being/force inside of me

[KatyAD]

i recently found out i am not myself.

a part of me is, the one with my name, face, identity etc. my everyday persona is the sum of all parts. it is what has developed since my physical birth into this life.

BUT

in recent years i've felt another soul or being inside of me, which is hard to explain. it is formless and does not talk to me with words. i don't sense it as something with form, more like a force or a presence as an elemental force (huge fire, earthquake, a tsunami). it is immensely powerful and old, ancient. it moves inside me as a sleeping animal and it is emotionless. its cold and wise. i sometimes get in contact with it, sometimes it is unreachable. it has its own mind and sometimes i let it "Possess" me. it watches through my eyes as through windows and sees this human world. it will survive my physical death and carry all it learns over to the other side and incarnate in someone else. it has probably lived on this earth before. it is in touch with archetypes and angels. i feel it protects me and tries to act through me. i tried to tell a close friend and he thought i sounded like a schizo.

i tried to search the web for this but came up with nothing. it is in the back of my mind observing, always.

its not a negative force, just inhuman like nature.

I don't know, there are alot of closed minded people out there that don't believe in anything other than cold hard scintific facts. They believe if you experiance things like this, there is something wrong with you mentaly and you need medical help. But since this is a board of different openions I will give you mine. Let me put it to you this way, I have dealt with good and evil. I will tell you there is no in between. What is good is purely good and what is bad is purly bad. I've read lots of testamonise of both, and what you are experincing is probably something evil. Hear me out, demons or things that are demonic can invite themselves into your life without you even asking. I believe you might have a demon in you. The more you pay attention to it, the more it will come forth in you. I have heard of people who have this kind of things happen and totally black out for periods of time and then come back find themeselves in a totally different place. I'd give you advice but I am Christian, and if I do, this post could be deleted so I won't, but if you need help or have any other questions don't hesitate to email me.

-Katy

[wake up now]

demons as in malicious spirits? i have my ancestors in my blood and in my mind, they watch over me. if your will is concentrated you are as a pure diamond - impenetrable to all. if you have no self there is nothing to be attacked. evil spirits (sounds primitive though) use human emotions often enough to pry open a crack and fit themselves through. there are many degrees to them but the most powerful ones attack without warning with only the purpose to destroy the soul and body: to take hold of the vessel which is the body and use it to corrupt the pearl we call soul.

the true self strikes fear into these spirits and always shines through. to be free of ego control you are a true human being, no longer sleeping but awake inside the illusion.

[mattavich123]

demons as in malicious spirits? i have my ancestors in my blood and in my mind, they watch over me. if your will is concentrated you are as a pure diamond - impenetrable to all. if you have no self there is nothing to be attacked. evil spirits (sounds primitive though) use human emotions often enough to pry open a crack and fit themselves through. there are many degrees to them but the most powerful ones attack without warning with only the purpose to destroy the soul and body: to take hold of the vessel which is the body and use it to corrupt the pearl we call soul.

the true self strikes fear into these spirits and always shines through. to be free of ego control you are a true human being, no longer sleeping but awake inside the illusion.

I've lived my whole life and never experienced this or anyone I know.

I guess you have to believe in it for it to be "real".

Edited September 14, 2010 by mattavich123

[Agent. Mulder]

seeing a doctor seems laughable, i don't even know how to respond to that.

Respond by going.

[Mentalcase]

I still think this man needs to see a medical doctor, I suspect he's got a hormonal imbalance going on. Hell, he could have a brain tumor! There are many medical things that could cause this type of feeling! No one wants to be crazy and I don't think he is, crazies don't ask for help!!! He's looking for answers and I can't imagine anyone that could help him more than a medical doctor to rule out anything physical first then think about a mental problem which I really really doubt! Like I said, crazy people don't think they are crazy and they DO NOT ASK for help and he did. Give him some credit here, he took a chance that everyone would think he was crazy when he posted. It could very well be what John said also but get the medical reasons out of the way first.

