Mr-X Posted November 15, 2002 #1 Share Posted November 15, 2002 These are from a book called Disorder in the Court. These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Some of these are excellent don't miss the last one. What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year. >-------------------------------------------------- Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. >---------------------------------------------------- Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten? >---------------------------------------------------- Q: How old is your son, the one living with you? A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years. >---------------------------------------------------------- Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan. >---------------------------------------------------- Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? >---------------------------------------------------- Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he? >------------------------------------------------------- Q: Were you present at the time your picture was taken? >------------------------------------------------------- Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? A: Yes. Q. And what were you doing at that time? >--------------------------------------------------------- Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there any girls? >------------------------------------------------------- Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated? >------------------------------------------------------- Q: Can you describe the individual? A: He was about medium height and had a beard. Q: Was this a male, or a female? >---------------------------------------------------------- Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? A: No, this is how I always dress when I go to work. >--------------------------------------------------------- Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. >-------------------------------------------------------- Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to? A: Oral. >--------------------------------------------------------- Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him. >--------------------------------------------------------- Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? >-------------------------------------------------------- Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Q: But could the patient have still been alive, never the less? A: Not unless he was out practising law somewhere Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kismit Posted November 15, 2002 #2 Share Posted November 15, 2002 LOL . I knew I should have been a Lawyer . That last one summed it all up . :s2 :s2 :s2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr.Brain Posted November 15, 2002 #3 Share Posted November 15, 2002 :s3 lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo_Jones Posted November 15, 2002 #4 Share Posted November 15, 2002 :s2 Great find Mr X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deathsythe Hell Posted November 16, 2002 #5 Share Posted November 16, 2002 :s2 :s2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceyKC Posted November 16, 2002 #6 Share Posted November 16, 2002 :s2 How could anyone say those with a straight face? :s2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PheobeGreen Posted November 18, 2002 #7 Share Posted November 18, 2002 :s2 Oh so funny :s2 Hey, wait -- I'm a lawyer ! :s6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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