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    By Paul Dale Roberts, HPI’s Esoteric Detective 
    Halo Paranormal Investigations – HPI International. 

    Date for the Investigation: July 21, 2018, Saturday / Time to be there: 1400 Hours or 2pm. Address to be at: Oakdale, CA - Contact Person: Alicia Collier/Karon McDonald. Possible activity: Alicia's brother recently died (suicide?) and they think he may be at their home. They are asking anyone on the team that has psychic abilities, if they are picking up on Alicia's brother. If a psychic on the team picks up on something, it's up to the investigators to prove that there is actually something there.

    He Killed Himself Over Donald Trump:

    More Investigative Videos:

    Paul Dale Roberts - Co-Owner; Deanna Jaxine Stinson-Co-Owner/Psychic; Xandean Smith - Host of Paranormal Soul Brother Podcast.

    Deanna woke up at 5:30 a.m. and heard the sound of beads moving.  Special Note: We have hanging beads that are attached to the bathroom ceiling. Deanna also saw the figure of man standing over the bed and she instantly thought it was me.  Deanna feels there was an entity standing over the bed and she does not know if the entity watching over her had some kind of connection to the investigation today.

    To See Pictures From the Investigation, stop by my Facebook Timeline:

    There may be a curse at this residence in Oakdale.  Every man whoever lived in this home, has died under strange circumstances.  There is a lot of Native American Indian energy on the land and this home is very close to the very haunted Knight's Landing.  Alicia's brother - Karon's son died in this home.   It was death by suicide.  The suicide note that 27 year old Mikey left explained his personal reasons for the suicide and he also made it clear that President Trump did not care about poor people or people with disabilities.  Mikey was autistic.  The family has been plagued by the paranormal, such as a large box flying off the shelf, a face appeared on the TV, the smell of a lady's putrid perfume (perhaps Shanell #5) resonated through the home; the front door opened on its own; a purse hits the floor on its own accord; people have been touched, people also have been pinched. When Deanna did her walk through, she detected strong energy in one bedroom, that moved down the hall into another bedroom.  Come to find out, Karon tells us that the one bedroom is Mikey's bedroom and he would constantly walk from his bedroom to the bedroom down the hall, which was his mother's bedroom.  The family has heard stomping sounds (sounds of loud walking) on this hallway.

    Mikey died at the age of 27 and on the digital recorder at recording #27, Mikey says "hi".  Our first EVP for this day.  Alicia felt it could be the voice of Mikey.  We sat in a circle and allowed Mikey to draw our energy, so he can speak to us.  We were unsuccessful in obtaining any EVPs in the bedrooms.  The last place we went to was the bathroom where Mikey committed suicide.  The bathroom proved to be Ground Zero for paranormal activity.  When we asked Mikey if he wanted to talk to us, if he wanted to give us a sign, he said "no" twice.  Mikey did not want to be bothered by our presence.  Because of that, we stopped our investigation.  We felt satisfied that Mikey was still with the family.  Alicia and the rest of the family felt Mikey would say "no" to us.  Deanna proceeded to conduct her metaphysical cleansing.  The family is moving out of this home and they are comfortable in knowing that Mikey is still with them.

    Karon McDonald is a former HPI Paranormal Investigator and she called HPI in a time of need.  This investigation was sad, very sad.  A young man lost his life and this family is devastated by his actions.  I pray that this family heals and prospers.  Afterwards, Deanna treated Xandean and myself to a nice Mexican dinner at Cocina Michoacana.  The food was delicious and this dinner period of time allowed us to stabilize and discuss what we experienced at this home in Oakdale.

    Pending Case #2J098P709U671 - Location: Woodbridge, Ca.  Raquel Rodriguez - former HPI Paranormal Investigator calls me and explains that poltergeist activity is happening in a home in Woodbridge.  I contacted Carol and then contacted Bernadette about the activity.  Bernadette's husband recently passed away, now they see shadows in the home, bedroom covers are ripped off Bernadette while she is sleeping, objects in the home are being moved around, a jello substance was found in a box of cereal, voices are heard.   Bernadette's daughter who has never been baptized is being targeted by the entity.  Talking to Bernadette, she has a priest that is coming over on Wednesday to bless the home and she is getting her daughter baptized.  Bernadette says that if the house blessing and baptism does not work, she will be calling HPI.  Code: 2B095K705434209P68838R71

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    A Reflection On Mark 9:2-9: “Vertigo & The Mystical Experience”


    Every now and then, over the course of our lives, we get to experience what can best be described as a mystical experience. A mystical experience is a moment in time where it seems as if the veil between heaven and earth is blurred, and we’re drawn into a profound experience of the divine and the sacred. It’s an entirely subjective experience…we can’t prove them…we can’t authenticate them….but if you’ve ever had one you just know that they’re real and that they’re from God. We never forget those rare moments when we have them. And sometimes they can shape the course of our whole lives. These mystical experiences are our spiritual mountain tops. It’s the summit of the religious life. I’ve been blessed to have such experiences myself.

    In fact, I such an experience just a couple years ago. It happened because I decided to go on, what was for me….a pilgrimage. You know, a pilgrimage is where you go on a special religious journey as an act of devotion…usually to a shrine, a sacred place, or a retreat. I was in Louisville Kentucky for a conference…and there was one place…that I just had to go to while I was down there. I’d been wanting to go to this place for so many years there was literally an aching in my heart to do it. And so I finally did. I drove for about an hour outside of Louisville. I came to a part in my drive where I was just surrounded by what seemed like an endless forest on both sides of the road. It was early spring and all the trees were in bloom. It was so beautiful and majestic. By that point my heart was pounding. I was almost there…this place I’d been dreaming of. I came around a bend….and there it was….this massive, sprawling white building that looked like a fortress. It was overwhelming. There were tears in my eyes as the great Abbey of Gethsemane came in to view. The fact that I was going to a monastery alone was really exciting for me. But that wasn’t what made it a pilgrimage. What made it a pilgrimage was the fact that the Abbey of Gethsemane was the home of my spiritual hero…a man whose writings have had a profound impact on my life, my spiritual journey, my walk with God….and even my vocation as a Pastor. 

    His name was Thomas Merton and he lived there as a Trappist Monk for 27 years until his death in 1968. 

    That day ended up being one of the most incredible days of my life. I spent the afternoon talking with a monk, Brother Paul, who had actually studied under Merton, and he took me on a tour of the monastery…and he even took me to Thomas Merton’s hermitage where he lived out the final years of his life. That was unreal. The hermitage is off limits to the public…but I was allowed to go back there because I was a seminarian.

     I sat in the hermitage of my hero with this wonderful monk and we appropriately talked about the writings of the mystics and the contemplatives. Then, after my meeting with him….I just spent some time walking the grounds in meditation and prayer. For me, that was a mountain top experience that's what we're really looking at here. Mountain top experiences. This mountain top experience with Jesus on what came to be known as the Transfiguration…and our own experiences. What do they mean for us? We’re going to consider the relationship between the experience of God’s reality and the response to God’s reality. Experience and response. 

    Now when I mention the Transfiguration, you might think I’m talking about a new Transformers movie….you really don’t hear the word “Transfiguration” all that often. It marks the halfway point in three of the four Gospels…and it’s where we see that Jesus was “more than meets the eye.”  Peter, James, and John witnessed a transformation that was bigger even than Optimus Prime. They had a mystical, mountain top experience….greater than any in human history.But to begin to understand this story as something real and tangible we have to consider the scope of the whole Bible here…and then we start to see that this is a pattern that God uses all throughout the Scriptures. There’s quite a few stories of mystical encounters with God…but one that’s immediately relevant to our text today is Moses. Now a lot of you probably already know this story. 

    He’s on the top of Mount Sinai and suddenly this swirling cloud appears and it surrounds the entire mountain. God speaks to him from the cloud and God gives him the moral laws known as the Ten Commandments. And then something strange happens. He asks to see the glory of God…and God tells Him “no.” He says no one can see His face and live…so He says I’ll show you my back side. So the cloud passes and Moses is only able to catch this tiny glimpse of God. But it was a profound experience of the reality of God.

    Another person that this happened to was the Prophet Elijah. Elijah had stood up to all the corruption and idol worship and he was literally run out of town. So he’d about given up. He was totally miserable and he goes and hides in a cave in the mountains. He spends the night there. And in the deep darkness and isolation of that place God comes to him. Once again He passes by in the form of a cloud. Then God shows Elijah all these incredible things….winds that tore the rocks apart, earthquakes and fire. It was a profound experience of the reality of God.

    And these experiences don’t end with the Gospels. It happens to Paul. 

