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InsanePickle

LMAO. Never ask a ouija board these questions

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InsanePickle

Lol, I just found this while searching for ouija board stories

Never ask the Ouija Board these questions

* Who would win in a girly fist-fight, Christ or Satan?

* Could you make yourself known by burning down my entire block?

* Is it righteous to fart on the unconscious? What would Satan say?

* Am I going to hell for deliberately farting during funeral services?

* Why the hell is my mother so hairy? Could you please tell her to shave? She’s beginning to scare the neighbours?

* Why does my butt bleed when I try to take a crap?

* Why is life completely devoid of meaning?

* Could you please show me pictures of Dick Cheney butt-naked? Please etch these images into my mind’s eye for all eternity!

* Satan, would you like to come to bed with me?

* When I die could you please tell my family that I hate them all and that I’m glad to be rid of them?

* When exactly is the world going to end? Will I be sent to hell if I’m caught pleasuring myself the moment all hell breaks loose?

* Could you please provide me with a list of all of the ex-presidents Satan has slept with?

* Is Satan really that gay? If so, is this the reason God hates gayness so much?

* I want to die right now, is it possible you could send the Grim Reaper to my door ASAP?

* Could you give (person A) a pecker sore on behalf of the Westboro Baptist Church?

http://ouijaboardonline.info/questions-not...the-ouija-board

I just found these to be pretty funny and thought I would share them with you guys.

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lunaticn2008
Lol, I just found this while searching for ouija board stories

Never ask the Ouija Board these questions

* Who would win in a girly fist-fight, Christ or Satan?

* Could you make yourself known by burning down my entire block?

* Is it righteous to fart on the unconscious? What would Satan say?

* Am I going to hell for deliberately farting during funeral services?

* Why the hell is my mother so hairy? Could you please tell her to shave? She’s beginning to scare the neighbours?

* Why does my butt bleed when I try to take a crap?

* Why is life completely devoid of meaning?

* Could you please show me pictures of Dick Cheney butt-naked? Please etch these images into my mind’s eye for all eternity!

* Satan, would you like to come to bed with me?

* When I die could you please tell my family that I hate them all and that I’m glad to be rid of them?

* When exactly is the world going to end? Will I be sent to hell if I’m caught pleasuring myself the moment all hell breaks loose?

* Could you please provide me with a list of all of the ex-presidents Satan has slept with?

* Is Satan really that gay? If so, is this the reason God hates gayness so much?

* I want to die right now, is it possible you could send the Grim Reaper to my door ASAP?

* Could you give (person A) a pecker sore on behalf of the Westboro Baptist Church?

http://ouijaboardonline.info/questions-not...the-ouija-board

I just found these to be pretty funny and thought I would share them with you guys.

yeah that is pertty funny but i deffiantly would not ask any of those questions ouija board is not no game it is a way to communicate with they dead but the main thing is everyone thinks its a passge to hell but it is not there just souls traped in the one time right now not all the spirits are mean

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DerangedFaery

love the tongue in cheek attitude.AND the crack about the pecker sore

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Cr33p

Very funny indeed :D . Too bad they don't work though.

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randomhit10

ha ha.......good questions.......but how do you know not to ask these questions?

randomhit10

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Neognosis
yeah that is pertty funny but i deffiantly would not ask any of those questions ouija board is not no game it is a way to communicate with they dead

A game is exactly what it is. Note that it is made by Parker Brothers, makers of other games such as Risk, Monopoly, Parcheesi.

Ask it if Angels poop. I've always wondered about that one.

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IronGhost
A game is exactly what it is. Note that it is made by Parker Brothers, makers of other games such as Risk, Monopoly, Parcheesi.

This is not really accurate. The Ouija board has been around in one form or another for thousands of years:

The basic concept of the Ouija Board dates back to Pythagoras in 540 BCE. He would interpret messages from the spirit world with his student Phlolaus*2The Apocrypha The concept of the refined Ouija Board was invented in 1853 by French spiritualist, M. Planchette. The Ouija Board was a large piece of paper and the wedge was heartshaped with two wheels on each end. The third end had a pencil attached. Then people one or more people would place their fingers on it and the wedge would move and draw pictures or form words. The modern Ouija Board is now a board with number and letters. The modern board was invented around 1892 by Elija J Bond and William Fuld in Baltimore The wedge or planchette and changed to plastic. All rights to the Ouija Board were purchased by Parker Brother in 1966. The Ouija Board sales has been second only to Monopoly.

Source: (P168-169, Spirit Guides & Angels, Richard Wesbster)

Edited by IronGhost

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NoahJaymes

It's always been a game. We can't honestly sit here and say anyone has been successful with it. Just nobody realized that the piece of crap they tried to invent would be Parker Brothers 2nd best seller how many years later.

