Pyrophobia

[MysticOnion]

It doesn't matter how much I try or rationalise it in my mind - I can't see past the phobia. When my kids were born I made sure I had an enormous fire guard and I bought that before anything else because I was so phobic about them going near the fire. I can't fry things - I have panic attacks and anxiety trying to fry breakfast for my son because he wants full English breakfasts sometimes - I am pretty sure the bacon is under done and I can't have two different types of food in a frying pan, nor fry eggs very well, and definately NEVER fry sausages. I always turn the gas down if it starts to bubble or spit. Even just lighting the gas cooker can be really difficult. It is a major thing to light a match and I hate it if my children who are now in their teens, want to cook because I keep thinking one of them will have an accident with a frying pan or a chip pan or light the cooker wrong or something like that and so I have to do it all myself. When I am cooking no one else can come into the kitchen in case something goes wrong. If its someones birthday they don't get candles - one or two was ok when they were small, but now my daughter is 18 and 18 candles is an inferno. I have visions of her hair going up in flames as she goes to blow them out or something and it makes me feel ill. I am really panicky and worried on bonfire night, I can't watch street entertainers who juggle fire and keep a wide distance if I see that. Pyrophobia ruined my course at university, I was doing crafts and what happened was, the tutor was showing us how to work with metal - and he used a FLAME THROWER right in front of me and I couldn't move.. I was frozen on the spot. My kids say that they can do this thing with a Bunsen burner where there is a blueish flame that doesn't burn you and they can put their hands through it - but I can't even think about that - I can't do it. I can't even put out a candle with my finger and thumb like some people do, and when lighting candles AT ALL I am the most careful person in the whole world.

Pyrophobia is ruining my life yet I can't see past it, there's no way I can put my hand in a bunsen burner or light a fire or allow my kids to fry their breakfast or anything! Yet people say they can self-hypnotise themselves into overcoming this. HOW???

[Odin11]

Forget self-hypnotizing, it has a high relapse. Systematic Desensitization or gradual exposure is your best shot at overcoming this. You should go to a psychologist and ask about them. But if a psychologist is too much money, I may be able to help you to be able to do it yourself, with a little help.

People tense their muscles under stress, intensifying their uneasiness. Most are unaware of these contractions. What you need to learn is how to monitor muscle tension and relaxation.

Relaxation should be practiced in a favorable setting. Make the room warm and comfortable. Dim sources of light. Loosen tight clothing. Tighten muscles about two thirds as hard as you could if you were trying your hardest. If you sense that a muscle could have a spasm, you are tighten too much. After tensing, let go of tensions completely.

Now settle back as comfortably as you can. Let yourself relax to the best of your ability. Now as you relax like that, clench your fist, just clench your fist tighter and tighter, and study the tension as you do so. Keep it clenched and feel the tension in your right fist, hand, forearm… and now relax. Let the fingers of your right hand become loose, and observe the contrast in your feelings. Now, let yourself go and try to become more relaxed all over. Repeat this again with your right hand. Now repeat that with your left fist. Now do the opposite of tension- relax and feel the difference. Now clench both fists tighter and together, both fists tense, forearms tense, study the sensations… and relax; straighten out your fingers and feel that relaxation. Continue relaxing your hands and forearms more and more… Now bend your elbows and tense your biceps, study the tension, straighten out your arms, let them relax and feel that difference again. Now straighten your arms, so that you feel tension in the triceps muscles along the back of your arms… and now relax. Now concentrate on pure relaxation in the arms with out any tension. Get your arms comfortable and let them relax further and further; try to achieve deeper and deeper levels of relaxation.

Now if you do the above to your: facial area, neck; chest, stomach, and lower back muscles; the hips, thighs, and calves; and so on.

This teaches you to relax when you feel anxiety. Focusing on soothing mental imagery also helps one to relax.

You need to construct a hierarchy of fears. Identify as many anxiety-provoking stimuli as possible (at lease 15 such associated stimuli). List all of the stimuli along with an assessment of the level of fear associated with each stimulus. 1 to 100. For ex.

Anxiety Stimulus

5 Picture of fire

8 The word “fire”

50 Frying sausages

100 lighting a bonfire

Put yourself into a state of deep relaxation (Using the above). Someone you trust then presents the least anxiety provoking stimulus. If you remain relax in the presence of the stimuli, you go on to the next stimulus on the hierarchy. If you get fearful and tense, the person helping you signals you to put yourself in a state of relaxation again. When you are relaxed again the person shows you the stimuli again. If you stay relax, you go on up the list.

Using this method, you can sometimes dispel a fear or phobia in a few sessions. I hope this helps.

On a side note, I have the opposite problem; I’m a pyromaniac. Not in the sense of a disorder, I just love fire. As a hobby I blacksmith and you can’t do that with out fire.

Edited February 10, 2009 by Odin11

[eight bits]

Oriana, when somebody has a psychological problem which interferes with her normal functioning, then she should seek professional advice. Or, at the very least, she should avoid soliciting advice on a web forum.