    Paul’s out on a mission to wipe out some pesky Christians when suddenly this brilliant white light appears that knocks him off his horse and strikes him blind. It’s another profound experience of the reality of God. Like I said, it’s a common thread throughout the Scriptures.

    All these stories have another thing in common too. They happen in challenging or crossroads moments in the life of the believer. Think about that. Moses was down and out. Elijah was depressed and had given up on his calling. Saul of Tarsus was badly misinformed about the Christians. 

    And now as we move to our Gospel lesson for the day…we find out that was the case with Peter, James, and John too. They were experiencing confusion and turmoil. Peter had just named Jesus as the Messiah….but then Jesus starts talking about how He’s going to suffer and die. In other words, He’s not the Messiah they were expecting. So they have no clue what’s going on. Here they’d been following Jesus all this time as He’s going from town to town preaching, healing, casting out demons…and then this. They might’ve felt like they didn’t even know Him anymore. Crossroads.

    In all these examples...God stepped in with His mountain top experiences in some of the most difficult moments of their lives. That should be a lesson for us. If you’re ever wondering why it seems like you don’t hear from God or why you’re not having these power encounters with God…maybe it’s because you’re not supposed to be. Maybe it’s because you don’t need it right now. Saint John of the Cross is widely considered one of the greatest Christian mystics in the history of the church. In his book “The Dark Night of the Soul,” he talks about how the mystical experience should never be an end unto itself. 

    He argues that if we were to keep having these mountain top moments over and over again we’d become obsessed with them….they’d be like a drug. It’s all we would want. We’d lose our grip on reality….and the things God is calling us to do. So that’s why you don’t have these voices from the clouds moments all that often. They only come with a purpose. They only come when we need them. More on that in a bit.

    Jesus’ inner circle….they needed that mountain top experience. They were breaking ranks. They were grumbling and they were confused. So Jesus literally takes them up the mountain....the 1800 foot high Mount Tabor near Nazareth. And there at the summit, Jesus changes right before their eyes. The Greek word that’s used here is “metamorphosis” or “changes form.” So like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly…Jesus is transfigured. His face was glistening like the sun. His robes are a brilliant white. Moses and Elijah appeared….one embodying the Law and the other embodying the prophets…and they surround Jesus…Jesus who is the completion and the fulfillment of these things. 

    Then a cloud appears; a cloud like the one that appeared to Moses and Elijah….but this time….they don’t see just the “back side” of God…they see God in the fullness of glory…in Jesus Christ…and they live because this moment…the Transfiguration is a sign of the age to come…of the fullness of the Kingdom. Out of the cloud a voice speaks and says “this is my Son whom I dearly love. Listen to Him!” Then, just as quickly as it came…it ended. Only Jesus is there with His awestruck disciples.

    But this wild and incredible story leaves us with a question….why do we have these experiences? It brings me back to my earlier point. Our mystical experiences have a purpose and they only come when we need them. God takes us to the spiritual mountain top to give us vision and to see the possibilities in life. When we’re at the crossroads and those turning points, He gives us the mystical encounters so that we can see past the haze of our doubts, the fog of our uncertainty, and the trees of our obstacles. God’s given you a purpose in life and sometimes He has to take you up higher than you’ve ever been so you can see that purpose more clearly. This is the degree I should be pursing in school. This is how I should be a better husband. This is how I should raise my kids. God wants me to be a teacher, a plumber, or an engineer. This is the path I take to get there.

    As I walked up and down the beautiful grounds of the Abbey of Gethsemane, just praying and meditating, I felt closer to God than I had in years. When I attended Mass and listened to the monks chanting Vespers my soul was just….alive. And when I placed my hand on my hero Thomas Merton’s grave and said a prayer I felt this profound sense of completion. But as I drove home that night, I realized that that experience was so much more than just a visit to where my hero lived. 

    No, it was a mountain top experience because God had given me exactly what I needed. Peace. I was in my second year of seminary and I was stressed and burnt out. I felt like I was always working, always running. There was no peace. Here I was studying to be a pastor and God felt like He was a million miles away. He was like some kind of abstraction because I was just so busy all the time. But there’s a gate that leads to the monastery grounds and on that gate are the carved words “God Alone.” I spent that day alone with God and it brought me back to life. 

    It reminded me to renew my contemplative practice…to spend time in prayer and meditation with God. It gave me the strength and the inspiration to keep pressing on. And that’s the point of the mystical experience. We have profound experiences of God’s reality to give us insight, strength, inspiration, and encouragement for the journey. To remind us that God loves us.

    But just like this story of the Transfiguration…these things only last for a moment. We blink and they’re gone. And what happens when they’ve gone? Well, suddenly we experience vertigo. We suddenly realize that we’re on a great height and our hearts begin to flutter, we start to lose our balance and we feel like we need to get down. 

    I love lighthouses. And I’ve climbed a lot of lighthouses in my day….in places like Maine and Florida. I always make the long and grueling climb because I want to see the view from the top. It’s always so amazing. You have these incredible views of the ocean and the surrounding city or countryside. It takes your breath away. But with me it’s pretty funny. I look around…I take it all in….but then reality kicks in. I remember that….I’m scared of heights. 

    My heart starts to flutter a bit and my legs get a wobbly….and it’s time to go back down! If you have a profound experience of God at any point in your life, you can bet that God’s going to give you vertigo afterwards. It’s like Saint John of the Cross said….we can’t stay on the top of the mountain forever. We have to come down. But why? Why do we have to come back down? Why is it just these fleeting glimpses?

    Saint Teresa of Avila, another great mystic of the Christian church gives us the answer. She says you can only tell the legitimacy of a mountain top experience by the fruit that it bears. Did you get that? You can only tell the legitimacy of a mountain top experience by the fruit that it bears. We know the reality of our experience of God by our response to it….by what it causes us to do.

    Let’s go back to those examples. When Moses comes down from the mountain everything’s gone to hell and a hand basket. The Israelites have built a golden calf. The guy he left in charge was right there worshiping the idol. Moses. You’ve got a job to do. Get down from this mountain and get my people back in line. Use this Law that I gave you to bring the Israelites to the Promise Land. Elijah just wanted to sulk in that cave. But God shows him all these incredible things and then He says to him “Elijah, you’ve got a job to do.” Go anoint these new kings. Speak to my people. After Paul gets knocked from his horse and blinded, God tells Him to get up and go into the city to go to the House of Ananias. And shortly after that, God’s going to tell Him to spread His name before the Gentiles and kings and the children of Israel.

    In the case of Peter, James, and John….they come down with Jesus to an absolute mess…calling to mind what happened to Moses. Some of the disciples were bitterly squabbling with some experts in the Jewish Law. Another group of disciples had badly botched healing a boy, and so Jesus ends up doing it Himself. Then Jesus puts His hands on His hips, shakes His head in frustration and says, “You faithless generation, how long will I be with you? How long will I put up with you?” And what He means is…it’s you that’s supposed to be doing this work. Jesus was trying to train the disciples and work Himself out of a job. 

    Here’s the deal. If you have an experience like this, it’s because God wants you to do something. He has something for you that only you can do. God gives us these moments where we experience His reality so that we can respond to Him in service. He’s going to convict you that He’s really there…and then He’s going to tell you to get down from the mountain and get to work. Christianity’s not meant to be a spectator sport. If we’re just sitting up in the bleachers eating popcorn, we’re not doing it right.

    See the thing is, I think a lot of us want to respond like Peter when we have a mountain top experience. It scares the heck out of us….especially if God is telling us to get out of the stands and to do something. And so we want to build shrines. We want to put our experiences of God in a box...into something we can understand, something that makes us feel comfortable and safe. But that just isn’t how God works. We come down the mountain into the messes of the real world and real life. You have this deep experience with God….but your job still stinks, you’re still fighting with your spouse at home, you’re stressed out and there’s no break in sight. 

    But God wants you to bring that mountain top experience into the messes of your lives. He wants you to do something with it. He wants you to start praying for your nasty boss. He wants you to apologize to your wife or your husband. He wants you to bring the Kingdom into the ordinariness of life. We can tell people about our mountain top experiences till we’re blue in the face, but no one will believe it. No, we have to show them. We have to bring the mystical into the mundane. 

    You know, Thomas Merton thought that by leaving the worldly life, by becoming a monk and entering the monastery he was running to the mountain. He thought it was there that he would have these profound, life-altering encounters with God. But it didn’t happen. In quite a few of his journal entries you actually sense this deep spiritual restlessness. So you know where he finally had his mountain top experience? It was on a busy street corner in Louisville Kentucky.

