Jump to content
Join the Unexplained Mysteries community today! It's free and setting up an account only takes a moment.
- Sign In or Create Account -
OverSword

[Archived] Make up a lie about poster above

7,919 posts in this topic

Recommended Posts

monk 56

Hi Helen,

Now being a monk i transport myself back to the 16th Century and the inquisition, "Behold readers the evil temptress reveals herself, she says she is of the line of Berchta or Perchta, she is the ruler of beasts and is the goddess of spinning lies, her picture is below:-

http://en.wikipedia....rchtenmaske.jpg

My brothers will know how to deal with her...evil giggle:-

[media=]

[/media]

In truth she is an evil succubus demon, she has a dungeon where she whips men into submission.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Succubus

It was in her dungeon where she whipped me into making her vile rocking horse, i will go to hell, but she made me do it, sob!

http://www.peter-jak...ocking-toy.html

( i was looking for an evil rocking horse, but could only find a sleazy one, boy have i left myself open to jokes with last link ha ha!)

Edited by monk 56
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Helen of Annoy

:lol:

Have you noticed the trail of thread destruction that accidentally follows us?

I know monk56 in the real life, we had the same psychiatrist for a while and he was a nice man and very good specialist until he jumped off the bell tower screaming in unidentified foreign language.

Then we met few years later in another psychiatrist’s waiting room and monk told me he broke another one in the meantime: his former therapist gave his career up and went sheepherding somewhere in the Southern hemisphere.

When I came for the next session, I found locked door with a printed note: "Closed due to illness." and added in shaky handwriting: "The end is near, repent!"

You’ll turn psychiatry into high-risk profession if you keep that pace, monk.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
J. K.

Helen of Annoy consulted her family doctor for a reference for a psychiatrist. He directed her to the Primate Studies Center at the Cincinnati Zoo.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
monk 56

Hi Helen,

I know the men in white coats are coming for me with a strait jacket, but i know you need a better rocking horse and you are planning to steal Denver's State Treasure at the airport, what will Denver do without their lovely horse Bluecifer?

My humour is a little too zany, so think i had better go back to my prime thread, before i'm retired to a mental institution ha ha!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
J. K.

Sorry, I slipped past monk there.

Monk was the sculptor's model for Bluecifer.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
monk 56

Hi J.K.

The men in white coats are knocking on my door now ha ha!

So i leave you with my swan song on this thread, obviously i have a zany sense of humour that not all will understand, but i think members can have enough of me, see you around the threads as well as Helen, bye!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SpiritWriter

Monk has relapsed into the astral heights after a long flower sniffing bender, the men in the white coats also have wings and halos.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Helen of Annoy

SpiritWriter doesn’t do astral travelling ever since she abruptly started falling back into her body, missed and fell into her dog’s body. The force of spiritual impact ejected her dog’s mind and it entered the first unoccupied vessel which happened to be SW’s body.

So the dog spent a whole day in human body opening every single box, bag, can, bottle and jar, overeating himself to the point of vomiting. Then he tried to lick himself clean but – oh, the horror, WTF is this – SW’s body couldn’t reach her behind!

SW spent that whole day refusing to admit what’s happening.

Then she finally accepted it’s not just a bad dream and started thinking how to switch their bodies back, but had to use bathroom which is not easy task if you’re in a dog body. So she fell off the toilet and knocked herself unconscious, and once she was knocked out the dog too happily jumped out of her body to greet her in the free astral range.

And they returned each to their own rightful body and lived happily ever after.

Now, I do admit someone pushed her off the edge of the higher astral plane causing this whole mess but it wasn’t me.

Edited by Helen of Annoy
  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SpiritWriter

Me and spiritwriter switched bodies today and whoever puts thier cursor in the comment box on this thread is next lol. I want to be the one who makes every single entry on this board.

- Helen of Annoy

Edited by SpiritWriter
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Helen of Annoy

All right, I’m back to my own body. SpiritWriter has too short legs so I felt like Munchkin cat and my feet were dangling in the air while I was sitting in my chair.

