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karl 12

100s of proofs that god exists!

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karl 12
Lol, I found my new religion!

ARGUMENT FROM BLINDNESS (II)

(1) God is love.

(2) Love is blind.

(3) Stevie Wonder is blind.

(4) Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

(5) Therefore, God exists.

Gilmoreguy-its pretty hard to argue with that irrefutable logic ;)

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Mekorig

ARGUMENT FROM IMPERFECT READING COMPREHENSION

(1) I have a 12 page argument for the existence of God.

(2) Anyone who reads and comprehends my argument will be convinced that God exists.

(3) You are not convinced that God exists.

(4) Either you didn't read my essay or you didn't understand it.

(5) You cannot refute my argument unless you have read it and understood it.

(6) You cannot refute my argument that God exists.

(7) Therefore, God exists.

So true with some belivers, not necesarily christians, in this forums... :P

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Guyver

Haha that's so funny.

How bout some more.

a. I always start useless threads with a common anti-God theme.

b. Therefore God exists.

a. I have anger issues.

b. Therefore God exists.

a. Anal fissures and chronic halitosis have robbed me of joy.

b. Therefore God exists.

a. I'd be much more comfortable frying in hell for eternity than getting saved.

b. Therefore God exists.

a. A creepy Pentecostal Lady with bad hair scared me as a child.

b. Therefore God exists.

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BlindMessiah
Haha that's so funny.

How bout some more.

a. I always start useless threads with a common anti-God theme.

b. Therefore God exists.

That one was actually on the list.

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Papagiorgio
Lol, I found my new religion!

ARGUMENT FROM BLINDNESS (II)

(1) God is love.

(2) Love is blind.

(3) Stevie Wonder is blind.

(4) Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

(5) Therefore, God exists.

He is responsible for the theme song to Jungle Fever. It must have required some omnipotence to write this:

I've got jungle fever, she's got jungle fever

We've got jungle fever, were in love

She's gone black-boy crazy, I've gone white-girl hazy

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SQLserver
a. I'd be much more comfortable frying in hell for eternity than getting saved.

b. Therefore God exists.

This irrefutable logic has forced me to acknowledge that God exists.

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The One Who Is
Haha that's so funny.

How bout some more.

[snip]

You know, since those are more like atheism arguments, it would have been altogether funnier had you replaced "God exists" with "God does not exist."

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Bez
Haha that's so funny.

How bout some more.

(1) I have a tissue to wipe away your tears.

(2) Therefore God exists.

You know Guyver, time and time again you take things so personal. Most of those on that site make sense.

ARGUMENT FROM RAIN, a.k.a. PERCHANCE'S SISTER'S ARGUMENT (III)

(1) I wanted it to be a sunny day.

(2) I prayed it wouldn't rain.

(3) We had two thunderstorms.

(4) Obviously, God didn't want to answer my prayer.

(5) Of course not! What a selfish thing to pray for! How dare I try to compel God to my selfish desires!

(6) The rain was God's punishment for my selfish desires.

(7) Therefore, God exists.

This makes total sense of why people leave Christianity or never convert to Christianity. Religion has so many contradictions it makes me sick.

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ravergirl

I didn't think it was funny. I wasn't offended, except by the un-funnyness of it.

The God must exist comedic text wasn't funny

It could have been funny

but it wasn't

Therefore, God must exist.

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Bez
I didn't think it was funny. I wasn't offended, except by the un-funnyness of it.

The God must exist comedic text wasn't funny

It could have been funny

but it wasn't

Therefore, God must exist.

i think some of them were funny. others were just stupid. by funny i mean the ridiculous lengths people go to "prove" their religion to others. cause i've been told some of those in person. i laughed in their faces.

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The One Who Is
I didn't think it was funny. I wasn't offended, except by the un-funnyness of it.

The God must exist comedic text wasn't funny

It could have been funny

but it wasn't

Therefore, God must exist.

(1) Very good.

(2) But you forgot the numbering and correct wording of the final statement.

(3) This is God's way of teaching humility.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

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ravergirl
(1) Very good.

(2) But you forgot the numbering and correct wording of the final statement.

(3) This is God's way of teaching humility.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

I have boycotted numbers for this week.

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karl 12

1 This is meant to be high irony.

2 Those strong and secure enough in their faith will not be offended.

3 I'm sure God is not offended and laughing His socks off.

4 Therefore God's socks exist.

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The One Who Is
I have boycotted numbers for this week.

:o

Sacrilege.

1 This is meant to be high irony.

2 Those strong and secure enough in their faith will not be offended.

3 I'm sure God is not offended and laughing His socks off.

4 Therefore God's socks exist.

:rofl:

Exactly. This is against general stupidity and bad logic, not against God.

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ravergirl

:lol: God's Socks....Sounds like a summer camp.

There I knew we could make it funny.

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Dr. Peter Venkman
:lol: God's Socks....Sounds like a summer camp.

There I knew we could make it funny.

:no:

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BlindMessiah
I didn't think it was funny. I wasn't offended, except by the un-funnyness of it.

