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  1. Not A Rockstar
    Latest Entry

    Day shift always was the worst for me, I am a night owl, I like night shift work. As if the 6am to 6pm shift was not bad enough, having to be on the road in the squad car by 4:30 to be there on time just seemed like insult to injury. Having to get up before dawn is purgatory. There is not enough coffee in the world to make that easier and I needed my first cup as I drove along Highway 98, heading to my beat. 

    The one consolation is that nobody was on the roads then. I usually had plenty of time to meditate and have my quiet time and wake up before the stuff hit the fan. This morning, though, there was one other vehicle moving, a brand new dark green Ford pick up. For no known reason, it drew my attention over and over despite my efforts to ignore it and stay on my quiet time. You have to know I was a great cop in many ways, but for sure I was never a legend for my traffic enforcement.  If you were not an active hazard I really could care less, to be honest. Me blue lighting and forcing my way into the insane Florida tourist traffic to stop someone sailing through it above the speed limit seemed a worse safety risk than just ignoring it, and if you did things I also did, I cared even less about it. My ticket obsessed sergeant hated me for this attitude and yes it did reflect on my performance reports.

    This pick up was driving normally, not speeding, and there was no reason for it, but it obsessed me inexplicably. I had to stop it, had to deal with it, I felt this all through me, and not a bit of that was coming from my brain. I had no reason to stop it, no desire to stop it, no.... dammit, no tag. There was no tag on it, plus this insistent sense that I MUST stop it, something was very wrong, and with a heartfelt, unuttered curse, I reached over and flipped the blue lights then radioed the stop into dispatch. 

    It was one of the loneliest stretches along the highway right there, beside the Gulf of Mexico. You had to be careful pulling off as the sand was a liar, and seemed solid enough but in bad areas was like confectioners sugar from the poundings of past hurricanes and would drop you deeper than your axels. This guy was not wise to it, but he did pick a small area that managed to hold him up and instead of pulling over on the shoulder he pulled into a sort of small lay by which was blocked a bit from the highway in view thanks to a surviving dune sort of remnant behind us once we stopped. He pulled in nose first, and I drew up behind him stopping with the front of my car about ten feet behind his back bumper, and adjusted my spotlight to shine into his mirrors just enough to make it harder to see where exactly I was coming from if this was gonna go bad. I left my car door open for cover as there was nothing out here otherwise and we go with tactics on this sort of thing at night alone for miles. My nearest possible back up was a mile away and due to get off soon and probably half asleep though my stop would roust him out to drift this way if only for something to do to stay awake.Second to domestics, traffic stops are the most likely time to die if you are a cop. 

    Nice guy, clean cut black man who was appalled, it seemed, about the tag and went into his back seat where I noticed no less than four Florida tags laying around on the floor. He had just bought the truck he told me and one of those tags there went to it.

    Problem. It doesn't work that way. All four were from one of three different counties also. 99% of the time this scenario would prove they were stolen tags. Problem. That cup of coffee I longed for before shift was looking further away all the time.

    So, need your license and registration, please, and we will sort this out. Nice truck, both of us want to be on our way and if I just get a good tag here we are done. No need for a ticket or anything.

    Tyrone was good with that, seemed happy, and gave me his license and then eyed the glove compartment.

    The purchase papers were in there, insurance, too, he said, needed to reach for them so I could see what they had done and which tag went to the truck. He didn't want any trouble.

    Between his literal hand and the glove compartment was a backpack on the driver's seat open at the top. Nothing in his manner to concern me, no reason to be concerned and I had already told him I had no plan to ticket him over the tag, once we sorted he had one, in fact. He seemed really calm and pleasant, and I certainly was. Really. I was a nice cop unless you really worked for it and Tyrone was not working for anything but to get back on the road and done with this.

    Go for it, I told him, raising the weapon grade flashlight I had in hand to light where his hand was going and reveal what was in the glove compartment as soon as it opened. My attention was there, on his hand, not on the empty beach sand stretching out from where I stood all the way to the Gulf. Nowhere at all for anything or anyone to not be seen for a hundred yards, moon high above lighting the spot like a small stage area. He smiled and reached for the glove box.

    "GET BACK!" I heard a male voice say commandingly an instant before the rest.

    My breath rushed out from the unexpected blow of a hand striking the shock plate of my bullet proof vest so hard it lifted me off my feet and threw me back all the way to fall behind my open car door and I looked up in disbelieving confusion and shock to see the lights revealing Tyrone's hand coming up with a gun and he turned sharply to shoot it where I had been standing and then panicked in confusion to find me not there. The way he jerked and looked out as if I maybe had stepped aside would have been comic under other circumstances. As it was, I was freaking out and radioed for backup, gun sighted, and drew down on him and he panicked and floored his truck, which buried it halfway to China in that blasted sand. 

    I shouted at him the usual, "Don't make me shoot you, put the gun down, it isn't worth this Tyrone, drop the gun" as was trained into me automatically even as I was looking everywhere and trying to comprehend what had happened, who had thrown me back with that impossible strength, whose voice had I heard?? Who had somehow just saved my life??

    My backup screamed in, spraying sand for a quarter mile and long story short, we got Ty cuffed and secured and it turned out the truck had just been stolen about ten minutes before I saw him from the local Ford dealership. Tyrone, poor fellow, had a list of wants and warrants and even his gun was stolen from another break in he had not been charged in yet but would be now he was caught with stolen goods on him. 

    It took eight hours to fully book him as his prints kept drawing new hits all over the state as the system churned onward. Eight hours. Pages and pages of writing besides just the arrest I had him on. 

    I am not a religious sort, but the way I was raised I know the Bible back and forth. Some of it I take to heart as a good thing to know and follow. In there somewhere is the story of a wealthy man who had a little man who owed him money dragged before him. The little man told him how hard times were and he did not have the money and the rich man noted it was a large amount but, fair enough, he had no wish to be harsh so he forgave the debt in full. Forgave it all and let the fellow go. Overjoyed, the little man hurried home in relief to be freed of the huge debt over his head and then noted that one of his neighbors still owed him a small amount and had him arrested and charged for not paying this pittance back to him. 

    The rich man found out, that the fellow he had forgiven for a large sum was prosecuting someone else for a tiny debt mercilessly. It made him angry and he had the fellow arrested and punished him until he paid his full debt back in full for proving to be so ungrateful and mean despite so much having been forgiven for him.

    I did not charge Tyrone with trying to kill me, drawing on me, attempting to shoot me. I was going to die that morning, but Someone intervened and saved me from bleeding out in the sand there. It was not my skill or clever detective wits that spared me. Someone, "Other", had spared me. I felt even thinking to charge him for that would be like that little man not being thankful enough for his forgiveness to forgive anyone else. Report finally done I walked back and gave Ty his paperwork and talked with him quietly, as the other holding cells were full with inmates down for court appearances. I explained all the warrants and other things he was charged with and the theft of the truck and four stolen tags as well, and then told him I was not going to charge him for attempting to kill me out there because he had more than enough trouble to get sorted out and so I simply forgave him for it.

    That was the first time I have ever seen a hardened felon sit down and weep, just weep, as if his heart had broken. I left him there and have not seen him since so I guess he pled out.

    Me? I have struggled with that morning ever since. I have had good friends die on the job and each time guts me anew to wonder why me? Why was an average person like me saved that way and these other, really good guys, died when it went bad? Survivors guilt is what it is they say, and there is no help for it. It was not Ty who did that, he was not even close to the right position to have done that, I am not sure any human could have had the strength to so exactly hit me mid-chest and lift me up, fling me backwards about 15 feet to drop without falling behind my open door like that. It was a moon drenched area that morning, wide open for hundreds of yards to the open Gulf of Mexico all the way to the horizon. No person walked up unseen to do that and then strolled away as invisibly. Bullet proof vests are stiff, some come with shock plates for even higher protection over the heart. There is a pocket and if you have it issued, a ceramic plate that can absorb very high powered rifle rounds which can be slid down over your heart. That hand hit that and lifted me away from the danger as it said "Get back".

    I do not "believe" because I "need to" believe. I do not believe because I am weak or am really religious or delusional or whatever ridiculous reasons some few wish to blame for people who believe there is more out there, perhaps even God. It is not even faith for me. I have the evidence, I know utterly what happened that morning, I know. I know. I will always know and never doubt for a moment that there is Other out there. It touched me, I can still feel that imprint of a hand and hear that voice. What exactly it was, I do not know. Maybe an angel? Maybe God? I saw nothing there so cannot tell you that. The voice was male, the strength in that hand was infinite.

    Every single word of this is truth. This is why I believe and will not ever be shaken from it. My life is all about me, like yours is all about you. I know God Is and there is Other out there. Not faith, I know this. 

    This is why I believe.

    I write to serve.

  2. Top Hat Demon of 27th Street
    By Paul Dale Roberts, HPI’s Esoteric Detective
    Halo Paranormal Investigations – HPI International.

    Video Created by Deanna Jaxine Stinson

    Dedication to Brad Steiger
    February 19, 1936 to May 6, 2018
    This truly saddens me. Brad Steiger was truly my hero, teacher and coach in the paranormal. Many other people in the paranormal field felt he was their hero too and many of the people in the paranormal field have also learned from this great man. Brad Steiger may have left our physical realm, but legends never die, they continue on in our minds. Brad’s legacy is his immortality. Brad will live on forever with his library of well-written books, radio & TV appearances and his involvement with the entertainment industry. As a small boy, I was learning about the paranormal through Brad Steiger’s writings. Never in my wildest dreams, did I ever think I would be working with him and be included in his books. Brad gave me guidance with my paranormal investigations, he gave me insight with his expertise knowledge on all things unknown. When author Tim Beckley says he was a brother, this is so true and Brad thought of his trusted colleagues as brothers. With my family, my wife Deanna Jaxine Stinson's heart is broken, my heart is broken. Brad and Sherry Steiger have left their mark on society and to our world. Brad and Sherry are truly loved and I pray that Sherry gets through these trying times. God bless Brad and Sherry. Deanna and I, love them both.

    Initial Report:
    Date to be there: May 19, 2018 Saturday / Time to be there: 1500 Hours or 3pm: Contact Person: Kat - Activity: Entity bothering her uncle - soda can blew up and flew across room and almost hit her uncle - orbs are seen in the home and they have faces inside them - peanut butter jar moved and then there was long finger marks inside the jar.  Long finger marks in the peanut butter may have been done by the Top Hat Demon.   Cleansing required. Address to be at: XXXX  27th Street, Sacramento, CA 95822  Code: 9B16M272Z96P98T

    HPI Investigators Roll Call:
    Deanna Jaxine Stinson - HPI Co-Owner - Sensitive; Josh Brown; Geneva Brown - Empath; Lisa Steele - Sensitive; Xandean Smith; Carol Copeland - Spyro Paranormal Investigations; Elizabeth Glaros - Spyro Paranormal Investigations; Paul Dale Roberts aka The Demon Warrior - HPI Co-Owner.