SpiritWriter was born with longer legs but she didn’t listen to grownups who would ask her to stop jumping and stomping around so much so her legs shortened.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SpiritWriter

Ok im back in spiritwriters body.. this is fun. I like jumping and stomping. WHEEEE!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Helen of Annoy

Helen, where do you turn this thing that plays in your head off? I can’t think straight while it’s flashing and yelling.

I think I could, say, change Helen's hairstyle while she's away in my body.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
monk 56

Hi Helen,

You think you have problems jumping in and out of bodies, when i did it i got stuck in a gorrilla and now i only want to play the drums!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Helen of Annoy

Before getting stuck in gorilla body, monk was training pancake flipping. Not the ordinary one flip only, it’s a serious sport that could be described as mixture of table tennis and artistic gymnastics. With chance to become Olympic sport. If we start such petition right here, right now...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
OverSword

Helen of Annoy only changed bodies with SpiritWriter because she knows we live on the same block and she's trying to sleep with me. Forget it Helen, even though you're in someone elses body technically you're still married and i don't sleep with marrie women. Well not since that angry husand shot me in the foot.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Helen of Annoy

Not mine! Mine doesn’t miss from that distance and doesn’t aim for the feet.

OverSword lost his left big toe, but not due to said shooting.

He was carrying tequila bottle in one hand and running chainsaw in another, when he tripped and almost fell. He needed to let one of those things go because he needed one free hand to grab onto something and... well, we all have our priorities. Toes apparently are not among OverSword's priorities.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
acute

Helen has extremely thin buttocks, and she likes to keep them warm by putting them into the toaster on the 'frozen' setting.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SpiritWriter

Acute alan stays warm by rubbing on himself and concentrating. He fills his mind with images of hot objects, like burning candle wicks and baked potatoes. He imagines that his hands have super powers like mr. Miagi off the karate kid. He touches different parts of himself and then crawls inside the index finger of a winter glove to take a nap.

Edited by SpiritWriter

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
OverSword

And again there goes Helen highjacking SpiritWriters body in order to tell lies. Hellen leave SW alone she's a nice girl, well OK she doesn't smell nice but shes as sweet as candy, well actually she's quite salty but I didn't mean literally 'sweet'.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
tapirmusic

Oversword is part-owner of a hotel in Moscow made entirely of hot dogs.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
J. K.

tapir music is the other part-owner. His job is to apply the mustard.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SpiritWriter

J.k. was just kidding. Jk

But seriously though jk never kids especially about mustard. He supplies the mustard that supplies the hot dog hotel and has recently become good buddies with the owners of it. Theyve formed a club that creates and displays (on sundays at the ball park) bobble head dolls made completely out of uneaten portions of hot-dog, bun, mustard and toothpicks to hold it together. They get really excited about it and talk about it all day, they chat, pm, made a blog and image gallery about it. Its really cute..

Edited by SpiritWriter

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
the1truebat

What Spiritwriter fails to mention, is that these people need help.

Serious psychiatric help, (especially OverSword.)

Instead of getting them the help they truly need, she enables them to cavort day and night in mustard and hotdog bits. When OverSword eats the chunky bits, she's always there with more she always has a smile, for she knows, that as long as she keeps theses sad sick individuals, (Especially OverSword) addicted to hotdogmustardchunkybits or h.m.c.b for short.

She'll have power over someone besides her pet hamster Timmy.

Oh and by the way, keep OverSword away from Timmy. I don't think we need a repeat of the "Gerbil Incident", don"t ask.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Keel M.

Due to the character limitations when creating usernames for this forum, the1truebat was not able to use his complete name: The One True Bat Dog. Mild mannered canine called Ralph during the day, he turns into the Terror of the Night as a bat flying around and torturing all of the nocturnal felines in neighbourhoods all around town.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
OverSword

Lady Kasey isn't much of a lady. Every other word that comes out of her mouth is the F word and she constantly scratches her crotch. It can be very distracting.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.