+OverSword Posted January 10, 2013 Author #5101 Share Posted January 10, 2013 Which is a step up from the job Simbi held at the peep show.....No, of course she wasn't behind the glass touching her private parts for the customers, she was mopping up the booths when they were done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted January 10, 2013 #5102 Share Posted January 10, 2013 OverSword never leaves anything behind him there. He picks up every last tissue and wipes any of his fingerprints clean. Because he’s trying not to, but you never know when he might lose the battle against the bloodthirsty animat that lives inside his mind, demanding blood. But blame him not, that's reincarnative issue, he was a mosquito in his previous life. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted January 10, 2013 Author #5103 Share Posted January 10, 2013 Helen has learned the trick of leaving people all of thier blood and just sucking the happiness out of any situation. I said "Hi Helen, wonderful day isn't it?" and she replied "what's so wonderful about it?" and I said "well the sun is shining" and she said "So now we will all die from melanoma" and I said "if they catch it early it's easily treatable" and she said "sure if you wasn to lose all of your hair and look like a concentration camp survivor" my reply was "Or a supermodel" ad she said "looking good doesn't make you a happy person" and I asked "what do you think makes a happy person then?" and she said "You should be a criminal being happy in this terrible world" and the conversation just keeps going like that. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Star Posted January 10, 2013 #5104 Share Posted January 10, 2013 OverSword really isn't nuts at all,'onest.....No, no , no, no, no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted January 10, 2013 #5105 Share Posted January 10, 2013 Blue Star embroiled OverSword’s initials on her straightjacket so she can pretend it once belonged to him. That jacket is snugly, I have no objections about that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Star Posted January 10, 2013 #5106 Share Posted January 10, 2013 Helen of A' knows this well, as she often feels the need to join me in side it. It's a bit snug but then it is her only way of getting close to me, that she understands. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted January 10, 2013 #5107 Share Posted January 10, 2013 Blue Star doesn’t know I wear each pair of her clean underwear for couple minutes and then put them back in the drawer. Neatly. That almost gave me away, she’s not that neat herself, but she thinks it’s her fairy godmother taking care of her undies. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PlanB Posted January 10, 2013 #5108 Share Posted January 10, 2013 Blue Star does know this and promptly bags all of the panties that Helen tries on. These end up getting sold on the Japanese black market where they're known as Full of Vigor Octopus Girl Underwear #1. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Star Posted January 10, 2013 #5109 Share Posted January 10, 2013 (edited) Sssssssh! but what H of A nor, PlanB realise is, I take a cope of her fingerprints from the fingered, fumbled smalls and transpose her prints into crime scenes across the globe....She's wanted in over two hundred countries.....For crimes she hasn't committed....It's a lot of work on my part but it means I do get to see all these places. Japan being one of my favourites which is where I saw PlanB buying up all the frillies he could grab. Edited January 10, 2013 by Blue Star 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted January 10, 2013 #5110 Share Posted January 10, 2013 Blue Star drank from my fish tank. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Star Posted January 10, 2013 #5111 Share Posted January 10, 2013 (edited) The thing is, what you and I call the tap......... H o A calls a fish tank. Shame really because you should see what H o A does with her real fish tank.....I can't write it here, it's just way too..... Edited January 10, 2013 by Blue Star 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted January 10, 2013 #5112 Share Posted January 10, 2013 Oh, that explains what Blue Star did on my tap. You see, we call that contraption with running water in a bowl “a tap”. Then she washed her hands in my fish tank. We thought she's quite insane but generally very nice, so everyone was tapping her shoulders and she said: "No, I'm not tender at all, no matter how long you'd cook me, I'd still be so stringy." and left, forgetting her... that thing you wear on your head... the purse. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted January 10, 2013 Author #5113 Share Posted January 10, 2013 Helen was recently abducted by aliens, when they tried to return her her husband met the aliens at the door with a gun saying "No way Jose, you took her you keep her". Helen, we will miss you.....maybe. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grendals_bane Posted January 11, 2013 #5114 Share Posted January 11, 2013 OverSword knows this of course, as he is the one responsible for all of the worlds "alien abductions" it is the only way he can deal with his fetish for inserting anal probes. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted January 11, 2013 Author #5115 Share Posted January 11, 2013 grendals_bane lays in bed at night with a jar of vaseline in breathless anticipation of a nocturnal visitation from yours truly. Lose a few pounds mate and we'll see if we can squeeze you in to the schedule. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted January 11, 2013 #5116 Share Posted January 11, 2013 OverSword made me blush. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PlanB Posted January 11, 2013 #5117 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Helen doesn't blush. She squirts a cloud of ink than scampers away, arms flailing. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted January 11, 2013 Author #5118 Share Posted January 11, 2013 PlanB wasn't a Texan fan until the Cowboys were out of the play-offs. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PlanB Posted January 11, 2013 #5119 Share Posted January 11, 2013 PlanB wasn't a Texan fan until the Cowboys were out of the play-offs. Ha, now that's about the biggest lie you could've said! OverSword is one of those that believes that the NFL would actually be safer if everyone wore leather helmets. Not sure of his justification for wanting all of the players to wear leather chaps as well. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted January 12, 2013 #5120 Share Posted January 12, 2013 PlanB can testify the helmet can make your injuries more serious, since he once fell over cat and hit his forehead against the helmet left carelessly on the floor. It was quite hard blow, so everyone still can read what team PlanB played for, from his forehead. Doctors said it will wear off in few weeks, but it didn't, so I suspect PlanB hits his head against that helmet every few weeks just to keep proudly displaying his team’s logo. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cenobite Posted January 12, 2013 #5121 Share Posted January 12, 2013 Helen is an avid collector of caterpillar mucus 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted January 12, 2013 #5122 Share Posted January 12, 2013 Speaking of caterpillars, cenobite was told by his kids that the Caterpillar at construction site will never become a biiiiiig butterfly, and he didn’t believe them. Even if it never becomes a butterfly, big, biiiig butterfly, that would be because kids read that "Caterpillar" wrong. If only he could read it all by himself and dispel all doubts. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cenobite Posted January 12, 2013 #5123 Share Posted January 12, 2013 helen's favourite food is bull pizzle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bonecrusher Posted January 12, 2013 #5124 Share Posted January 12, 2013 helen's favourite food is bull pizzle Cenobite's an avid collector of Spice Girl action figures! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted January 12, 2013 #5125 Share Posted January 12, 2013 (edited) Will minors and civilized people leave the thread for a moment? Thank you. So, cenobite thinks that I play tug-o-war with my dog the way he played it with his, until social service people barged into his house right at the moment when he finally won the pizzle and started gnawing it in front of sad eyes of his dog. They were there for completely different set of reasons, but it doesn’t matter now when at least dog has got new home where he doesn’t have to fight for food, the food that also used to come wearing condoms in accordance to cenobite’s philosophy of “recycling”. First you mate with it, then you play with it, then you eat it. Not necessariliy in that order. Edit: I was abducted by aliens and couldn't see Medium Brown's post. He now plays tug-o-war with cenobite. Edited January 12, 2013 by Helen of Annoy 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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