Death of a Cat Arouses Profound Complexities

[culdadio]

I am well aware of the absurdities one can draw to the title of the commentary. However, I have always been a sensitive person. We are all like snowflakes, unique but the same. There have been countless volumes written to expound upon the psyche. Suffice it to say, each of us is a unique blend of DNA, environment, present and past association and all that that implies. To bleed upon your ears is to put you to sleep, my friend! People usually find little interest in recounting the dreams or rational of their fellow man and for that I am sorry! I am well aware that my rants may indicate a certain weakness or that there may be some type of medical term for what I am about to say. So be it!

We have been cast into a world of dualities, for the most part. There is day and night, hot and cold, and good and evil. Without one the other simply would not be. These contrasts are the purpose for our existence. Like the character in “Groundhog Day”, they are a force to be reckoned with and in our conscience we must guide our lives to sustain a balance in order to be comfortable with ourselves.

Some of us are comfortable with canned religion. I am not. I was raised Catholic and from the very beginning I had too many questions for my teachers of the faith. Needless to say not all the answers were satisfactory. I am a great believer in “intuition”. I am a great believer in “common sense”. I am a great believer in “cause and effect”. I am also a great believer that these terms serve a purpose! I do not adhere to those that discount science. I do not believe in luck. I do earnestly believe that truth is a “pathless land” and like that fellow in “Groundhog Day” we shall, at some point, graduate from this particular "school of life". There is a danger to following this “pathless land”, though. Like working a Sudoku puzzle, one misconception, and it’s hard to unravel the mistake and begin anew!

Okay, where am I going with this? What does this have to do with the death of my cat? Silly, but the relationship with my cat was strong! All situations, no matter how terrible, have fruit to bear. When I look back on my life, I look at the decisions I’ve made. We’ve all done this. We have regrets, sure! Then we realize that if things went differently, we would not have our present relationships! Without rattling on, I will say here that I am beginig to believe in predestined fate. Predestined fate makes sense to me, because perhaps it is what has been prescribed for my soul's growth. The Wiktionary states, “Predestiny is the idea that all that will come about in the future is exactly determined by the current state of the universe and the rules that govern it”, but I think “the current state of the universe” is interchangeable with “the Cosmos”. Sound far fetched? You’re damned right! But, not anymore far fetched than most religions!

Now, a quick word about the, “Cosmos”. Do you believe that some old man, who looks like Moses holding the Ten Commandments, is watching you every minute? That’s okay with me, but I would think that a high form of intelligence would surpass that! I would think that a set of laws working in harmony with cause and effect (yes, even in the spiritual realm) would be sufficient. That gives good reason to “turn the other cheek” (Gospel of Matthew) and let Karma rule. Giving this philosophy a careful and positive consideration one might conclude that we are on autopilot; working out our destinies in perfect harmony.

Of course, this rational is quickly rejected with a choir of voices chiming in, “What about free will?” Time, space and yes, free-will, could be an illusion! (Wow! Heavy, man!) The fear of death is mainly the fear of the loss of individuality! The most embraced western religions are the ones which state that individuality remains intact in the afterlife. Westerners are comfortable with that! Conversely, some eastern religions suggest that after a certain period of time of absorbing one’s life experience in the afterworld, the Soul returns to the “Prime Ordeal Soup”, so to speak. We never lose conscience, but become one with the greater conscience, or Divine. As for me, I like to think of our spirits as rain drops. Visible in the human organism, but invisible once that organism ceased to function.

Now, back to the cat! Every time some great misfortune befalls us, we have a natural tendency to reflect on life. I know that I do. First, mysterious questions like arise, such as; why did I come across an article which contained data on cat life expectancy on the eve of his death? Why did I dwell on that and do further research with regard to my cat, just before he died? Why did my wife, Joyce and I record two programs on our living room cable box simultaneously, making it necessary to watch yet another program in our bedroom where we cuddled and played with our 12 year old friend (cat) extensively on our bed just prior to his death? These are unusual, but not inexplicable circumstances. I don’t believe in mere happenstance and I don’t believe in coincidence. These are the kind of road signs that have appeared constantly in the wake of my life which indicate that I am on the right track with regard to my philosophies.

After suffering such personal losses, many people try to shut the voice of their conscience out with distractions like work, sex, drugs, alcohol; you name it! It all pertains to the will of the individual. In my present personal circumstances, I am fighting the use of caffeine and cigarettes. Combined with my past transgressions it all makes for raw nerves. I have faced the prospect of death many times and still I maintain bad habits. To make my anxieties worse, there are relationships to consider. Having seen our seemingly healthy cat lying dead and stiff, with Joyce crying, I can certainly tell you which one was worse. I love Joyce! I admire how normal and fun-loving she is. She hardly deserves a weirdo, like me, but she loves me, too and I owe it to her to remain vital as long as I can!

Life is a dream. It is an illusion, to be sure! We are all programmable by nature. All the elements are here on earth for humans to paint the perfect picture of what they perceive to be real! Elements that are over 99.9% space with whizzing atoms weaving the fabric of illusion. We have cars, planes, computers, televisions, phones and anything else that we can conjure up in our imaginations. Most of us live day to day without giving it any thought, because they can’t imagine ever comprehending the meaning of it all! Their very existence and what it means is, for lack of a better term, put on the back burner until someone (yes, cat included ), dies!

Sorry to bore the reader with such speculation as there must be countless theories on existence. I would like to close with a word about California! I wanted to achieve a dream that I had, long ago! Naturally, I’ve always wanted the best life for Joyce and our children. St. Louis made sense, initially, because the kiddies could be raised by Joyce while she worked at home. At the same time, California was always on my mind; great weather, colleges, things to do and see! So, with strong determination, hardship and a lot of sacrifice, Joyce and I have finally made it our home! At first, it was utopia! We were pinching ourselves to see if we were dreaming, all the while marveling on how our plan fell naturally into place! All in all, it’s been a surreal, but bittersweet experience.

I believe we could all live in the Garden of Eden, but after a while it would be the same old grind! We would take it for granted. We would become bored with the daily routine. At some point we would realize that our only true happiness comes from within! I lost my cat and with him, a certain amount of happiness. Now, I’m over it, thanks to outlets such as this! I love my family and friends, like you! No matter how you slice and dice it, love is the true lesson of life!

Life has been challenging lately…do you think I need a shrink?

[Virtual Particle]

Doub't you need a shrink, another cat perhaps (aways good to get it as a kitten).

Any thoughts?

[Virtual Particle]

That a cat has nine lives is called an old wives tale because in ancient times women were responsible for maintaining the record of history is several cultures. What it means is that cats reincarnate and if a master treats a cat well that cat can gain permission to come back to them. It can of course be suggested that its true meaning is meant to help children to understand that pets should be treated well but as I understand it this is what it is suppose to mean.

Culdadio, things like this do happen to people when they have feelings for others and cares which are reasons enough for others to care about you. It is also very possible given this incident that such behavior will persist with respect to the loss of other loved ones. It sounds like you appreciated the extra time and that sounds healthy.

Any thoughts?