    On March 12, 1958 Thomas Merton was out running errands for the monastery when God brought him to the top of the mountain. He writes, “In Louisville, at the corner of Fourth and Walnut, in the center of the shopping district, I was suddenly overwhelmed with the realization that I loved all those people, that they were mine and I theirs, that we could not be alien to one another even though we were total strangers. It was like waking from a dream of separateness…” He’d gone to the monastery to escape from the world and God brought him to the top of the mountain to turn his heart back towards the world. 

    And so Thomas Merton responded to this experience with action…by heeding God’s call to love the world and all people. He became a powerful voice for peace during the Vietnam War, for civil rights and the interfaith movement. It’s my prayer that God will lead each and every one of you to the mountain top, if He hasn’t already. I pray that He’ll give you that perfectly clear line of sight above all the messes and all the noises in your lives…but then I pray that He’ll give you that overwhelming sense of vertigo…to bring you right back down the mountain…so that we can cause a metamorphosis….in the world around us. Amen.



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    After the many times I've went to Church today was the day I've decided to give my life to Jesus Christ. 

    Once me and my sister finished chanting the holy spirit made its presense known to us. My sister was in tears while I was just in shock where I could feel heat radicating from my chest.

    It honestly was a good feeling and something I would remember. Now Im going to be busy studying the bible. All im just hoping for is a positive change to remove the demon from within. 


  4. Cantu said he has to look into whether the tears were a hoax, but, he said, “even if it were (a hoax), we are not sure how it would be done, physically. Because it is hardened bronze. We’ve examined the interior, and there’s nothing on the interior.”


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    What we long for, we also fear

    I live in the Sacrament of My love as I live in heaven, in a ceaseless state of intercession for all who believe in Me and come to Me with the weight of life’s burdens and sorrows. There is nothing that I will not do for the soul who approaches Me with confidence.

    A Benedictine Monk. In Sinu Jesu: When Heart Speaks to Heart--
    The Journal of a Priest at Prayer (Kindle Locations 3959-3961). Angelico Press. Kindle Edition.

    In a truly loving relationship, be it in marriage, or between friends, it is enriched when one is open and honest about his or her life’s journey, struggles, hopes, and failures.  In doing so, the receiver is encouraged to respond also in trust and intimacy.  This cannot be done unless vulnerability and what that means is embraced.  Relationships cannot grow if this depth of openness is lacking.  There are many levels in relationships.  People can have a deep affection for another, but still not have a friendship of any real depth. Which is also something good in itself.  Close acquaintances can also draw us outside of ourselves, and teach us to love, and trust, even if it is not as deep as it is with friendship.   Real friendship is rare, and is probably one of the greatest gifts in this life.  Yet it is not always easy to make that step. 

    Christ Jesus, is open, and honest, with mankind, in his desire to bring us to the Father, and to have a loving, trusting, relationship, with us.  He tells us not to fear.  Yet when reading the New Testament, this reality is often forgotten, overlooked, or downplayed because it is very difficult to understand such a love….even though I believe it is the deepest longing of the human heart. 

    Sin is an act of self-destruction, of becoming isolated, trapped, chained, and locked away in a self-imposed prison.  This can be seen in the more obvious forms of addiction.  It is ‘sin’ because it is an attempt to escape from life, but what one gets is only deeper pain and suffering.  Hatred and contempt of others is often an attempt to not see the ‘enemies’ humanity, for when we actually see those around us as truly human, with deep interiors lives, many find it hard to actually box them in.  Jesus could love all, because he saw deeply into others, and because of his deep empathy, probably suffered greatly for that…..yet he did seek to escape the reality of the hidden interiority of all that he met. 

    We are also sinned against.  We can be chained by the wounds that we received from our parents, siblings, and friends, and yes enemies, that makes it very hard to believe in any kind of mercy, kindness, in our fellow human beings, or in fact that trust is even possible……sin brings forth bitter fruit.

    Fear protects us, but we outgrow the need of fear, but often do not know it.  The deep desire to be loved, is also the desire to be ‘seen’ in our totality, and loved, because the One who gazes on our soul knows and understands everything. There is no prerequisite to explain, but there is a need to have an open heart.  Sometimes we can’t explain the ‘whys’ in our life, but we can expose our hearts in a trust, and let the light in so as to see everything.  It is there already, the illumination, but unless we trust, we can be blind to that reality.

    Humans understand punishment, judgment, rage, and rejection, all too well.  So when we think of God, we want something we understand. So God becomes like us, just bigger, meaner, crueler, and unforgiving.  Better to worship Zeus in a rage (this we can understand) than a God of Love, which is way beyond our comprehension.  For love can’t be controlled, it is like a raging river seeking entrance into our hearts, seeking to wash away all that impedes that love. 

    If only many Christians would stop being so violently judgmental, something we are told not to do, perhaps then our faith would not be so hated and reviled.  Jesus calls us all to conversion, to turn away from a life that only leads to eternal isolation from all that we truly long for.  When we judge in a way that Jesus told us not to, it only pushes people further away.

    I am grateful that God’s grace is always at work, and so even though we may fail in many ways, we still pray for all.  In saying the Our Father, slowly, with attention, we can come to the realization that we are in fact praying for everyone, not just those whom we think are like us, or believe like us, but truly everyone.  In that, many deep wounds are healed, for mercy goes both ways.  In forgiving, we are forgiven.  In showing compassion, we also experience compassion flowing back to us.—Br.MD 


  6. Just noticed it has been over two months, now, closer to three, really, since I unexpectedly experienced an awakening of Kundalini. It seems a good time to post an update about it and some of what I have learned over the past time of living with it.

    I knew nothing about this until it happened, but, was no stranger to sensing things or seeing things or working with energy. Years ago I got all my Reiki Mastery attunements just to see what that was all about, was a Pentecostal Christian for some years and raised on the Holy Ghost. The occasional people who claim this is all nonsense and not real have no weight with me. There are a lot of real things out here that others need to deny and create their own negative bias to support for their own reasons, That has nothing to do with me or my life. I do not lie nor am I delusional, thanks.

    This has been an interesting phase though for the research I have come across about it. Since my last post on kundalini, I have run into one guy who assures me it is demonic and requires deliverance and adherence to a more pure form of Christianity. I find this sad, because I am sadly familiar with demonic activity and that never has anything to do with love, self discipline, or breaking of addictions such as drugs or pornography. Quite to the contrary when a demon is very much present in a life or attempting to subjugate a person's will. However, I have come to a better understanding of what it means to have free will and less concern when I run into people who are exercising their own. That person would not engage in discussion with me, in fact almost seemed unwilling to admit this was his position to me even though I asked him directly and his ideas were plain in something he had written. It was as if he did not expect someone who was experiencing "K" to ask him. Maybe he feared a fight about it, but, I don't care to bother with that. No need for it. I was interested in why he believed this after allegedly being an instructor of it for some years and presumably being competent in it at one time.

    I will say this, it is like anything else. If you have a phenomenon, you will always have a fake turn up, and one or the other always gets the "demonic" branding. People delude themselves, or want something and so fake it, or else do what they think is really happening and then debunk their own fallacious "experience". 

    I have been lucky. I have read an easy dozen reports about real issues some are having with K in their lives. I have read a neurologist claiming it is a mental health crisis in need of drugs to bring to a halt immediately. There have been a few posts about the "nofap" movement which seems to underlie K progression. As usual, there are those who work diligently all the time to make progress deeper into it, and a percentage who want to stop it entirely on the forum my primary mentor works to help people publicly. Some are extreme in dietary considerations, others are like me, just moving on with life the same as before, with occasional experiences of K arising and demanding more attention for a while more than always being at the back of my mind, 24/7.

    Like my mentor, who is that because I have chosen him as my example, not that he has accepted me as a student, I feel a clear need to be out here, where I actually do not want to be, willing to talk about it and being available as a source of information for this experience. It is like the rest of the paranormal and religious explorations I have done over my lifetime, I cannot just indulge my own curiosity but do need to tell a few of the stories. 

    It does not pay to fan the flames of a supposed paranormal experience and blow it all out of proportion. Experience has shown me that ignoring it and letting it force itself into my awareness and reveal what it actually is about gets me a more accurate assessment of what is truly going on. If it cannot do this, it is not significant enough to warrant me wasting time trying to sort it out. I took this approach with K as well, sort of went to ground after it happened, did not do anything to try to fire it up stronger, researched around, checked with my own known inner sources, took it as it came.

