Helen of Annoy Posted February 27, 2013 #5351 Share Posted February 27, 2013 It was so distracting for OverSword he drove his unicycle into the ditch and he was only two trailers away from his circus tent. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpiritWriter Posted February 27, 2013 #5352 Share Posted February 27, 2013 Helens cage isnt far away either. She extended her trunk between the bars to try to help oversword up after his fall but it was a few centimeters to short and everyone started laughing at her, telling her that she couldn't really fly either. She knows they are all just jelous of her and if she ever gets her trunk on the keys shes going to proove it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the1truebat Posted February 28, 2013 #5353 Share Posted February 28, 2013 And SpiritWriter knows this because she gets to clean the cage...with a spork. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted February 28, 2013 Author #5354 Share Posted February 28, 2013 the1truebat has been missing from the forums for quite some time. He was at the proctologist having very large objects removed from his rectum. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the1truebat Posted February 28, 2013 #5355 Share Posted February 28, 2013 (edited) I remember a halloween party at a zoo, OverSword was wearing a pith helmet as I recall. Now, I realize that O.S. has one very big problem, sheer unimaginable bad luck, but I keep him around anyway. Well to keep this short (as this is not a holiday or special occasion) OverSword got a little tipsy and wandered off. After a couple hours I got to be a little concerened, so I went to find him. Eventually I did, and he had this huge grin on his face, I hadn"t seen him this happy since we got the charges dropped after he was arrested for solicitation, (Long story, read back aways) Anyhow, there he is, happy, "So what's got you so happy?', I ask. "Bat, I met The One", he replies with a drunken giggle. "The One,what?" I inquire. He sighs contentedly, "I met the girl I'm gonna marry" 'Oh lord, not again' I think to myself, "Alright, show me" He leaps up from the bench and skips, yes, skips over to one of the enclosures. We go through an unlocked door and I see the love of his life. Raven black hair, fur coat, yep, It's a 400 pound male gorilla named Bobo. "O.S", I say slowly, "that's a gorilla" As I begin to back up slowly, because apparently, Bobo is a jealous gorilla and is now trying to assert his dominance. The last thing I heard OverSword say was, "So that's why she wouldn't take off her coat". Edited February 28, 2013 by the1truebat 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted February 28, 2013 #5356 Share Posted February 28, 2013 “And that’s why you should do like I do, date only strippers, no surprises, at least not visible ones...” Bat yelled in response, leaving the zoo with the tingling feeling that reminded him he should have taken his antibiotic half an hour ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the1truebat Posted March 1, 2013 #5357 Share Posted March 1, 2013 Helen's just mad that I'd rather date strippers than her. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpiritWriter Posted March 1, 2013 #5358 Share Posted March 1, 2013 Onetruebat is really superman but he pretends to be batman so that no one ever asks for help. Initially he thought it would help him get girls, but everytime one comes on to him (strippers included), he runs away and hides until lois lane gets herself in trouble again. The real bat man laughs at him about that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the1truebat Posted March 1, 2013 #5359 Share Posted March 1, 2013 SpiritWriter is still upset that she couldn't be Batgirl. Mostly because in order to be Batgirl, you actually have to be a girl. Not a 97 pound virgin named Craig, who still lives with mommy. Sorry SpiritWriter, your secret's out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted March 1, 2013 Author #5360 Share Posted March 1, 2013 the1truebat recently started eating raw Criscotm, He explains that it seems like it would be more convenient than carrying around the 2 litre bottle of LuvLubetm that he normally hauls everywhere he goes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted March 1, 2013 #5361 Share Posted March 1, 2013 OverSword doesn’t believe in lubrication since the unfortunate accident involving his ex-girlfriend, oriental erotic literature, generous amount of lube and very amused firemen who needed half an hour longer than usual to get the p...pppp... kitty off the tree. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpiritWriter Posted March 1, 2013 #5362 Share Posted March 1, 2013 Helen is the helen off of candyman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the1truebat Posted March 2, 2013 #5363 Share Posted March 2, 2013 SpiritWriter once woke up next to a male orangutan, and he was the one who was embarrassed 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted March 2, 2013 #5364 Share Posted March 2, 2013 the1truebat once punched a mirror in attack of jealousy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsteroidX Posted March 2, 2013 #5365 Share Posted March 2, 2013 Helen of Annoy is afraid to show her true colors. And uses Black Ink to create Red tape. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted March 2, 2013 #5366 Share Posted March 2, 2013 AsteroidX zoomed past Earth recently. He had no intention to pass so closely and actually had no idea the Earth is there, it just popped out in front of him, so he dropped no.2 in shock. “Phew. That was close.” said Asteroid and went on, towards the Sun, but his no.2 was caught by mysterious gravitational pull and it crashed down to Earth. Upon closer investigation, it turned out there’s no mystery at all, it was the egocentric force that already brought down anyone with intention to fly higher than the centre of said egocentric force, or against its direction. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Star Posted March 2, 2013 #5367 Share Posted March 2, 2013 Helen Of Annoy never has anything to say....She's just soooooooooo quiet. The mice get trained by her how to not make a sound or ever a squeak....She teaches the blind ones braille too but that's another story. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the1truebat Posted March 3, 2013 #5368 Share Posted March 3, 2013 And that, folks, is Blue Star's one coherent thought of the day. A clear example of better living through modern chemistry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Star Posted March 3, 2013 #5369 Share Posted March 3, 2013 The1truebat, never got past precipitation in his chemistry class and he still doesn't understand how his tights/ Thats english for pantyhose to you Americano's.... Are supposed to go over his knickers not under them....Will he ever learn???? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted March 3, 2013 #5370 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Blue Star is private eye previously known as Clue Star. She was famous for acquiring evidence against cheating husbands until photo and video manipulations ruined all credibility of any kind of recordings. It’s all about the DNA nowadays and Blue Star is taking biochemistry classes to keep the pace with times and get back in the business, big style. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queen in the North Posted March 3, 2013 #5371 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Helen eats babies. And baby seahorses. Oh wait this is the lies thread isn't it? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted March 3, 2013 #5372 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Queen is the one who came up with the idea to cook seahorses and tell people it’s shrimp. “Suck harder.” she’d say when guests complained these shrimp are dry and generally strange. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queen in the North Posted March 3, 2013 #5373 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Helen mashes up seahorse placentas and makes it into a very expensive face cream, which she sells for a tidy profit. Her own secret face cream for a youthful complexion is a very specific blend of seahorse placenta, virgin blood and humectants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpiritWriter Posted March 3, 2013 #5374 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Queen of the norths face is like porceline. She has sacrificed most of her kingdom in order to afford this luxerious seahorse cream, both in wealth and virgins. There has been a certain side affect however after many years of its usage. Her body has begun to harden and her legs have begun to curl upward into her pelvic. She can no longer walk and is most comfortable with her bottom half emerged in the ocean.. no one seems to like her both on earth or in the sea, no one but helen that is, both for supporting her business and for her lovely new body. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted March 4, 2013 #5375 Share Posted March 4, 2013 SpiritWriter heard the shark liver contains the most powerful anti-aging agents so she’s currently serving the sentence for killing a lawyer and eating his liver. The evidence wasn’t lawyer’s heart she kept in contact lens container in her freezer because it hasn’t thawed yet. They couldn’t trace blood stained carpet because SW is too clever to try to get rid of evidence in usual ways. No, she sold it to a gallery as piece of artwork. So they had to prove his DNA in SW’s stool instead. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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