Finsup22 Posted May 1, 2008 #101 Share Posted May 1, 2008 Thou Shall rejoice in all that is little Friday, for it brings forth the comming of the most glorious work day of them all. *man what a freakn' week* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Promethius Posted May 1, 2008 #102 Share Posted May 1, 2008 Thou shalt not wear speedo swimming trunks (for they art evil) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiffSplitkins Posted May 1, 2008 Author #103 Share Posted May 1, 2008 Thou shalt not wear speedo swimming trunks (for they art evil)\ Ah - good point, speaking of which... Thou shalt not wear anything higher than knee length if thy thighs resemble cottage cheese. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tcgram Posted May 1, 2008 #104 Share Posted May 1, 2008 Thou shalt not wear anything higher than knee length if thy thighs resemble cottage cheese. Also, thou shalt not wear anything low cut if thy breasts are on thy stomach. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Donuts Posted May 2, 2008 #105 Share Posted May 2, 2008 Thou Shalt Make Random Sandwhiches Made Out Of Colgate And Chicken At Three AM if They Are Drunk..... If They Are Sober Then Shame On Them... Thou Shalt Pay For Beer, If They Lose The Bet! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolf MacCanine Posted May 2, 2008 #106 Share Posted May 2, 2008 If thou forget that thou has driven to work and end up walking home,only to end up calling someone for a ride to pick up thy vehicle hours later...it is only fitting that you get teased when you make the mistake of telling thy co-workers about the incident. (True event...was told about it at work this evening). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theSOURCE Posted May 2, 2008 #107 Share Posted May 2, 2008 Since the commandments are going so well I guess someone should get started on writing the Biff bible.* The Book of Source 1:1 In the land of UM, there was a man named Source; and that man maketh posts with sincerity and jocularity, and feared the wrath of the mighty moderators. 1:2 Though he was not the possessor of all knowledge, he strove to entertain those that be in need of entertainment, for his heart was filled with kindness and his mind was filled with something else. 1:3 He traveled the threads of UM alone, until the beautiful and charming Lilly entered the forum. 1:4 She possessed great knowledge of many things, and shared her knowledge with those who sought enlightenment. 1:5 And all who looked upon her agreed as one that she be a hot babe amongst women. 1:6 But Source had no time to chatteth her up, for a foul dragon came among his neighbors. 1:7 And this demon tormented the young women of the area with vile and unclean text messages. 1:8 So his heart now filled with bravery, and his mind still filled with something else, Source confronted the beast. 1:9 And he spoke, Foul dragon I cometh to slay thee, for thou art a pestilence amongst my neighbors. 1:10 And the dragon replied, WTF? 1:11 So a terrible battle ensued, and many watched as man and beast sought to kill one another. 1:12 Long was the battle, but with courage and faith in himself Source smote the dragon, and held his mighty sword up high for all to see. 1:13 But his wounds were many, and soon he lay dying in Lilly's arms. 1:14 And he spoke to her, Dear Lilly would thou givest me one kiss before my death? 1:15 And Lilly replied, Eew. Thou be covered in filth and dragon's blood. No way. 1:16 So Source died and was allowed to pass to the highest level which was 20, for in level 21 only Biff may dwell. *No offence meant towards anyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiffSplitkins Posted May 2, 2008 Author #108 Share Posted May 2, 2008 Since the commandments are going so well I guess someone should get started on writing the Biff bible.* The Book of Source 1:1 In the land of UM, there was a man named Source; and that man maketh posts with sincerity and jocularity, and feared the wrath of the mighty moderators. 1:2 Though he was not the possessor of all knowledge, he strove to entertain those that be in need of entertainment, for his heart was filled with kindness and his mind was filled with something else. 1:3 He traveled the threads of UM alone, until the beautiful and charming Lilly entered the forum. 1:4 She possessed great knowledge of many things, and shared her knowledge with those who sought enlightenment. 1:5 And all who looked upon her agreed as one that she be a hot babe amongst women. 1:6 But Source had no time to chatteth her up, for a foul dragon came among his neighbors. 1:7 And this demon tormented the young women of the area with vile and unclean text messages. 1:8 So his heart now filled with bravery, and his mind still filled with something else, Source confronted the beast. 1:9 And he spoke, Foul dragon I cometh to slay thee, for thou art a pestilence amongst my neighbors. 1:10 And the dragon replied, WTF? 1:11 So a terrible battle ensued, and many watched as man and beast sought to kill one another. 1:12 Long was the battle, but with courage and faith in himself Source smote the dragon, and held his mighty sword up high for all to see. 1:13 But his wounds were many, and soon he lay dying in Lilly's arms. 1:14 And he spoke to her, Dear Lilly would thou givest me one kiss before my death? 