    None of the psychotic episodes some describe came close to happening. I have not experienced any of the kriyas which seem very common (autonomous movements of the body apart from being the willed motions of the experiencer, often repetitious). That the energy can communicate clearly is true. Sometimes in bursts of insight, sometimes literal words. Different from Reiki, where you muster the energy and direct it, K has its own will and comes and flows as it wants to. Unlike Reiki, which seems to exist more as a gift for others to help and heal, K is basically all about you, changing you, opening your eyes to your own actions and your own place and significance in All Things. That is not anonymous, though, it points to a divine aspect of All Things. It illuminates an end point reality of being One with All and yet Unique, divinely unique at the same time. This is admittedly a challenging reality to grasp, but, I have seen it, glimpses, and have a vague understanding of where it all goes to. 

    At this (extremely early) point, I have to conclude a few things about my experience. It does not pay to be one of those who try to force it to wake up and come into your life. Those seem to be the ones with all the major problems, drama and issues. Not knowing these folks personally, maybe that is how they deal with most things. I have always been more pragmatic and dogged about things. I always meditated a few times a day for short periods and still do. It came on its own. If it really is of God then it can deal with me where it found me. I have done nothing to try to inspire it to greater heights. I have not started yoga (pullease), changed my diet nor cut the wife off. I never had a porn addiction so that has not been something I have to wrestle with now to break. My main addiction was cigarettes and I quit those five years ago but it is not gone. My Dad's death last Winter had me instantly craving a smoke as if I had never quit at all. I had to actually go back on the gum and still chew it now and then trying to re-quit (though I did NOT light up. The pain, though, is real). 

    Speaking more as a form of clergy (Vodou) with decades of experience (and not as a K rising person of great experience - which I am NOT), I think some of this extremism is inherent to East meets West and enthusiasm in people wanting to respond to a tremendous experience which seems to be like the very touch of God and divine Love. It is life changing, even for me who already has known that the Love of God is real, transforming and forever. For people who have never known that or perhaps even believed there was Someone Out There who loves them, this is the most important thing in life and they react accordingly. It is self validating, nobody can convince you it is not happening, it is not real and it is not there and alive, if you really have it going on. It got my attention, for all I have ever experienced over my life.

    The way I see it, ok, K is here for me, now. So are some other facts of life for me and we will work on it as a team. I am all about God and loving Him back, but, I also have obligations. I am not going to diss the wife, I am not going vegan for anyone, I already do not eat a great deal of meat just because my tastes have changed over time but rules suck. I am not going to call it being a vegetarian. I will go to a steak house with anyone given the chance, and feel no remorse over it. Kundalini is not a religion and I am wary about accepting "rules" which have some of that odor to them, not simply good advice which helps one along the way.

    So, what has changed? In my inner world, I am always accompanied with Other now. I am not alone. I knew this before but now, it is quite clear to me. I am beginning to grasp that Other is not really Other the way I thought before, but the word is useful to explain things, still. I see way more clearly than I ever did that free will controls almost everything out here in this experiential reality we share. Yours, mine, his, hers. As a result, you can say I care less about what others think, and you would be right. I deal with dissension a different way these days if I have to deal with it at all. People CHOOSE how they want to think and experience the world, so let them do that. The adults among them will allow you to do the same, the children are the ones who will try to insult and sneer and attack you for not being like them much like a flock of chickens will peck at the one without feathers until they kill it to force conformity. It leaves them with conformity, but not superiority.

    There are bigger issues, larger fish to fry as it were, than worrying about opinions. I don't run with the flock, haven't for some time, and I finally see this and what a good deal it turns out to be. Kundalini has opened my eyes to this more clearly than I ever saw it before.

  7. rashore
    Latest Entry

    You breathe the air of your sweat, light and shallow.. the liquid air around you without breath to give you respite. The sun above does little more than remind you that your flesh can cook in the steam just like that nice batch of veggies you dressed with a cool cucumber dressing last night.

    Then you hit the shade while the hot wind does whip up-blowing the debris of seasonal blossoms gone to seed and dust from the streets... and it's a cool blessing. You are happy that the sweat pops up to be blown off.. and take a moment to drink deep of that iced beverage.. swat a sweat fly or two. Too hot for skeeters to be bugging, even their spawn is dying in the water tanks, much to the dismay of the birds that like to eat and drink while perched on the ledges.

    The high light of summer is already past us, and has been for a couple weeks. We are now on the hot steel slide into the dark.

  8. 5b3cf1bf1ed72_towerpeak.jpg.d421b7a8f11fad08b4a1814311311c8f.jpg

    ...from the American zen poet Gary Snyder:

    At Tower Peak

    Every tan rolling meadow will turn into housing
    Freeways are clogged all day
    Academies packed with scholars writing papers
    City people lean and dark
    This land most real
    As its western-tending golden slopes
    And bird-entangled central valley swamps
    Sea-lion, urchin coasts
    Southerly salmon-probes
    Into the aromatic almost-Mexican hills
    Along a range of granite peaks
    The names forgotten,
    An eastward running river that ends out in desert
    The chipping ground-squirrels in the tumbled blocks
    The gloss of glacier ghost on slab
    Where we wake refreshed from ten hours sleep
    After a long day's walking
    Packing burdens to the snow
    Wake to the same old world of no names,
    No things, new as ever, rock and water,
    Cool dawn birdcalls, high jet contrails.
    A day or two or million, breathing
    A few steps back from what goes down
    In the current realm.
    A kind of ice age, spreading, filling valleys
    Shaving soils, paving fields, you can walk in it
    Live in it, drive through it then
    It melts away
    For whatever sprouts
    After the age of
    Frozen hearts. Flesh-carved rock
    And gusts on the summit,
    Smoke from forest fires is white,
    The haze above the distant valley like a dusk.
    It's just one world, this spine of rock and streams
    And snow, and the wash of gravels, silts
    Sands, bunchgrasses, saltbrush, bee-fields,
    Twenty million human people, downstream, here below.


  9. Russian World News RWN

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    Recent Entries

    Short post. My Photo. The Arseniev Museum in Vladivostok. Second floor. Hall of Archeology. On the left under the glass are the medieval bronze mirrors. The Jurchen Empire. The Primorye Territory of our Far Eastern region is very rich in these historical relics.



  10. Tales from the Mist

    Goddess of the Mist
    Latest Entry



    She is cursed to always crave

    master to the slave

    bloodstone to the master

    cradle to the grave


    He guards his wicked treasure

    twilight to the dawn

    with a selfishness so absolute

    sharing with no one


    A drop or two won’t satiate




    It leaves her empty, unfulfilled

    left to wonder moonlit fields

    barren plains of a love gone wrong

    a mere shadow of feelings, once so strong

    desiring attention of a certain kind

    left to search but never find


    A price to pay – a guide to take her there

    to his warmth

    his wild lair


    The path is tangled, craggy and steep;

    the mountains are high and the rivers deep

    Frigid winds carry snow that blinds her eyes

    still, she senses reward, fortune, her prize


    It is with a relief so pure, so humble, so sweet

    when he is awakened from his sleep

    and then he gives her what she craves:

    Bloodstone to the master

    cradle to the grave


    You fill my cup…

    forever your slave




    poem © Goddess of the Mist 









  11. What are these mysterious flying bright beacons from time to time ? Incredibly advanced extraterrestrial life technologies, powered by powerful engines, camouflage devices, with the ability to change dramatically flying trajectory ? Maybe time to time somebody are doing "flash mob" with chinese lanterns in the sky ? You can choose from these two options, if you like... or make your own presumption. 

    Robert Taylor of Blairgowrie with drawing of UFO he confronted in 1979

    And what about the people which testifies seeing bright lights in the sky and have been invited to fly with extraterrials ? After all, it is unlikely that the chinese lantern will decide to kidnap any innocent pensioner who "unexpectedly" finds himself in the woods and will fly to another planet. However, such reports are spread around the world. People are being harvested, explored, introduced with advanced alien technology.

    Thousands of such events really mean something. It is impossible to explain all of these cases solely by the lack of attention of the abductees and the carefully drawn lies. Moreover, the details of the stories of people living in different parts of the world coincide, at times, completely unrelated (maybe). Nonetheless, more skeptical people may find it hard to accept the explanation that these stories were actually selected by the aliens to become familiar with the human strain. Is it really the Universe, of course, having achieved such incredible technological progress, such an interesting old woman from a glorious Russian village, or an ordinary grandfather from the USA farm ? For those who question the aliens, but believing that not all people - liars and deceivers - worthy of getting to know another explanation. These are the tricks of the human brain, which make you sincerely believe that you have been abducted by extraterrestrial life.

