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In case you needed further proof that the human race

is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label

instructions on consumer goods.

1. On Sears hairdryer:

"Do not use while sleeping."

(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

2. On a bag of Fritos:

"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."

(Evidently, the shoplifter special.)

3. On a bar of Dial soap:

"Directions: Use like regular soap."

(And that would be how...?)

4. On some Swanson frozen dinners:

"Serving suggestions: Defrost."

(But it's *just* a suggestion.)

5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box):

"Do not turn upside down."

(DOH! too late!)

6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

"Product will be hot after heating."

(As night follows the day...)

7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron:

"Do not iron clothes on body."

(But wouldn't this save even more time?)

8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:

"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we

could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

9. On Nytol Sleep Aid:

"Warning: May cause drowsiness."

(One would hope.)

10. On most brands of Christmas lights:

"For indoor or outdoor use only."

(As opposed to what?)

11. On a Japanese food processor:

"Not to be used for the other use."

(I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

12. On Sainsbury's peanuts:

"Warning: Contains nuts."


13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts:

"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

(Step 3: Fly Delta.)

14. On a child's Superman costume:

"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

(I don't blame the company, I blame parents for this one.)

15. On a Swedish chain saw:

"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."

(Was there a chance of this happening somewhere? Good grief.)

16. On a bottle of Palmolive Dishwashing liquid:

"Do not use on food."

(Hey, Mom, we're out of syrup! It's okay honey just grab the Palmolive!)

17. On a tube of Crest Toothpaste:

"If swallowed contact poison control."

(Oh please. Have you ever heard about someone

dying from swallowing a little toothpaste?)

18. On a bottle of ALL laundry detergent:

"Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine."

(Hey no more swimming in the washing machine kids.)

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:sr I thought they made perfect sense..................

*wonders if people will notice that she has her tongue firmly placed in cheek?

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in my mobile phone instruction book it says

"Do not place you're phone in a microwave oven as this could cause damage to the phone or microwave"



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