LittleIrishVampiress Posted February 6, 2004 #1 Share Posted February 6, 2004 My Saviour, I'm Lost Diary Entry One September 21st 1775 I found this charming little journal amoung my dear Uncle Nicolas's many books and precious documents. Is it sarcasim you detect in my words? Cynicism? Resentment, even? Well, I have my reasons. To put down in words how I feel and the events of these passing days I believe may be the only escape from the utter madness and insanity that threatens my very soul. At times I feel I'm being swept away and spun round and round in an invisible whirlwind where I can hear the anguished cries of many other dreadful souls. I desperately try to grab a hold of something to anchor me, I desperately try to grab a hold of my sanity. What's left of it, that is. They say i have lost my reason. I agree. They also say I've been a very bold boy, a trouble - maker, an impossible young man who should be locked up. Locked up? Wherever should they lock me up? My brother has given me me a many beating these days, as my pathetic excuse for a father could'nt possibly do it himself. The coward gets me when I'm down, when I've turned my back and have tried to walk away, he corners me when I have no means of defending myself. Yet I have never let him walk away without a bruise or a scratch, a black - eye or a sprained arm. Coward. My sister threatens me with harsh words. She says i shall burn in hell for eternity for my blasphemy. Blasphemy? I'm not a blasphemer. Well, then again maybe i am, though not intentionally. I mean, I say what I feel and sometimes what I feel can be quite disturbing and quite simply not pleasant to hear. I have no faith in God. Ah, yes. God! How my family may tremble at the mere mention of the Almighty! Well, I best go now. It's my turn to go hunting for our dinner. A few tender and juicy wild rabbits! Actually, now that I think of it, I am very hungry. Oh, how I pity the little bunny rabbit that crosses my path today! So, for now it's farewell, till I write again. Francois de Valois Diary Entry Two September 22nd 1775 I am not in a good mood for writing today, but as I've said, it might be my only salvation. Why am I such a tormented little soul, you ask? I have my reasons. Though I do not know who 'you' are. Who shall ever get thou dirty little hands upon my journal? Read of my deepest thoughts and feelings? Would it be a good read? Well, never mind. My reasons. My family torment my soul, or at least they add to the torment. I believe I was always the miserble creature I am, after all, I don't remember a single happy moment in all my life, not one pleasant memory stored in my mind. Loneliness and sadness turned into hate and resentment and i think the hate and resentment have left me simply maddened and insane. And lost. I've written enough for today. I cannot deny that I feel relief for writing these things, but it hurts all the same. Hurting. I'm sick of it. Francois de Valois Diary Entry Three September 23rd 1775 Hello again. I'm in a better mood today, closest thing to a good mood I've ever been. Why the better mood? I've never laughed so much in all my fifteen years than I've laughed today! It was a scornful laugh, yes, a spiteful laugh, but what the hell! I laughed! I laughed until the tears poured out of my eyes and down my face uncontrolably and I was curled up in a ball clutching my stomach upon the floor. It was madness. I could hear nothing but the horrible sound that was my own shrieks of laughter. I couldn't breathe! Hysteria. My sister looked upon me in utter terror and horror, tears sliding her face, tears of sorrow and grief, not laughter. It was horrific of me to be laughing, but I couldn't help it. She had asked me to pray for father, that father was dying. Dying? Dying! Sure, didnt we all now he was dying! Pray? Pray! What ever did she mean? That I should pray his death would not be painful? That I should pray he would ascend into the blessed 'light'? Nonsense. He would simply die and that was that. My sister is now completely convinced I'm posessed by the Devil Himself. Posessed by the Devil? Nonsense. I am the Devil! Francois de Valois Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleIrishVampiress Posted February 6, 2004 Author #2 Share Posted February 6, 2004 ye are welcome to critisize! actually, please do! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moe eubleck Posted February 7, 2004 #3 Share Posted February 7, 2004 how completely and utterly depressing. Keep up the good work. Aside from a few spelling errors (no one is perfect) , it was very well written. I especially liked the third entry. The image you created of his insane luaghter was quite vivid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babyforrest Posted February 7, 2004 #4 Share Posted February 7, 2004 I agree. The third entry was the best. Can't wait to hear more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doomgirl Posted February 7, 2004 #5 Share Posted February 7, 2004 good so far but I'm the devil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleIrishVampiress Posted February 7, 2004 Author #6 Share Posted February 7, 2004 thanx for the replys. im working on the rest! note to self:listen to english teacher when she insists you learn to spell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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