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Something horrible just happened to me... I was eating lunch and had a mouth full of food, when I suddenly sneezed. The food came out my nose!!! That hurts!

Nailed it!

We can land a robotic remote control exploratory vehicle on Mars with exact precision, but I'm still struggling to get this vending machine to take my wrinkled dollar.

Finally got into inpatient rehab last night. First day of physical and occupational therapy kicked my behind. Got visits from my kids, my mom and best friend, and my hubby. . Wishing everyone a wonderful Easter.

Well the good news is that the lungs and heart are fine but the bad news is that I have more arthritis in my spine. That would explain the numbness in my legs and feet...

I stare into the void. It is deep and lonely. It makes me feel empty inside. Like a longing that cannot be filled. The void hurts and I can barely stand it.....then I realize I'm just staring into a bag, I ate the last chip. Now I need another bag.

UM's most popular band (or least hated anyway), The Noggin' Knockers have announced that they are holding open auditions for a new lead Shrieker. Their former lead won't be available for the next 10 to 15 years (7 if he behaves). Those interested, should bring their own Chain Mail and leather but leave any dungeon tools at home - your voice should be horrifying enough.

Good morning folks. Happy Easter weekend.

Alice Cooper at a food bank.image

I'm writing this from hospital. Don't worry, I'm going to be fine. But I feel I should warn you that the "Dyson Ball Cleaner" has a very misleading name.

'Morning.

I wandered lonely as a cloud ⁠That floats on high o'er vales and hills, When all at once I saw a crowd, ⁠A host of golden daffodils: Beside the lake, beneath the trees, Fluttering and dancing in the breeze. Wordsworth

We weep when we are born, not when we die.

Philly is in an uproar tonight. A 25 yr old man was shot and killed just 2 blocks from Independence Hall and the Liberty Bell. 4 men jumped out of a van and 27 shots were fired. The man's girlfriend was not hurt. Very rare for a shooting in this part of the city. But 7 more were shot throughout Philly today. 3 at a cookout.

'Morning.

And tomorrow I'll get vaccinated It won't turn the world back to normal, of course, that will only happen once a majority of people are vaccinated, but at least i don't have to be as worried about catching the virus anymore.

I just gave UM a severe stress attack! Quoting someone, I added a non-bolded character next to a bolded word, and it went completely hatstand!

Come and get your... [00.03:28] ~

You ever have a dream that you only remember snippets of, but, you can't stop trying to remember all of it because you feel discombobulated?

That awkward moment when you realize you're the only guy in a thread defending ham and pineapple pizza ... It's not that bad... ... It has it's place, y'know...

Double mutant... ~ The longer the virus continues to circulate in the world, the greater the chances of more and deadlier variants, vaccine or no vaccine ~

He took the 5th. https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/14/us/morries-hall-fifth-amendment.html

1 in a billion (?) snooker break-off shot. Watch the reds, not the white..... https://youtu.be/MCuiwiL302E

BC tightening up it's restrictions again. And people complain it is against their rights, yet they won't wear masks, or if they do, they won't wear them properly. Argh.

Just found the lost love of my life through a google search. Have done this search many times over the years with no actual hits so wasn't expecting this. I wonder what I should do? Any suggestions? Who would like to help me embarrass myself ?

Wow, 5000 posts. A record for me. I'd like to thank the Acade... Er all you fine folks who engaged me, and made me a better person than I was when I migrated here from Fark. I love you all. Yes, you too. Thank you. Hank

"What year is this?" is the only question I can think of after coming out of a food coma.

I wonder if Devon & Cornwall Police ever caught the Tesco Bum Sniffer. Yarp or Narp? https://youtu.be/T4E8UEqNwhE

After Snow White toured Chernobyl Dopey quipped “She sure does glow.”

Highlands news.... Man who flashed his bottom during Inverness Community Council Zoom meeting has been reported to police. Daily Record

My daughter gets a message from her friend in Chicago that was snowing. Here in the Okanagan, BC we had 20° shorts weather. So bizarre

"'Tis now the very witching time of night, when churchyards yawn and Hell itself breathes out contagion to this world. Now could I drink hot blood and do such bitter business as the day would quake to look on!" HAMLET

a bloke walked into the chemist and asked an assistant, “What gets rid of Coronavirus?” She said, “Ammonia cleaner.” he said, “Oh sorry, I thought you worked here!”

Did you ever notice how some people think piling on a ton of stupid will, somehow, make it not stupid?

Apparently..... In these days of gender fluidity, men can have boobs too!

People often talk about traveling to other planets, but why go to other planets unless we can save our own world first. My avatar is a picture of my own eye - I wonder if people can steal my identity through that picture (because our eyes are just like our fingerprints, very unique). That's the kind of future we have to fight against! But I wouldn't worry too much about it, though, because nature always wins in the end. I think it's important to live mainly in the real world instead of cyberspace. Humanity will only survive if we deserve it - and we will only become a spacefaring civilization if we deserve it.

Reality!!

My new favorite YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCzK4LJkDl73MQMbr8Lrcww

A respiratory expert is giving testimony at Chauvin's trial now.

A literature teacher is explaining the power of poems and stories. "Have you ever read something that made you cry?" A student replied, "Yeah, my last report card."

Back in the day I couldn't stand Dokken. Considered them wimp metal, but now when they come up on my streaming service I kind of like them. Must be turning weak in my old age.

Shrooming and log flipping this morning produced a rare and newly discovered patch nosed salamander https://www.fws.gov/southeast/tags/patch-nosed-salamander/ Have a pic but it's too large to upload

Man scolds CNN reporter about Minneapolis riots. https://www.theblaze.com/news/video-man-unloads-on-cnn-reporter-over-minneapolis-riots?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=facebook

After listening online to the Filth/ Bizzies/ Pigs/ Peelers/ Fuzz/ Bobbies/ Old Bill/ Oinkers, I've reached the conclusion that Law Enforcement in the USA could be more effective, if the local criminals (and the whole world) couldn't listen to their calls.

@diddyman68 Being a huge Queen fan, Brian May is my favourite guitarist. (Biased or what? ) Here's a nice version of Last Horizon: https://youtu.be/9Ua1WKYXEww

Isn't it great when humans don't fight over race, religion, or vaccination - or other matters that can divide us!