    People who believe that they have been examined by an alien are not necessarily mental patients. The psychological tests revealed that the kidnapped not often suffer from psychosis or have other serious psychiatric disorders. It may simply be people with an unusually high level of fantasy, and unusual beliefs and convictions. According to Susan Clancy, a Harvard scientist, a large proportion of the "abducted" tend to have schizotypal symptoms. People with this psychological qualities may seem to change a bit, but at the same time they can be highly educated and intelligent. They tend to think "magically", to believe in unusual and strange things. Most of the believers who were kidnapped, you are not afraid to believe in magic, psycho-kinase, astrology, gods and other supernatural/paranormal phenomena. 

    In her book "Abducted: How People Come to Believe They Were Kidnapped", Susan Clancy writes that kidnapped people are pleased with their experience, band none of them will refuse to repeat them. Despite all the shock or suffering experienced, kidnapped people value their experience. "Their lives have improved. They felt less lonely, began to look optimistic about the future, feel better people. They chose to be "kidnapped" themselves - writes Clancy.

    One of the most common abduction scenarios that are repeated throughout the world, in different cultures, for different people: waking up from strange lights and sounds at night. The human body is paralyzed, tangled, unable to even call for help. You can feel strange effect, as if threw whole body went electricity. Possible levitation - the abductee m feel that the cluttered body rises above the bed. A huge alien head appears. These creatures are investigating with various instruments and so on. Experiences are horrible and definitely sounds like from Sci-Fi Horror movies/books. Nevertheless, the events themselves are believed to be mere hallucinations caused by sleep paralysis.

    Common grey alien, this species really do like abducting people since there are reported more then 82 different colours, shapes of extraterrials.

    Usually, when a sleeping person is paralyzed, his body is immovable. This is a security mechanism that makes us while sleeping, do not fall from the sleeping place (bed) or go out and get hurt. However, sometimes this protection mechanism can instruct and a person can wake his body in a state of paralysis. The brain is also not completely awake - they are still dreaming. An experienced person perceives the environment, feels his body, is staring, but can not move and still can see dreams. These dreams, or hallucinations, look incredibly bright and realistic. The whole body feels visible events. However, then aliens, ghosts or other mystical creatures are visible - all of this is just a fantasy fruit. If you have never been introduced to UFO stories, saw aliens pictures, movies, read books. It's almost zero possibility, that you gonna dream that one night. In dreams you can see figures which you already know. Humans face etc, that goes with sexual fantasies aswell. oh....almost fogort...blind people don not dream of images/colours, they dream smells or sounds.

    Sleep paralysis, according to skeptics, is often the cause of recollections of abduction. However, Susan Clancy claims that nobody opens a full set of memories and impressions about the kidnap after night. Most often, these memories are "tied up" from dreaming asleep or awakening stages. Sometimes you wake up feeling uncertain, strange, which you want to explain. Those with more elegant imagination can choose aliens as an explanation. And then the brain can begin to create false memories of the abduction. Therefore, in some cases, the kidnapped person can claim that the aliens have blocked their memory and, over time, it returns after a piece. The creative mind can tighten hallucinations to false facts . For example, a strange bruise on the body, thanks to brain fantasy, can be a "proof" of an alien implant. 

    The strange phenomenon of sleep paralysis is not something very unusual or bad in itself. It affects about 25 percent of the world's population. About 5 percent of them feel the complete set of sleep paralysis - images, sounds, touches, even smells (as i mentioned before with blind people). The human brain is incredibly powerful, and alone capable of creating such experiences. A person can be proud of such mindfulness. Nevertheless, these opportunities may well be misleading. When looking for the explanations of the experiences, people who are naive or too fanciful and creative can believe that they were actually kidnapped by aliens. Magical explanations for magical people are much more encouraging, seemingly more meaningful. Therefore, the "kidnapped" can enter into a belief in the hallucinations they experience. The UFOs "researchers", which publish various pseudo-science books, fantastic films and other stories about aliens, do not help to separate these realities from hallucinations. In many cases it's just a simple wishful thinking.

    Sleep paralysis explains far from all the supposed alien experiments with humans. The second main rational explanation is the phenomenon of false memories. This is called human recollections, which are strongly believed, but which have not occurred. Richard McNally's experiment, which investigated the abducted reactions to their own stories, revealed that false memories of the body could lead to similar symptoms as post-traumatic stress syndrome. Listening to their own recorded stories about the abduction, subjects pressure exerted, intensified their sweating.

    This experiment was conducted to find out the effects of false memories on the body, and not the "truth" about alien abductions. Therefore, the premise was that the memories of the investigators were false. Proved that the mistaken memories of the abducted are really wrong - almost impossible. However, there may be discrepancies between real facts and stories. It's hard for a human brain to create a story about what it did not experience. Therefore, if the kidnapped is very interested, for example, in aviation - his story may have plenty of right-looking details about spacecraft, airplanes, and so on. And here, in areas where it is not possible, there can be a heap of logical and actual mistakes that reveal the truth about false memories. The story about abduction has same importance as abductee's characteristic.

    Betty's drawing of the alien she believed she saw.

    The phenomenon of false memories itself has been tracked and investigated many times. The most common memories are about sexual abuse or catastrophes. For example, in 1998, was a shooting in USA school, many injured. Psychologists Robert Pynoos and Karim Nader interviewed 133 children and found out a striking thing: some of children who did not even were at school at that day, swore "surviving" a shootout. They sincerely believed that everything was happening to their eyes. They also demonstrated symptoms of post traumatic stress syndrome. It's as if you personally would have survived all those events.

    In this case, finding out the truth - false memories or not - was quite easy. What about the abductees ? Is it possible for a believer to prove that he is wrong in the absence of witnesses by abduction ? Could you question the memories that have become part of your life that you remember bright, clear, and associated with all the rest of your life ? Hardly.... Psychologist Richard McNally says that it's practically impossible for a believer, being kidnapped, to explain that this has not happened. Therefore, it's not even worth doing. However, it is important for people who are familiar with false memories to know about this phenomenon and be ready carefully evaluate other narratives.

    These two human phenomena of the brain: sleep paralysis and false memories can rationally explain virtually all the events associated with abductees. On the other hand, they can not deny that a man was not really kidnapped by an alien. The probability that he was not abducted is wildly large. A human being, hoping for his abduction will successfully ignore any rational explanations and probabilities.

  12. Well, all the search parties have returned. It turns out that the first search party had already come back and just went straight to bed (apparently they emphasized the “Party” part of their title)… Stern notes were posted in the personnel folders of all involved…

    This year’s route has been selected and without further ado, here it is:

    The race will begin in the Grand Central Square, in the heart of the UM Complex… All racers will be sorted by their teams, in order of talent, winning records (and bribes of course)… Each team will be lined up in one of the many (mostly) straight (and mostly paved) streets that radiate out from the Grand Square (it’s not really square shaped – it’s just named that to confuse people)… When the starting bazooka is fired, the racers will all rush inward onto the (mostly circular-ish) traffic circle (known as a roundabout to some), and will speed around counter-clockwise for three full circuits… At this time the Grand All-High Inquisitor Mod will pull the lever that opens the “Ancient Endless Spiral Stairs of Doom” (which have been mostly covered with the cheapest grade of plywood we could find – so that it forms a 15 mile long 60 degree spiral down ramp…

    The “Ancient Endless Spiral Stairs of Doom” were the result of a Public Works Project by a group of Inquisitor Mods a few thousand years ago… The original plans were for this to be a rather short spiral staircase down 15 meters to a lavish train station, which was to be built to begin linking UM’s far flung areas together… However, the designers abbreviated 15 meters to 15 m which the construction crew mistook for 15 miles… After the construction crew had gotten started, it was discovered that no one had invented trains yet, so the Inquisitors scrapped the project but neglected to tell the furiously digging crews… When the bottom was reached it was discovered that they had dug down into a series of ancient lava tubes, Prehistoric mammoth-gopher tunnels and some of the original dungeon levels…

    Upon reaching the bottom of the “Ancient Endless Spiral Stairs of Doom” those racers that survive will be directed by rapidly strobing neon lights down the twisting tunnels and chambers, along the Ancient Grand Gallery with its view that overlooks 30 deeper levels (watch out – no safety rails!)  and finally along the Ancient Underground Sea (be cautious… there are “things” that live in there and they have tentacles!)…

    The racers will then find themselves emerging from the underground at the base of the World famous Icanseemyhousefromhere Mountain and across the lovely and scenic Misty Marsh of Miasmic Wonder… (The Race Committee would like to take this opportunity to give a heartfelt thank you to the many “volunteers” (and their next of kins) who worked so hard (and for so little pay) to layout the plywood over the swampy ground to form the roadway for the racers to use…)

    After crossing the Misty Marsh, the racers will travel through the Eastern Artillery Impact Zone (B), where as they speed along they will have the pleasure of witnessing the production testing of the latest model of Rocket Assisted Pogo-sticks for Seniors – which should amuse the racers to no end…

    Once across the Impact Zone (which will most definitely be probably not receiving artillery hits at the time of the race – but you never know!) the racers will pull into the courses sole rest stop, where they can stretch their legs, get a cold frosty beverage (on sale from the Renegade Beer Balloon Fleet) and change their pants (as necessary), The Noggin’ Knockers Band will be providing musical entertainment (for a small fee they will move on and play somewhere else) and everyone is encouraged to polka for a bit before getting back on with the race…

    The next leg of the race is perhaps the most dangerous… It is across the heart of UM’s “Land of Lost Tax Accountants”… Racers are advised to make all speed through here as the Tax Accountants are likely to ensnare you into a lengthy and hideously boring Tax audit – so beware!