    One of the occupants, nicknamed Pee Wee aka Alfred explains to me that the paranormal has been with his family for a long time.  His great grandpa was involved in conducting séances and playing with tarot cards.  His grandpa was once ran out of his own home by an evil spirit.  The house that they now live in, on 27th Street, they have lived at this residence for 3 years.  All kinds of paranormal activity has happened at this house, from seeing door knobs moving on their own slowly.  Looking into the big mirror in the bedroom and seeing a female staring back at you, wearing 1800s garb and having long blonde hair.  ENTITY IDENTIFIED:  THE BLONDE MIRROR LADY.    At one point of time, his cat was so afraid, that he jumped and leaped towards his temple.  A Mountain Dew bottle was thrown at him by an unseen entity.  The bottle came at him like a rocket and he managed to duck in time, before it hit him.  Pee Wee believes he was attacked by a large shadowy dark demon that wears a top hat.  ENTITY IDENTIFIED:  THE TOP HAT DEMON.  The Top Hat Demon is the most threatening entity is this house.  One time when the Top Hat Demon made his presence known, two entities that appeared to be angels came to the rescue and chased the Top Hat Demon away.  Once there was a little boy ghost that appeared after there was some paranormal activity in the backyard.  The little boy ghost warned the occupants of the Top Hat Demon.  ENTITY IDENTIFIED:  BACKYARD BOY.   When Deanna and Geneva did a walk-through of the house, Deanna felt portals in certain areas of the house.  Both Deanna and Geneva felt dark energy in the back bedroom.  In one of the bedrooms, the atmosphere in that room was thick.  

    Pee Wee tells me on one occasion when he saw The Top Hat Demon, he could make out that the Top Hat Demon was an older man wearing 1800 type of suit.  When this demon is around, the occupants sometime feel heartburn and hot flashes.  On another time, the Backyard Boy was seen, the occupants noticed he had blonde hair.  The Backyard Boy seems friendly and protective of the family.  When the occupants come across an entity, they instantly get goosebumps.  During the investigation, we went into the back bedroom and it felt musty, warm and the investigators felt somewhat uneasy.

    Josh obtained one EVP in the restroom and I obtained an EVP in the backyard.  My EVP sounds like about 5 whispery words that are unintelligible.  Deanna conducted a metaphysical cleansing with palo santo wood and I conducted a Roman Catholic house blessing with holy water.

    Carol Copeland - Spyro Paranormal Investigations and Elizabeth Glaros - Spyro Paranormal Investigations set up their video cameras throughout the house and the outside patio became home base with monitor showing various locations of the home and property. Carol and Elizabeth also used thermal cameras. Equipment used by other investigators were EMF Readers, temperature gauges, digital recorders, digital cameras, video cameras, special lights used for the interviews, sound box to enhance EVP recordings. Other equipment used: P-SB11 - The Portal, The Xbox Kinect Sensor.  Various K2 hits were detected in various areas of the home.

    More Videos from this Investigation:

  3. image.png.d7628c7faa8426705206851ab9d02395.png

    A beautiful, drizzly, morning
    (My first sighting of our box turtle)

    After Lauds, and Mass, I was on my way to our refectory, to do one of my duties, morning dishes.  It was for me a beautiful morning.  It was cloudy and rainy.  When the sky is overcast it brings out the green in our grass, bushes, and trees.  For me, it almost becomes a dark jade green color.  It brings me peace to see rainy weather, and I guess, I love it more than sunshine.  As I was walking towards the refectory, I noticed for the first time this year our box turtle.  It is not a pet but simply lives in our ‘inner garden’.  Has been there for many years.  So I hurried into the refectory and cut up some apple for it. 

    As I was approaching the turtle, I was again touched by its beauty.  I do not understand why I am so taken by box turtles.  They are not colorful, but I love the shades of brown, and the markings of their shells.  Also, I am intrigued because they can live very long lives.  I hope our turtle is still around long after I am gone. 

    After years of being here, he is not really afraid of us, but cautious.  So I slowly approached him, and placed the cut up apple pieces in front of him.  When I placed the apples there, he, of course, withdrew into his shell, but again came out right after I stepped back.  He dug in right away eating the sweet fruit.  So I backed up a little more and watched him for a few moments. 

    The only protection a turtle has is to go into its shell.  A pretty good defense most of the time, but when I walk through the woods I will from time, to time, see a shell that has been opened by some critter, or another.   I can’t imagine what goes on in a turtles head, but seeing someone as big as a human, compared to his size, and the sound of my steps, must cause a bit of anxiety, or a lot.  The fact that when I approached, it only stuck in its head, perhaps points to the fact, that it knows on some level, that I am not going to eat it, but just reacting, perhaps like an eye does when some object is coming towards it. 

    I can’t say I am a nature man.  However, I do love all that is within our cloister (enclosed) garden.  We have lizards, one bullfrog, of course, our turtle, and birds, who come to nest, or eat, on our lawn.  Pigeons we also have.  Beautiful birds when you see them close up.  Though their red eyes can be disconcerting for me.  I could do without their droppings, but it all goes with the territory.   Like the geese, which we have in great abundance; I like them, but boy do they leave a lot of reminders that they have been there.  Be careful where you step. 

    Speaking of geese.  One day as I was going into town, I notice about a 100 geese on the lane behind our store.  I have observed that they are in no rush to move out of the way of any vehicle that is trying to get through.  How, dare, they!  As I was in a feisty mood that morning, I just kept on going.  I guess I was driving about 15 miles an hour.  I did not know that geese could move that fast, wings out, running in all directions.  They were indignant over the fact that I did not let them keep me from my business, and let me know in no uncertain terms, what an upstart I was.  I am not sure geese can cuss, but who knows? I, of course, made sure that I would not run over any of them.  I like having them around.   I love seeing them with their young, walking along in a straight line.  I would of course stop for the younglings, I am not that insensitive, I think.  The coyotes help keep their numbers down, as well as the snapping turtles in our pond.  Once many years ago, I saw a string of young geese following their mum across the water, when suddenly one of them was pulled under, the rest did not even notice. 

    When I was a young monk, in the early 70’s, we had two swans.  While it is true that swans are beautiful birds on the water, on land, it is a different story.  They lumber along, and on land, their long necks with their head on top, look sort of like a serpent with legs. I know, showing my own issue here…I do like serpents well enough, just as long as they don’t look like swans on land.  They are also, to put it terms used by Pattie, “not nice”.  They used to chase our guest around, and I would think some children probably developed a phobia for them.  It was always a good idea to have bread with you so as to placate their unstable temperament. 

    One day I was down by the lake and one of the swans was eyeing me.  So I got a stick, a big strong one, and dared it to take one more step towards me.  Not sure if I would have actually hit it.  However, on land, they are big, mean, and not the beautiful swans we see on the lake.  In any case, we gave them to a park, and hopefully, they lived out their lives in peace, and not terrorizing too many people.  About me with the stick, the swan did back off. 

    I did have one beautiful experience with our swans, in 1972.  I was walking back to the Monastery, after work on our farm, which we had back then.  It was very foggy, so I was happy to not have too much sun on me.  Fog tends to muffle sound and as I was walking near the pond, I heard a subdued ripple on the water.  Then the fog gently parted, and one of the swans floated by in total silence.  I was overwhelmed, literally, by the beauty of the moment.  So I do like swans, and don’t like them as well, and comfortable with that inner contradiction.  I have lots of them.  Cats come to mind….beautiful creatures, but having one for a pet (!), nope.  To this day, I will think about that one moment, saved from oblivion, by beauty, silence, fog, and being caught off guard. 

    So Lord, here is to geese, swans (sort of), turtles (big time), pigeons, bullfrogs, lizards, and all critters, great, and small, yes, even cats.  Thank you for this life, though there is still more that I don’t understand, than I actually do, yet I do trust in your love and mercy towards all creation…..amen. --Br.MD




  4. Ieshia Sparks

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    Unknown scratch mark  happened while I was standing in the kitchen at my parents house talking to them and then I felt a burning sensation on my leg and look down and seen the scratch. 

  5. Tales from the Mist

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    Goddess of the Mist
    Latest Entry



    Born of the devil’s kiss, an aching in her soul

    her skin not clear but exquisitely marked

    for the devil liked her very much – did he

    Showering her, blanketing her from head to toe with hot, desiring kisses

    The kiss of life, the kiss of death

    leaving small, charcoal evidences behind wherever he touched

    like tiny bruises that went deeper than they appeared

    For they looked like shallow things, only they were much more profound

    sinking down to her very being

    And when as a child she wondered very much on the origin of the symbols

    and the implications

    Well, then her grandmother told her, “Those are devil kisses – he must like you very much!”

    So she lay in her bed at night, just a little sweaty and fearful; imagining...

    Would the devil himself show up; and did he love her?

    Later, through times of strife, she wished he would show up

    to explain a few things

    then again, maybe he did

    In the form of a cruel lover; revealing to her things like deceit, jealousy and revenge!

    Ah, but those are merely earthly things, she thinks…

    since she knows the devil must have more important occupations to fill his time

    And every now and then she can feel the scorching from deep within,

    The mark – an indicator and sign

    of something so much more

    And be it evil or benign

    it is there all the same

    as she looks out upon the world with a burning gaze 

    Beauty without; the devil within.


    © Goddess of the Mist


  6. When I first came to this forum, I would've described myself as a 'Spiritualist.' Someone who absolutely does believe there's some sort of 'spiritual' aspect to reality, but beyond that I didn't really know. Now I'm not so sure I know anything anymore...

    First let me give you some background info.

    I was born into a fundamentalist Christian home, indoctrinated in it from birth, and later became extremely devout in my teenage years. It wasn't until a year or so after high school that I slowly began to realize that the religion that I had devoted my entire life to up to that point was a huge lie. It wasn't an 'all of a sudden' thing. It was somewhat more gradual. I'd say it happened sorta fast, like a week or two. But it didn't just SNAP happen with some sort of 'epiphany'. It was a clear understanding of why exactly my religion was wrong. It wasn't that I discovered scientifically that 'there is no God/afterlife/soul/etc.' but that I discovered my religion was false. I know that this doesn't automatically mean the default position from there is atheism, but I did go from devout Christian to atheist, an here's why.