That statement is so false dude. Not tryna step on your feet but, how can you make that basic assumption and not consider the possibilities and complexities of the human mind/spirit. I fully agree with everything else you said.

[Mentalcase]

I feel like you may be letting this all get to you man. There are lots of great feelings, emotions and epiphanies we feel through-out our lives, this is most likely just one of the millions you will feel before you die. You will most likely lose interest in all of this in some time. If there is something after you die, you will most likely never know consciously.

[John from Lowell]

demons as in malicious spirits? i have my ancestors in my blood and in my mind, they watch over me. if your will is concentrated you are as a pure diamond - impenetrable to all. if you have no self there is nothing to be attacked.

I very much like these principals that you describe. I agree with them and use these concepts myself.

evil spirits (sounds primitive though) use human emotions often enough to pry open a crack and fit themselves through. there are many degrees to them but the most powerful ones attack without warning with only the purpose to destroy the soul and body: to take hold of the vessel which is the body and use it to corrupt the pearl we call soul.

My perceptions of this are different. I see some of these things as energy residue. The soul can not be destroyed, as I see it. Your essence is not corrupted by the poor choices you make with the ego mind. It sees these as learning experiences that you can take into another lifetime.

the true self strikes fear into these spirits and always shines through. to be free of ego control you are a true human being, no longer sleeping but awake inside the illusion.

I agree with this perception. The more you can align with the perspectives of your essence, the more that the darker energies will avoid you. That is because lights destroys darkness. The real question is, What is light? Could it be Unconditional love for all ways of being? How does that work with the pure evil concept?

I suggest, find compassion for all ways of being. Even those who wish to harm you in some way. They are misguided and uninformed about the nature of energy and light.

John

[Agent. Mulder]

I don't know, there are alot of closed minded people out there that don't believe in anything other than cold hard scintific facts. They believe if you experiance things like this, there is something wrong with you mentaly and you need medical help. But since this is a board of different openions I will give you mine. Let me put it to you this way, I have dealt with good and evil. I will tell you there is no in between. What is good is purely good and what is bad is purly bad. I've read lots of testamonise of both, and what you are experincing is probably something evil. Hear me out, demons or things that are demonic can invite themselves into your life without you even asking. I believe you might have a demon in you. The more you pay attention to it, the more it will come forth in you. I have heard of people who have this kind of things happen and totally black out for periods of time and then come back find themeselves in a totally different place. I'd give you advice but I am Christian, and if I do, this post could be deleted so I won't, but if you need help or have any other questions don't hesitate to email me.

-Katy

Probably because those things Are, cold hard, scientific facts. Unlike many other things.

In many cases as well, science will show their condition is medical, so it seems likely to suggest that first to someone. If not, keep ruling things out until theres only one left.

If you proved your demon idea with cold hard scientific (or any kind of) facts, then we would agree with you Katy.

[greggK]

another thing i have noticed: there are entities separate from human intelligence that roam between spaces. lovecraft described this very well. on another level of vibration/reality (however you wanna call it) there are spirit remnants of the the deceased and also things not so nice. they constantly seek entrance into this world. they will accept any route available. imagine a huge barrel-shaped water reservoire with cracks in the bottom and also a valve to let out water. the water has only one way to move and it is downwards, through opening the valve manually or through the cracks: it does not matter. it will seek constantly to reach this side. these things have nothing to lose and everything to gain. to this day i have not guessed what they are. their motivations are beyond human comprehension.

why i'm telling this is that some people are gateways or somewhat like lighting rods. some are marked by these entities, they have an "owners mark" upon them that is not visible to the eye. around these people the paranormal manifest. they may not be conscious of it and have no way of stopping it. these things manipulate the human mind and this is not a metaphor. i find it surprising these things aren't mentioned when people are getting into the occult or messing around with "spirits". the psychological pressure alone can drive someone into hysteria.

