Corrupt a Wish

[Mistydawn]

Granted, but each will be corrupted. That's logical, since you got them from a corrupted original wish.

I wish I was allowed to shoot my postman, guy is so annoying I can tell it's him before he knocks at the door.

Granted, but only with a water-pistol! Can't have you hauled off to prison Helen!

I wish it was Springtime outside and not baltic freeze.

[Helen of Annoy]

Granted, but only with a water-pistol! Can't have you hauled off to prison Helen!

I wish it was Springtime outside and not baltic freeze.

Granted, but due to global warming first spring swarms of mosquitoes are so huge and thick they shadow the sun.

I wish that water-pistol was filled with fox urine.

Edited December 23, 2010 by Helen of Annoy

[Mistydawn]

Granted, but due to global warming first spring swarms of mosquitoes are so huge and thick they shadow the sun.

I wish that water-pistol was filled with fox urine.

Determined little b aren't you! Granted, but when you squirt it at him is instantly attracts a dozen male foxes who molest both him AND you.

I wish I liked the taste of water

[jesspy]

Determined little b aren't you! Granted, but when you squirt it at him is instantly attracts a dozen male foxes who molest both him AND you.

I wish I liked the taste of water

Granted you like the taste of water. But will forever hate the taste of alchol, juices, milk, tea, coffee and anyother drink.

I wish I wasnt covered in mosquito bites

[Helen of Annoy]

Granted you like the taste of water. But will forever hate the taste of alchol, juices, milk, tea, coffee and anyother drink.

I wish I wasnt covered in mosquito bites

Mosquito bites?! On Christmas?! Oh, youre down under... good, now I envy you a little less, have fun

Granted, but this granting goes too far and mosquitoes go completely extinct. (Would that really be a bad thing? Extinction is always wrong and horrible, but maybe we could say mosquitoes are an exception?)

I wish I was in Australia right now, warming up my old bones, especially since mosquitoes are extinct.

By the way, calendula does miracles with mosquito and other insect bites. (It's marigold, but not just any marigold, latin name is Calendula Officinalis.) They also hate lavender and rosemary, but to be honest I didn't notice any difference when I tried that.

Edited December 24, 2010 by Helen of Annoy

[Mistydawn]

Mosquito bites?! On Christmas?! Oh, you’re down under... good, now I envy you a little less, have fun

Granted, but this granting goes too far and mosquitoes go completely extinct. (Would that really be a bad thing? Extinction is always wrong and horrible, but maybe we could say mosquitoes are an exception?)

I wish I was in Australia right now, warming up my old bones, especially since mosquitoes are extinct.

By the way, calendula does miracles with mosquito and other insect bites. (It's marigold, but not just any marigold, latin name is Calendula Officinalis.) They also hate lavender and rosemary, but to be honest I didn't notice any difference when I tried that.

Granted, but your bones are red hot and a crocodile is about to eat you..

I wish it was the start of the holidays again.

[Helen of Annoy]

Granted, but you’re stuck in the lift of an empty office building, your mobile is dead and no one knows you’re trapped in there.

I wish I wasn’t so considerate.

[Mistydawn]

Granted, but you're stuck in the lift of an empty office building, your mobile is dead and no one knows you're trapped in there.

I wish I wasn't so considerate.

Granted and you're also ironic!

Wish I had a fairy godmother, a GOOD one Helen!!!

[Helen of Annoy]

Granted and you're also ironic!

Wish I had a fairy godmother, a GOOD one Helen!!!

Your wish is my command Granted, she’s there and she’s good but she’s also a little deaf so you have to scream out loud your wishes to her. And still she brought you hair dye instead of cherry pie when you were trapped in that lift on Christmas. On second try, she brought you a hairy guy... so at least it wasn’t that boring in there. Then you wished for charged mobile phone and got enlarged labile bone... etc. Fun never stops.

I wish I knew why are two spare car tyres on my living room floor and what stopped the genius who put them there to put some papers on the floor first.

[Mistydawn]

Your wish is my command Granted, she's there and she's good but she's also a little deaf so you have to scream out loud your wishes to her. And still she brought you hair dye instead of cherry pie when you were trapped in that lift on Christmas. On second try, she brought you a hairy guy... so at least it wasn't that boring in there. Then you wished for charged mobile phone and got enlarged labile bone... etc. Fun never stops.

I wish I knew why are two spare car tyres on my living room floor and what stopped the genius who put them there to put some papers on the floor first.

Are you a circus entertainer or a stand-up commedianne Helen! Can't stop laughing! ...

Granted, you do know, but what you don't know is the rest of the car parts are in your bedroom.

I wish I didn't have to go to the Dentist this week.

[Helen of Annoy]

Are you a circus entertainer or a stand-up commedianne Helen! Can't stop laughing! ...

Granted, you do know, but what you don't know is the rest of the car parts are in your bedroom.

I wish I didn't have to go to the Dentist this week.

I’m glad you like it.