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Neognosis
This is not really accurate. The Ouija board has been around in one form or another for thousands of years:

So it's a game that's been around in one form or another for thousands of years. So's checkers.

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IronGhost

Well, everything is life is a "game."

But. anyway, most of the games we have today are spinoffs that resulted from serious scientific research.

For example, Naval engineer Richard James invented was conducting an experiment with tension springs -- and he later realized that "The Slinky" would make a great toy.

Does that means tension springs have no serious applications?

In 1943 James Wright, an engineer working on a way to create a new kind of synthetic rubber. One of his formulas turned out to be "Silly Puddy." A great child's toy.

The fact is, one can take just about any kind of "something" originally developed for serious purposes and turn it into a toy.

Neogensiis and 419 use "flatlander logic" by thinking: Ouija Board = Can be used as toy -- ergo -- it is a toy.

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randomhit10

russian roulette was considered a game by some...the only problem with it was that everyone eventually lost....

randomhit10

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Neognosis
But. anyway, most of the games we have today are spinoffs that resulted from serious scientific research.

What the hell are you talking about?

Monopoly is a result from serious scientific research?

Parchesi is a result of serious scientific research?

How about checkers? What's the scientific research there?

What color is the sky in your world?

You should have said "some" games are the result of scientific research.

Neogensiis and 419 use "flatlander logic" by thinking: Ouija Board = Can be used as toy -- ergo -- it is a toy.

Actually, I use this train of logic:

The ouija board has been proven to be the ideomotor effect in labratory experiments that have been repeated and verified

it is made by a company that produces games and is marketed as a game

Therefore, it is a game.

Common sense tells me that ghosts are not real, and that you can not talk to spirits with a piece of cardboard. You can, however, communicate with yourself.

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NoahJaymes
What the hell are you talking about?

Monopoly is a result from serious scientific research?

Parchesi is a result of serious scientific research?

How about checkers? What's the scientific research there?

What color is the sky in your world?

You should have said "some" games are the result of scientific research.

Actually, I use this train of logic:

The ouija board has been proven to be the ideomotor effect in labratory experiments that have been repeated and verified

it is made by a company that produces games and is marketed as a game

Therefore, it is a game.

Common sense tells me that ghosts are not real, and that you can not talk to spirits with a piece of cardboard. You can, however, communicate with yourself.

:tu:

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randomhit10

just curious...what is flatlander logic?

randomhit10

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IronGhost

Hey man!

I want to tell you about my experience of total disillusionment!

About a year ago, I bought a toy -- it was a wonderful toy -- it is called an Ant Farm. This was a plastic container that contained actual real ants. I could watch the ants go about their daily lives, and I was learning tons of information about the habits and biology of ants.

But guess what? My bubble was burst when I found out that -- GAK! -- the Ant Farm is nothing more than a toy!!!!!!!

How could I have been so fooled! There I was, thinking I was learning a lot of things about the science of entymology, when in fact, the Ant Farm was nothing more than a TOY invented by Milton Livine!!!!!!!!!!

While observing the fake ants in my fake Ant Farm, I got the impression that ants could lift 50 time their own weight-- all bulls**t!!! I was fooled by this very clever TOY.

I now realize that ants don't really work farms, they don't live in narrow plastic containers filled with sand -- all baloney! Now I'm not even sure if ants realy exist!

Well, I will never buy an Ant Farm again. No good can come of it. I was going to try the Ouija Board -- but then I learned it was marketed by Parker's Bros. -- another damned Toy Maker looking for profits!!

Heed my sad story all -- never be fooled by a "toy" again! You will live in a world of fantasy, and you will become detached from reality!

Edited by IronGhost
  • Like 1

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randomhit10
Hey man!

I want to tell you about my experience of total disillusionment!

About a year ago, I bought a toy -- it was a wonderful toy -- it is called an Ant Farm. This was a plastic container that contained actual real ants. I could watch the ants go about their daily lives, and I was learning tons of information about the habits and biology of ants.

But guess what? My bubble was burst when I found out that -- GAK! -- the Ant Farm is nothing more than a toy!!!!!!!

How could I have been so fooled! There I was, thinking I was learning a lot of things about the science of entymology, when in fact, the Ant Farm was nothing more than a TOY invented by Milton Livine!!!!!!!!!!

While observing the fake ants in my fake Ant Farm, I got the impression that ants could lift 50 time their own weight-- all bulls**t!!! I was fooled by this very clever TOY.

I now realize that ants don't really work farms, they don't live in narrow plastic containers filled with sand -- all baloney! Now I'm not even sure if ants realy exist!

Well, I will never buy an Ant Farm again. No good can come of it. I was going to try the Ouija Board -- but then I learned it was marketed by Parker's Bros. -- another damned Toy Maker looking for profits!!