What is there will be there when you are ready to see it. Opinions don't necessarily lead to facts. What you are saying is true, but what comes with the territory is responsibility. You cannot be responsible for something you do not know. If you are told something is true and it is presented to you, how would you know it exist if you are not responsible for it?

[Hp213]

Welcome to UM before saying what you think, you could have a medical issue, go see a doctor!

Respond by going.

[greggK]

Welcome to UM before saying what you think, you could have a medical issue, go see a doctor!

Yeah, doctor's are usually responsible.

[greggK]

Doctors venture into the unseen world with scalpels. They pry and prod. Many tools they use. They can tell. They know.

[Siara]

Actually, the fact that you seem resistant to seeing a doctor makes it seem like an even better idea to me. Sometimes when I REALLY don't feel like seeing a doctor there's an extra symptom that I've noticed subconsciously and I don't want to deal with it.

Going to the doctor is boring but it's good to rule the physical stuff out before you broaden your inquiry.

[greggK]

Actually, the fact that you seem resistant to seeing a doctor makes it seem like an even better idea to me. Sometimes when I REALLY don't feel like seeing a doctor there's an extra symptom that I've noticed subconsciously and I don't want to deal with it.

Going to the doctor is boring but it's good to rule the physical stuff out before you broaden your inquiry.

The Spirit in me just laughs.

Just say what we're all thinking, Hatch.

Edited September 15, 2010 by greggK

[Mr Walker]

You will have noticed you have recieved a great deal of divergent advice here. Thats natural. It reflects the many individual experiences, and thus conclusions, of individuals.

What is more problematic are those people who are certain their experiences pertain precisely to your own. My advice would be. Get expert professional advice, to rule out both organic or other problems.

A good doctor will judge not your mental functioning, but its effectiveness and your succesful operation and integration in society.

But they will refer you to specialists who can check the physical functioning of your brain. You would get a misfunctioning kidney or heart checked out so why not a mind?

And i say this as one who both converses with god, and has physical angels appearing in his life, along with a long list of paranormal experiences.

My doctors and specialists have all concluded that i am in perfect physical and psychological mental health, and exceptionaly well grounded and integrated into reality. They can detect no physical abnormalities in my brain or body.

They found i function at a very high level. They make no professional comments on my experiences, other than to categorise them as inexplicable, but they all told me that these are quite common occurences in perfectly normal and healthy human beings. (from their professional dealings.)

I would only get concerned if the entity within you tended to cause harm in any form, or encouraged you to harm in any way. If it is an interesting or empowering entity, then it may be one of many normal experiences within the natural parameters for the human mind.

But, I would get it checked. I had a hint of a heart problem. I had it checked, and saved my life. I did the same for my mind. and found no detectable problem at all. It pays not to mess with your health; physical or psychological.

[wake up now]

i have no complaints for a doctor. does anyone have any other advice besides that one?

[greggK]

i recently found out i am not myself.

a part of me is, the one with my name, face, identity etc. my everyday persona is the sum of all parts. it is what has developed since my physical birth into this life.

BUT

in recent years i've felt another soul or being inside of me, which is hard to explain. it is formless and does not talk to me with words. i don't sense it as something with form, more like a force or a presence as an elemental force (huge fire, earthquake, a tsunami). it is immensely powerful and old, ancient. it moves inside me as a sleeping animal and it is emotionless. its cold and wise. i sometimes get in contact with it, sometimes it is unreachable. it has its own mind and sometimes i let it "Possess" me. it watches through my eyes as through windows and sees this human world. it will survive my physical death and carry all it learns over to the other side and incarnate in someone else. it has probably lived on this earth before. it is in touch with archetypes and angels. i feel it protects me and tries to act through me. i tried to tell a close friend and he thought i sounded like a schizo.

i tried to search the web for this but came up with nothing. it is in the back of my mind observing, always.

its not a negative force, just inhuman like nature.

