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Grace is always at work (Monastic Memory 2)


markdohle

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Grace is always at work
(Monastic Memory II)
 
A big challenge for me is to accept the fact that a great deal of my inner life can seem to be like I am just treading water, keeping my
head above the inner chaos. Yet I know that is not true, at least from an experiential level. Grace as the saying goes, ‘does work in secret’.
When life is lived seeking God, the truth, and wanting to live from that space, then it is grace that in the end creates us. If we choose not to do that,
then we create ourselves apart from that inner grace, and the outcome can be a true disaster. However, I do not judge anyone, and that means
I don’t even judge myself. Judgment from any human is to be feared, but not judgment from God. In God Judgment and mercy are one.


I am also finding out that the inner struggle can become more difficult as we age. Yet, because of the years of seeking to live out the Christian vocation,
it is likewise not so controlling. I have learned over the years that Jesus never leaves, never gives up, and he always brings back the i
nner light to keep me from despair or giving up. A monk as Thomas Merton told me in a dream,
“Clings to God even when he is in despair”. That is a lesson, and a dream that has kept me here I believe.
So yes, grace is always at work.-Br.MD

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