A Dream of Someone

[_Only]

I want to put this dream I have had here, and ask for any input anyone can offer. I use the word dream as a placeholder, because it wasn't a "dream" in the literal sense, but much more. Well, I'll just get to it before I get off on a tangent.

A part of me came to me (yes, if it doesn't make sense to you, that's okay) and was begging for help. She (yes, I am a guy) told me she has been crying for me. She told me she has been trying everything for me, going through pain for me, but I won't listen. She is trying to break through to me.

She said she is a spirit without a soul, and is sleeping somewhere scary. She said I need to find her soul and bring it back to her. She wants me to wake her up. She needs my touch to wake up, needs my love; only I am the life among the dead.

She told me that I have the answers in my mind, but consciously have forgotten them. And that this is the way the human mind works. Whenever something is too harmful, shameful, or unpleasant to us, we reject it. Erase it from our memories. But it's still there.

The pain and fear that is holding me, releases life in her. We share a mutual shame that blinds them (not sure who "them" is exactly) from the truth. She said to not be afraid. When the darkness goes away, the dawn will break the silence, and our hearts will be screaming. Her love is still growing for me, doing this for me, before she goes to try to fight the truth for the final time.

She feels alone, that we should be together, but aren't. She said she is next to me, listening to me breathe. The life that flows through me, burns inside of her. She wants me to speak to her. But not with words; with love. She wants me to tell her this, and she will die for me. But then says, don't throw her away, say I'll be with her, because she can't bear it all alone. And tells me I am never alone. There is nothing we can do to make it go away. The imprint is always there. Nothing is ever really forgotten. Because she is dying, too.

She said she is falling, and wants me to catch her. She wants me to tell her that I'm here, and that's it's over. Wants me to talk to the atmosphere. And to fall into myself. The truth is driving her crazy, and knows it can stop if she just wills it away. But then tells me to not will it away. To not give into the pain. Don't hide from it. Don't shut my eyes; God knows what sits behind them. Don't sleep; don't die.

She's scared of what she sees, but knows that there is more to come. She's frozen in fear. And crying.

Fallen angels are below her feet, and voices whispering in her ears. She sees death, and fears it is lying next to her. She calls death "her", and says "she" is calling for her, and asks me if she should give in. And if she ends herself, would she ever live again? If she ends, will she begin?

She said to forgive her; she won't be home again. Maybe someday I'll have woken up. And, barely conscious, say to no one "isn't something missing?".

That's all I'll put for now. There is so much more, but it really takes a lot out of me to go through it all. I don't understand it myself, but what I feel is that she is me, I am her, we're in a very dark place. She is trying so hard for me, and I am doing so little for her. She is love. I feel she is my soul. And I'm her heart. And that we're both broken.

If anyone has any insight into any part of any of these dreams I'm having, it'd be appreciated.

Edited March 15, 2012 by Jerry Only

[Wordless Wanderer]

Do you have some kind of remorse that you just can't let go of?

[eight bits]

You didn't actually say, but I'm assuming that the dream character is about your age. If so, then perhaps you might googlebing anima jung dream and see if any of that resonates with you.

Some of the dream character's conversation has a "shadow' edge to it, so maybe look at shadow jung dream.

If none of it strikes a chord, then so be it, but it's where I'd look first.

Also, either way, if you haven't written out the whole thing, the sooner the better. This is very probably a jung "big dream", also searchable. You may still be thinking about it years from now, at which time, you'll be happy to have as full a record as possible.

[_Only]

Thanks.

I guess I do have remorse I haven't let go. So much I haven't let go. I don't let anything go.

I don't know "her" age. I guess I just assumed she is so, so old. She's been there for many lifetimes. I mean, I feel she's my soul. Thanks, I'll check those out. I've found recently that everything I hear and see has great meaning now. It's completely mind boggling. It's hard to get away from it; not that I want to. I actually fear the time that I lose this sight.

I'm also looking into broken souls, and steps to fix them, if possible. There's no denying for me that my soul is hurt. And I'd like it back.

Edited March 16, 2012 by Jerry Only

[bLu3 de 3n3rgy]

Jerry are you going through an awakening of sorts ? sounds soul related in my opinion.

Edited March 16, 2012 by AnVil

[_Only]

I'm going through an utterly mind boggling (I keep using that word) awakening.

I just looked a little up on Carl Jung, and, go figure, it all made a perfect connection to what I've been seeing (seeing everywhere) this past week, and what it might mean for me. This from Wikipedia (analytical psychology):

The overarching goal of Jungian psychology is the attainment of self through individuation. Jung defines "self" as the "archetype of wholeness and the regulating center of the psyche." Central to this process is the individual's encounter with its psyche, and bringing its elements into the conscious, as an awakening. Humans experience the unconscious through symbols encountered in all aspects of life: in dreams, art, religion, and the symbolic dramas we enact in our relationships and life pursuits. Essential to this numinous encounter is the merging of the individual's consciousness with this broader collective through its symbolic language. By bringing conscious awareness to that which is not, when unconscious elements surface, they can be integrated into consciousness.

Is she my psyche? She is trying to wake me up; wake herself up. And I have been seeing these symbolic messages everywhere. I probably wouldn't be able to explain them if I tried, as they are personal. But they won't stop rushing to me.

I also had a dream that I went to a place (it looked just the same as where we live now, but was different) where my thoughts weren't my own. If this sounds bad or scary, it wasn't at all. It felt so right. Because I found that I was sharing my conscious thoughts with everyone. We all were thinking as one. And there was a feeling of love. I just pray that place is real.

edit to add: When I went to this great place (where we all thought as one), that's when I first felt this great feeling of information being thrown at me from everywhere. But now, even though I'm not there anymore, that information remains coming to me.

Edited March 16, 2012 by Jerry Only

[bLu3 de 3n3rgy]

It can be overwhelming at first, but don't worry. The higher consciousness level you experienced in your dream is showing you that "separateness" is really an illusion from the 'whole'. This is what it means to shift consciousness beyond the ego self/level. I know this doesn't have to be explained to you because you've experiencing it. And yes that's how symbolic messages from our subconsciousness and higher self minds speak to us. They are so highly personal by design, complex yet simple, and put in a way that you can not deny what your self is showing you. It's only meant for you, so enjoy the process and journal it can help.

Edited March 16, 2012 by AnVil

[Wordless Wanderer]

Its like you're on a journey of self-discovery. Like Anvil said maintain a journal, it'll be interesting to decipher your dreams.

[eight bits]

Hey, Jerry

Glad to see that the pointer to Jung was of some use to you.

The strategic objective, long-term, very long-term is as you quoted from that article on analytical psychology. But the short-term objective is what Anvil said, not to be overwhelmed. Which is easy to be, since this is all powerful stuff.

So take it slow. Nobody we know of has ever finished individuation, maybe there is no "finished." How would anybody know if nobody's done it? Anyway, this a project for decades. Take your time; take it easy.

Best wishes for the journey.

[krislove]

I've had something similar. I've had a girl who came to me who looks like my identical twin and she told me she'd been searching for me for over 65,000 years. The first thing that came to mind when I read your post was that you need a soul retrieval. You could get someone to do this for you or do it yourself. I think it would be best if you did it yourself. As I kept reading the dialog became pretty dark. It seems like you are running away from some of your fears and it wants you to process these fears. Every fear can be transformed into a beautiful experience and insight.