The God must exist comedic text wasn't funny

It could have been funny

but it wasn't

Therefore, God must exist.

Ya, they weren't funny. Very poorly written. It'd have been funnier if they'd use some real arguments that people actually believe, which very few of those were.

For example, this is funny, which I got off an evangelical website which was supposed to be serious, proving that there are no atheists:

If God exists, he is all knowing

To know if God exists, one must know everything

If someone says God doesn't exist, then they believe they know everything

If one believes they know everything, they believe they are God

Therefore there are no atheists

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Dr. Peter Venkman
Ya, they weren't funny. Very poorly written. It'd have been funnier if they'd use some real arguments that people actually believe, which very few of those were.

For example, this is funny, which I got off an evangelical website which was supposed to be serious, proving that there are no atheists:

If God exists, he is all knowing

To know if God exists, one must know everything

If someone says God doesn't exist, then they believe they know everything

If one believes they know everything, they believe they are God

Therefore there are no atheists

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deductive_reasoning

what's scary is it's logically sound, although untrue. :D LOL!

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The One Who Is
Ya, they weren't funny. Very poorly written. It'd have been funnier if they'd use some real arguments that people actually believe, which very few of those were.

Some of them were rather low quality, but I know quite a few people who among them have used many of those arguments seriously...

For example, this is funny, which I got off an evangelical website which was supposed to be serious, proving that there are no atheists:

If God exists, he is all knowing

To know if God exists, one must know everything

If someone says God doesn't exist, then they believe they know everything

If one believes they know everything, they believe they are God

Therefore there are no atheists

That's hilarious. :rofl:

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BlindMessiah
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deductive_reasoning

what's scary is it's logically sound, although untrue. :D LOL!

It actually isn't logically sound.

If God exists, he is all knowing (unproven assumption)

To know if God exists, one must know everything (one must only know if God exists)

If someone says God doesn't exist, then they believe they know everything (they only believe they know whether God exists)

If one believes they know everything, they believe they are God (even if being God means you know everything, which is unproven, knowing everything doesn't mean you are God)

Therefore there are no atheists (claiming to know God doesn't exists, isn't even required to be an atheist, you simply have to believe God doesn't exist)

So the logical chain is extremely fallible, which is what makes it so funny.

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ravergirl
It actually isn't logically sound.

If God exists, he is all knowing (unproven assumption)

To know if God exists, one must know everything (one must only know if God exists)

If someone says God doesn't exist, then they believe they know everything (they only believe they know whether God exists)

If one believes they know everything, they believe they are God (even if being God means you know everything, which is unproven, knowing everything doesn't mean you are God)

Therefore there are no atheists (claiming to know God doesn't exists, isn't even required to be an atheist, you simply have to believe God doesn't exist)

So the logical chain is extremely fallible, which is what makes it so funny.

WOOHOOOOOOO. In my head I thought, no that isn't a logical flow. but we all know how I hate to disagree with people.

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Dr. Peter Venkman
It actually isn't logically sound.

If God exists, he is all knowing (unproven assumption)

To know if God exists, one must know everything (one must only know if God exists)

If someone says God doesn't exist, then they believe they know everything (they only believe they know whether God exists)

If one believes they know everything, they believe they are God (even if being God means you know everything, which is unproven, knowing everything doesn't mean you are God)

Therefore there are no atheists (claiming to know God doesn't exists, isn't even required to be an atheist, you simply have to believe God doesn't exist)

So the logical chain is extremely fallible, which is what makes it so funny.

You do not understand the difference between logically sound and true. Something can be logically sound and untrue. When using logic, whether the base statement is true or not is irrelevant. that's what the link was for. Educate yourself.

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ravergirl
You do not understand the difference between logically sound and true. Something can be logically sound and untrue. When using logic, whether the base statement is true or not is irrelevant. that's what the link was for. Educate yourself.

Agreed.

But the flow from one idea to the next doesn't flow logically. even if the statements are logical conclusions or statements, they don't flow into a logical,um, block of statements.....like this

Fire Trucks are red

Because they've got 8 wheels and 4 people on them

8 + 4 = 12

There are 12 inches in a foot

One foot is a ruler

There was a ruler named Queen Elizabeth

A ship named Queen Elizabeth sails the seas

In the seas are fish

On the fish are fins

The Fins fought the Russians

And Russians are red.

Edited by ravergirl

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BlindMessiah
You do not understand the difference between logically sound and true. Something can be logically sound and untrue. When using logic, whether the base statement is true or not is irrelevant. that's what the link was for. Educate yourself.

You're amusing. I showed the flaws in the logical chain, the conclusion, as well as base assumption. Educate yourself.

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Dr. Peter Venkman
You're amusing. I showed the flaws in the logical chain, the conclusion, as well as base assumption. Educate yourself.

I did not mean my statement to be rude. YOU SIR are amusing. Dogs are purple. Your mother is a is a dog. Therefore your mother is Purple. That too is a logical statement. It's not true, But it is logical. If you can't understand that, YOU NEED TO EDUCATE YOURSELF. I'm not trying to insult you, please don't take it that way.

Edited by Dr. Peter Venkman

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