[Archived] Make up a lie about poster above

[Feebs 199]

The only reason feebs sleeps with her Teddy bear is because there is a secret compartment for snickers bars in it's belly...

Axl took off with all the kindle chocolates

now that i would like....lol

spiritwriter is overly jealous of my teddy and has been seen trying to kidnap it x

[SpiritWriter 3,380]

Your Teddy bear sneaks out every night after you fall asleep, we play all night and then I drive him back home in time for breakfast.. Your cookings not that bad, I can't eat the pork, but he brings me out some toast jam and eggs if you aren't in one of your moods and he gets a few minutes to get back outside before I drive away

[SpiritWriter 3,380]

He just sent me a text

[Simbi Laveau 4,430]

Spiritwriter was arrested .She was caught in a compromising position with a group of underaged teddybears ,and their owners ,Feebs included ,pressed charges .

SW got no jail time,but she's not allowed within ten meters of any stuffed animal ,or the ankle bracelet shocks her .

[Helen of Annoy 23,487]

Simbi keeps skull-shaped lamp beside her bed. And that lamp is wearing sunglasses.

And I’ll tell you why.

You see, Simbi is doing her toenails with her favourite super-sized nail-clipper that launches nail clippings all the way across the room, if they don’t hit furniture before losing critical velocity, leaving deep cuts or even getting stuck in the wood or upholstery.

So both Simbi and her lamp are wearing shades to protect their eyes from toenail shrapnel.

[Simbi Laveau 4,430]

My lamp takes offense to that Helen .My lamp wears the shades just because he's damn cool . It makes the lady skulls go,oooowwww....those shades really bring out your cheek bones ...

In other news ,Helen belongs to a knitting circle .She keeps this a secret though,because her knitting skills suck . When she tries to make a glove ,it always ends up looking like a weird mitten ,with just one finger ,coming out right in the middle .

[Helen of Annoy 23,487]

Almost true. See picture below.

Simbi now wishes to join my knitting circle. We told you the last time you tried that you are not allowed to bring the actual body part, you have to take exact measures and work with a model. Damn it. Look what cat dragged in, look what Simbi dragged in... I don't want to look, I've seen it all, all except someone else to clean up after the cats.

[Simbi Laveau 4,430]

Almost true. See picture below.

Simbi now wishes to join my knitting circle. We told you the last time you tried that you are not allowed to bring the actual body part, you have to take exact measures and work with a model. Damn it. Look what cat dragged in, look what Simbi dragged in... I don't want to look, I've seen it all, all except someone else to clean up after the cats.

We made those for rockstar friends,decades ago .Shhhhhh ....

Helen also cannot cook well.

When she tried to make pot pie ,she wasn't sure which kind of pot to use ,so she wrapped some corning ware in dough ,and sprinkled marijuana on top .

It was a disaster,until she realized she could sell it to the rastas .

She lost a lot of her corning ware that way though .

[OverSword 30,718]

Helen sent that sewing item in her post to Simbi for Christmas. It fits perfectly, I wonder how Helen knew the correct size?

[Helen of Annoy 23,487]

I’m very lucky guesser.

I made one for OverSword too. His cousin gave me the measure. I was almost finished when I talked to the other of his numerous cousins and had to start all over because it turned out the first cousin is cross-eyed and he doesn’t have two of them after all. It was easier to knit but still I was a bit disappointed. Like when they promise you a freak show and there's only your uncle in a drag, faking a bearded lady. Happened to OverSword once, only he didn't recognize his own uncle, because he never wore that short skirt around the house.

[Simbi Laveau 4,430]

Helen voted for Romney,and then knitted him one of her famous warmers ....in red white and blue .

He was so taken by it all ,he put it on to model it for her,in private .

He even saluted her,and did the happy warmer dance .

When he lost ,Helen mourned ,because he couldn't even raise his sad little head ,let alone salute or dance .....

