+HerNibs Posted June 29, 2009 #151 Share Posted June 29, 2009 Could it not be that he wasn't psychologically able to deal with it, such as being bipolar? It's interesting the difference in attitude, being that the topic of suicide has come up in the past on UM, between that and him just outright killing himself? If he had commited suicide, without killing her, I think the attitude would be much different and very little would have been said about his sexual insecurities and all about his mental illness. If he had committed suicide and just left a note that basically said "I'm unhappy and want to die." I would speculate that he did have a bipolar disorder or some other type of mental instability. If he had committed suicide and left a note saying that "I'm killing myself because I had sex with some one I thought was a woman and was really a man." then my discussions and thoughts wouldn't be any different towards him. He still would be dead because this situation caused him to somehow doubt is idea of what his sexuality was. I just wouldn't find it AS reprehensible because he did not opt to "take anyone with him". If I married a man who could physically have sex with me and he didn't tell me before we were married I would be angry and hurt. Because if I really loved him unconditionally then it wouldn't matter if we couldn't have sex and he should have known that and because he decieved me. I have no objection with some one killing themselves. No, I'm not condoning it. I am just not in a position to judge it. Nibs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wexler Posted June 29, 2009 #152 Share Posted June 29, 2009 (edited) It wasn't informed consent, she lied to him. That's a violation. He didn't even claim he was violated...that's implied by his own suicide attempt. When a female rape victim can't handle it, she's given pity but this guy is treated like crap by the people in this threat. Sexist views is what I see. Adams apple isn't limited to guys... Many women have them. It all depends on your body. this Edited June 29, 2009 by wexler Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+HerNibs Posted June 29, 2009 #153 Share Posted June 29, 2009 this This what? Care to expand? Nibs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eternal Light Posted June 29, 2009 #154 Share Posted June 29, 2009 He didn't even claim he was violated...that's implied by his own suicide attempt. Well, no Kratos, that's supposition, unless you know more than we do? We can only speculate as to why he attempted suicide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+HerNibs Posted June 29, 2009 #155 Share Posted June 29, 2009 this QUOTE (__Kratos__ @ Jun 29 2009, 04:06 AM) It wasn't informed consent, she lied to him. That's a violation. He didn't even claim he was violated...that's implied by his own suicide attempt. When a female rape victim can't handle it, she's given pity but this guy is treated like crap by the people in this threat. Sexist views is what I see. Adams apple isn't limited to guys... Many women have them. It all depends on your body. IMO - he wasn't raped. He was decived. NOT THE SAME THING. Nibs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted June 29, 2009 #156 Share Posted June 29, 2009 If he had committed suicide and just left a note that basically said "I'm unhappy and want to die." I would speculate that he did have a bipolar disorder or some other type of mental instability. If he had committed suicide and left a note saying that "I'm killing myself because I had sex with some one I thought was a woman and was really a man." then my discussions and thoughts wouldn't be any different towards him. He still would be dead because this situation caused him to somehow doubt is idea of what his sexuality was. I just wouldn't find it AS reprehensible because he did not opt to "take anyone with him". If I married a man who could physically have sex with me and he didn't tell me before we were married I would be angry and hurt. Because if I really loved him unconditionally then it wouldn't matter if we couldn't have sex and he should have known that and because he decieved me. I have no objection with some one killing themselves. No, I'm not condoning it. I am just not in a position to judge it. Nibs But we don't know how violated, deceived, dejected or immoralized he felt. One could argue that ANYONE that tries to commit suicide is mentaly unstable from the get go...having little to do with the facts in this case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+HerNibs Posted June 29, 2009 #157 Share Posted June 29, 2009 But we don't know how violated, deceived, dejected or immoralized he felt. One could argue that ANYONE that tries to commit suicide is mentaly unstable from the get go...having little to do with the facts in this case. Well, if he has stated that it was because SHE started life out as a HE then I think we can conclude what the source of his issue is. If he had just killed himself then I would agree that anything we state is a speculation. Additionally, I agree with you that anyone who does commit suicide (unless terminally ill and in pain) does have mental issues. Nibs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eternal Light Posted June 29, 2009 #158 Share Posted June 29, 2009 Oh gosh! To my shame I did not read the OP article, but what a way for the poor guy to find out. It appears