    My doubt came from reading a slightly more obscure atheist book, that took down Christianity by exposing the blatantly immoral and atrocious Bible passages that for some reason I failed to see while Christian. They also presented 10 reasons why they didn't believe God exists, and then upon going back and reading some other atheist blogs online, and watching some segments of the Atheist Experience on YouTube, I finally felt comfortable calling myself an atheist. I felt incredibly cheated for all of those wasted years of Christianity being wasted on a lie, and because of it I made a personal vow to always think independently and never just believe whatever I was told. To form my own opinions on things, and not just regurgitate whatever talking points were being fed to me from 'my side'. I made a vow to NEVER be conned again. Of course, it's nearly impossible for anyone to truly make that promise, given that we're all subject to being fooled at some point or another. But regardless, I just want you to understand where I'm coming from here. This is why I started to research the laws of logic and critical thinking skills, I read up on skepticism, and despite reading all of the most prominent New Atheist writings (the books by Sam Harris were my personal favorite) and keeping up with all of the most prominent atheist arguments on YouTube and various blogs, I still kept a certain degree of skepticism towards everything that I was reading myself.

    What I encountered, was the fact that there wasn't a single universal consensus amongst atheists on a multitude of issues. Even amongst the 'four horsemen' of New Atheism as they were dubbed (Richard Dawkins, Daniel Dennet, Christopher Hitchens, and Sam Harris). So in other words, it was up to me to research and study each and every individual issue itself, and form my own conclusions. So I started examining the individual claims made by many prominent atheists themselves, and trying to find out if their arguments were inherently sound.

    Now look... I'll admit, I'm not the most brilliant human being on the planet. I'm just an average dude who got average grades in school, with an overall average intelligence. If someone wants to mock and belittle me for it and call me 'stupid', then so be it. I'm just not gonna lie to myself and others and pretend to be some super-intelligent being who has it all figured out. I'm just an average human. So when I started spiraling down the rabbit hole here, things just got deeper and deeper and more and more complex; each somewhat answer bringing up a million more questions, etc. etc. I don't know complex philosophy, I don't understand complex astrophysics, I certainly don't understand quantum mechanics, neuroscience always leaves me with more questions than answers, and every attempt I've made at trying to understand this stuff has left me mentally exhausted with me no further closer any answers of my own. At the end of the day, I'm just not some brilliant Ph. D level scientist, and so I can't do as I promised myself and 'think independently' on every issue. I just don't understand this stuff, and even when I do understand it, I can't help but feel like there might be some other important details that I might be missing.

    All of this searching and trying to form my own opinions on such things, just left me exhausted, until I finally started to realize that if I as a regular atheist dude don't understand this stuff, then what's the likelihood that other atheists truly understand this stuff as well? What if the overwhelming majority of atheists out there simply think they know the answers to these questions just like I thought I knew when I was a Christian? What if these big shot atheist 'intellectuals' and scientists could be wrong on most of what they say? After all, there are many other scientists who aren't atheists and who have the same credentials as them, as well as many atheist scientists themselves who disagree on certain things amongst each other. I essentially learned skepticism from my atheism, but then I applied that very skepticism towards atheism itself. I didn't want my newfound atheism to become a substitute Christianity, where I end up having to rely on the words of scientists being correct in the same way that I had to rely on some pastor being correct.

    So I started venturing off from that point into other concepts I hadn't explored before, such as the paranormal etc. I was finally being able to fulfill the promise I made to myself by 'forming my own opinions' on things and thinking independently. I didn't belong to any particular specific 'group' or mindset. I thought for myself. And for a while there I had actually convinced myself that there most likely was indeed something spiritual to this reality (despite not having a single clue what that is) and so I called myself a 'Spiritualist'. Essentially, I was saying "there's most likely something more to the world, then any of us truly know or comprehend, even the most intelligent among us." I still hold to that philosophy now to some extent, but now days I'm just not quite sure about that either... Now days, I'm simply an agnostic. I've come to terms with the fact that I just don't know. And I'm content with that. That doesn't mean that I don't find Christianity and every other religion out there to be objectively false, because I do. In fact that's one thing I am indeed sure of since it's easy to disprove it as absolute bunk. However, I've heard and read arguments and seen evidence on both sides in regards to whether or not there's any sort of afterlife, whether we have souls, whether 'spirits' exist, etc. and I don't think those things are on the same level as fairies and unicorns. That just appears to be a dogmatic dismissal to me, since I don't see or understand how science has definitively proven such things to be false.

    You guys can argue that "I just don't understand the science of it" and that might very well be a fair assessment. I don't understand it. I've tried to. I really have. I just honestly don't understand enough about cognitive neuroscience to be able to determine that there ABSOLUTELY is no such thing as the human soul. I don't understand enough about the complexities of the universe to be able to determine without a shadow of a doubt that there ABSOLUTELY is no afterlife like 'realm', or that there is no conscious supreme 'entity' like thing out there somewhere. There's no way for me to determine that without simply trusting the words of some Ph. D level scientist, which may very well be correct on the topic, but may also be incredibly wrong. I don't know, because I can't validate their findings for myself and do their work for them to find out. I'm just not that smart. And y'know, maybe this is all just beyond my intellectual ability to comprehend. Again, make fun of me if you want, but I'm just trying to humbly express my honest and sincere struggles with attempting to understand the nature of the universe. If someone reading this does understand it, then I commend you. Really, I do. But as for me, I just don't. I've spent years and years pouring out countless hours of study to comprehend this stuff, but I just don't. I'm like a gerbil trying to comprehend advanced calculus. It's just beyond my intellectual capacity to understand. And that's okay. The gerbil can't help it, and neither can I.

    In summary: I've heard and read the arguments for and against almost every issue, and have studied these issues in-depth with a fine-toothed comb, and am no more closer to understanding the truth then I was to begin with. So now I'm an Agnostic. And quite frankly, this whole topic just wears me out now to the point where I just don't care anymore. I don't know, and I don't care. I'm an Agnostic Apatheist. Take it or leave it.


  7. Pedantic Babylon

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    Days pass by, and if we’re keyed in to public and world affairs we can daily feel the squeeze, like a wet rag twisted, twisted until all the moisture is bled out.  We’re getting used to it again, though I know I’ve seen this all before, rolled out in much the same way.

    Again we observe the profit of a few supported by the suffering of many.  The aggressive and violent impoverishment of others.  International affairs conducted like a football game, with the respective populations cheering from remote bleachers, while contentedly ignoring the death, theft, lies, and hypocrisy writ large across the faraway bombed out cities but cunningly, cynically deleted from the media’s headlines.  And human society seems to love it, loves its chance at ‘winning’, decade after decade, century after century.  John Daido Loori, founding abbot of the Zen Mountain Monastery, once commented simply:  “Yes.  It is hopeless.”  However, in spite of his judgment, he never gave up hope.

    Sadly I have not his well of compassionate objectivity.  In spite of the beautiful creations humanity has bestowed on this planet, in spite of humanity’s amazing intelligence and profound consciousness, its vicious destructiveness and heartless cruelty bewilders my sense of equanimity; I feel we have betrayed the planet and all its living forms.  We are, collectively, a menace and unworthy of any place at Gaia’s table. 

    bodies-pile-dresden.jpg.d1ab7a71720d2f53115193a7a04cfa0d.jpg  Dresden, Germany

      Yeats’s perspective was far more subtle and complex than mine.  He’d lived through numerous international conflicts, including two world wars, as well as lingering, fluctuating struggles for Irish independence from Britain, which became a terrible civil war early in the twentieth century; and he was superbly informed about mankind’s hunger for the folly of war throughout history.  It has been said that poetry is an artform of language that conveys meaning which prose cannot.  C. Day-Lewis as Poet Laureate of England described the art of poetry as “the saying of the unsayable.”  So I will comment no further (since my words are weak) and allow Yeats’s lines to reach you, in all their uniquely human depth of meaning.  There are many war poems, these are just a few.  If you are inclined, please feel free to add other examples in the comment section.   Namaste.

                                      The Valley of the Black Pig

                                                The dews drop slowly and dreams gather: unknown spears
                                                suddenly hurtle before my dream-awakened eyes,
                                                and then the clash of fallen horsemen and the cries
                                                of unknown perishing armies beat about my ears.
                                                We who still labour by the cromlech on the shore,
                                                the grey cairn on the hill, when day sinks drowned in dew,
                                                being weary of the world's empires, bow down to you,
                                                master of the still stars and of the flaming door.



                                        Meditations in Time of Civil War  (VI)

                                                 The bees build in the crevices
                                                 of loosening masonry, and there
                                                 the mother birds bring grubs and flies.
                                                 My wall is loosening; honey-bees,
                                                 come build in the empty house of the stare.

                                                 We are closed in, and the key is turned
                                                 on our uncertainty; somewhere
                                                 a man is killed, or a house burned,
                                                 yet no clear fact to be discerned:
                                                 come build in the empty house of the stare.

                                                 A barricade of stone or of wood;
                                                 some fourteen days of civil war;
                                                 last night they trundled down the road
                                                 that dead young soldier in his blood:
                                                 come build in the empty house of the stare.

                                                 We had fed the heart on fantasies,
                                                 the heart's grown brutal from the fare;
                                                 more substance in our enmities
                                                 than in our love; O honey-bees,
                                                 come build in the empty house of the stare.



                                       The Second Coming

                                                  Turning and turning in the widening gyre
                                                  the falcon cannot hear the falconer;
                                                  things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
                                                  mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
                                                  the blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
                                                  the ceremony of innocence is drowned;
                                                  the best lack all conviction, while the worst
                                                  are full of passionate intensity.

                                                  Surely some revelation is at hand;
                                                  surely the Second Coming is at hand.
                                                  The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
                                                  when a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
                                                  troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
                                                  a shape with lion body and the head of a man,
                                                  a gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
                                                  is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
                                                  reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.

                                                  The darkness drops again; but now I know
                                                  that twenty centuries of stony sleep
                                                  were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
                                                  and what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
                                                  slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?


    raqqa.JPG.4d0ba143dff955a4df093283c20dab3f.JPG         Raqqa, Syria                                          

  8. So it seems with almost 2 months passing that I still am unable to post status updates and that from my side some of my posts, though still in my stuff, does not want to properly appear. It is so nice to see that I can barely do anything anymore. I truly loved this site, but now it just seems to hinder things. This was such a great place to come and express things and updates things about my life, the very thing I had wanted this page to be, but apparently because I didn't want to make blog posts, made posts to long, and promoted a separate page of mine to be able to see the longer posts that kept being taken down, I am unable to do anything but type here. So really I may just do update posts every couple months as I have no other need for this site if I am not able to make status posts anymore or have this page be what I had intended for it to be so ya guess that is life. People don't like when you do stuff they don't want happening and have to be d**** about it all.