*flees*

Edited December 7, 2012 by Simbi Laveau

[Knight Of Shadows 1,767]

simbi stumbled down while fleeing and fell down off 50 steps stair however the doctor said luckily she landed on her head and no " further " damage was done

[Old Man Waffles 1,204]

Knight loves Miley Cyrus, and even has her name tattooed on his knuckles.

[SpiritWriter 3,380]

Knight of shadows got a shadow girl pregnant. Her and the baby live in a midnight blue lake under a moon that is always full and a dark cloud that is shaped like a dragon. Kos hasn't visited for several months and the shadow girl is getting very p***ed.

[SpiritWriter 3,380]

Old man waffles is really Jim carry, and he's been waiting for someone to guess his identity... Now that I have he's going to send me a really corny personal message and an audio clip of himself snort laughing...

[Old Man Waffles 1,204]

Spirit writer is a MAN! Yes, it's TRUE! And she has all the man parts to prove it!

[Ealdwita 6,769]

Waffles spent the first few years of her life in a cardboard box under Battersea Bridge!

[Helen of Annoy 23,487]

And we would be so grateful if you left her there. But noooo, you had to take the devil spawn home and try to raise her like a girl.

Since we all know what you do on weekends, and what your perception of a “girl” is, we got what we got, a confused waffle. Still better than fused waffles, ew, but still, it’s all ealdwita’s fault.

[Simbi Laveau 4,430]

Helen is actually waffles teacher and master .

She's training waffles in the secret art of UM ninjitsu

No one knows this,but Helen is the true power behind Sarus throne .

He does Helens bidding ,and in turn ,she let's everyone think he's in charge .

She is training waffles to follow in her evil genius footsteps .

[Helen of Annoy 23,487]

It’s that obvious, huh? I’m so lucky I’m convincing denial specialist among other things.

Waffles just don’t get that part of the Art... Twitter generation, attention span of Cocker Spaniel and similar social concepts, what can you do, neither **** nor bring home, as we say over here.

Anyway, Simbi decided to cheer me up because I’m still haunted with Romney flop, so she’s *heavily censored truth*

I’ll go with the soft-core... she’s handcrafting me a little bobbing headed Romney figurine. His upper head will bob too, and the saluting arm. Just don’t forget to make a flexible elbow too or I’ll have to hide it in my box of politically uncorrect horrors.

[OverSword 30,718]

Helen of Annoy is terribly embarrased by her smelly feet. She won a free all expense paid trip to Mazatlan and when they made her take off her shoes for the security check at the airport she was tackled by Homeland Security because they thought she was a terrorist using gas to kill people. Fortunately only one elderly person had actually died evry one else was just knocked out by the fumes.

[Simbi Laveau 4,430]

Anything for you Helen bebe.

I will use the jelli molds .

And Helen has been on Jerry Springer .It was one of those episodes where some slutty stripper,steals a doody looking guy with three teeth ,from his very loyal girlfriend .

I won't say which of the three she is,but you can guess

[Helen of Annoy 23,487]

Oh, come on, it’s obvious... You stole me from OverSword.

[joc 7,524]

Helen is so confused. She got all dolled up and went to Victoria Secret's. The sales clerk asked, 'Excuse me Sir, could I help you pick out something for your wife?' (must have been the mustache) Then she went to the lady's bathroom in the mall and security was called to 'get that man out of the lady's room'!

[Helen of Annoy 23,487]

It’s close to my annual facial hair trim time, so kids don’t call me “Santa”, god damn it, and this year I’m collecting it and donating to joc, because he often complains he might die before he finds out what it feels like to be a man.

There, I’ll solve the beard part, you save some money and solve the other *wink, wink, nudge, nudge* part of the manliness mystery. And don't go for the cheapest, five minutes... three, in your case... of pleasure is not worth six months scratching before you can't take it anymore and buy some antibiotics on the Internet, thus ending up in the hospital where you should have went half year ago. Better late than never.

joc also sucks his thumb. Only in his sleep, to be fair, he can controll it while he's awake. Which is not something that rare, but sure is embarrassing when you start sharing a room with people that are not your siblings.