1:15 And Lilly replied, Eew. Thou be covered in filth and dragon's blood. No way. 1:16 So Source died and was allowed to pass to the highest level which was 20, for in level 21 only Biff may dwell. *No offence meant towards anyone. OMFG - I think I just pee'd myself that was great! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eqgumby Posted May 2, 2008 #109 Share Posted May 2, 2008 Number one commandment: Thou shalt be excellent to each other. Number two commandment: Thou shalt revere any and all dishes that utilize cheese, bacon, and hop-filled beverages. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Finsup22 Posted May 2, 2008 #110 Share Posted May 2, 2008 Our most glorious cat came to me in a dream last nigh. Thy holy feline foretold of great things happening on the days of Fri. Lunches will nay be brown bagged, but take-out from thyne favorite vendors of food. Thy hours shall fly by, and beer shall be flowing freely in the hour’s of afternoon. All praise the cat! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
War Eagle Posted May 2, 2008 #111 Share Posted May 2, 2008 Thou Shalt not play ignorant when pulled over by police for doing 130km an hour in a 80 zone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melvinator Posted May 2, 2008 #112 Share Posted May 2, 2008 Thou shalt recognize jolt cola as a holy beverage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plainbob13 Posted May 2, 2008 #113 Share Posted May 2, 2008 Thou shalt not pass gas and blame it on the nearest fourlegged animal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Donuts Posted May 3, 2008 #114 Share Posted May 3, 2008 Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Buddie's Hot Girlfriend/Mother... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolf MacCanine Posted May 3, 2008 #115 Share Posted May 3, 2008 Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Buddie's Hot Girlfriend/Mother... Ummm...why not? If they're good looking and willing...I see no problem. ... Thou shalt keep this crazed puppy's (me) bowl full of Newcastle Brown Ale at all times,for if I have none...I can be more dangerous than His Amazing Biffiness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
my_psychosis Posted May 4, 2008 #116 Share Posted May 4, 2008 Number one commandment: Thou shalt be excellent to each other. Number two commandment: Thou shalt revere any and all dishes that utilize cheese, bacon, and hop-filled beverages. Here Here!!!! Thou shalt not ever miss an episode of Dexter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilly Posted May 5, 2008 #117 Share Posted May 5, 2008 1:14 And he spoke to her, Dear Lilly would thou givest me one kiss before my death? 1:15 And Lilly replied, Eew. Thou be covered in filth and dragon's blood. No way. Well, this particular *Lilly* isn't all that grossed out by "filth and dragon's blood" (ie, she'd have given him the kiss!). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magikal Posted May 5, 2008 #118 Share Posted May 5, 2008 Thous Shalt not allow Butt Cracketh to Showeth - Ever ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
my_psychosis Posted May 5, 2008 #119 Share Posted May 5, 2008 Though shalt not let thy bare stomach hang out, uncovered over thy pants. Male or Female!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plainbob13 Posted May 5, 2008 #120 Share Posted May 5, 2008 Thou shall not wear spandex if thou are over weight. Thou shall not wear a thong if thou has to turn sideways to get through a door. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiffSplitkins Posted May 6, 2008 Author #121 Share Posted May 6, 2008 Thou shall not wear spandex if thou are over weight. Thou shall not wear a thong if thou has to turn sideways to get through a door. I guess as long as we're on the clothing commandments... Thou shalt not 'SAG' one's pants... it makes you look stupid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolf MacCanine Posted May 6, 2008 #122 Share Posted May 6, 2008 I guess as long as we're on the clothing commandments... Thou shalt not 'SAG' one's pants... it makes you look stupid. I wholeheartedly agree with this one! I saw a silly human the other day wearing sweat pants that were extremely larger than what he should've been wearing for his skinny frame.He could barely walk in them,and had to keep pulling them up while he tried to walk.And yes..he looked like he was very stupid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bear's Quest Posted May 7, 2008 #123 Share Posted May 7, 2008 Thou shalt not wear suspenders and a belt with your trousers. It look like you can't trust your pants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Promethius Posted May 7, 2008 #124 Share Posted May 7, 2008 Thou shalt make much use of jack-daniels T-shirts... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiffSplitkins Posted May 8, 2008 Author #125 Share Posted May 8, 2008 Thou shalt not unlodge lung oysters onto sidewalks so that others slip on them like banana peels. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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