Men prefer averagely shaped women

[TSS]

Obviously, they had to work harder on the loin cloth of the guy playing you, though.

Oh yeah, that's what I ment to say! Doh!

[Marby]

Oh yeah, that's what I ment to say! Doh!

:lol:

It happens.

[+Sherapy]

So.....

If you took a pole of 100 men, and asked them what they preferred, I'd bet my house the high percentage would say curves. So, women who look for the thin look, who are you doing that for, is it more for other women, some kind of oneupmanship, so to speak......just curious....

I'd disagree that women as a general rule are the reason for the idea stick skinny, would be attractive....therefore skinny chicks are skinny for us...I find it ugly, I love curves....

I was super skinny for the majority of my adult life and all I ever heard was you are too skinny, I couldn't put on weight, but I was able to lift weights and at least get some shape....I have not read women on here say this was beautiful, I have read a few male posters find it attractive.

Its not the standard even at that. IMO so I'd say its more about the man in the few cases...

My hubby met me at 95 pounds, 5'4" He said I was too way too skinny.

Edited March 20, 2010 by S♥ ♥ ♥

[Marby]

I'd disagree that women as a general rule are the reason for the idea stick skinny, would be attractive....

I was super skinny for the majpority of my adult life and all I ever heard was you are too skinny, I couldn't put on weight, but I was able to lift weights and at least get some shape....I have not read women on here say this was beautiful, I have read a few male posters find it attractive.

Its not the standard even at that. IMO

My hubby now met me at 95 pounds, 5'4" He said I was too way too skinny.

That's about how much I weighed when I met my hubby. I hurt my neck/back and since, I have gained some weight, and while I flucuate wildly, I haven't seen 95 in ages. Now I hover between normal and about 10 pounds over. Every time I threaten to lose more than those ten pounds, I get told that I look better now than when I was "a scrawny toothpick with boobies". After he says this, he is quick to reassure me that he loves me no matter what. I adore that man.

[She-ra]

I am so glad people appreciate curves now... I can stop starving myself and beating myself up

[Marby]

I am so glad people appreciate curves now... I can stop starving myself and beating myself up

I totally want chocolate right now.

[She-ra]

I totally want chocolate right now.

*tosses Marb's a hershey kiss*

nom nom nom

[danielost]

I am so glad people appreciate curves now... I can stop starving myself and beating myself up

i am not sure but i dont think guys like women with bruises.

[TSS]

i am not sure but i dont think guys like women with bruises.

No no no....but I do like to see bruises on men that give women bruises - yes yes yes

[TSS]

I'd disagree that women as a general rule are the reason for the idea stick skinny, would be attractive....therefore skinny chicks are skinny for us...I find it ugly, I love curves....

I was super skinny for the majority of my adult life and all I ever heard was you are too skinny, I couldn't put on weight, but I was able to lift weights and at least get some shape....I have not read women on here say this was beautiful, I have read a few male posters find it attractive.

Its not the standard even at that. IMO so I'd say its more about the man in the few cases...

My hubby met me at 95 pounds, 5'4" He said I was too way too skinny.

So would it be fair to say then that some women stay/ or try and get slim because they think that's what a man wants, but when he says (and finally convinces her) that he doesn't want that, she's happier to give that idea up and be what she is??? or am I getting this the wrong way around!

[danielost]

No no no....but I do like to see bruises on men that give women bruises - yes yes yes

not sure bruises would be enough. and i wouldnt call them men.

[Marby]

*tosses Marb's a hershey kiss*

nom nom nom

Mmmmmmm.

Thanks! xx

[TSS]

not sure bruises would be enough. and i wouldnt call them men.

Agreed.

[Marby]

So would it be fair to say then that some women stay/ or try and get slim because they think that's what a man wants, but when he says (and finally convinces her) that he doesn't want that, she's happier to give that idea up and be what she is??? or am I getting this the wrong way around!

I know you aren't addressing me here, but I have to weigh in on this.

For me, personally, it's what I am comfortable with. When I gain weight, I am not comfortable in my own skin. When I lose the usual ten, because I am at a normal weight and look good doesn't mean that I don't want to recapture the days when I was a scrawny stick figure with boobs, because that's what I was for most of my adult life. Even though I know I look fine as is, and everyone tells me I do, and my husband actually prefers this version of me, a part of me still wants to wear a size 0. I'm only now getting comfortable with being a healthy (not that I wasn't healthy before when I was ultra thin, but no one believed that I was until they saw me eat) size that people don't mistake for an eating disorder. So it's me more than it is my husband's influence, but I value his opinion so I factor it in.