    After escaping the clutches of the Tax Accountants, it is directly into the Eastern Squiggle Reserve, where the racers will attempt to evade the rather lonely squiggles who are just looking for someone to pet them and take them home – racers are reminded that Squiggle Anti-Dote, chain-mail gauntlets and anti-itch cream are NOT on sale at the final rest stop – so bring your own!

    And the final leg of the race is into the Eastern Oubliette Zone of the Central Complex, where the teeming mobs of fans will be waiting excitedly for the racers to speed past as they pelt them with rotten fruit, water balloons and glitter bombs…

    So that’s the route for this year’s race… Study it, form your strategies and remember that June 3rd is the final day for Bribes to be placed (unless of course you bribe the officials to accept later bribes) – and may the best tricyclist (and best briber of course) win! (or at least survive)…

  13. 2018-05-31_204128.thumb.jpg.201be5287790aa5f3a1144f73fd4209d.jpg


    Dedicated to Sir Spike Milligan and Syd



  14. Spyro the Dragon is quite possibly one of the single most influential and important parts of my life. ^_^ That may sound strange given that Spyro is just a simple little polygonal 90's platformer videogame about a miniscule purple dragon who collects gems and breaths fire, but to me personally it has meant so much more...


    (Images Above - cover art from the original trilogy games released for the Sony Playstation console)

    I had a rough childhood dealing with abuse (that I won't go into detail here), and so my mind was already naturally an escapist. I've always been an avid daydreamer who would escape the problems of the real world mentally into my own little fantasy world in my head. I've done so as far back as I could remember. So when I first came in contact with the first Spyro the Dragon game when I was only five or six years old, I was instantly transported to a whole other magical world that I had the freedom to explore.

    It was the first video game I ever played, and it was introduced to me by my father (the source of my abuse) of all people. In it you could travel to other worlds, each with a life of it's own. Filled with magic and mystery, as well as interactive things in the environment. The game actively encouraged exploration. To look over every nook and cranny for hidden treasure. To travel (and escape) to all sorts of different, new, and exciting worlds. I played it every time I went over to my father's house for visits. It was my means of coping. You played as a little purple dragon who was the smallest of the bunch, and didn't have much in terms of abilities. But he had a lot of spunk, and wasn't afraid of anything. By playing as Spyro, I felt as though I could take on the world. Like no matter how big the challenges are, and no matter how small you are, those challenges could be overcome. It gave me great encouragement and inspiration. Spyro was my hero growing up.

    Spyro was actually even my first ever imaginary friend (Lol, clearly I didn't have many friends growing up). And in fact, one of my most precious possessions is Spyro stuffed animal my dad gave me. He spent hours and even days on ebay bidding for it until he finally got it just for me. It wasn't for a holiday or special event, he just did it out of the kindness of his heart because he knew how much Spyro meant to me. To this day, it's the only true gift my father ever gave to me. After getting it though, I exchanged my imaginary friend Spyro for the stuffed animal Spyro. I treated that thing like they do in those old Calvin and Hobbes comic strips. It rarely ever left my side, and I treated that thing like a member of my own family.

    I may sound like a total mental case by saying all this, but Spyro truly has been the single most influential part of my childhood. And it affects me on up to this day into young adulthood.

    I've always loved videogames, and Spyro is undoubtedly what got me into gaming in the first place. But it was never about 'gaming' for me per say. It was all about the escapism. Call it, a 'fantasy simulator' if you will. It never needed to be complex or super dark or realistic or have brilliant game mechanics or whatnot. That's why I honestly fell out of the gaming craze around high school really. Partly because of what I just mentioned, but also partly because I honestly didn't have much money to keep up with all the new consoles and didn't feel like my money would be best spent on new games that I only half cared for. I just can't get into all these stat-heavy RPG's or FPS clones personally. I miss the old days where gaming was simple. I love old school 3-D collectathon platformers. That's why I'm so happy that 3-D platformers seem to finally be making a come back! And most importantly, so is Spyro! :D

    Yes, Spyro the Dragon is coming back, completely remastered (or should I say remade) from the ground up!

    Enter: The Spyro Reignited Trilogy

    For those who don't know, Spyro the Dragon has been suffering as a franchise in recent years :hmm: (most notably ever since the release of Spyro: Enter the Dragonfly in 2002, which pretty much single-handedly killed the franchise from being so bad). The first 3 games that were released on the original Sony Playstation system in the late 1990's are regarded by fans to be the greatest in the series. However after the 3rd game, the development team behind the originals lost the rights to Spyro and thus the franchise spiraled downward pretty much in a verticle fashion from that point onward. The franchise has suffered through 2 different reboots (each one completely different from all the rest), with the second reboot being basically an entirely different game series that merely used the brand name 'Spyro' as a subtitle so as to bring in more original Spyro fans as a cheap marketing gimmick. <_< Needless to say, Spyro the Dragon has been pushed ever more onto the back burner for quite some time now...

    However, now thanks to the new Spyro Reignited Trilogy, the original 3 games are coming back with brand new amazing HD graphics and re-released as one single game 3-in-1. :o Just check out the side-by-side comparisons here:


    And for all new images released thus far:

    I never would've imagined in my wildest dreams that my childhood idol and mascot, the original 3 videogames that helped me cope with horrendous circumstances, and helped to define such an incredibly core aspect of who I am, would ever see such a triumphant return like this. This is not just another reboot of the franchise, or some brand new game entirely. It's a 100% complete remake of the originals, simply eith better graphics, better sound quality, better everything. It's like the videogame gods looked down and read my mind and magically turned what had always been a hopeless fantasy to me, never to even in the least bit see the light of day, and made it into a reality. I'm simply amazed. Words can't even begin to express how much this remake means to me.

    Spyro is more to me then just a game. And the Reignited trilogy is more than just a simple remake. They aren't just remastering a 20-year old videogame, they're remastering my childhood. You may find it silly and weird for me to still be so invested in what is essentially a kids game, but certain things like this stick with us for the rest of our lives. Spyro will always be the #1 most defining aspect of my early childhood, and I'm incredibly grateful to be able to now play the new Reignited Trilogy in all it's HD glory! :lol:

    Thanks for letting me share this tidbit of my soul with all of you.

    This is Aquila King, signing out. ;)

  15. The Adjustment Bureau

    I went to the Adjustment Bureau yeasterday to get me out of a fix I got myself into. I won't go into details, but they sent some of there operatives out to mnage things. The result was satisfactory.

    Then those who's Situation was adjusted sent in a complaint about my Situation as regards to them. So I had to modify my behavior to accomidate their complaint. This caused me some distresss, as I was forced to adjust my relationship with my girlfriend. An unforseen effect for sure.

    She considered my modified behavior as a cooling off of our little love affair. Of course, I couldn't tell her that the Adjustment Bureau was involved, she might have gone to them herself for re- re-ajustment of the Situation.

    So, I just had to live with the new statis quo for a while. I figured things would eventually get back to normal between us. But, as several weeks went by and her attitude toward me hadn't changed, I thought of another Adjustment.

    Thing is, this can go on forever. The real problem is, these Adjustment Bureau operatives become jaded in their work, bored, I suppose, so that they usually leave some loose ends lying around. These loose ends always seem to require a further Adjustment.

    No system is perfect. Social engineering is an art, not a science, after all, and these op's are just human, though they have strict rules to follow. Still, I sometimes wonder if these op's leave these loose ends on purpose so that further Adjustments are required.

    As for my girlfriend, in the end I just let it go. It was a little strange allowing nature to evolve as it will. After all, it's a fascenating game, the Adjustent Bureau manipulating relationships between us all. A sort of chess, I suppose. Who can manuver to advantage. Or, rather, have the authorities manuver for us. In this way we don't have to be expert chess players ourselves, the Bureau moves the pieces for us.