Stand-up comedian? Thanks but no thanks, over here they don’t stand too long... laid to rest far too soon for my taste. I wish I could say I like the car parts in my bedroom just as much, but to be honest

Granted, the dentist comes to you instead. In the middle of the night, 500W light wakes you up, first you see evil eyes above surgical mask then you realise you’re tied to your bed. And when you call for your good fairy godmother to help you escape, she throws you a hemp cape.

I wish I had a hemp cape.

[Mistydawn]

I'm glad you like it.

Stand-up comedian? Thanks but no thanks, over here they don't stand too long... laid to rest far too soon for my taste. I wish I could say I like the car parts in my bedroom just as much, but to be honest

Granted, the dentist comes to you instead. In the middle of the night, 500W light wakes you up, first you see evil eyes above surgical mask then you realise you're tied to your bed. And when you call for your good fairy godmother to help you escape, she throws you a hemp cape.

I wish I had a hemp cape.

Granted, but I am holding it and I am going to suffocate that octopus of yours!

I wish I could find buried treasure in my garden.

[ColonelJ]

Alright, but it's only considered treasure by a dog. It's a chest full of turkey bones.

I wish I had more chicken soup.

[Mistydawn]

Alright, but it's only considered treasure by a dog. It's a chest full of turkey bones.

I wish I had more chicken soup.

Granted, but there's a chickens head floating in it.

I wish that the Park wont be locked up today like it's been because of ice!

[Helen of Annoy]

Granted, but there's a chickens head floating in it.

I wish that the Park wont be locked up today like it's been because of ice!

Granted, it’s wide open and full of fire-fighters... bring your own hose or bucket to the party, it’s heating up.

I wish for a selective memory loss.

(Not really, I'm just toying with the idea.)

[ColonelJ]

Granted, but now you only remember bad stuff.

I wish I could have a pet dinosaur.

[Mistydawn]

Granted, but now you only remember bad stuff.

I wish I could have a pet dinosaur.

Granted, but it wont let you out of your home.

I wish my mains water would come back on... burst pipes everywhere.

[Helen of Annoy]

Granted, but it wont let you out of your home.

I wish my mains water would come back on... burst pipes everywhere.

Ah, the winter joys... granted, but they connected it to the local brewery by mistake. I know you’d think at first it’s not that bad, but after taking beer showers for a week you might change your mind.

I wish I could find funny socks for bigfoot. Big footed person, that is. There are all kind of funny designs, but too small sizes.

[her.]

granted, but your feet melt.

i wish for world peace.

[Helen of Annoy]

granted, but your feet melt.

i wish for world peace.

Tee-hee, the bigfoot in question is my husband, not me, so I got out accidentally uncorrupted this time

Granted, everybody drops dead... it’s so peaceful now, isn’t it?... and they can’t wait for you to die too so they can chase you from Heaven to Hell and back to beat you with angelic harps. See, that reminds me... there’s also shortage of harps in the heaven thanks to the world-wide genocide you created.

I wish I had more faith in humanity. Kidding. Ignore that. Here's my real wish:

I wish someone would peel my orange for me.

[her.]

granted, but your orange is just waiting to be peeled so it can unleash its fury unto the world. there are no survivors.

i wish they'd let us go home early. like, right now.

[Helen of Annoy]

Granted, but they do that because the WWIII has started. Officially started, that is, it’s been going on for a while and humanity is so damn stupid lately nobody noticed.

I wish for more religious sensitiveness, so Wednesday – named after Wotan (Odin) – is equal to Sunday. We’ll observe both, plus Sabbath (Saturday) and Friday, so that nobody gets offended. What? We'd still have three workdays in a week, isn't that enough?

[Mistydawn]

Granted, but they do that because the WWIII has started. Officially started, that is, it's been going on for a while and humanity is so damn stupid lately nobody noticed.

I wish for more religious sensitiveness, so Wednesday – named after Wotan (Odin) – is equal to Sunday. We'll observe both, plus Sabbath (Saturday) and Friday, so that nobody gets offended. What? We'd still have three workdays in a week, isn't that enough?

Granted but the Church sees every other day as being a Work to God day, so you don't get any lie-ins cept on .... no well, you dont't get to sleep in ever!

I wish that the Tv in my sisters house would errupt/explode.

[Helen of Annoy]

Granted but the Church sees every other day as being a Work to God day, so you don't get any lie-ins cept on .... no well, you dont't get to sleep in ever!

I wish that the Tv in my sisters house would errupt/explode.

Granted, but the tiny people from inside the TV evacuated in time and now are protesting on your sister’s floor, singing “Give peace a chance”. A bit too late for that. One of them salvaged his guitar too, you won’t get any sleep anymore so we’re even now

I wish it was against the law to use shrill voices in adds.

[Nadia B.]

Granted, but now every ad features that super slow annoying voice your old record player would make on the slowest speed, so it takes you 15 minutes to find out what the ad is for.

I wish I never had to shave my legs again.