that she did not tell him at all, about her change of gender... This in no way condones the murder, but it does speak volumes about the emotional state he was in; altho he does not say that he will attempt suicide, he actually says that he must go away for two years. Why two is anyone's guess. Vladimir of southern Russian city of Volgograd shot Kamilla dead near a railway station after he learned that his partner had undergone sexual reassignment surgery at an Australian clinic, they said. "I can not forgive such betrayal. I must leave For two years I&aposve been devoted to her, my beloved Kamilla, and he betrayed me," Vladimir wrote in his note before slitting his veins in a suicide attempt. The couple lived happily for two years before Vladimir, 33, proposed marriage to his 30-year-old girlfriend Kamilla. but, when Kamilla rejected his proposal, it made the man jealous and he began to spy on her, RIA Novosti reported. He cracked the password to access Kamilla&aposs e-mail account and was surprised to find out that almost all her friends addressed the woman by Kirill, a male name. Vladimir started exchanging letters with Kamilla&aposs friends using her e-mail account and got to know that Kirill had undergone a surgery for gender-change, the report said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted June 29, 2009 #159 Share Posted June 29, 2009 Well, if he has stated that it was because SHE started life out as a HE then I think we can conclude what the source of his issue is. If he had just killed himself then I would agree that anything we state is a speculation. Additionally, I agree with you that anyone who does commit suicide (unless terminally ill and in pain) does have mental issues. Nibs He was obviously devasted and we can't honestly say that this was the only issue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+HerNibs Posted June 29, 2009 #160 Share Posted June 29, 2009 He was obviously devasted and we can't honestly say that this was the only issue. I agree, I can't say that this was his only issue. I'm only working with what I have read in the article. Reading the article it appears that he corresponded with people posing as "her". It didn't say he did this after he left her just that he decided to spy on her, hack her email and pose as her with her friends. I'm assuming that some amount of time went by. Even if it was a few days he didn't decide to kill her and himself until he found out that she was born in a male body. If more information surfaces that he had other problems then I will happily change my mind but as it stands it was based on her being born in a male body that made him decide to kill her and himself. He didn't do it the day she turned him down for marriage. Nibs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eternal Light Posted June 29, 2009 #161 Share Posted June 29, 2009 as it stands it was based on her being born in a male body that made him decide to kill her and himself. He didn't do it the day she turned him down for marriage. Nibs I think I would have to agree... Whether the anger and rage built up slowly, finally reaching a crescendo, whilst reading her emails and corresponding with her friends, or whether the murder was premeditated is anyone's guess. But, he did not do it on the spur of the moment. It was not done on impulse... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Hill Posted June 29, 2009 #162 Share Posted June 29, 2009 There's plenty of women, I'm sure, who have been fooled by a hairy woman with a strapon. Yet they didn't go and kill them. No, they took the deceit, graciously. Perhaps, that is another one of those nice differences between the sexes, we can all reflect upon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atom286 Posted June 29, 2009 #163 Share Posted June 29, 2009 (edited) There's plenty of women, I'm sure, who have been fooled by a hairy woman with a strapon. Yet they didn't go and kill them. No, they took the deceit, graciously. Perhaps, that is another one of those nice differences between the sexes, we can all reflect upon. We should all have a vote on if killing her was wrong. You can vote for- 1. Killing her was wrong. 2. Killing her was legally wrong but I understand why he did it and sympathise with him. 3. The man has been violated and should be released or have his sentence reduced by a large amount. 4. The man was violated, acted correctly and the state has no right to punish him for it. I'm voting number 4 Edited June 29, 2009 by atom286 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+HerNibs Posted June 29, 2009 #164 Share Posted June 29, 2009 (edited) We should all have a vote on if killing her was wrong. You can vote for- 1. Killing her was wrong 2. Killing her was legally wrong but I understand why he did it and sympathise with him. 3. The man has been violated and should be realised or have his sentence reduced by a large amount. 