    In any case, at this moment I'm anticipating some new change to occur which presents me with a new opportunity to use the Bureau. No one leaves events to chance, after all, that would be foolish. It's just a tempory interval for me, waiting for the next Situation to evolve. When it does, the opportunity will present itself for my next move, to thwart whoever's Adjustment is imposed on me so I can make my own reciprical Adjustment. Requesting the Bureau to turn the new situation back to my own advantage.

    In this way we keep the Adjustment Bureau pretty busy, but that's what they're for, right? I really don't care how often I use them, as no one else cares, either. It's become a way of life for all of us.

    In fact, I've got to know some of these Bureau op's pretty well, as usualy they're the same ones who make most of my Adjustments. It's more efficient for the Bureau to use the same op's familiar with my situations, after all. I wouldn't say we've become friends, but we understand each other out of familiarity, and explinations are often inferred instead of having to go into tedious details.

    So presently I wait. A temporary respite. Of course, these moments of peace cause me a lot of anxiety, waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak.

    What I mean is, who would want this eventless period to last, events happening naturally as they will? Waiting helpless for the unknown to happen? That would be a maladjustment to our modern society. Unthinkable. A life without purpose. The chaos of the natural flow.

    The will to survive is only successful when we seek to dominate and control others. The configuration of the present Situation to optimal result is the purpose of life itself. Only the Adjustment Bureau allows us the means to remain in control.

    My Situation now is, it seems my former girlfriend is having an affair with one of the Bureau op's the Bureau sent to normalize my prior Situation. I'm wondering if I can request the Bureau to Adjust the Bureau itself? An interesting and novel circumstance.

    This leads me to the question of the ultimate aim of the Bureau. Is the Bureau the real controlling factor of our society, keeping us busy with only the illusion of control? After all, it's the Bureau that decides the outcome of Situations.

    I don't know the answer to this, all I do know is I must submit a new Request soon before my present gets out of hand and I find myself at some new disadvantage.

    Tomorrow I will contact the Bureau and present my new Request. Since the Bureau itself is involved in my Situation, I'm not at all confident in the result.

    I fear the Adjustment will be for the advantage of the Bureau and not for my personal Situation. Perhpas in this my question of the ultimate purpose of the Bureau will be answered.












  16. I have just looked back through this blog. I am shocked to find that I started it mote than 11 years ago, My original intention was to blog my thoughts on... well any thing I had a thought about really.

    In those more than 11 years I have had several periods where I have not made an entry for years on end. In fact this will be only the 83rd entry. It seems that I have less than 8 thoughts a year.

  17. Just Another Girl
    Latest Entry

    Why is it when people divorce they use the kids to get what they want? It is like a game to see who can get the most out of it. Why? I'll tell you why. People can't grow up and see what they are doing to the kids. It's like the kids can't do one thing without hurting one of the parents. They are pulled and thrown around as if they are nothing but something to be owned. 

  18. Ieshia Sparks

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    Unknown scratch mark  happened while I was standing in the kitchen at my parents house talking to them and then I felt a burning sensation on my leg and look down and seen the scratch. 

  19. So it seems with almost 2 months passing that I still am unable to post status updates and that from my side some of my posts, though still in my stuff, does not want to properly appear. It is so nice to see that I can barely do anything anymore. I truly loved this site, but now it just seems to hinder things. This was such a great place to come and express things and updates things about my life, the very thing I had wanted this page to be, but apparently because I didn't want to make blog posts, made posts to long, and promoted a separate page of mine to be able to see the longer posts that kept being taken down, I am unable to do anything but type here. So really I may just do update posts every couple months as I have no other need for this site if I am not able to make status posts anymore or have this page be what I had intended for it to be so ya guess that is life. People don't like when you do stuff they don't want happening and have to be d**** about it all.

    ~Blessed Be, Damon~

  20. Now that I'm older, here is what I have discovered --

    I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
    My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
    I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
    It's funny, but I don't remember being absent minded.
    All reports are in ... Life is now officially unfair.
    If all is not lost, where is it????
    It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
    Some days you are the dog. Some days you are the hydrant.
    I wish the buck stopped here, I could use a few.
    Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
    Accidents in the back seat cause . . . kids.
    It is hard to make a comeback when you have never been anywhere.
    The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you are in the bathroom.
    If God had wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my knees.
    When I am finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?
    It is not hard to meet expenses . . . they are everywhere.
    The only differences between a rut and a grave are the depth and one has the ends kicked out.
    These days I spend a lot of time thinking about the here after.....
    I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I am here after.......
    If I wake up in the morning and nothing hurts, it may be a good indication that I have died during the night.


    Deep within the psyche of all humans lives a desire for recognition of one’s existence and prowess.  In order to fulfill this desire within mankind, one finds the first step to position for recognition of who and what we are here in Time/Space or physicality.  That step is the act of leveraging all physical aspects for power and control in every event sequence that we perceive and participate with in life. Thus we begin our learning here in this physicality.  The first step is one of moving thought that manifests into an act designed for power over the other.  The Me (you) view all outside or external entities or material objects as the Other.  Put simply — there is Me (you) and there is the Other.  To the Me, all outside persons, things, whatever — are the Other.  The Me competes with the Other for power and control within the realm of Lawful-existence or what some call the Essence (Laws of Physics or Nature).

    The Essence is also considered the Universe.  It is where the Me and the Other reside in a quantum existence full of laws and forces that leverage us by its own making or being.  Some call this realm God.  No matter how you term this inexplicable being or state of existence, you are here taking part in a drama that no one person can explain.  You, the Me, really do not know if the Other really exists, but if it does not exist, do you exist?  Without the Other, would you have the data to communicate back to you in feedback, that you exist?

    The Void is the Ultimate unknowable, yet it may be non-existence.  You may never know the meaning of the Void as the Me.  The self-oriented being or person can not know the Void, for it is deep, dark and undetectable to most minds.  Selfish persons who desire recognition are really looking for reinforcement that they exist.  Selfishness causes non-learning and pushes us closer to the edge of the Void.  Without attention from the Other, we have no worldly data to feedback on the reality of our existence.  The only way we can ever learn our way in the universe is to become unselfish and reach out to the Other to learn from all of them.  To join the Other is to become unselfish.  This is what some call Love or Human Coherency.

    To Love the Other as we Love the Me is to gain knowledge on the Essence and the Void.  The more we share knowledge with the Other, the more we see of life.  An unselfish person soon learns that he is the combination of the Me and the Other.

    Leveraging for Power in life means that the Me will use Violence, Wealth, Religion, Knowledge, Beauty, or Love to gain control over the Other, or seek recognition from the Other.  There is really only one selfless means of communicating with the Other.  It is Love or shared coherency.  All other means are elements that invoke the ancient law of consequence.  The law of consequence is also known as the law of cause and effect… what goes around, comes around.  Because the law of consequence is leveraged into existence by selfish acts by the Me for his/her own gain (in effect saying that the Other does not exist therefore negating the Me’s own existence).

    Look into the eye of the Other and you will see the mirror of the self. No person exists beyond the data of his/her own senses.  Without the feedback of the other’s activities, there would be no data to see, hear, taste, smell, touch or examine with the brain or the sixth sense.  The seventh sense is intuition which few beings develop unless they are unselfish and understand the power of the law of consequences.  In your mind dances all the data of the Other.  Without the knowledge gained of the outside world, you would be nothing.  You are what you learn.  You are an accumulation of all your life experiences.  You are the Other replicated by leveraged experiences reinforced over and over again. Wisdom is gained when you learn to Love the Other and Life becomes a Passion for harmony and continued becoming through visualization in Mind.

    To move deeper we must visualize this reality as a matrix or arena of participating experiences.  Our Universe is like a record, tape, disc, or some other storage device for information.  Only it is much more.  It is a continuum that is open-ended.  It is everywhere and everything and it is in a state of durational change.  It is enfolded in a super holographic moiré matrix of multiple dimensions that act as one or many depending upon the informational flux.  It is like an atmosphere of mental assemblages of feedback loops that appear to be its construction only in that its emphasis localizes in beings who become.  This universe is hierarchical in design with lower level entities not totally knowing of higher-level beings, yet the reverse is not true.  They know us, or things could not have been built.

    Informational connections are like sense organs.  The more information and observation (feedback) the more complex the assemblage of localized forms. The more gestalt or whole the feedback loops of connections, the higher the being and more active is the work.  The Universe is metaphorical in that like-breeds-like in evolutional information constantly burgeoning. Carriers, or entities feed through themselves growing through various stages that appear as birth, life and death to the localized environment but to the higher stages it is only process of information toward ever-higher levels.