Heed my sad story all -- never be fooled by a "toy" again! You will live in a world of fantasy, and you will become detached from reality!

i know how to prove to you ants are real...lol..........ooppps, was this the definition of flatlander logic?.....

randomhit10

Edited by randomhit10

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IronGhost
i know how to prove to you ants are real...lol..........ooppps, was this the definition of flatlander logic?.....

randomhit10

Oh, hey, Randomhit10, I didn't mean to dodge your question. What is flatlander logic?

Well, consider:

Some here say, the Ouija Board is sold as a toy by Parker Bros. Therefore, it can't be taken seriously. It's a simple A to B argument.

By that logic, we can say that "The Slinky" is a toy. Originally, The Slinky was an experimental tension spring with wide application in industry. Yet, some here would have us believe that because the Slinky is now sold as a toy, it can be completely dsimissed of having any value across the board.

Or how about Silly Puddy? In reality, Silly Puddy is a form of synthetic rubbber. But because it is also marketed as a toy, is now becomes a substance that can be dismissed of having any value at all.

So the Ouija Board is marketed as a toy -- therefore, this all you need to dismiss it of any other value whatesoever.

That's flatlander logic. It's simplistic A to B thinking that does not take into account the multidimensional nature of all reality.

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Neognosis

Yes, ants are real. If you put them in a box with sand and food, they will make things.

Ghosts are not real. Something that is not real will not talk to you through a piece of cardboard.

It's ridiculous that I've actually be sucked into arguing this. It's absurd.

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IronGhost
Yes, ants are real. If you put them in a box with sand and food, they will make things.

Ghosts are not real. Something that is not real will not talk to you through a piece of cardboard.

It's ridiculous that I've actually be sucked into arguing this. It's absurd.

Hey, Neo: We all know that synthetic rubber is marketed as a toy, Silly Puddy. Therefore, we can conslude there is no industrial value to synthetic rubber, right?

After all, that's the argument you are making.

The Ouija board is marketed as a toy -- therefore ............

This is your own argument, isn't it?

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randomhit10
Yes, ants are real. If you put them in a box with sand and food, they will make things.

Ghosts are not real. Something that is not real will not talk to you through a piece of cardboard.

It's ridiculous that I've actually be sucked into arguing this. It's absurd.

life is good, huh? lol

randomhit10

ps....if you stand in an ant bed for a while, accidentially or on purpose you get the same results...whether you like it or not.

Edited by randomhit10

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Neognosis
Hey, Neo: We all know that synthetic rubber is marketed as a toy, Silly Puddy. Therefore, we can conslude there is no industrial value to synthetic rubber, right?

Your logic is flawed. You are making the fallacious statement that if something is true for A, then it must be true for B.

Simply because synthetic rubber (which is neoprene, by the way, not silly putty) has an industrial and recreational purpose, does not mean that you are talking to a ghost through a piece of cardboard.

the statement I am making is that NOT all games have practical purposes, and there is no such thing as ghosts, therefore the ouija board is exactly what it is marketed as...a game.

I would expect poor logical reasoning skills from someone who believes in ghosts and bigfoot. No offense intended, I just think you might be a tad bit suggestable.

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FairyJosie25
Your logic is flawed. You are making the fallacious statement that if something is true for A, then it must be true for B.

Simply because synthetic rubber (which is neoprene, by the way, not silly putty) has an industrial and recreational purpose, does not mean that you are talking to a ghost through a piece of cardboard.

the statement I am making is that NOT all games have practical purposes, and there is no such thing as ghosts, therefore the ouija board is exactly what it is marketed as...a game.

I would expect poor logical reasoning skills from someone who believes in ghosts and bigfoot. No offense intended, I just think you might be a tad bit suggestable.

Well, to people who DO believe in ghosts/demons, YOUR reasoning is poor, and not logical. Those who believe in a spiritual world will see the Ouija board as much more than a harmless toy; they will see it as something that should not be taken lightly, and definitely not 'played' with for 'fun'. On the flip side, people like yourself who do not believe in the spiritual world will always wonder what the fuss is about, because you see it as a harmless toy. Just because someone thinks something is a certain way, doesn't mean they're right. Be careful of making definite statements about something that you don't have personal, concrete proof for. I suggest you ask people on here about Ouija board experiences, and see how many see it as MUCH more than a 'game'.

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Neognosis
Well, to people who DO believe in ghosts/demons, YOUR reasoning is poor, and not logical.

I'm sorry, you don't understand logic then. People who believe in ghosts/demons are, nearly by definition, illogical. I'm not right because I think a certain way. I'm right because my opinion is based on quantifiable and repeatable experimentation and evidence.

Yours is based on nothing but fancy and possibly delusion.

NONE of you have concrete proof for anything you claim. Yet you are allowed to make ridiculous claims?

Asking a group of biased and delusional mental adolescents what the bogey man said to them is not going to provide any proof of anything, except that at the least, some of you have overactive imaginations.

Logic and reason have left the forum.

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