    ~Blessed Be, Damon~

  9. Now that I'm older, here is what I have discovered --

    I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
    My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
    I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
    It's funny, but I don't remember being absent minded.
    All reports are in ... Life is now officially unfair.
    If all is not lost, where is it????
    It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
    Some days you are the dog. Some days you are the hydrant.
    I wish the buck stopped here, I could use a few.
    Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
    Accidents in the back seat cause . . . kids.
    It is hard to make a comeback when you have never been anywhere.
    The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you are in the bathroom.
    If God had wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my knees.
    When I am finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?
    It is not hard to meet expenses . . . they are everywhere.
    The only differences between a rut and a grave are the depth and one has the ends kicked out.
    These days I spend a lot of time thinking about the here after.....
    I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I am here after.......
    If I wake up in the morning and nothing hurts, it may be a good indication that I have died during the night.

  10. "We are not authorized to deny that there are creatures in other stars that are completely different from ours."
    Cardinal Nicolaus Cusanus (1401 - 1464)

    "The Baptism of Christ" Aert De Gelder, 1710, Fitzwilliam Museum, Cambridge, UK.
    In today's world, where every tenth becomes a prophet with all the followers of the crowd, and every third claims to have seen the UFOs who gave him the mission of saving the world, there is a need for Christians to talk about the UFO phenomenon. Who are those aliens ? What extremes are taking on the church in this matter? Let's try to look at what's happening in the world at the same time and how different Christian communities react, what they are talking about and what their current classmates are doing. Who are those aliens, also known as extrateriastrials? What extremes are taking on the church in this matter? Let's try to look at what's happening in the world at the same time and how different Christian communities react, what they are talking about and what their current "brothers and sisters" are doing.
    A small brief on the UFO phenomenon
    The UFOs - unrecognized flying objects, in 1947 the businessman and flyer Kenneth Arnold were "baptized" with flying saucers, as a phenomenon known to the public for a long time. Specific reports of light in the sky appeared in the media from the second half of the 19th century. but their opinion that references to flying saucers can be found in ancient art, starting with the signs of the Naska Valley and the Egyptian pyramid drawings and finishing with Renaissance paintings. There are also those who believe that the UFO is spoken in various cultures and scriptures, from the Bible to the Vedas and Talmud, not forgetting the legends of mystical Dogon tribes about the arrivals of Syria. It is not necessary to tell the story of the phenomenon itself or to go into the discussions as much as contacts with the extraterrestrials and the light in the sky are real.
    The main strangeness is not that people say they've seen something or have been communicating with someone, but the news that the aliens come from outer space itself. It's usually messianic messages that are received, as witnesses say, directly or through astral contact. A frequent contact person feels an unceasing desire to announce to the whole world that the time of adversity is approaching or that the aliens have put their probe in their heads. As a rule, contact takes place like this: meeting, kidnapping, warning to mankind, the message of salvation or destruction, the contact person receives the mesmerizing task of reporting this "good news" to all humanity. So the contactees publishing "good news of the aliens" no worse than did Christians of the first centuries.
    20th century In the first half, it was believed that space enthusiasts arrived from Mars or Venus, at least from there, was the radio station of the Herbert George Wells novel "The World Wars", which caused a universal panic in New York in 1938, when people fled from the city after the release of the show and hid for days on the outskirts of Mars Invasion. The testimony of contacts of that time is evidenced by the same. Later, after expanding to the astronomical knowledge of the universe, and especially after J. Gagarin, the alien homeland started to move away. Until recently, they separated from nearby or famous stars, mostly from sirius constellation, or from planets that were supposedly to those stars. At this time, aliens have moved to live in other galaxies or in star systems that our scientists simply do not know. Normally, such information can not be verified, and the one that is available is usually simply misinformation: the stranger's pawn is from the planet Parasirijus, which is located near the Earth and is about four light years away. What can the coordinates of the alien homeland say? Only so much that it is not known what the place is closer than the nearest star, the Kentauro Proxima. Such and even more misinformation occurs very often.
    Another oddity, necessarily accompanying the UFO phenomenon, is conspiracy theories. The reader could certainly see some of them in the "X files" series. The most popular "theories" (Area 51, the Roswell catastrophe, men in black and others) usually reveal the basic idea that the government hides from the public the fact that aliens really exist and that contacts have long been established and various projects are being implemented using alien technologies. Sometimes these conspiracy theories are also mixed in by the fact that the Vatican goes with the government, because he really knows that there is no God, and that the aliens are prototypes of all gods, only to deceive us.

    Paleocontact - Aliens become gods

    The main idea of one of the most prominent supporters of paleocontact, Erich von Däniken, is already quite widespread among pseudo-archeology and pseudo-history, saying that the aliens had visited the Earth on an ancient day, people supported them, began to worship them, and thus religions, including Christianity, arose. Eduard von Däniken in one book, "Raumfarth im Altertum", describes quite well how the alienss contacted the archaic man, as the first representative of the homo-sapiens was probably not from the planet Earth. It is also mentioned that the description of the alien spacecraft is found in Ezechiel's vision. Unfortunately, various religious or pseudoreligic groups are also getting such ideas. Ufonoates, who have became messiahs of humanity, have taught and even created it, are often reflected in the 20th century. The founder of the first organization, called Rael, interacted with the alien who "scientifically" explained to him the Bible. The founder of the second organization, Vladimir Ivanovich Skubaev, shed "The Gospel according to the White Lotus", which describes an alternative world history, in which the incoming person from the same sirius constellation became a teacher of mankind. Let's not forget the followers of such titles as the Urantia Book and the Scientologists founded by Lafayette Ronald Hubbard who were also quite capable of teaching their Jesus-flying hand-held spacecraft, and yet the abundance of others. Christians find this funny or blasphemous.
    Erich von Däniken's fellow friend Giorgio Tsoukalos, they both call themselves ufologists. They are well known in "ancient aliens" series.

    In the world, religious sects appear daily. Perhaps the reader remembers organization the "Heavenly Gate" in the last decade of the last century. His chief Marshall Hertt Applewhitte said that the aliens had been sent to bring mankind to heaven because, in his view, Earth had to be eradicated in the year 2000. The organization of the visa expired in 1997 when Heilly-Bop Comets approached the Earth. The whole group of believers "flew away" in a spacecraft which was "hiding" on the comet's tail. Jesus himself piloted, in that occasion they took a lethal dose of barbiturate and putted plastic bags on their heads.

    It is a pity, but there are always people who tend to rely on various strange, "scientific" or innovative Biblical teachings. The admirers of Däniken Paleocontact's mind-blowing ideas forget that their multiplication often distorts the facts and raises ideas that do not have a real confirmation, but only his personal guesses. One of the flagship statements could be the fact that the spacecraft, the captain of which was named Yahweh, appeared to the Jews. It is perfectly normal for such people that Moses, seeing the descending spaceship, thought for his misunderstanding that it was a burning bush, that Ezechiel saw the spacecraft at the Kebara River, forgetting that there was a crowd of people who did not see this spacecraft, and that Jesus ( spacecraft physician ) accidentally left on Earth. From then he is a , distributing dry food. The proponents of Däniken's ideas, Raelians, followers of Heaven's Gate and others often distort the Bible's text, distorts the text from context and ignore any historical critical approach, seeing aliens in any place. What to do? It you can't live without faith.

    Usually such ideas are more dangerous for people who do not have a clear religious identity, even though such cases occur even when human pastors suddenly begin to tell how they interacted with the aliens and how they taught them the true faith. I am referring to the events of 1994 in Lithuania, when priest Petras Zabiela (renamed, but known to those concerned with the phenomenon of UFOs) has claimed to have been abducted by aliens who showed him his temple in 1992, explained that they live without sin . The priest spoke on television and in the newspapers. The message of the religious aliens has not spread to the world. Surprisingly, such contactees usually tend to to identify aliens within gods and without any paleocontact theory. For them, aliens become angels or equated with gods. Here is the danger to christian or other religions.

    When the aliens become almighty gods, salvation becomes unnecessary, and religion is meaningless, because could some random spacecraft physician (Jesus), who did not know anything on the Earth, save the humanity, if his words were falsely conveyed?

    E. Norman goes even further than Däniken. According to him, the UFOs are sent to earth in our time, in order to transmit God through them to tell truth about ourselves. The tendencies of both authors' affirmations are felt in many ufo-religious movements.

    Such pictures are often interpreted according to personal ideology

    Such Bible interpretations have nothing to do with traditional education or traditional religion. Disregarding the historical and theological context, the facts are distorted, and the Bible is perceived as the author needs. Paradoxal, but not traditional Christians, writers of this kind begin, diligently study the scriptures.

    Religion or science?

    One of the mistakes made by Christians regarding the UFOs is to see this phenomenon only as a religious phenomenon or as a danger to religion as such, rejecting any other possibility. Usually Christians associate faith with aliens unequivocally with magic, occultism, and sects. This is evident in the reading of the popular Christian literature on this subject. Also feature films such as M. Night Shyamalan's Signs (2002) or Alex Proyas Knowing (2009) or Steve Spielberg's Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977), which have a great influence on the alien beliefs and the recognition of religion, Spiritual issues are dealt with in one way or another. The Signs clergyman, played by Mel Gibson, fights with aliens, guided by the prophecy given to a dying wife, has a very bright eschatological and messianic mood. Spielberg's masterpiece has become almost a canonical icon of ufology experience.

    Of course, we don't have to reject the fact that the UFO sects and even the manifestations of magic are quite common in ufology. Such sects appear quite often. Thanks to "God", not everyone ends as sadly as the Heavenly Gate Group. However, due to the fault of such movements, people who try to evaluate the phenomenon of UFOs more or less scientifically, are Christians in the same way as devilish sectants. Independent researchers such as Randles, B. Hopkins. His books tend to shake their research in any religious context. Again, the level of scholarship in their work is another issue, but we will not discuss it, emphasizing only that not everything related to the aliens and the UFO's is the object of religion.

    Scientific research projects such as SETI (Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence) are often forgotten, which, although some scholars are skeptical about being condemned to failure or meaningless, are based on purely scientific methods and are engaged in life forms, especially those who think on other planets , searches. The SETI program is fully committed to isolating itself from the UFO phenomenon, and does not fully grasp what might be happening in the Earth, and they are interested in the distant cosmos. Programs such as SETI have already made a number of discoveries. In 2007 Gliese 581 C was discovered for Earth-like planet, and more planets would be discovered in future (just a guessing). There are already hundreds of planets circling around other stars that have already been found. Perhaps Giordan Bruno was right in the 16th century. saying that on other planets there are also intelligence creatures?

    Demonization of extraterrestrials

    The real or false alien invasion of the planet of the Earth has affected most of humanity. This phenomenon was studied by special services, investigated by scholars, described by fantasy writers, and was also debated by theologians of various Christian denominations such as Presbyterian Barry Downing or Evangelist Billy Graham. The first aliens considered the divine act of baptism, the second thought that the UFO's were nothing else but the angels' way of appearing to man of this age. By the way, the same other authors also talk about demons. Such theological sophism raised the idea that the UFO's appearances are one of the signs of eschatological times. Angels - the aliens became prophets of the end of time, so the end ir near... Of course, then there were also opposing opinions. Christian fundamentalists, claiming that the Bible no longer mentions the civilizations of other planets, began to assert that the nature of aliens can only be demonic. So the UFO's and the aliens are reunited with eschatology, only this time they prophesy not the quick coming of Christ, but of the Antichrist.