    Opening up new feedback loops amounts to adding new information, thus expanding the localization into new realms of understanding.  As expansion grows, human language, because it is linear, becomes a curse for communication on higher levels where synchronistic hologestalt meaning is understood.  This language (meaning) is metaphorical and multifaceted, requiring a mind or lens (localized brain) of the same interface design. Growth and decay, which is like withdrawing from a stage of development, depends on the quality of information that mingles with other information to create tools for leveraging information. Therefore, we find ourselves in a Spiritual Dimensional Presence expressing as ALWAYS.

    Dimensional Presence is a condition where an entity mentally cognizes or thinks that he/she is present in existence or reality by discerning sensual stimuli (atmosphere, environs, information and things) that suggest he/she is alive due to the feedback of instantaneous information to the Carrier’s mentality or mind. All sensory data gives the feeling that they exist reinforced by the constant input of past history. Memory is key to the feeling of progressing into potential. One wonders if such a presence has built from a condition of previously suggested as Always. Such a condition of eternally existing as a mentality in many states of expression is who and what we are here in Time/Space. Dimensional Presence coalesces via some means of manifestation into a package of informational dynamics that moves into and through a materializing state supported by an organizational apparatus that directs echeloned dissipation of preplanned articulation. To be requires preparation system/s of established instigators and expressers that can methodically synthesize consistently through a framework of echeloned laws and actions off those means of

    We are in awe of being “vehicularly” created in order to experience physicality! To build our minds through physically doing and learning is worthy of the process of existence! The expanse of creation is directly proportional to the ability to comprehend space beyond time and build infrastructures in the mental reference plane. Our minds fly to new challenges around every corner and beyond every cloud! We ride the duality of holospirited light whereby our power ignites purposeful energy for magically traversing here!

    Mind pervades the known echelons of dimensional space/time hidden in the universal fabric of existence! Mind is in evidence everywhere as design shows its prowess through its very interface with reality! It’s logic and reason is evident even in its complex incongruity. Mind understands that chaos is unperceived unity when speed factors take actions beyond human understanding thereby joining the universal macro-sphere. Learning Chaos requires deep yet speedy concentration. Those of us who are highly advanced know chaos and use it to our advantage in the Universal Macro-sphere.

    The Universal Macro-sphere is a realm not discerned by the mundane and flippant. It is the deciphering of the secret messages of the entire scope of the info-scape or the universe and the dimensional Akashic Realms — where its conditions allow one to see beyond the self. The stratospheric relational held in the very landscape of the Earth holds the secret of the driving force of the unseen, moving mind. The reading of the striations and the very scratches of an aftermath from reality, show the history of device impact and movement here in time space. One must know the engineering required in this traversing experience.

    Examining the data held in the echelonic realms gives us the entire scope of mentality whereby the essence of being resides. So many forget via hastening their love of pleasure and adulation to cloud their intellect thereby not attaining their mission‘s duties. We should be totally amazed toward awe that we get to be here at all…

    Not that one is, but that whereby Is, is. Thus is the Crux of Being and Becoming.



  22. Jimmy

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    Paranormal activity in my house is starting to become a thing of the norm around here. Im not sure what i want from this post, but i do want to share some of the things that have transpired since last winter, maybe hear an outside opinion. So the strange thing about all this, is that everything seems to only happen in one room of the house, the living room, but also, only seems to happen when there are a number of people around to witness. It is a rarity that anything happens when I'm alone. I guess I'll share one story, the one that seems the hardest to explain. My buddies and i were in my living room, facing the TV, with our backs toward the entrance of the room. We have hardwood floors so footsteps are more defined. But as we watch TV, we hear footsteps fast approaching behind us, but they made a slapping noise on the floor, as if somebody was barefoot. I turn, because, there are other people in my house. The noise wasnt even a concern initially. But i turn back and simultaneously get hit in the face by a light breeze, one you would feel as somebody quickly passes by you. The footsteps continued on past me into a wall. I turn to my friend next to me, who i know realize has tears rolling down his face asking "you just felt that too?" My buddies on the other side of the room, frozen in fear, not able to put words together of what we all just witnessed. I was never a believer of ghosts. It all seemed a little like quakery. But there is no denying now, that something is out there. Ive never felt comfortable in my own home since that night 

  23. StarMountainKid
    Latest Entry

    Recently I have received instructions from The Adept Zondor, King of the Dwarf People of Mnomomopolous, advising me to safeguard my psychic powers. I must admit, my psychic powers have mysteriously been on the wane lately. The Adept Zondor told me of a conspiracy by unknown paranormal Cosmic entities are determined to suck up all the paranormal energy in the universe to increase their own metaphysical powers.

    Actually, I did have a premonition about this situation. It was a sort of déjà vu experience in reverse. I had the feeling that I hadn’t been somewhere before, but that I will be there in the future, and then I’ll recognize it. This has put me on edge lately, as you can imagine.
    I also had a synchronistic experience. I had my palm read. I usually don’t go in for palm reading as I consider this a too physical exponent of psychic abilities, but I was worried after all these unnerving telepathic experiences. The result of the Palmist was, I would soon be contacted by someone who was an exponent of necrology and an interpreter of ancient runes, and this person would introduce me to a Spiritual Master who would relate further specific information.

    The Palmist also told me I would soon meet a tall, dark stranger, and to watch out for women who buy their clothes at Walmart or wear too much makeup.

    At any rate, this Spiritual Master would reveal an ancient prophecy relating to the Oracle of Thesphus, whatever that is. You see, this is the problem I’ve been worried about: I don’t understand any of this stuff. Well, except for The Adept Zondor, King of the Dwarf People of Mnomomopolous, who I’ve known since childhood. See, when I was about twelve years old He appeared unrepentantly in my mother’s garden during a thunderstorm. It seems he had had an emergency landing. Somehow his astral projector had become attuned to random lightening strikes. I think he fixed that problem later, but I’m not sure.

    Well, Zondor and I immediately hit it off. It was synergistic. Also, we both had a fascination for cryptozoology and the more frightening aspects of shadow people and black-eyed children, and we both admitted we look with trepidation under our beds at night before we go to sleep. Funnily enough, we also had read and enjoyed the obscure, Professor Melman’s “Encyclopedia of Psudo-Mythic Entities, Bio-Psychic-Anomalies and Precognition As It Applies To Telepathic Empathy and Remote Viewing”. A hefty tome, indeed, and unusual for two strangers to have read this rare and singular volume. I believe this is not mere coincidence, as Zondor explained it as an example of mutual and personal synchronicity.

    Well, as I was saying, The Adept Zondor related that these mysterious and secret entities are collecting psychic vibrations for their own personal use and power. This frightens me, I must admit. This is because, if it is a real conspiracy, we all know conspiracies are always evil in intent. I have never known a conspiracy to be benevolent in nature. So I live in fear. I mean, who wants their psychic abilities drained off by some strange and mysterious secret society, like the Mormons, Shriners and Freemasons, for instance?

    I’m just saying, we who have the psychic gift and are attuned to the metaphysical and paranormal should be on the alert. I must therefore advise astral travelers to beware of unforeseen detours that may be lurking unnoticed. There are malevolent forces about, perhaps emanating false vibrations as an evil web to catch unsuspecting voyagers on the astral plane.

    Out of body experiences may have to be curtailed for a while as well until this mystery is cleared up. We all want to get safely back into our bodies, right? Perhaps for a while we should just install mirrors on our bedroom ceilings.

    Clairvoyants may have already picked up some of these distortions in the Cosmic Consciousness. All information of these anomalies should be psychically reported to The Adept Zondor, King of the Dwarf People on Mnomomopolous. This now is the Celestial Clearing House for such information, even if one considers these intimations only rumor, gossip between local palmists and fortune tellers, or even hearsay among alchemists and pseudo-scientists. One can not be too careful.

    Be ever on the alert.

  24. If I add two of the things I was shown, this is what I come up with.


  25. Stumbling through life with Hank

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    What if polititions weren't elected. What if they were conscripted. Kinda like when those famous words were uttered; "Ask not what your country country can do for you, rather what you can do for your country". What if every one had to serve a term in office. Names could be drawn from a computer that match people's skills to a particular posting. All done randomly with the only caveat being you have to be qualified to do the job. That way the cream would be skimmed from the top instead of the bottom of the bucket.

         Lets face facts. Most people in politics today are in it for them themselves. It's easy for them to get elected because no one in their right mind would want the job. Pick the best from your population and you get the best representation. A good non political example is the Switzerland and Israel. In order to own a firearm you must first serve in your countries military. Make great sense.

    Applying this to politics may be the only hope we have of having a peaceful, prosperous, non partisan government.

                                                                           What if.  

    As usual, feel free to criticize or add suggestions. All are welcome.