Grief
Most days I feel I have my grief about losing my husband under control. I can talk of him without getting sad and it makes me feel better to say his name out loud. However, yesterday and today were fresh reminders of the void he left. I went through mental health training for work yesterday. I was doing well until we had to watch a video about a widower and his son, dealing with their grief. The actor who portrayed the widower was very good, his pain was palpable. Out of nowhere, I felt that all too familiar stab of pain and had to go to the bathroom to not start crying in front of everyone.
Today the nurse who is taking care of my mom's dialysis remembered my husband as she is one of the nurses in the dialysis unit at the hospital. She told me how wonderful he was and so upbeat. She loved having him there. Another stab of pain, this time I broke down in the locker room at the gym in front of my best friend. I couldn't help it. It really is true, you never "get over" losing someone close to your heart, you simply learn to live with it and move on. Maybe in time I will not break down so much, but losing the love of my life is one of the hardest if not the hardest thing I have ever had to endure. I sincerely hope if you have loved ones you let them know every day you love them because tomorrow is not promised to any of us.
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