[She-ra]

So would it be fair to say then that some women stay/ or try and get slim because they think that's what a man wants, but when he says (and finally convinces her) that he doesn't want that, she's happier to give that idea up and be what she is??? or am I getting this the wrong way around!

It's fair to say that most women have grown up thinking being skinny/slim is what most men truly want. I am italian & irish and born with strong italian curves. When I modeled I was extremely thin and was still told I was too large for some jobs because well, I have a round azz and breasts.

So, to clarify what I posted earlier, I think some women have been raised around the standard that the size of a model is what is preferred. Now that I am older (and wiser) I have found that many men appreciate my lady lumps and therefore I no longer need to "fight" against what mother nature gave me. To be honest, if someone doesn't like it I just don't give a damn anymore.

***Also, I just wanted to add, I really appreciate the men who tell us women that curves are good.

[TSS]

I know you aren't addressing me here, but I have to weigh in on this.

For me, personally, it's what I am comfortable with. When I gain weight, I am not comfortable in my own skin. When I lose the usual ten, because I am at a normal weight and look good doesn't mean that I don't want to recapture the days when I was a scrawny stick figure with boobs, because that's what I was for most of my adult life. Even though I know I look fine as is, and everyone tells me I do, and my husband actually prefers this version of me, a part of me still wants to wear a size 0. I'm only now getting comfortable with being a healthy (not that I wasn't healthy before when I was ultra thin, but no one believed that I was until they saw me eat) size that people don't mistake for an eating disorder. So it's me more than it is my husband's influence, but I value his opinion so I factor it in.

Right. So it just down to individual taste then, how the individual feels in their own skin..

The reason I asked is because an ex of mine had real confidence issues, she was skinny as a rake, and she thought that is what i wanted, when I pointed out that I'd prefer if she put about a stone in weight on, so I couldn't see her bones, she was shocked......I got the message through though, and she looked so much healthier for it, colour in her cheeks etc...but I still had the feeling she did it for me, rather then feeling better about herself...

So I always wondered about the motivational side of it in general, reasons for being thin.

[danielost]

It's fair to say that most women have grown up thinking being skinny/slim is what most men truly want. I am italian & irish and born with strong italian curves. When I modeled I was extremely thin and was still told I was too large for some jobs because well, I have a round azz and breasts.

So, to clarify what I posted earlier, I think some women have been raised around the standard that the size of a model is what is preferred. Now that I am older (and wiser) I have found that many men appreciate my lady lumps and therefore I no longer need to "fight" against what mother nature gave me. To be honest, if someone doesn't like it I just don't give a damn anymore.

***Also, I just wanted to add, I really appreciate the men who tell us women that curves are good.

this goes back to what i said in the other thread. people are letting leaders, media tell them what they should like and or look like.

[danielost]

Right. So it just down to individual taste then, how the individual feels in their own skin..

The reason I asked is because an ex of mine had real confidence issues, she was skinny as a rake, and she thought that is what i wanted, when I pointed out that I'd prefer if she put about a stone in weight on, so I couldn't see her bones, she was shocked......I got the message through though, and she looked so much healthier for it, colour in her cheeks etc...but I still had the feeling she did it for me, rather then feeling better about herself...

So I always wondered about the motivational side of it in general, reasons for being thin.

maybe she did do it for you but in this case maybe it was a good thing. and maybe she got the message for life as well.

i have a lady living in my house, not a gf. but she used to wiegh 200 lbs now she thinks she is over wieght at 120. i told her she was prefect but she needed to put on about 10 lbs, she got mad.

Edited March 20, 2010 by danielost

[+Sherapy]

That's about how much I weighed when I met my hubby. I hurt my neck/back and since, I have gained some weight, and while I flucuate wildly, I haven't seen 95 in ages. Now I hover between normal and about 10 pounds over. Every time I threaten to lose more than those ten pounds, I get told that I look better now than when I was "a scrawny toothpick with boobies". After he says this, he is quick to reassure me that he loves me no matter what. I adore that man.

That's interesting, my Sean is very clear that I am not to lose my curves, there are times I get on work out kicks and lose 20 pounds, only to be told, "I like you better with your curves..." Or I get little moments when all I see is cellulite and no muscle tone, Sean reminds me I am supposed to be soft not some muscle bound dude, its what he finds to be most beautiful about me; the softness.