4. The man was violated, acted correctly and the state has no right to punish him for it. I'm voting number 4 Why don't you go ahead and create that poll? In the poll you can explain exactly how he was violated. The answer is #1. Violence and murder is NEVER an acceptable answer. Nibs But it is nice to see that you are referring to the victim as her rather than any rude, unacceptable or derogatory terms. *edit to add ^^this Edited June 29, 2009 by HerNibs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eternal Light Posted June 29, 2009 #165 Share Posted June 29, 2009 There's plenty of women, I'm sure, who have been fooled by a hairy woman with a strapon. Yet they didn't go and kill them. No, they took the deceit, graciously. Perhaps, that is another one of those nice differences between the sexes, we can all reflect upon. lol. er... no! We women would notice a lil thing like a 'strapon?' We should all have a vote on if killing her was wrong. You can vote for- 1. Killing her was wrong. 2. Killing her was legally wrong but I understand why he did it and sympathise with him. 3. The man has been violated and should be released or have his sentence reduced by a large amount. 4. The man was violated, acted correctly and the state has no right to punish him for it. I'm voting number 4 Nothing personal atom, but I'm gonna have to go for 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaikou Posted June 29, 2009 #166 Share Posted June 29, 2009 We should all have a vote on if killing her was wrong. You can vote for- 1. Killing her was wrong. 2. Killing her was legally wrong but I understand why he did it and sympathise with him. 3. The man has been violated and should be released or have his sentence reduced by a large amount. 4. The man was violated, acted correctly and the state has no right to punish him for it. I'm voting number 4 I would also vote for Number one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atom286 Posted June 29, 2009 #167 Share Posted June 29, 2009 Why don't you go ahead and create that poll? In the poll you can explain exactly how he was violated. The answer is #1. Violence and murder is NEVER an acceptable answer. Nibs But it is nice to see that you are referring to the victim as her rather than any rude, unacceptable or derogatory terms. *edit to add ^^this We have to behave in a correct and proper manner on these forum boards or we get banned. Therefore my mocking of the dead transexual and all derogartory comments will only bespoken about in the pub. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atom286 Posted June 29, 2009 #168 Share Posted June 29, 2009 I would also vote for Number one. So you're saying you dont even sympatise with the bloke or cant understand why he reacted the way he did. Thats harsh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+HerNibs Posted June 29, 2009 #169 Share Posted June 29, 2009 We have to behave in a correct and proper manner on these forum boards or we get banned. Therefore my mocking of the dead transexual and all derogartory comments will only bespoken about in the pub. Wow. Quite sad. Nibs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaikou Posted June 29, 2009 #170 Share Posted June 29, 2009 So you're saying you dont even sympatise with the bloke or cant understand why he reacted the way he did. Thats harsh. Please don't get me wrong, maybe I should have added why I thought that, I do sympathise with him in a sense, I just think that (IMHO and it is just my opinion) there were other avenues open to him, which he could have taken without the need for killing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eternal Light Posted June 29, 2009 #171 Share Posted June 29, 2009 So you're saying you dont even sympatise with the bloke or cant understand why he reacted the way he did. Thats harsh. atom. We ALL sympathise with him, we wouldn't be human if'n we didn't; it's simply that we do not condone murder. As Dark Entity said, there were other avenue's open to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atom286 Posted June 29, 2009 #172 Share Posted June 29, 2009 Wow. Quite sad. Nibs Not as sad as whats happening with the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+HerNibs Posted June 29, 2009 #173 Share Posted June 29, 2009 atom. We ALL sympathise with him, we wouldn't be human if'n we didn't; it's simply that we do not condone murder. As Dark Entity said, there were other avenue's open to him. Agreed. He could have just left when she said no to marriage. No one dead. Even if he did find out...leave. Move. Whatever. No violence necessary. Nibs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
__Kratos__ Posted June 29, 2009 #174 Share Posted June 29, 2009 Becky speaks from a female perspective where all that matters is feelings. She doesnt understand how a man see's this incident or why we would be repulsed by it. I'm seeing that. Well, no Kratos, that's supposition, unless you know more than we do? We can only speculate as to why he attempted suicide. It's in the article: "I can not forgive such betrayal. I must leave For two years I&aposve been devoted to her, my beloved Kamilla, and he betrayed me," Vladimir wrote in his note before slitting his veins in a suicide attempt. IMO - he wasn't raped. He was decived. NOT THE SAME THING. Nibs There are different levels of it. Being decieved doesn't mean you were violated, this guy was violated by the lies she told him. I can't say that many straight guys would want to sleep with another man willingly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+HerNibs Posted June 29, 2009 #175 Share Posted June 29, 2009 Not as sad as whats happening with the world. In a strange way I agree but I don't think we will agree with what is sad in today's world. Nibs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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