need to ratchet up my caffeine consumption.

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