Yes, I think we all have something like that and this is what controls our thoughts that give rise to our actions. Does it have an inhuman like nature? As far as it can, it will return deed for deed. Let's say it is not in need of anything as far as It's own survival goes, but It cannot survive in this dimension without you. The demand of it is controlled by the supply you give. It is non-human just like Love is non-human, but It responds greater to that that is non-human.

You need food to be able to move and It knows that, but It does not need physical food so when you eat you are not giving It anything, but you are allowing It to move you. Deed for deed. The thoughts you have are the communications of It; the interpretation of those thoughts are the communications of you. Deed for deed.

You are right when you say the communication is not verbal, but the communication is controlled by the eyes and the visual cortex.

Humans in prison respond differently to pink rooms.

Edited September 16, 2010 by greggK

[Leah G.]

The Spirit in me just laughs.

Just say what we're all thinking, Hatch.

Don't think he will listen to me but I do think a doctor and possibly a exorcist is in order. Whatever this thing is it isn't good as he thinks, He is enjoying the power it gives him but it will turn on him. I don't want to read to much in to this, it's to creepy and I don't have enough experience to deal with it. I just hope he gets some help before it hurts him or someone else. It's old, I can tell you that.

Hatch.

[greggK]

Don't think he will listen to me but I do think a doctor and possibly a exorcist is in order. Whatever this thing is it isn't good as he thinks, He is enjoying the power it gives him but it will turn on him. I don't want to read to much in to this, it's to creepy and I don't have enough experience to deal with it. I just hope he gets some help before it hurts him or someone else. It's old, I can tell you that.

Hatch.

Whatever It is is of no concern. It is. The concern is what It can do. He is in control of It as much as It is in control of him. It can disappear from him and stay gone for a time while he goes to see a doctor and all the time It will be there and the doctor will see no problem. An exorcist now is a totally different ball of wax. An exorcist is really in the same class as a psychiatrist, but they are both external. It can hide from anybody anywhere and when It is totally silent, he will not even know It exist. Back to my statement, 'How would you know It exist unless you control It?'

[Leah G.]

Whatever It is is of no concern. It is. The concern is what It can do. He is in control of It as much as It is in control of him. It can disappear from him and stay gone for a time while he goes to see a doctor and all the time It will be there and the doctor will see no problem. An exorcist now is a totally different ball of wax. An exorcist is really in the same class as a psychiatrist, but they are both external. It can hide from anybody anywhere and when It is totally silent, he will not even know It exist. Back to my statement, 'How would you know It exist unless you control It?'

He's not, the entity is controlling him but letting him think he's in control and he will fight to keep his "LITTLE BUDDY" until it does something or makes him do something he doesn't like and then the enitiy will try to convince him that it was in his best intrest. This is going to get ugly.

Ok, Wake up now, try saying a prayer out loud, From the King James version of the Bible, Psalms 37

Let us know what happens when you read this out loud, try staring in to a mirror while you say it. If it's not evil nothing will happen. If it's all in your head, nothing will happen. If it's a brain tumor, nothing will happen. If it's as good as you think it will have nothing to be afraid of.

Hatch.

[wake up now]

then aren't you people controlling me?

[Leah G.]

then aren't you people controlling me?

No, it's a matter of choice at this point, either you choose to take advice given or don't, it's up to you. But do you really have anything to lose by taking the advice? What are you afraid of?

[wake up now]

it isn't telling me to do anything. it is just a helpful presence. some of you guys seem very negative and gripped by fear of not being in control.

i'm afraid of horses, needles and disco music.

[Leah G.]

it isn't telling me to do anything. it is just a helpful presence. some of you guys seem very negative and gripped by fear of not being in control.

i'm afraid of horses, needles and disco music.

You THINK it's helpful, those of us that sense things, sense it's not. Like I said, do what you want, you will anyway until it shows it's true face.

[wake up now]

ok.