My hubby told me once when we were first dating that granted I am beautiful, all dolled up. He added , "but you take my breath away when you are natural." Through sobs, I asked him to marry me on the spot.

It sounds like we both have amazing hubby's.

For all you single ladies there are good men.

@Shera, you are one of the most beautiful women on here (inside and out) that I have ever seen/known. Just as you are.

Never think otherwise.

[TSS]

It's fair to say that most women have grown up thinking being skinny/slim is what most men truly want. I am italian & irish and born with strong italian curves. When I modeled I was extremely thin and was still told I was too large for some jobs because well, I have a round azz and breasts.

So, to clarify what I posted earlier, I think some women have been raised around the standard that the size of a model is what is preferred. Now that I am older (and wiser) I have found that many men appreciate my lady lumps and therefore I no longer need to "fight" against what mother nature gave me. To be honest, if someone doesn't like it I just don't give a damn anymore.

***Also, I just wanted to add, I really appreciate the men who tell us women that curves are good.

Gotcha. Quite interesting to read this, as I have 3 sisters all within a few years of age to me, so watching them and how they are endlessly going on the next 'diet' is quite an eye opener to me.....they all seem to have different reasons, yet if you look closer to what each does they seem to all go back to confidence issues. Yet my wifes reason to want to get slimer seems to be more about stopping me from running off (although I don't where she gets that from anyway) - maybe in her case it's because she is older then me, dunno.

Thanks for the reply.

Edited March 20, 2010 by Scanner.....

[+Sherapy]

So would it be fair to say then that some women stay/ or try and get slim because they think that's what a man wants, but when he says (and finally convinces her) that he doesn't want that, she's happier to give that idea up and be what she is??? or am I getting this the wrong way around!

I think its about what the female finds beautiful for her. I didn't like being skinny, I always longed to be curvy.

My first husband loved skinny, yet it didn't help. I felt women who had curves were beautiful.

My hubby now prefers a curvy female, but would love me even if I was was skinny and boob-less, irregardless...In this case since I am now curvy with boobs it works for the both of us. I must say its a plus being hubby's idea of beauty.

We make sure 'we' don't get too skinny.. tee hee..I worry more about getting to thin then anything else.

sometimes I forget and the next thing I know I am 20 pounds lighter. At 5'4' 20 pounds is a lot...eeks

Edited March 20, 2010 by S♥ ♥ ♥

[TSS]

maybe she did do it for you but in this case maybe it was a good thing. and maybe she got the message for life as well.

i have a lady living in my house, not a gf. but she used to wiegh 200 lbs now she thinks she is over wieght at 120. i told her she was prefect but she needed to put on about 10 lbs, she got mad.

'she got mad' - lol - you do make me laugh with the way you word things.

[danielost]

'she got mad' - lol - you do make me laugh with the way you word things.

except in this case she really did get mad. asked me how i could say she was perfect and needed to gain 10lbs.

[Marby]

@Scanner

As danielost said, I hope that she got the message for life because it seems she really needed to build up her self confidence. I think that a lot of women do, as mentioned already, gain or lose weight to please a man. I'm from a Cuban family and there are ten million little proverbs/sayings that revolve around the things that keep him from running off. At the same time, my parents, who were raised that way, grew up in 1960s America so it was a bit of a value clash. I'm glad that they instilled a lot of the Cuban values, but left those particular ones out. I was always taught that if you aren't happy with the person you are on the inside, nothing you do on the outside will matter. Everyone's self confidence takes some hits over time, but at some point, you have to be happy with the face you see in the mirror, accept that it will age, and know that it's not the only thing that makes you who you are.

I consider myself very lucky to have a husband that sees me as a whole person and not just a body, because every body has flaws and imperfections. He doesn't care if I wear make up or not, though I do because I like it and because just as he respects me, I respect him enough to want to look my best when we go somewhere together. It works both ways. I enjoy looking my best for myself, first and foremost, because it's a confidence booster (who doesn't like to feel pretty?), but I also love to know that my husband finds me attractive even when I am roaming around with no make up on and in pyjamas, so I do it for him as well because I like to remind him that I can clean up well every so often too.

S <3 <3 <3 we do have great guys.

I find it disturbing when women (or men for that matter) live their lives around what others will think. I am as vain as the next person, don't get me wrong, but again, it should never be the thing that drives anyone.

Edited March 20, 2010 by Marby

[Marby]

except in this case she really did get mad. asked me how i could say she was perfect and needed to gain 10lbs.

It's that misconception that women have that men only want Victoria's Secret models.