Nobody who knows what they are doing would diagnose and treat somebody whom they have not met and examined.

If you prefer to take the initiative yourself, then you can get advice about what treatments are currently available for phobias from reliable consumer medical information websites. Then you can decide what course you would like to pursue.

Good luck with it.

[MysticOnion]

Forget self-hypnotizing, it has a high relapse. Systematic Desensitization or gradual exposure is your best shot at overcoming this. You should go to a psychologist and ask about them. But if a psychologist is too much money, I may be able to help you to be able to do it yourself, with a little help.

People tense their muscles under stress, intensifying their uneasiness. Most are unaware of these contractions. What you need to learn is how to monitor muscle tension and relaxation.

Relaxation should be practiced in a favorable setting. Make the room warm and comfortable. Dim sources of light. Loosen tight clothing. Tighten muscles about two thirds as hard as you could if you were trying your hardest. If you sense that a muscle could have a spasm, you are tighten too much. After tensing, let go of tensions completely.

Now settle back as comfortably as you can. Let yourself relax to the best of your ability. Now as you relax like that, clench your fist, just clench your fist tighter and tighter, and study the tension as you do so. Keep it clenched and feel the tension in your right fist, hand, forearm… and now relax. Let the fingers of your right hand become loose, and observe the contrast in your feelings. Now, let yourself go and try to become more relaxed all over. Repeat this again with your right hand. Now repeat that with your left fist. Now do the opposite of tension- relax and feel the difference. Now clench both fists tighter and together, both fists tense, forearms tense, study the sensations… and relax; straighten out your fingers and feel that relaxation. Continue relaxing your hands and forearms more and more… Now bend your elbows and tense your biceps, study the tension, straighten out your arms, let them relax and feel that difference again. Now straighten your arms, so that you feel tension in the triceps muscles along the back of your arms… and now relax. Now concentrate on pure relaxation in the arms with out any tension. Get your arms comfortable and let them relax further and further; try to achieve deeper and deeper levels of relaxation.

Now if you do the above to your: facial area, neck; chest, stomach, and lower back muscles; the hips, thighs, and calves; and so on.

This teaches you to relax when you feel anxiety. Focusing on soothing mental imagery also helps one to relax.

You need to construct a hierarchy of fears. Identify as many anxiety-provoking stimuli as possible (at lease 15 such associated stimuli). List all of the stimuli along with an assessment of the level of fear associated with each stimulus. 1 to 100. For ex.

Anxiety Stimulus

5 Picture of fire

8 The word “fire”

50 Frying sausages

100 lighting a bonfire

Put yourself into a state of deep relaxation (Using the above). Someone you trust then presents the least anxiety provoking stimulus. If you remain relax in the presence of the stimuli, you go on to the next stimulus on the hierarchy. If you get fearful and tense, the person helping you signals you to put yourself in a state of relaxation again. When you are relaxed again the person shows you the stimuli again. If you stay relax, you go on up the list.

Using this method, you can sometimes dispel a fear or phobia in a few sessions. I hope this helps.

On a side note, I have the opposite problem; I’m a pyromaniac. Not in the sense of a disorder, I just love fire. As a hobby I blacksmith and you can’t do that with out fire.

Thanks for the advice - I am familiar with the relaxation techniques and I have practised meditation so I should be able to get into that state.. I'm just as afraid to tackle the problem as the problem itself! I'll try what you said and see if it makes any difference.

Oriana, when somebody has a psychological problem which interferes with her normal functioning, then she should seek professional advice. Or, at the very least, she should avoid soliciting advice on a web forum.

Nobody who knows what they are doing would diagnose and treat somebody whom they have not met and examined.

If you prefer to take the initiative yourself, then you can get advice about what treatments are currently available for phobias from reliable consumer medical information websites. Then you can decide what course you would like to pursue.

Good luck with it.

Well I just wondered if anyone knew of a self -hypnosis technique that could overcome a phobia - I've never really come across one, and if anyone has told me anything its never worked. I thought maybe because they didn't understand the intensity of the phobia, maybe they think it can be overcome in a few sessions - but it is really intense and I don't know if I can actually get past it. I actually think my reactions to fire are normal and its only recently that I've come to accept that they aren't and the anxiety I feel is abnormal. I think everyone is is crazy and should react like I do. I know thats wrong and I know I'm the one with the problem. As it is I don't have a university degree because I couldn't do the flame thrower... it really put me off the rest of the course as well. What I'm saying is its so ingrained in my psyche that it would take more than a self hypnosis technique to overcome it. The advice you have given is great and maybe I should go to the doc and get a referral for a psychologist or something. If I can't get over it I'll have to find some way to live with it. Thing is as well - I've never been burned and the worst experience with fire was when our kitchen was gutted when I was a kid, there's been nothing else.. and anyways by the time the kitchen fire happened I was already bad with pyrophobia even then. I don't know what the source of it is.. to me thats a mystery.