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Bendy's Thoughts

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My idea behind Mindfulness and Awareness


Bendy Demon

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I was recently reading out of my 'pocket' book Thich Nhat Hanh and went over the passages about mindfulness and I realized that many people still do not understand what it actually means

Most people, I think, assume that mindfulness is all about thinking plain, mundane thoughts and eliminating all 'negative' thoughts so that eventually all you have running through your head is simpering 'my little pony' type thoughts where everything is candy canes and cupcakes. Heh-heh...

No..this is not what it is about. Far from it. In fact it is not about eliminating 'negative' thoughts because there is no such thing. Not really. A thought only becomes 'negative' when it begins to dominate and consume your psyche and you choose to act on those thoughts which have become 'dark'.

You can, perhaps think, "Geez, I hope he gets a canker sore (or something" and then we brush it off and go on with our lives but when those thought become redundant and consuming to the point that all you can think of is vindictive actions against someone and -in some cases- start to go out of your way to cause harm in some form or another then that is when those thoughts become 'negative'.

But that in itself is not what this is about. Not entirely.

At any rate, many people, it seems, equate mindfulness with a religion like Buddhism or some such belief system and even in those systems they skewer bit a bit.

Once you strip away the mysticism and religious connotations away, mindfulness and awareness is a lot more down-to-earth and has more to do with, well....your attitude.

Yes, I know that many will roll their eyes at this but...hear me out.

Ok..I will try my best to explain. Let's take something small like, say, laundry. Ok..not the most exiting but try asking yourself why you're doing it. You will answer something like "So I will have clean clothes" or "I'm running out of socks an undies" or something similar. Ok. Good. Let's start with that.

You're doing the laundry so you'll have clean socks. What more of a reason do you need at this point?

The next time when you're sorting the clothes and you find yourself beginning to think "Man, what a pain" or "This is so domestic/boring, when can I get back to the internet?" then try to keep in mind why. Because you need clean socks. Period.

How about another task like..I dunno..making dinner. Many will sneer/frown/groan and begin sighing as they open a can of veggies or whatever all the while wondering when it will be over.

Again you need to ask yourself just why you are doing this. Of course your family is hungry and need a nice meal so they will be satisfied and healthy. Is that not enough of a reason? Is that alone not a worthy enough goal?

Or..feeding your pet. How many of you grumble while you hastily dump a handful of dry food in the cat or dogs bowl then walk off, inwardly complaining about how it is a bother? Again, why do you do it? Because your pet, who looks up to you, needs nourishment and I suspect that is often the only interaction they will have with you all day long.

But there is something deeper behind that and that is your attitude towards your actions and others.

Have you ever considered that your attitude while you fix dinner for your family affects them and the food? If you grumble, swear and complain while cooking then just toss the food in front of them do you ever stop to think that it affects them? That they begin to think they are bothering you somehow? That somehow they are doing something wrong just by needing you to cook for them?

How about your pet? Do you ever think for one moment telling the pet that they are being a pest or a pain as you slop some canned food or drop dry food in their bowl is going to affect them? Perhaps not the words so much as your very attitude.

Hmm..there's that word again. Attitude. It rubs off on others.

But both attitude and mindfulness kinda go hand-in-hand.

Because if you are cogniscent of your mindset and attitude then you begin to learn to harbor a better one and as time goes by you won't even need to fake or pretend that you have a better mindset because it becomes more..umm..automatic? To be sure it is not easy and you have to work at it all the time and there will be times you think it is a waste of time but it is important to keep this in mind because your attitude permeates everything you do.

There has been this growing philosophy that people have flippantly adopted whereas they say and think "I am gonna do/think/say whatever I want and whenever I want and I don't care what you or anyone thinks, says or feels!!!" and I dare say that this attitude oozes out and others will pick up on it and respond accordingly and not really in a nice way. Trust me, that flippant mindset does not go unnoticed.

People may act courteous enough but in private they may balk at having another encounter and may even begin to resent you.

Anywhoo I digress.

The concept of mindfulness and awareness is not about a religion but rather a mindset that over time will encompass every aspect of your life.

This is not to insinuate that that you have to don a simpering grin while you're cleaning the toilet or scooping out the litterbox but instead of grumbling, complaining and contemplating kicking your pet to the curb because you feel 'inconvenienced' keep in mind why you are doing it and how it helps you and others including your pets.

I had to work on this myself and so instead of feeling overwhelmed or allowing myself to continually think that a task was burdensome or a bother I learned to take each task, each aspect of it as a separate little step.

For example when I clean the bathroom I start with the mirror. Sure, I sometimes thing "Good grief, what a mess!" but then I get my spray bottle and cleaning rag and set to work and I had to work on what I was thinking too. Instead of continually allowing myself to wallow in complaining about how careless I felt my father was being when he shaved or brushed his teeth I just started cleaning and then I would think something like "Oops, there's a spot I missed" or "Hmm..better go over that area again" then before I know it, I am done and not only that but I have a squeaky clean mirror!

The toilet it the same way, instead of groaning about a 'disgusting' job I do my task methodically.

I clean the lid, handle and the back of the toilet the go onto the seat and the rim and if I find myself starting to grumble then I remind myself why I am doing this and even take -dare I use the word- 'pride' that I made the facility clean and sanitary.

Now, I know full well that many of you, especially younger ones, are going to shake your head and think I am being some fluff-bunny yahoo and wondering how anyone can be nonchalant about household chores and you know what? I used to think in a similar fashion too.

I did not understand the concept of mindfulness and awareness because everyone who presented it wrapped it up in a manner that made no sense and even seemed to convey that the end goal was to eliminate thinking, feelings and just think happy-slappy thoughts but once you wash away the dross you realize that it is not about eliminating 'negative' thoughts or singing while cleaning the cow barn but rather keeping in mind just WHY you are doing it. That it is not all about you but more about those it helps be it human, animal or plant.

I know I ramble but I hope I made a little bit of sense.

 

 

 

Edited by Bendy Demon

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Bendy, interesting blog.
 

Add to: Mindfulness is (not to be mislead with the idea that mindfulness is easy)) the acceptance of what is and navigating from there. 
 

Using your example of cleaning a mirror (an offer of two cents) this is the practice of being present in the moment with whatever arises it would be labeled mindful meditation. One isn’t trying to control anything, but to allow things to arise, then pass for example, if one is disgusted emotionally and mentally with the task at hand one would allow the feelings and thoughts to arise and then let them pass, there are many anchors to accomplish this, one isn’t seeking to change anything, but to accept and let go. The point is to cultivate compassion the more one does this with themselves it will begin to reflect in their own lives and behaviors.

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