    Some aliens species often claim to be evil, for example "little greys".

    The demonization of the aliens has been accompanied by this phenomenon since the "cause" has been named, that uncertain light in the sky is the manifestation of aliens from space. Current ufologists also see UFOs' manifestations in the old fashion and the old texts, but the people of that time considered various light in heaven as demonic and divine signs, the current Christian tends to see only demonic manifestations in it. This comes not only from the perception of the phenomenon itself, but also from the denominations , demonology and various teachings of spiritual theology. One Church takes over from one another, and the original idea seems to be worshiping with a growing force of Christianity. The main demons of the alien phenomenon are a large part of Protestant denominations, such as the well-known Word of the Faith. By the way, the Orthodox Church holds the same opinion. The Roman Catholic Church is also at the same time undergoing some of the ideas of alien demonism, although it is often only the insights of individual priests. There are published books in which the UFO phenomenon is uniquely associated with magic and occultism. An example of such literature could be the Enzo Bianco brochure Magic. Although it is not true, but I believe, "which essentially discusses the phenomenon of magic, but one section is dedicated to the UFO cult. Such books are usually relatively poor, both Catholic and Protestant. As a rule, such publications tend to recall the propaganda literature of Soviet times with a great deal of inaccuracies, attacks and personalities. As far as it is to be noted, the hierarchs of the Catholic Church on this issue are not inclined to make such bold conclusions by attaching demons to the aliens. However, various types of ufologists quotes these texts with various enchantments. It is, of course, strange that churches that disagree on the Bible and the questions of Christ's teaching become so united and identical in the mind of an enemy, unknown or real.

    Since the Revelation of Aliens does not speak, so the Bible, translated through personal insights, becomes the main criterion for evaluating the question of UFO sightings and abductions. In principle, Christians, in an attempt to support the demonicity of aliens in the Bible, behave in the same way as those who are trying to prove the UFO's reality. The main arguments are often quite abstract, but for some theologians this is enough to see the similarities between the aliens and the demons of both types of subjects: night, confusion, distancing from belief, depression, fear, revelations manifestly contradictory to the Bible, violence from aliens / demons, sexual intercourse relationship with succubus/aliens. To a large extent, all these contacts can really be found in the biblical texts, but in this way we can stray into sofism and complete miss-interpretation of texts, and then we would act in the same way as the pseudo-scientist Erich von Däniken. But the path of lies is not a good Christian choice.
    Anyway... on the aliens question are interested some Christian denominations. In 1980, the United States established the Church of the Movement for Resistance to Aliens near the famous Roswell Town. It is a Protestant fundamentalist community that provides psychological and spiritual assistance to victims of aliens. Interestingly, members of the community teach their clients how it is possible to interrupt abductions by means of prayer - this can be done by ordering Jesus' name.

    Of course, opposition to resistance is not only among the Christians. Among the interested ufologists, a well-known person is V2 who, for free, distributes anti-Tactical stickers depicting an alien's head, crossed red. V2 invites all humanity to connect on Earth againt the aliens. The Savior identity is not known.

    So, any fight against aliens is essentially a recognition that they exist. Christians, who have come to such a battle, often do not even suspect themselves of it, announce an alien good news.

    Vatican and the aliens

    After the Second Vatican meeting in the Catholic Church, when a charismatic renewal movement emerged, quite a large part of the faithful laymen and clergy began to interpret many aspects of the functioning of the Holy Spirit based on Protestant theology. Such a lack of practical theology in the Catholic Church has influenced a relatively large part of the Catholic view of the UFO phenomenon.  Aliens to believers, like Protestant communities, have become unequivocally demons from other planets. However, a significant proportion of Catholic theologians and hierarchs do not lead to the demonization of UFO's. By evaluating this phenomenon in the light of revelation, they also do not forget scientific access to the question. Quite often, one or another representative of the Church speaks of extraterrestrial forms, but this is usually only their personal opinion; the media bubble is blowing it up, as happened in 2008 by the Director of the Vatican Observatory Jose Gabriel Funes S.J., expressing his opinion on extraterrestrial forms of life, and the media conveying it as the official position of the Vatican.

    To this date, one of the most prominent personalities among the Catholic hierarchs is the Pontifical theologian and exorcist monsignor Corrado Balducci, who, unfortunately, died a couple of years ago. He was a Vatican's affiliate on UFO issues. This is most often quoted by theologian in ufologist's works. Father Balducci often spoke on ufology issues on television or in the press. Many times, a statement was made from his lips that the Church closely monitors the UFO phenomenon in the world and is trying to find out what that is. Balducci categorically opposed the demons of aliens, based on the fact that not all phenomena are inexplicable. Some of them are mere meteorological or psychological phenomena, but another part that can not be reasonably explained in any way is not necessarily spiritual. So, in order for the Church to speak  in authoritative in the issue of the UFO's, it needs to know what it takes to deal with, because attacking the demonization of an unaccountable phenomenon is unlikely to happen, but the second witch hunt wave may begin.

    There are quite a few serious theologians in the Catholic Church who are trying to reflect on the UFO phenomenon on the basis of today's academic achievements and theology. One of them is the Polish theologian Jacek Salij OP. Such theologians are often guided by the New Testament quotation saying: "He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation, for it creates all that is in heaven and earth, whether visible or invisible, or thrones, affinity, or principality, or authority - all created through him and for him. "(Col. 1.15-16). These words of Paul show them that there is a possibility that God, being a great Creator whose wisdom and power are infinite, could have created the inhabitants of other planets, including those who intelligent.

    Thus, although there is no official teaching on the in the Catholic Church, it is a matter for concern. Of course, any theological reflection on the morality of the aliens and the possibility of being baptized is still only at the level of fantasy novels, but if it ever happens that extraterrestrial life forms has actually visited/visiting all this time on Earth, then some kind of foundation will be laid for future theologians.

    Deep within the psyche of all humans lives a desire for recognition of one’s existence and prowess.  In order to fulfill this desire within mankind, one finds the first step to position for recognition of who and what we are here in Time/Space or physicality.  That step is the act of leveraging all physical aspects for power and control in every event sequence that we perceive and participate with in life. Thus we begin our learning here in this physicality.  The first step is one of moving thought that manifests into an act designed for power over the other.  The Me (you) view all outside or external entities or material objects as the Other.  Put simply — there is Me (you) and there is the Other.  To the Me, all outside persons, things, whatever — are the Other.  The Me competes with the Other for power and control within the realm of Lawful-existence or what some call the Essence (Laws of Physics or Nature).

    The Essence is also considered the Universe.  It is where the Me and the Other reside in a quantum existence full of laws and forces that leverage us by its own making or being.  Some call this realm God.  No matter how you term this inexplicable being or state of existence, you are here taking part in a drama that no one person can explain.  You, the Me, really do not know if the Other really exists, but if it does not exist, do you exist?  Without the Other, would you have the data to communicate back to you in feedback, that you exist?

    The Void is the Ultimate unknowable, yet it may be non-existence.  You may never know the meaning of the Void as the Me.  The self-oriented being or person can not know the Void, for it is deep, dark and undetectable to most minds.  Selfish persons who desire recognition are really looking for reinforcement that they exist.  Selfishness causes non-learning and pushes us closer to the edge of the Void.  Without attention from the Other, we have no worldly data to feedback on the reality of our existence.  The only way we can ever learn our way in the universe is to become unselfish and reach out to the Other to learn from all of them.  To join the Other is to become unselfish.  This is what some call Love or Human Coherency.

    To Love the Other as we Love the Me is to gain knowledge on the Essence and the Void.  The more we share knowledge with the Other, the more we see of life.  An unselfish person soon learns that he is the combination of the Me and the Other.

    Leveraging for Power in life means that the Me will use Violence, Wealth, Religion, Knowledge, Beauty, or Love to gain control over the Other, or seek recognition from the Other.  There is really only one selfless means of communicating with the Other.  It is Love or shared coherency.  All other means are elements that invoke the ancient law of consequence.  The law of consequence is also known as the law of cause and effect… what goes around, comes around.  Because the law of consequence is leveraged into existence by selfish acts by the Me for his/her own gain (in effect saying that the Other does not exist therefore negating the Me’s own existence).

    Look into the eye of the Other and you will see the mirror of the self. No person exists beyond the data of his/her own senses.  Without the feedback of the other’s activities, there would be no data to see, hear, taste, smell, touch or examine with the brain or the sixth sense.  The seventh sense is intuition which few beings develop unless they are unselfish and understand the power of the law of consequences.  In your mind dances all the data of the Other.  Without the knowledge gained of the outside world, you would be nothing.  You are what you learn.  You are an accumulation of all your life experiences.  You are the Other replicated by leveraged experiences reinforced over and over again. Wisdom is gained when you learn to Love the Other and Life becomes a Passion for harmony and continued becoming through visualization in Mind.

    To move deeper we must visualize this reality as a matrix or arena of participating experiences.  Our Universe is like a record, tape, disc, or some other storage device for information.  Only it is much more.  It is a continuum that is open-ended.  It is everywhere and everything and it is in a state of durational change.  It is enfolded in a super holographic moiré matrix of multiple dimensions that act as one or many depending upon the informational flux.  It is like an atmosphere of mental assemblages of feedback loops that appear to be its construction only in that its emphasis localizes in beings who become.  This universe is hierarchical in design with lower level entities not totally knowing of higher-level beings, yet the reverse is not true.  They know us, or things could not have been built.

    Informational connections are like sense organs.  The more information and observation (feedback) the more complex the assemblage of localized forms. The more gestalt or whole the feedback loops of connections, the higher the being and more active is the work.  The Universe is metaphorical in that like-breeds-like in evolutional information constantly burgeoning. Carriers, or entities feed through themselves growing through various stages that appear as birth, life and death to the localized environment but to the higher stages it is only process of information toward ever-higher levels.

    Opening up new feedback loops amounts to adding new information, thus expanding the localization into new realms of understanding.  As expansion grows, human language, because it is linear, becomes a curse for communication on higher levels where synchronistic hologestalt meaning is understood.  This language (meaning) is metaphorical and multifaceted, requiring a mind or lens (localized brain) of the same interface design. Growth and decay, which is like withdrawing from a stage of development, depends on the quality of information that mingles with other information to create tools for leveraging information. Therefore, we find ourselves in a Spiritual Dimensional Presence expressing as ALWAYS.

