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Kismit's Blog

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I do still get angry

Kismit

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My Husband should be getting out of Hospital Tomorow. It's been 11 weeks since the accident, so it will be nice to have him home. He will be full time in the wheelchair for a few months and then he will hopefully move on to using the walker around the house and the chair only for long distances, like around the block.

I have to remember some people do it full time (wheelchairs) and that atleast one day my Man should walk again. Even though one leg is now 3cm longer than the other.

I know the lady who hit us was just, well it was just an accident. But when you are laying in bed at 3 in the morning and you hurt and you can't sleep, you can't help thinking that you shouldn't have to feel like that.

We had a meeting with the lady. She said she couldn't remember why she lost control of her car. She said she had bruises where I have breaks. She cried like a freakin alley cat in the ambulance and yet I had a punctured lung and ended up in the cardio thorasic ward. And Jamie? Where do I start? Lower left leg shattered, right femur broken, two vertebrae, pelvis, sacrum, right arm and let's just say when it gets to that point the Doctors only worry about the major breaks. It isn't fair.

I hope that one day the anger goes away, I hope I can forgive her. I don't like not being able to forgive her and I know we were lucky. But I can't help thinking, what if?

The worst 30 seconds of my life were when my youngest was quiet after the car stopped moving. He didn't answer me, he didn't make a sound.

I am still angry.



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Waspie_Dwarf

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On 2/15/2018 at 0:20 PM, Kismit said:

I just read through my blogs. And in all honesty, I do still get angry.

The mind takes so much longer to heal than the body. Maybe rage at an injustice never heals.

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On 2/17/2018 at 7:28 AM, Waspie_Dwarf said:

The mind takes so much longer to heal than the body. Maybe rage at an injustice never heals.

It doesn't. It just mellows and you can't let it rule you. I learned to shut it out like my loss. Once you start thinking about it the pain and anger come screaming back.  That's not good for your mind or your body.  

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