Church of Scientology on trial for fraud

[+DieChecker]

Apparently christianity wasn't as crazy to him... That's what direction he steered into.

Scientology President: You see, Stan, there is a reason for people feeling sad and depressed. An alien reason. It all began 75 million years ago. Back then there was a galactic federation of planets which was ruled over by the evil Lord Xenu. Xenu thought his galaxy was overpopulated, and so he rounded up countless aliens from all different planets, and then had those aliens frozen. The frozen alien bodies were loaded onto Xenu's galactic cruisers, which looked like DC-8s, except with rocket engines. The cruisers then took the frozen alien bodies to our planet, Earth, and dumped them into the volcanoes of Hawaii. The aliens were no longer frozen, they were dead. The souls of those aliens, however, lived on, and all floated up towards the sky. But the evil Lord Xenu had prepared for this. Xenu didn't want their souls to return! And so he built giant soul-catchers in the sky! The souls were taken to a huge soul brain-washing facility, which Xenu had also built on Earth. There the souls were forced to watch days of brainwashing material which tricked them into believing a false reality. Xenu then released the alien souls, which roamed the earth aimlessly in a fog of confusion. At the dawn of man, the souls finally found bodies which they could grab onto. They attached themselves to all mankind, which still to this day causes all our fears, our confusions, and our problems. L. Ron Hubbard did an amazing thing telling the world this incredible truth. Now all we're asking you to do is pick up where he left off.

-South Park, Trapped in the Closet

Christianity...

The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.

Yeah, Manson isn't really all on base here.

At least Jesus did not fly around in a DC-8.

And what about Xenu? Is that no-goodnik still out there and ready to eliminate mankind for messing with his trapped spirit enemies? Doubtless his DC-8s will be in the skys shortly and throw us all back into the Hawaii volcanos. Dear me!!!

[+DieChecker]

And what about Xenu? Is that no-goodnik still out there and ready to eliminate mankind for messing with his trapped spirit enemies? Doubtless his DC-8s will be in the skys shortly and throw us all back into the Hawaii volcanos. Dear me!!!

Oh. It seems Xenu was captured and imprisoned. Only the mid to upper level Scientologists probably know where though.

A government faction known as the Loyal Officers finally overthrew Xenu and his renegades, and locked him away in "an electronic mountain trap" from which he still has not escaped. Although the location of Xenu is sometimes said to be the Pyrenees on Earth, this is actually the location Hubbard gave elsewhere for an ancient "Martian report station". Teegeeack/Earth was subsequently abandoned by the Galactic Confederacy and remains a pariah "prison planet" to this day, although it has suffered repeatedly from incursions by alien "Invader Forces" since that time.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xenu

Maybe if we send a manned mission to Mars we'll find old Xenu. Maybe it will be like the beginning of the first Transformers Movie, Xenu rising from the sands and looking to get our technology so he can get back on top.