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Tarot By Kathleen

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October 24 Decision Fatigue


tarotbykathleen

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Decision Fatigue

Decision fatigue is becoming a serious problem for most people. For some, making upwards of twenty impactful decisions every half hour, means they have maxed out their mental ability to decide. That’s one of the reasons my practice is so busy!  People need support, perspective and a sharing of the burden to make vital life decisions when they are just exhausted by decision-demand.  People are making decisions not only for themselves but their loved ones too.

Deciding this or that usurps mental energy.  Deciding wisely demands focus and balance.  On the one side of the scale, you may have a paralyzing fear of making the wrong decision and paying unforeseeable consequences for it.  For the rest of your life.

Equally pressing on the other side of the scale is a push to choose NOW, which may be real or imagined.  Some work situations may demand that you decide promptly, and this may be true particularly if others are involved in the process.  If you must make a lot of decisions in quick succession, it will negatively impact on other areas in your life where you also need to make decisions or share a decision with a partner. Or even worse an ex-partner.

High Powered Deciders

Having to make rapid-fire decisions may force you to start picking your decision battles such as, what to wear, eat, be entertained by, etc.  People with heavy decision jobs favour a uniform of sorts, tend to eat the same thing every day and generally have a tight, repeatable daily pattern.

I’ve spoken with clients who complain about spouses/lovers who never seem to have any opinions or preferences about how they should spend their time together.  They complain about always being the ones who must pick something to do because if they don’t, as a couple, they will end up sitting in front of the TV, night after night. If you find yourself in this boat, likely you are loving someone who is suffering decision fatigue in other parts of their lives and they need help getting it sorted out.

I took a workshop years ago facilitated by a dominatrix sex worker who described her typical client as a high-powered executive/professional who felt a desperate need to be dominated by someone who was good at taking charge.  For a specific, previously contracted amount of time, she made all the decisions and effectively, safely, meted out predictable punishments.  Her client base was substantial and the demand for her services was perennially far greater than she could possibly fulfill.

She was a busy, phenomenally successful businesswoman.  Her clients needed some time when they could just be like a child; no decisions, responsibilities or power. Rarely did their sessions include sex.

How Have I Helped Others to Make Decisions They Can Live With?

Decisions are a major element in my work with clients.  Most people who consult with me are stuck betwixt and between opposing options. They must decide whether to remain in their committed relationship or continue working at their current job. They may need help deciding how to approach a stressful familial issue, or illness, or whether they should sell their house or invest in a business.  My frozen clients are afraid of making a choice they will regret, or they wonder if they might have missed a third option.  They need to know what the outcome is likely to be depending on the choice they make and how their loved ones are likely to react to their chosen course of action.

Making Decisions Alone is Lonely

Consultations with me nudge you sit and ponder, free from distraction.  They afford you an opportunity to talk things through with someone who is not in your life.  You are driven to go offline for a while and focus on where you’re at, where you want to be, what you’re hoping for your future self and where you’re likely heading.  Most clients will say I’ve just validated what they had already surmised.  It was nice however, to have that validation.

Making decisions can be lonely because we fear talking to anyone who knows us.  We know loved ones will likely and understandably have an axe to grind.  We may also feel despondent at the notion of sharing our decision angst with someone who may be inclined to tell us what we want to hear because that’s just a waste of time and energy.

We need to have the plain, honest thoughts from someone who is uninvested in our ultimate choice.

As we slip into the autumn season, we’ll all be making more than an average number of decisions.  Do what you can to keep the decision demon at bay. Pick the ones you must make and let go of the ones that are not as critical. Prioritize, consult and be mindful that you don’t get overwhelmed and fatigued.  Save your energy for the big things that demand your full attention.  And no matter what, don’t take on someone else’s decision load!  That’s their garden to weed and hoe.  Delegate decisions to others. Don’t assume your decision will be the only right one and don’t be mean when their decision didn’t have the jolly outcome you had expected.  There is a trick to keeping decision-making under control.

Happy Fall Equinox.

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