Loved or Cursed
Most of us are discombobulated by the notion of fate. Some declare they don’t believe in it. That is, until something extraordinary happens – good or bad. We like to believe that we are manifest destiny, but what do we mean when we say something was fated to be? We were at the right place at the right time, and it did seem as though we weren’t in control of that timing or placement.
“I was on my way out when something happened to stop me.”
“A traffic accident made me late.”
“I was supposed to be on that plane, train, bus, etc.”
“I wasn’t planning on going to that party, wedding, reunion, etc.”
The notion thrills us when the results are joyful but infuriates us when the outcome is misery. Loved or cursed. “Why do all these terrible things keep happening to me?”, we wail. Something is not right in the universe when we choose to be a good person (with considerable sacrifice according to our estimations) and never seem to get a break. Ill fate can make us feel pathetic and victimized. And unloved. Aha! Therein lies the rub. UNLOVED. By whom? Who doesn’t love us when our fate constantly points to bad luck?
How Do We Know Fate has been Meddling?
Aside from good luck or bad, what makes us think something was fated to happen? Is it because there was such a small window of timing for it to take place? Did we dream the event beforehand? Or is it perhaps because it feels like no matter what we do, the outcome is habitually positive or negative?
If everything in our lives is fated to be why make any effort at all? There is nothing more astonishing than learning that someone won a lottery six times. What did s/he do to warrant such a fate? Notice the deserving part of this narrative? Deserving plays an important role in our relationship to fate. Conversely hearing about someone who has suffered one calamity after another can raise our righteous hackles with, “How COULD this person be singled out to be the VICTIM of all this calamity?” Hence notions of reincarnation leap to the fore as a means to explain this bald lack of justice in the world. S/he must have been a nasty piece of work in a past life. That’s a conversation for another day.
Timing is Everything
The question that lurks in the background of discussions about fate is, “Who authors our fate?” A deity, ourselves, others’ will/want or some other machination that is comprised of many factors and influences? For example, if it is my fate to meet you, then we shared a thread of matching fates which led us to this point of joining. Fate therefore is comprised of many threads and if any of those single threads were to shift, our joined fate would be upended.
We’ve all met someone special and felt thwarted when the timing proves to be off. One is on our way out of town, just gotten married, or on our death bed. Of course, that was our fate! But that won’t stop us from shrieking, “Why NOW of all times?” Positioning at the right place at the right time is key. Can that be arranged? The Power of Positive Thinking Gurus would have you think so. The truth is; however, terrible things do happen to the saints and angels among us. And glorious good fortune does grace narcissists and devils.
Fate drives us to reach more deeply into our emotional core where fear and desire fight a bloody war.
A Lesson in Control
Perhaps the deepest lesson of fate is its teaching in control. We don’t have control over everything. There are times in our lives when we need that reminder. When fate steps in to throw us a curve ball, an opportunity to examine our lives from a whole new perspective. Fate’s true purpose may be to nudge us to asking questions, such as,
“Is what I think I want, really what I want?”
“Am I getting what I asked for?”
“What have I been missing that is more about what I need, than what I want?”
“Does it make any difference what I do?”
When Lady Fortuna sticks her hand in our destiny wheel, it’s a lesson about adapting to change, acceptance, resilience and being in flow. Those who survive Her disruptions are those who are good dancing, feinting, pivoting and bouncing back.
Is there a way to know your fate ahead of time? I like to think there is. Knowing your fate beforehand is all a part of your fated future. Those clients who work with me are fated to hear what the reading reveals, good and bad. They are fated to be warned, prepared and flexible.
Kathleen Meadows, M.A. is a Tarot reader in Canada and online. You can read more of her articles at https://www.psychicanada.com and she also has a youtube channel where she describes various readings she did for clients around the world.