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So much respect for the huge gonads on those cops. They likely saved lives of people that never knew it that night

It’s a load of white man’s burdenesque fetishisation of primitivism with lashing of racism, sexism, rampant idiocy and just a touch of witterings so absurd that even the writers of Doctor Who would shy away from them and they once said that trees produce carbon dioxide.

I really hate my mood swings. They're great!

I decided to take on a challenge from a friend of mine. She is stating one thing each day of November that she's thankful for. So here's my first entry: Today I am thankful for the ability to walk. It's something I wasn't sure I would be able to do 6 months ago.

I want to take a moment to thank my skeletal system for being so supportive all these years.

I will be posting telepathically today so if you think of something funny, it was me.

Have any memories of your childhood pet? I had this beagle that saw a rabbit and started chasing it. He got so excited that he had to stop and poop.

Thankfulness Challenge, Day 2 Today I am thankful for my hubby. He loves me for who I am, despite my flaws, he supports me in all that I do and makes me a better person.

People are mixing history with present time a lot... I'm thinking about suing the Roman empire for invading Gaule, I'm starting this epic jouney by burning all books with latin based languages in my house because it offend me. I'm thinking about burning my supermarket because they sell caesar salad dressing too, Caesar was a bloody roman tyran, do you think these are good idea ? We cannot stop there, we need to escalade that to all offending country and people of the past !

The easy fix would be for them to grow up and stop behaving like a "very whiny and over-sensitive young person". It seems they missed that "sticks and stones" memo we all got as children.

A fortune teller told me last week that in about 12 years I would suffer terrible heartbreak. So, to cheer myself up, I went out and bought a puppy.

Good morning.

Playin naked twister by yourself is no fun, and definitely not worth getting oiled up for.. we live and learn.

I am thankful for all the veterans out there, including my hubby. Thank you all for your service.

Well not really, but I won't be posting here much anymore. I wont have time, Im looking for employment. I havent worked for 11 years, ive been on disability for schizoaffective disorder and general anxiety disorder. I have been thinking about and wanting to work again for like a year now. I finally took the plunge and applied for three jobs this afternoon. Low stress jobs, dishwashing, stocking and a mcdonalds cook position. I am a school dropout so my choices are limited. But everyone seems to be hiring right now in my area, so I think I have a pretty good chance of actually getting something. At the very least a hotel housekeeping job. wish me luck

Good morning. It's snowing!

My neighbours wife has been missing for over a week. The police told him to be prepared for the worst, so he needs to go to the local charity shop tomorrow to get all her clothes back.

Thankfulness challenge: Day 14 I am so thankful for my pets! Losing one of our cats and our dog this past year made me realize just how much they meant to me. So I don't take it for granted and enjoy the short time we have with them while they are here.

Thankfulness Challenge, Day 3 I am thankful for my job and especially my coworkers, who I consider friends. They are an awesome group of ladies and they make my life brighter.

“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.” --- Emo Philips

What’s the toughest thing about being a vegan? Apparently, keeping it to yourself.

I went for an audition at a talent agency yesterday. They asked, "So what's your special talent?" I said, "I do bird impressions" And they said, "Sorry, that’s not very original". So I said, "Fair enough!"... and flew out the window.

Good morning.

And I thought I was the only one who couldn't put together a Swedish cabinet.

I am thankful for energy!! My iron dropped very low when I was in the hospital, requiring 2 blood transfusions. Then I had to have 2 iron infusions right before and after my second surgery. I was so exhausted!! I had never been that exhausted before!! So I am happy that I have the energy to get my errands done and to go and exercise!!

If alcohol can damage your short term memory imagine the damage alcohol can do!

I just got off the phone from a old friend. He is in the VA and had 2 stent’s put in and he is doing well. We were talking about the old days and I noticed he was getting choked up. I told him we had great times in the past and I’m hoping we can have a few more when he gets out of the VA…

An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. There's a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates. Then the priest comes in. "Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be." The priest replies, "Get out. You're on my side."

Reminds me of a lame, old joke from when I was a kid: In a letter to her son, mom delivers the sad news, dad is dead. He fell into a brewery vat and drowned. The workers rushed to help him out, but he fought them off bravely 'til the end.

Im going to post something unexpected and you will now as usual ask yourself is the mad lad drunk as a skunk again?. :-P To make a Long story Short My parents befriended a scottish couple George and Una Clubb when i was born and they sort of adopted our family sadly they are no longer with us but this used to be one of Georges favourite songs and he used to do some chair dancing to it . I have never heard the story behind it but it sort of make sence now :-) And yeah i've been to Campbeltown and from what i know the Loch is still there :-P

As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He called out, "Anyone here know how to pray?" One man stepped forward. "Aye, Captain, I know how to pray." "Good," said the captain, "you pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets - we're one short."

Well as most of you know I like a good laugh and decided to change my name just to see the look on their face when I say Ura Nutt while shaking their hand as an introduction.

Thankfulness challenge: Day 10 I am thankful for the gift of health. Just the few weeks I had to spend in the hospital this past spring showed me how precious and how fragile our health can be. I may have a few issues here and there but I am so glad that I am able to be with family and friends!!

My dentist said my teeth were stained. Then he asked, “Do you smoke or drink coffee?” I replied, “I drink it!”

Since I sold my Dusty Springfield collection, I just don't know what to do with myself.

Be sure to bring up politics at Thanksgiving dinner. It's going to save you money on Christmas gifts. Follow me for more holiday tips.

I think I've finally solved the puzzle of my ridiculously high electricity bills. Remember I mentioned the mysterious switch on my wall? I asked my sister to turn it off & back on, while I looked around for any changes. Then, I noticed that the floodlights at Edgbaston Cricket Ground were flashing!

What do you give the person who has everything? Antibiotics, for a start.

I have heard "the last pope" drivel for a few decades . The last two predecessors of the current pope were supposed to be "the last pope", just like Bush jr was supposed to be "the last U.S. president", but when that didn't happen it was Obama, then Trump, and here we go. Some people are waiting for the end of the world for a lot of different reasons. I think it is a mental illness. I think it would lighten the world a bit if the judaic religions withered up and blew away, but at the moment it does not look like that will happen in this century.

The Twilight Zone's, Rod Serling says...

Photo courtesy of WA Police https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-59143494

So when the rest of us have rioters in our streets and neighborhoods for months at a time we just have to kind of suck it up but when it affects you then time to KILL 'EM ALL!!! What a dip ****.

Mostly peaceful shopping.

I started out in life with nothing - and I've still got most of it.

11 years ago today my good friend James came running out shouting "It's a boy!" with tears streaming down his face. We never did go back to Thailand.

Screw you daylight savings time.

Looks like nothing's gonna change Everything still remains the same I can't do what ten people tell me to do So I guess I'll remain the same, listen Sittin' here resting my bones And this loneliness won't leave me alone.

Wishing everyone on UM a Happy Halloween!