    Dimensional Presence is a condition where an entity mentally cognizes or thinks that he/she is present in existence or reality by discerning sensual stimuli (atmosphere, environs, information and things) that suggest he/she is alive due to the feedback of instantaneous information to the Carrier’s mentality or mind. All sensory data gives the feeling that they exist reinforced by the constant input of past history. Memory is key to the feeling of progressing into potential. One wonders if such a presence has built from a condition of previously suggested as Always. Such a condition of eternally existing as a mentality in many states of expression is who and what we are here in Time/Space. Dimensional Presence coalesces via some means of manifestation into a package of informational dynamics that moves into and through a materializing state supported by an organizational apparatus that directs echeloned dissipation of preplanned articulation. To be requires preparation system/s of established instigators and expressers that can methodically synthesize consistently through a framework of echeloned laws and actions off those means of

    We are in awe of being “vehicularly” created in order to experience physicality! To build our minds through physically doing and learning is worthy of the process of existence! The expanse of creation is directly proportional to the ability to comprehend space beyond time and build infrastructures in the mental reference plane. Our minds fly to new challenges around every corner and beyond every cloud! We ride the duality of holospirited light whereby our power ignites purposeful energy for magically traversing here!

    Mind pervades the known echelons of dimensional space/time hidden in the universal fabric of existence! Mind is in evidence everywhere as design shows its prowess through its very interface with reality! It’s logic and reason is evident even in its complex incongruity. Mind understands that chaos is unperceived unity when speed factors take actions beyond human understanding thereby joining the universal macro-sphere. Learning Chaos requires deep yet speedy concentration. Those of us who are highly advanced know chaos and use it to our advantage in the Universal Macro-sphere.

    The Universal Macro-sphere is a realm not discerned by the mundane and flippant. It is the deciphering of the secret messages of the entire scope of the info-scape or the universe and the dimensional Akashic Realms — where its conditions allow one to see beyond the self. The stratospheric relational held in the very landscape of the Earth holds the secret of the driving force of the unseen, moving mind. The reading of the striations and the very scratches of an aftermath from reality, show the history of device impact and movement here in time space. One must know the engineering required in this traversing experience.

    Examining the data held in the echelonic realms gives us the entire scope of mentality whereby the essence of being resides. So many forget via hastening their love of pleasure and adulation to cloud their intellect thereby not attaining their mission‘s duties. We should be totally amazed toward awe that we get to be here at all…

    Not that one is, but that whereby Is, is. Thus is the Crux of Being and Becoming.



  12. Jimmy

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    Paranormal activity in my house is starting to become a thing of the norm around here. Im not sure what i want from this post, but i do want to share some of the things that have transpired since last winter, maybe hear an outside opinion. So the strange thing about all this, is that everything seems to only happen in one room of the house, the living room, but also, only seems to happen when there are a number of people around to witness. It is a rarity that anything happens when I'm alone. I guess I'll share one story, the one that seems the hardest to explain. My buddies and i were in my living room, facing the TV, with our backs toward the entrance of the room. We have hardwood floors so footsteps are more defined. But as we watch TV, we hear footsteps fast approaching behind us, but they made a slapping noise on the floor, as if somebody was barefoot. I turn, because, there are other people in my house. The noise wasnt even a concern initially. But i turn back and simultaneously get hit in the face by a light breeze, one you would feel as somebody quickly passes by you. The footsteps continued on past me into a wall. I turn to my friend next to me, who i know realize has tears rolling down his face asking "you just felt that too?" My buddies on the other side of the room, frozen in fear, not able to put words together of what we all just witnessed. I was never a believer of ghosts. It all seemed a little like quakery. But there is no denying now, that something is out there. Ive never felt comfortable in my own home since that night 

  13. StarMountainKid
    Latest Entry

    Recently I have received instructions from The Adept Zondor, King of the Dwarf People of Mnomomopolous, advising me to safeguard my psychic powers. I must admit, my psychic powers have mysteriously been on the wane lately. The Adept Zondor told me of a conspiracy by unknown paranormal Cosmic entities are determined to suck up all the paranormal energy in the universe to increase their own metaphysical powers.

    Actually, I did have a premonition about this situation. It was a sort of déjà vu experience in reverse. I had the feeling that I hadn’t been somewhere before, but that I will be there in the future, and then I’ll recognize it. This has put me on edge lately, as you can imagine.
    I also had a synchronistic experience. I had my palm read. I usually don’t go in for palm reading as I consider this a too physical exponent of psychic abilities, but I was worried after all these unnerving telepathic experiences. The result of the Palmist was, I would soon be contacted by someone who was an exponent of necrology and an interpreter of ancient runes, and this person would introduce me to a Spiritual Master who would relate further specific information.

    The Palmist also told me I would soon meet a tall, dark stranger, and to watch out for women who buy their clothes at Walmart or wear too much makeup.

    At any rate, this Spiritual Master would reveal an ancient prophecy relating to the Oracle of Thesphus, whatever that is. You see, this is the problem I’ve been worried about: I don’t understand any of this stuff. Well, except for The Adept Zondor, King of the Dwarf People of Mnomomopolous, who I’ve known since childhood. See, when I was about twelve years old He appeared unrepentantly in my mother’s garden during a thunderstorm. It seems he had had an emergency landing. Somehow his astral projector had become attuned to random lightening strikes. I think he fixed that problem later, but I’m not sure.

    Well, Zondor and I immediately hit it off. It was synergistic. Also, we both had a fascination for cryptozoology and the more frightening aspects of shadow people and black-eyed children, and we both admitted we look with trepidation under our beds at night before we go to sleep. Funnily enough, we also had read and enjoyed the obscure, Professor Melman’s “Encyclopedia of Psudo-Mythic Entities, Bio-Psychic-Anomalies and Precognition As It Applies To Telepathic Empathy and Remote Viewing”. A hefty tome, indeed, and unusual for two strangers to have read this rare and singular volume. I believe this is not mere coincidence, as Zondor explained it as an example of mutual and personal synchronicity.

    Well, as I was saying, The Adept Zondor related that these mysterious and secret entities are collecting psychic vibrations for their own personal use and power. This frightens me, I must admit. This is because, if it is a real conspiracy, we all know conspiracies are always evil in intent. I have never known a conspiracy to be benevolent in nature. So I live in fear. I mean, who wants their psychic abilities drained off by some strange and mysterious secret society, like the Mormons, Shriners and Freemasons, for instance?

    I’m just saying, we who have the psychic gift and are attuned to the metaphysical and paranormal should be on the alert. I must therefore advise astral travelers to beware of unforeseen detours that may be lurking unnoticed. There are malevolent forces about, perhaps emanating false vibrations as an evil web to catch unsuspecting voyagers on the astral plane.

    Out of body experiences may have to be curtailed for a while as well until this mystery is cleared up. We all want to get safely back into our bodies, right? Perhaps for a while we should just install mirrors on our bedroom ceilings.

    Clairvoyants may have already picked up some of these distortions in the Cosmic Consciousness. All information of these anomalies should be psychically reported to The Adept Zondor, King of the Dwarf People on Mnomomopolous. This now is the Celestial Clearing House for such information, even if one considers these intimations only rumor, gossip between local palmists and fortune tellers, or even hearsay among alchemists and pseudo-scientists. One can not be too careful.

    Be ever on the alert.

  14. In days past came the moons full light of hunting.. the suns kiss on gardens and paths to be cleared and anew. Now comes the time when the winds travel round, the honey and butter is set out... the blackbird sings and the tender blossoms of first and last kiss close tonight...

    The time of the betweens is come on.. those gossamer moons, gloaming moments, golden times, white-hot strikes is on... now comes the twilight of pounding hoofs and paws.

    Upon this first warm kiss of scent upon the air comes more.

    Now comes the traveling hours. The twixt..

  15. If I add two of the things I was shown, this is what I come up with.


  16. More than six hundred miraculous healings have been reported in Medjugorje since the first apparitions. It is about documented healings for which after the scientific theological investigation there has been no cause other than the supernatural and the miraculous. In addition to these healings, there are thousands of testimonies that are healed both spirit and body, and which are not recorded. One of the particularly touching testimonies of Medjugorje is that of American Arthur Boyle from Hingham near Boston who came to Medjugorje near death.


    Continue:  https://mysticpost.com/2017/09/600-documented-miraculous-healings-at-medjugorje-and-the-astonishing-case-of-arthur-boyle/

  17. Stumbling through life with Hank

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    What if polititions weren't elected. What if they were conscripted. Kinda like when those famous words were uttered; "Ask not what your country country can do for you, rather what you can do for your country". What if every one had to serve a term in office. Names could be drawn from a computer that match people's skills to a particular posting. All done randomly with the only caveat being you have to be qualified to do the job. That way the cream would be skimmed from the top instead of the bottom of the bucket.

         Lets face facts. Most people in politics today are in it for them themselves. It's easy for them to get elected because no one in their right mind would want the job. Pick the best from your population and you get the best representation. A good non political example is the Switzerland and Israel. In order to own a firearm you must first serve in your countries military. Make great sense.

    Applying this to politics may be the only hope we have of having a peaceful, prosperous, non partisan government.

                                                                           What if.  

    As usual, feel free to criticize or add suggestions. All are welcome.





  18. So I use a music streaming site, I won’t name it but it’s been around a while and yes it is a legal streaming site.

    I enjoy a very wide variety of music that includes classical (Bach, Motzart, Beetoven etc), 80’s butt rock (don’t ask), 60’s and 70’s rock, Blues, chinese opera, dubstep, industrial, goth, etc. Now the problem is on every channel but one they have recommendations based on the artists I have choosen fairley well. They might be songs that I don’t necessarily like but based on the artists it makes sense.

    Their is only one channel that it seems they can’t get right in order to save lives.  That is my goth channel. I have artists in their like Bahaus, Siouxie and the Banshees, Sisters of Mercy, London After Midnight, Eva O, Gitane Demone, to name a few. Some of the most common “recommendations” are Christian Folk music, Country, and a couple other giant record scratches in the sky.  It boggles my mind that with a couple dozen artists to choose from as far as recommendations go, they pick those genres.

    maybe I should just go play Indian Leg Wrestling with a Yeti. That would be less stressful.

  19. CuriousChaos

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    Ability....or natural gift. Confusion goes along with chaos. So many questions, but not all have answers. Someone with insight, is usually the one who is disconnected... I know, I read, I see, I speak, I moved freely... Essence is upon me, any educators out there.


