The Um bible... revisited.
Entry posted by Subtemperate
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This deserves to be re-bumped.
Chapter 1 - Generic.
1 In the beginning Saruman created the website and the forums.
2 Now UM was [a] formless and empty, blankness was over the surface, and the coding of Saruman was hovering over the
internet.
3 And Saruman said, "Let there be daz," and there was Daz.
4 Saruman saw that the unsolved was good, and he separated the unsolved from the solved.
5 Saruman called the unsolved "mysteries," and the solved he called "not mysteries." And there was believers, and there was
skeptics, on the first day.
6 And Saruman said, "Let there be an place between the forums to separate nonsensical talk from discussion."
7 So Saruman made the nonsensical area and separated the nonsense from the discussion above it. And it was so.
8 Saruman called the nonsense area "general off topic." And there was nonsense, and useless facts on the second day.
9 And Saruman said, "Let the people be gathered to one place, and let there messages appear." And it was so.
10 Saruman called the messagers "members," and the gathered messages he called "posts." And Saruman saw that it was good.
11 Then Saruman said, "Let the forums produce ghost discussion: people who have seen and the discussion of spooky phenomena,
according to the various kinds." And it was so.
12 The forums produced ghost discussion: discussion between people from various views about spooky phenomena. And Saruman saw
that it was good.
13 And there were more members, and there was much post whoring on the third day.
14 And Saruman said, "Let there be lights in the expanse of the sky to be discussed as UFO's, and let them serve as
discussion about the possibility of life not on earth." And it was so.
16 Saruman made two further sections— the conspiracies area to discuss conspiracy theroy and the cryptozoology section, to
discussmany myths and legends. He also made the alternative history section.
17 Saruman made rules in the expanse of the website to give rules on behavior, 18 to govern discussions and the apects to
separate posters from flamers. And God saw that it was good.
19 And there were more members, and even more post whoring on the fourth day.
20 And Saruman said, "Let the forums flow with science discoveries, and let world affairs be discussed within our boundaries."
21 So saruman created the Space, Science and technology forum and a forum for the discussion of world events, according to
their kinds. And Saruman saw that it was good.
22 Saruman opened them and said, "Be careful and increase the number of topics discussed and fill topics with discussion, and I shall ban those who flame too much."
23 And there was evening, and Saruman caught a movie....
24 After he returned Saruman said, "Let each poster produce posts according to their point of view, so that things can be learned and knowledge gained." And it was so.
25 Saruman saw the posters post according to their point of view, in which a lot of discussion took place and knowledge was gained. And Saruman saw that it was good.
26 Then Saruman said, "Let me make posters in my image, in my likeness, and let them rule over the over all the posters, and over all the topics within the forums."
27 So Saruman created mods in his own image, in the image of saruman he created mods... (yes thats the sae thing twice) Male and female he created them.
28 Saruman blessed them and said to them, "Be vigilent, as many a troll does enter here; Fill these forums with only posters who wish to have proper discussion. Rule over them and set by example the conduct in which they need to follow."
29 Then Saruman said, "I give you every moderation devices, in that you may warn those who get out of hand,30 in which you can delete posts that do not belong... and a button which does ban people and is much fun." And it was so.
30. Saruman saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was pudding, and casserole for dinner.
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