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Falco's Forum Romanum

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Ask Falco: The Next Generation


Falco Rex

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Well here we go again..

It worked before, so let's reheat some leftovers and crack a beer for the inevitable return of the exact same bull I shoveled to you before..

Familiarity is very comfortable, right?

Do you have a question that's bugged you your entire life? Do you need answers and need them yesterday or possibly even sooner? Do you need a firm hand to guide your destiny? Or do just really wish you could remember who won the 1965 World Series?(The Dodgers, dummy)...Well Falco is here to take on all comers..Take that statement however you want to..

But feel free to ask me anything about everything..

The answer may not be what you wanted; but I promise you one thing...

It will be an answer; and phrased in my unique and endearing grammatical style...

Do you feel lucky; poster? :ph34r:

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Something I came up with as a child and has always stuck with me...

"If the universe goes on forever, what is inside of it? But if the universe ends, what is outside of it?"

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You came up with that as a child? I was always more interested in the consistency of mud....but, then again, I was a strange child.... :ph34r:

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Bears are so cuddly and wholesome. Why are they so angry and try to maul us all the time? I just want a hug, Mr. Polar Bear, no need to kill me...

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How come they had to stop the good shows... Seinfeld, Sex in the City, Friends. I mean they only have reruns now. :cry:

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Wow..Lot's of questions here..Let's deal with the first and most complicated for now..

Something I came up with as a child and has always stuck with me...

"If the universe goes on forever, what is inside of it? But if the universe ends, what is outside of it?"

If you follow the popularily held Big Bang theory, the Universe couldn't possibly go on forever, as it would reach a point where the force of the initial blast was spent. Then the cooling process that would lead to a gradual re-absorption would begin..

Many of that viewpoint hold that outside that lies Void, or endless nothing..This is perhaps an even harder concept to grasp than infinity for us..Our world is filled with things, and the idea of an endless blank spot devoid of even light(or possibly even dark) boggles our minds ability to grasp it..

But this is a possibilty. So is the idea that we may abut another universe, or dimensions merge at the point where our universe ends; there's no practical way for us to ever say for sure with the knowledge we have now..

It's also possible that the universe is infinite, and spreads out forever; or that it curves back upon itself in a never-ending Moebius strip..

There's no right answer that we can give right now, only possibilities..

I think that the smartest answer to give that question would be this..

Our Universe is endless, perceptionwise and for all intents and purposes..Although there may well be an end no amount of philosophising or deep thought will ever solve that mystery at this point and time...

Ummm..Don't worry, be happy..

Damn, that was long..I'll return to answer some more of these questions shortly..

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Okay..On to questions 2 and 3...

When are you going to man-up and cease ignoring my PM's, Falco?

To save time and effort, which are both things I hate to waste, I'll answer you here..

Despite repeated attempts on my part, I've been unable to get anybody to stop being mad at you; and even those who aren't are very reserved..I'm afraid the ship has sailed on this issue, my young friend..You'd do best to just give up on it, I think..

Bears are so cuddly and wholesome. Why are they so angry and try to maul us all the time? I just want a hug, Mr. Polar Bear, no need to kill me...

It's a little known fact that prior to 1645 all bears were just as lovable as they look like they should be..Unfortunately, in that year the phrase "Does a Bear **** in the woods?" was coined and became very popular..

Trust me, bears are fully aware that they have to do this, and they also know that they have no toilet paper and even if they did, they have no hands to use it with..

Most bears end up with a severe case of piles and hemerrhoids the size of baseballs..

Hearing people making fun of that was the last straw for them, and from that day onward, every bear in the world has wanted to kill we humans..

Oh yeah, and they're not too happy about being hunted either..

There was hope of peace between our peoples once, but then the evil Hanna-Barbera company came up with the character Yogi Bear..

If you've ever watched any of those plotless, pointless, badly animated shorts you can easily see why they'd be even more offended than they were before..

Pic-A-nic Basket indeed...

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Ummm..Don't worry, be happy..

Damn, that was long..I'll return to answer some more of these questions shortly..

:P Helluva an answer though.

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