    Pagan CuriousChaos

  20. StarMountainKid
    Latest Entry
    “What are you doing?!” the Foreman asked me, sounding annoyed.
    “I’m trying to get this to behave itself!” I replied. “These parameters keep changing by themselves. It’s this new algorithm Adominis devised. He thinks it’s an improvement on the old customary one that works better. I wish these young techs would stop having new ideas. This next generation…I don’t know.”
    “Well, do the best you can with it,” the Foreman advised, “but the Supervisor expects results. We’re starting to go over budget already. We can’t afford another delay.”
    With that the Foreman left the lab. I concentrated for a while on trying to tease the formula to behave itself, but soon gave up in frustration. This job has its drawbacks, alright, I thought to myself. But the pay is good, and with a new family to support I would have to stick with it, frustrations or not.
    Of course I knew even if I tamed the wiggly thing, the result still wouldn’t be perfect. It’s all a matter of refining probabilities. That’s the basics of the process. It’s impossible to construct absolute determinism because, for one thing, that would not allow for the fundamental randomness that is essential for creative possibilities.
    Oh, it’s been tried in the early days. Locked-down, fixed parameters describing fixed resolutions of events, but the result was just a mechanism. We weren’t trying to build a clock-work machine; we were attempting to construct a self-resolving instrument that was resourceful, an autonomous entity that had the ability to initiate its own approaches to resolving various changes to its basic program.
    Well, in the end it’s tricky to accomplish all this, given the budget and time frame allowed. One other aspect is, it had to include certain, let me say, elements the higher-ups insist on. Imperfections, mainly. The configuration had to contain certain limitations and constraints as to its precision. In other words, it could not be a better device than the one we lived with ourselves.
    This has always a sticking point with me. I mean, why not build something that is as perfect as we can design it? But we’re not allowed to do this. We must introduce some specific flaws and defects into the project. Our algorithms must be adjusted ever so slightly so that the finished product has some shortcomings built into it.
    I think the great scientists and engineers at the top level have taken careful measure of our own system, and where they have discovered deficiencies they have decided these same defects must be included in the new model.
    This is maddening to me, for I can see how the project can be made perfect. But I’m not allowed to install these improvements. I must instead alter certain aspects so that the design contains these prescribed imperfections.
    I feel regret and even guilt that the function of the completed structure will not be ideal. Its evolution will be flawed in unpredictable ways. Then again maybe this is a good thing. Perfection would be dull and unimaginative. Perhaps within its flaws it will become inventive and resourceful in coping with its limitations.
    It’s a new beginning, afterall. It will have to rely on its instincts and capacity for variation to fulfill itself as best it can, as our system has done. The final outcome is unknown, but I hope it will be successful in realizing its potential.
    As I now sit back in my chair, I wonder if its evolution will result in new life arising from the parameters we have created for it. If we have fashioned a capacity for the as yet unborn. I like to think so. Oftentimes I dream of these, my forever unnamed children, orphaned into a universe they do not expect. They will never know me, their father. Never to hold them in my loving embrace, or perhaps to face in horror their glorious malevolence.
  21. Ryu
    Latest Entry

    There was a thread, at one point that discussed the concept of what life

    is and what it entailed, naturally when one thinks of "life" we automatically think of living beings from microscopic bacteria to the 

    leviathan great blue whales and generally we would be correct but as I pondered this idea I couldn't help by ask myself 

    if this was entirely accurate.

    In short, is our concept of life a bit myopic? Just as there are many types of love, there are also many types of life too. 

    When we look at physical matter, it is really just forms of energy that, when coalesced, oscillate at a particular frequency. It seems that there is not "energy versus matter" it is all just...energy 

    (again for the purposes of conversation, I use the term energy as a collective term out of convenience).



    When you break down matter (or maybe the term energy pattern is more appropriate) you have a tiny, imperceptible particle of energy. 

    It is tiny, and maybe that little particle is weak but it is there, it oscillates and affects an area of space around it no matter how large or 

    small parameter it is.Now you have trillions upon trillions of these little particles, some move really, really fast and 

    there are others that just mosey along at their own pace.

    At some point these particles will get bounced around, bumping off of this particle and crashing into others.

    Sort of like being in Grand Central Station in rush hour.

    Now each particle is able to attract or repel based upon whether those frequencies are compatible with one another, if one particle bonds 

    with another, that combined frequency becomes a little stronger and able to attract more and more until their combined frequency can 

    attract particles that emanate a stronger energy field. At some point the accumulation accelerates and baring that nothing happens to 

    break the bond in the meantime, something will be formed. 


    What it will be depends, I suppose, on the particles that are accumulated.

    Now one might ask how this constitutes "life" and it is a good inquiry, really. I suppose one of the ways "life" could be defined is the accumulation and maintenance of coalesced particles, bonded so strongly that they are able, by their energetic nature, to maintain a position on the 

    energetic celestial gear works of the cosmos such as a solar system.

    I would even surmise that even biological life assists in this process (this will relate to my other article on 'Lifestream') by creating its 

    own unique sets of frequencies that support not just the planet it is on but forms a sort of "net" that connects to all in the universe.

    (Yeah, for lack of a better term I am forced to rely on the heavily over-used and worn out of 'We're all connected' platitude. Sorry)



    Again if you have read through to the end then I once again am grateful for your patience

    and I may add more later.....maybe.

    And if you are totally confused then you are in good company, so am I!

  22. The First Annual "Spamentine Days Festival (and Car Wash)" was recently held at the World Famous Institute of Epicurean Delight, and City Dump. This report has been delayed by several factors, including the unfortunate fact that UM has a new policy of asking for contractor bids for planning and running social events. The winning contractor for this highly anticipated (by someone I’m sure) event was $5.15 made by UM’s very own “Comatose Reaction And Procrastination” (CRAP) Club.  No one on the selection committee noticed that the CRAP Club’s bid was actually for an afternoon tea that had been scheduled for February 24th 1923 – and they had just gotten around to submitting it. After being notified of their winning bid, the club sprang into uncharacteristic activity and was able to stage the event only two weeks late (or 95 years late depending on how you look at it). ((Okay, Okay… The truth is I’m just lazy))

    At first there was great concern that with such a low budget they would not be able to supply the required amount of food (Spam) and beverages, however, they soon found that many people were actually willing to pay them to take the Spam off of their hands…. In no time the event staff found themselves richer by $10,000 and the proud possessors of 150,000 metric tons of Spam.

    Working in close(ish) conjunction with the Grumpy Old Coot and Cootess League, the Banquet hall was decorated in a stunning display of empty Spam cans, old pill bottles and crepe paper Penguins (no one knows why). The massive mound of malodorous meat was sliced, diced, chopped and torn into semi-convenient bite sized (ish) bits and placed on crackers that had been donated by the UM Ancient Cracker and Fungus Collectors Club. The many casks, barrels, bottles and flagons of beverages made from liquefied Spam were rolled in and set up alongside the snack tables. The Floggers Guild volunteered many of its members to act as servers (and to ensure that everyone consumed their fair share of the bilious bounty).

    As the teeming crowds were let in to enjoy the festivities (herded by cattle prod bearing Floggers) they were greeted by the loud, festive sounds of UM’s premier band “The Noggin’ Knockers”. As the evening progressed the partiers danced to classic songs like “Stairway to Spam”, “Long Cool Woman in a Spam Dress”, “Spam on the Water” and “Spamstruck”… The dancing and gorging on Spam d’oeuvres continued on into the evening, and as each partier left they were given a parting gift of a full metric ton of (opened) spam. (Attendance was not mandatory, but roll was taken – and those not in attendance will be given three metric tons of Spam as punishment)

    As a side note, the various UM cafeteria’s, snack bars and eateries that dot the vast sprawling UM complex will be serving many different variations of Spam for the next few coming months… So put your bib on, grab a fork and dig in! (It’s the only way we’ll get rid of this stuff).

    For a first Annual event, The Spam Fest attendees produced and wore some spectacular party garments… While no prizes were given, everyone was highly impressed with the creative usage of that weird rubbery gel like stuff that they pack the spam into the cans with… Good work Ladies (and gents)!...

    Prior to the start of the party, the UM Grumpy Old Coot and Cootess League ran a car wash for the attendees. While there are few automobiles in the Great UM Complex, there are a large number of tricycles (including some very sporty racing ones left over from last years Annual UM Tricycle Race, Demolition Derby and Chili Cook-off) and a veritable plethora of war surplus Assault Pogo-Sticks that most UM Complex citizens use to get around (rather than rely on Public Transportation provided by the Galapagos Turtle Taxi Company)… For the low price of $1 these lucky people were treated to the memorable sight of a bunch of geriatric geezers and geezettes lurching around wearing risqué swimsuits (well… risqué by 1890’s standards anyway) swimsuits.thumb.jpg.554f3b7b6a8af565eb4191b8ce077932.jpg

    and almost sorta scrubbing their rides clean(ish) kinda…. While the many tricycles were lovingly affectionately kindly grudgingly hand soaped and scrubbed clean(ish), the pogo-stick pilots were routed through a much quicker “Automatic” wash system… They would pogo-bounce through a series of sunken tubs filled with soapy, (mostly) clean(ish) hot warm tepid water. The pogoers were thus happy to discover that for a single $1, they could not only get their “ride” cleaned, but also their clothes washed AND take their weekly bath – all at the same time!

    But the real surprise at the car wash was when the Infamous Renegade Beer Balloon Fleet appeared, and demanded that their war surplus zeppelins get a thorough cleaning… for $1 each!... As the Renegade zeppelin crews sat and reclined about guzzling beer and snacking on the mounds of free spam snacks, the (by now VERY grumpy) old coots and cootesses did their best to scrub down the 420 foot long (128 meters) 38 feet in diameter gas bags that were (still are for that matter) heavily stained with spilled beer and nacho cheese dip. Eventually all 27 Zeppelins were (more or less) scrubbed down and the tipsy crews boarded their air craft and sailed off over the Creepy Old Forest bombarding those below them with empty beer bottles, empty (sometimes full) spam cans and loudly blaring heavy metal polka music…

    As he gathered up the piles of cash that the car wash brought in, Gustav “Grumpy Gus” Crabapple – the head wash attendant, reported that all proceeds would go to Charity (Charity Laflamme is a rather popular “exotic dancer” at one of UM’s “more colorful” nightspots).

    The event was largely considered a great success, and many happy couples rekindled the fires of romance at this festival... After all, nothing says "I love you" like a can of Spam!

    Feel free to post your comments on your participation at either of these two events, and also to post pics of your costumes! And if you are a member of the Renegade Beer Balloon Fleet, you stiffed us the twenty seven bucks you owe us!


  23. preacherman76
    Latest Entry

    Hey guys. I decided to write a short story. I try not to go to long without writing something, so I don't lose it. This was done kinda quickly, and is unedited for the most part, but I thought it was ok. Let me know what you think. I haven't titled it yet.


         It was a mid January night in the winter of ‘94. The moonlight reflected off our billowing breath from the deep cold and cast our long shadows on the railroad tracks as we walked to our small ice skating pond that was a stone's throw from the Hudson River.

