In my own life, I have found that I am the problem
“Don’t you come to Me with more confidence than to any friend on earth?
Aren’t you at home in My heart?
It should be that way too, since for each soul
I am the unique, the incomparable one.
Bossis, Gabrielle. He and I (Kindle Locations 1344-1346).
Pauline Books and Media. Kindle Edition.
My sister Judy and I will often have a conversation, whether or not the Christian faith is a religion. She says no, I say yes. However, she does have a point. Religion can be simply an empty gourd, a strong exterior, but hollow inside. Prayer and ritual can become just an empty show, even if the prayers are beautiful, and the ritual profound in its implications. The Eucharist comes to mind. If the heart is not there, not much, if anything, is gleaned from the experience.
It takes mindfulness, presence to what one is doing to make one’s faith, and yes, religion an integral part of one’s life. For if it is true that in “God we live and move and have our being":, then our relationship with ultimate reality is of utmost importance.
God’s love as shown in the Christian Scriptures can be a scandal to many. To say that God is love is not always an easy concept to embrace. Many live in the world with lives that have little true love in them. Many think love is just an emotion, and when that emotion dies out the love is over. It can lead to a frustrating search all of one’s life for something that cannot exist. Emotions come and go, they can even dry up when one is ill. Does that mean that love dies? No, but the love must come from a deeper place.
Jesus shows us how this works. He gave his last drop of blood to show his love for us. Endured betrayal, abandonment, injustice, torture, imprisonment, and finally a slow horrible death. Yet he forgave all in the end. I am sure that was not something that resembles the infatuation that many think is true love. No matter how strong one’s attraction is towards someone, if it cannot mature beyond the ‘honeymoon' stage, it is only a mist that will evaporate when reality sits in. Love is about the long haul, not about a week or longer of intense emotions that can’t last.
Christianity is about having a deep, personal, trusting relationship with the revelation of the Father’s love in Jesus Christ. We are called to look to the Infinite, revealed as love, and to walk forwards not letting our own faults, sins, and deep self-destructive aspects, get in the way.
There are many voices in our unconscious that talk to us all the time. Some whisper, some scream, each wanting to protect us from reality. They are our wounds fearful of facing life more freely. We are called to die to self, to let the voices speak, but to understand that there is one voice we need to listen to, which can be deeper than any whisperings. That voice says “Come to me all who are overburdened and I will give rest”. Also, Jesus says “Do not fear. Fear is useless what is needed is trust’.
In my own life, I have found that I am the problem. When I look only at myself all I see is broken promises, wounds, and a fear of being in the Infinite Light. It takes the choice to have trust, to have confidence in God’s love, to be able to open up ones inner chaos, failures, and yes even self-hatred to Jesus Christ. He already sees it, we just need to make that truth our reality. Then we fear nothing that is within for we have given it over. We turn over our souls, our whole being into the arms of our faithful Creator. We call God “Abba’, let us live out of that truth. In that, we learn that our deepest longings are fulfilled only by this.-Br.MD