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OverSword

[Archived] Make up a lie about poster above

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grendals_bane

Helen of Annoy saves her toe nail clippings. She glues them together to create sculptures of her favorite Russian leaders, for whom she has nothing but the greatest respect

To ensure all of the nail clipping are in the best condition OverSword cleans each one with his tongue.

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Blue Star

grendals_bane.......Supervises this process by personally checking each one with his, after OverSword has finished his licking routine.

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Helen of Annoy

Aw, god damn it, I’m officially disgusted :lol:

Blue Star was the real life model after which Igi from the Gogs family was shaped.

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OverSword

Helen of Annoy thinks men who are missing teeth are sexy because it shows they have more life experience.

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Helen of Annoy

OverSword prefers his partners inexperienced, so they don’t notice he sometimes forgets what goes where.

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Simbi Laveau

Helen has a collection of overswords teeth. She wears them on a chain around her neck ,with little swarovski crystals in between them.

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OverSword

Simbi is obsessed with Japanese culture to the extent that she sent me a christmas card wishing me a meddy cdistmasu.

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Helen of Annoy

OverSword gives names to sushi rolls and whispers dirty things to them, thinking people in the restaurant won’t notice what he’s doing.

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OverSword

OverSword gives names to sushi rolls and whispers dirty things to them, thinking people in the restaurant won’t notice what he’s doing.

True, but I prefer sushimi.

Helen is trading several family members for a sauna.

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joc

Oversword knows this because he is the one who is buying Helen's 'family members'. God only knows what he has plans for! (perhaps a major sushimi party...featuring hors d'oeuvres, compliments of Helens Family Sale.)

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PlanB

joc once won a Billy Dee Williams look-a-like contest. He achieved this by threatening the judges with a broken glass bottle that once held the malt beverage Colt .45. As he was handed his trophy, he was heard muttering under his breath, "works every time."

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Helen of Annoy

PlanB chose that name after PlanA got himself permanently banned.

Don’t worry, it happens all the time.

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joc

joc once won a Billy Dee Williams look-a-like contest. He achieved this by threatening the judges with a broken glass bottle that once held the malt beverage Colt .45. As he was handed his trophy, he was heard muttering under his breath, "works every time."

Just a note: the name of this thread is tell a LIE....the above happened in 1993, 1995 and as recently as 2006...it does work every time!

PlanB chose that name after PlanA got himself permanently banned.

Don’t worry, it happens all the time.

The truth is we all call up Helen to help us with our plans...but the problem is, all of her plans are the same: Put an octopus on your head and call it done!

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Helen of Annoy

You ungrateful son of squid, was it not done in 2007, when you pleaded "not guilty by the reason of insanity" in court and my octopus-on-head PlanAAndAOnly worked?!

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joc

No, your Un-heiness...it was 2008 and what you said was, "Slap the judge in the head with this Octopus! Then they'll really think you are crazy." Instead, the judge found me in contempt of court and after 12 hours in the Emergency Room when I finally woke up from the convulsions that I underwent because of the Bailif's Tazer...I spent the next 14 months in jail. Thanks alot!

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Helen of Annoy

It was not my fault. You overdid it. I said “slap the judge with this octopus” not “slap him with this octopus repeatedly until he falls down, then put a foot on his chest and spin the octopus in the air in triumphant fashion”.

Since judge tried to defend himself by grabbing you by your... ahem... family jewels, and you responded with kicking him in the ribs (points for quick reaction!), tazering was kind of expected.

Edited by Helen of Annoy
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joc

Maybe, but what I never expected, and what the Bailiff never expected was for you to grab his Tazer Gun and shoot the barbs straight into my forehead...and then you yanked them out, reloaded and shot them into my left ear...I went unconscious at that point...but I was always curious why I had little holes and burn marks on my...uh...privates.

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Ealdwita

Maybe, but what I never expected, and what the Bailiff never expected was for you to grab his Tazer Gun and shoot the barbs straight into my forehead...and then you yanked them out, reloaded and shot them into my left ear...I went unconscious at that point...but I was always curious why I had little holes and burn marks on my...uh...privates.

Everybody congratulated Helen on such fine shooting, especially when you consider how tiny the target was!

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SpiritWriter

Ealdwita sleeps in mouse turds. His wife serves him cereal (breakfast in bed) in the morning, he loves it with bananas and raisins.

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xYlvax

SpiritWriter pretends to be a ghost and runs around in sheets with chains.

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joc

NikkiAidyn pretends to be a Vampire Goddess and goes around biting the unsuspecting on the neck. :

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Helen of Annoy

And that’s the reason why joc walks around, sleeps, eats and does anything else with his head tilted to one side, accidentally exposing his unsuspecting neck.

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ouija ouija

Helen has been voted President of her local Women's Institute for the past two decades. Some achievement, you say ........ she must be very popular, you say. No, this is not the case, she holds the position unopposed because of threats made to the other three members invoving the octopus-bashing and taser-shooting mentioned in previous posts.

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PlanB

ouija ouija's favorite band is Duran Duran, favorite city is New York, New York and favorite assassin is Sirhan Sirhan. The last part disturbed me too.

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ouija ouija

ouija ouija's favorite band is Duran Duran, favorite city is New York, New York and favorite assassin is Sirhan Sirhan. The last part disturbed me too.

And what, exactly, is wrong with having a favourite assassin? :ph34r:

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