         We would both be graduating high school at the end of this year, and not knowing where either of us would be, or what we would end up doing in the fast approaching new phase of our lives, we decided to take advantage of one last midnight skate. Before the first winter storm of the year that was coming the next day ruined the ice.

         “Jay the ice is perfect” Matt said as we stepped off the tracks and down the rocky embankment to the frozen ice below. The ice almost seemed to glow in the glimmering moonlight and brightly lit the surrounding trees. The stars shined through the still air as we  quickly took off our boots and put on our hockey skates.

         Neither of us said a word as we got up to begin our last of many nights over the last 5 years skating on this forsaken little pond. Just a quick glance towards each other told the story of how we would both miss these nights, and how grateful we were that the last night here was as perfect as it could possibly be.

         I was saddened at the thought that there would be no one to come visit this place after we were gone, but I quickly shook that feeling as I exploded across the ice. “Wait for me” Matt yelled out as he tied his last skate.

         The sound of our skates gliding across the ice almost sounded like rolling thunder. We began to shed layers of clothes as our body temperatures climbed. Even in this cold night air.

         I was skating the edge of the pond along side the thick brush going about as fast as I could go, when I noticed something strange stuck in side a bush I had just past. Ice shredded under my skates as I quickly came to a full stop. Matt wasn't as good at stopping as I was, and he nearly knocked me right over as he slammed into me from behind.

         “What did you stop for?” Matt asked me curiously, as he struggled to keep his balance. I told him that I had seen something in one of the bushes, as I back tracked to find the mystery object. It only took a few seconds to find it. We both looked at each other puzzled as I pulled a small pink winter hat out of the thorny brush.

         “I wonder who that belongs to” Matt said. We both stood there puzzled as we examined the pink hat. It is a difficult walk for two strong teenage boys to get here in the winter. Who ever this hat belonged to certainly couldn't have made it this far on their own.

         As we stood there pondering, Matt shrugged his shoulders as if to say he gave up trying to solve the mystery, and he began to take off across the ice again.

         Not anywhere near as satisfied as Matt was trying to solve this mystery I began to inspect the pink hat much more closely. On the back side of the hat the name Becky was stitched into the cloth. A cold shiver ran down my spine when I turned the hat inside out to reveal what looked like a large blood stain.

         Keeping my focus on the stain, I yelled out to Matt to come back. I could hear his skates begin to dig into the ice as he tried to come to a stop. Then I heard a loud thud.

         I quickly turned to see Matt laid out face first in the middle of the pond. He never did quite get the hang of stopping quickly, and like had happened before I figured his feet must have come out from underneath him as he dug his blades into the ice. The last time this happened we ended up in a emergency room. 12 stitches later he was as good as new.

         I dropped the hat and skated over to him as quickly as I could. Face down he laid there motionless. At his side I dropped to my knees and began to try and wake him up. I started nudging him, lightly at first, but when I got no response I began to nudge him harder. I could see his breath like a pausing smoke stack, so I knew he was still alive. I thanked God for that much.

         "Matt” I yelled frantically, “wake up”. Again no response. He was out cold. So I grabbed one arm and one leg, and started to roll him over onto his back. Wondering to myself how I was going to get him all the way home if he didn't come to. Knowing no way could I leave him there even to get help. He’d freeze to death before I could get back to him.

         I nearly had him flipped over when suddenly for one moment I felt a cold tingling blast, almost like electricity going right into my back, then right through my chest. I looked down at Matt now lying face up when his eyes instantly opened wide.

         For one moment I felt a sense of relief that he had woken up. That feeling left me quickly when I realized that his large eye’s had become as white as the snow surrounding the pond. Horrified I tried to stand up. Never taking my eyes off his evil looking stare. That's when Matt reached over and grabbed my arm.

         As soon as he grabbed me that same electric like feeling I had just felt blow through me was now coursing through my entire body. Like every cell in me began to hold a high frequency pitch. I tried to pull away, but there was no use. He had me in a death grip, and my senses were being overridden by this terrifying vibration.

         My mind had begun to get very cloudy. It felt as though I was beginning to lose consciousness. I closed my eyes and fell onto the ice.

         The next thing I knew I could see a bright light behind my eyelids. The cold breeze that had redend our cheeks and nose went completely away. I could no longer feel the cold at all. I opened my eyes and for a moment I was blinded by what looked like the midday sun.

         It was the middle of the day. Light beams from the sun were glistening off ice sickles hanging off the tree’s. The white snow magnified the sunlight all around nearly blinding me for a moment. I looked to my side to see Matt standing there looking as confused as I felt. Before either of us could say a word, we heard what sounded like someone coming down off the railroad tracks and on to the frozen pond.

         A large man in a thick winter coat came down the hill. He was slowly stepping onto the ice, as though he wasn't sure it could hold his weight. He took a few small steps, and bounced up and down slightly to make sure. Then he turned around and yelled out “it’s safe Rebecca, come on down”.

          A little girl around 7 maybe 8 years old with ice skates hanging around her neck began to make her way down the hill. She nearly stumbled down, then she decided to sit down and slide on her butt the rest of the way. As she put her skates on the man was making his way towards us.

         He was looking at the ground has he came near. I said out loud to him, “hello”, but he never even looked up. It was as though he completely ignored me.  He was heading directly towards us. When I noticed he was going to walk right into us. I tried to move aside, but it was too late.

         That's when he walked right through me. As he did, I felt a darkness like cold chills running up and down my spine. The kind of feeling you get when the hairs on the back of your neck stand in attention. I began to question if I was going crazy. There is no way to rationally explain what was happening, yet there I was living it, breathing it. We had become like ghosts, unable to be heard or touched. I turned to Mat and asked if this was a dream. He said to me “I don't think so” with a look of panic on his face.

         Just then the little girl began to skate across the pond. “Look at me Uncle Toni” she yelled out as she awkwardly stumbled one foot in front of the other. “That's great Becky” he yelled back to her.

         Becky? I thought to myself. Where I have I heard that name recently? An ice cold chill ran down my spine, as she skated past me. I saw her little pink hat with the name Becky stitched on the front, and instantly my heart sank into my chest.

         Frantically I yelled out to her, but she couldn't hear me at all. In desperation both me and Mat began to follow her towards the brush at the other end of the pond. I felt as helpless as I knew Becky was right then. Knowing there was nothing I could do but watch whatever horror that was about to play out in front of us.

         As she approached the man I could see he was taking something out of his coat pocket. It was a short metal pipe. I stood frozen in silence as I heard Mat scream NO, as the man raised the pipe high in the air. Before I could see what happened I suddenly became very dizzy and lightheaded. I could see the twisted evil look on the mans face. It was as if for one moment time had completely stood still. Then everything went black.

         “Jay wake up” I could hear someone yelling at me. My eyes were closed but I could see through my eyelids that it had become dark again. I felt the cold wind hit me in the face as I opened my eyes to see Mat sitting by side shaking me.

         “Alright” I said “stop shaking me”. We then both just looked at each other for what seemed like forever. “Did you see”, Before I could get the sentence out he abruptly said “Yes, I saw it too”. We sat in silence again. I turned to look across the pond to see Becky’s little pink hat still sitting on the ice where I had dropped it.

         “Let's get the hell out of here” Mat said as he turned towards his boots sitting on the edge of the ice. He reached down to help me to my feet. We just looked at each other again, unable to process what had just happened. We were just about to leave when suddenly we heard a small voice call out from the bush across the pond.

         My heart dropped to my stomach. There in the brush just a little ways beyond the ice stood a little girl in a pink hat. I could see lines of blood that had run down her face. There were stains of mud and blood all over her.

         We both began to race towards her. I know that sounds crazy but we both had the overwhelming feeling that she needed our help. I don't know how, but we both knew she didn't mean us any harm. I shredded ice to stop as I reached the end of the pond. Mat slammed into me, again. She was no more than 10 feet in front of us.

         “I'm here” said as she looked and pointed to the ground right in front of her. Then like smoke she faded away in the cold winter breeze.

         After long consideration we decided a unanimous call to the police would be the best course of action. Neither one of us ever told anyone what had happened. We both felt a sense of peace as we read in the local paper how they had found Becky’s body. We also felt a sense of justice reading about how “Uncle Toni” was arrested for her murder. I got chills the first time I saw his picture on the front page.

         Over the next few years me and Mat would visit her grave site at Hilltop Cemetery, just down the road from where went to high school.  Turns out neither of us moved far from where we grew up. And we still get in the occasional midnight skate. 

         We never did see or hear from Becky again. Accept from time to time in a dream.


    Thanks for taking the time folks.


  24. Yesterday I set a new personal record for hiking while on a working overnight in Burbank, CA. As soon as I arrived at the hotel, I packed my small REI backpack with two liters of water, some salted- and honey-roasted peanuts, and two flashlights (just in case I got hurt and had to signal for help after dark).

     I set out hiking into the Verdugo Mountains, with my sights set on the Radio Towers at the peak: 6.5 miles up, and 6.5 miles down. 

    I stopped at the Nature Center in Stough Canyon to borrow a hiking stick. It’s a good thing I did, because in that last half-mile struggle to reach the top, I was using both hands to propel myself forward like those gondolier guys in Italy.

    It was tough going, but it was worth it for the view: downtown Los Angeles to the west, Interstate 5 winding through the mountains to the east, and dozens of amazingly huge crows circling above me in the deep-blue skies and chasing one another, soaring and spinning, chattering and cawing. I wonder if they know they have an audience, and they put on a show for whoever’s watching? If I had a lawnchair, I could sit for hours and watch their aerial antics.

    Hiking back down the steep mountain switchbacks was painful: my right knee and my left hip were screaming in pain from the unnatural angles and the extra torque of slamming my feet into the hillside. I was walking slowly, wincing in pain, swinging my right leg like a pirate with a pegleg.

    Thankfully, I made it back to the hotel safely, looking only a little bit like The Walking Dead, and I got to my room and dined on a peanut butter & jelly sandwich and some applesauce. After my 13-mile hike, it was a meal fit for a King.

    Today, of course, I was popping aspirins like they were jelly beans, but you know, all things considered, I think I did okay for an old dinosaur. 

  25. The fact that hauntings can never be disputed as proven by the amount of evidence available by those having captured it has been hotly debated for many years between believers and skeptics alike. And even when all conditions had been exhausted regarding all the hows something might have existed is it found that often there will always be those who will just never chose to believe! Which is why you never go out of your way to prove something of which you may know to be real but that those who had not been there to experience it may align with that fact to both ridicule and bury you and your efforts. In essence, you state your case, provide your evidence, remain firm in your conviction, and move on to your next moment of acquisition. 

    This particular photo was captured during a rather hot day and coinciding with what had been a Class X solar event!

    Not sure if that made any difference as to how this rather startling apparition had appeared for my camera but then it would always be wise to perhaps consider it so.