being/force inside of me

[John from Lowell]

You THINK it's helpful, those of us that sense things, sense it's not. Like I said, do what you want, you will anyway until it shows it's true face.

I hate to keep correcting the use of words by others. I have described what I have sensed and it is not what you and the others have sensed.

You could have said that "many of us have sensed", however you implied that only those who retain your point of view can sense things. I can understand why you need to exclude any views that do not align with your own.

I seem to be alone in my perspective that the OP has the best insight on what is best for him. It is true that he is still looking for better information. He is wise to do that. I encourage that as well.

John

[Leah G.]

I hate to keep correcting the use of words by others. I have described what I have sensed and it is not what you and the others have sensed.

You could have said that "many of us have sensed", however you implied that only those who retain your point of view can sense things. I can understand why you need to exclude any views that do not align with your own.

I seem to be alone in my perspective that the OP has the best insight on what is best for him. It is true that he is still looking for better information. He is wise to do that. I encourage that as well.

John

You're right, I'm sorry. I didn't fully read your post and I should have. I feel you do have many gifts and are probably stronger than I am or at the very least MUCH more experienced. If you say he's ok then I'm happy with that. I do feel it's strength and I don't want to feel anything else. I'm still learning and can and should only speak for myself. I'd like some advice from you sometime, if it wouldn't be to much trouble, can I pm you?

Hatch.

[bLu3 de 3n3rgy]

Eh i actually agree with John here. I think what you're probably connecting to is some aspect of your soul/higher consciousness, but ultimately it's probably one of the most personal/intimate thing one can discover or come to terms with. Good luck with what is going on.

[John from Lowell]

You're right, I'm sorry. I didn't fully read your post and I should have. I feel you do have many gifts and are probably stronger than I am or at the very least MUCH more experienced. If you say he's ok then I'm happy with that. I do feel it's strength and I don't want to feel anything else. I'm still learning and can and should only speak for myself. I'd like some advice from you sometime, if it wouldn't be to much trouble, can I pm you?

Hatch.

Yes you can PM me any time. I do have the experience to know that none of us ever stop learning.

Thank you for your authentic response.

John

[Tana Hoy]

Excellent posts everyone! Also, I would suggest learning about channeling, it may contain answers to your experiences. I like the book called Channeling, by Sanaya Romans.

[wake up now]

in time with the awakening i became more active in the arts, especially painting. i was never good at painting anything, then i started to paint symbols. after some smaller paintings i felt a need to express myself so i painted my wall white and used oil based paints to do this:

[kapsha]

in time with the awakening i became more active in the arts, especially painting. i was never good at painting anything, then i started to paint symbols. after some smaller paintings i felt a need to express myself so i painted my wall white and used oil based paints to do this:

The language used seems so angry...

[wake up now]

oh thats just a line from ginsberg

[Slorri]

in time with the awakening i became more active in the arts, especially painting. i was never good at painting anything, then i started to paint symbols. after some smaller paintings i felt a need to express myself so i painted my wall white and used oil based paints to do this:

That's quite an achievement, I would say. Have you just done this?

[Leah G.]

Sorry, the only word I can come up with is TERRIFYING!

[Mr Walker]

i have no complaints for a doctor. does anyone have any other advice besides that one?

The problem with this is that really you(like me) are not professionally qualified to say this. The symptoms you describe are indicative of something. Other than a professional, where are you going to get really helpful advice?

I would want to eliminate causes like a tumor, or minor stroke /aneurysm, for example. Those things can kill you before you even know you have a problem.

Now doctors dont have all the answers, by any means, but they are good at what they do.

Once you know you are well and healthy, you can deal with your inner self more calmly and without fear. You can work productively with it, to transform your life.

Steps include verification Of "the entity," Understanding of its form and function. Integration of it into the rest of your life. Deciding what meaning it has, and how to build on tha tmeaning, as much as on the reality of its existence.

Many of us have had to deal with such things, logically and productively.

[markprice]

He is not asking for medical help, so why would you all suggest he see a doctor?

Is there such a thing as projected paranoia?

IT COULD BE A BRAIN TUMOR!

(that's real helpful)

edit: that was my impression from the first page of this thread...I see there is more now...

Edited September 17, 2010 by markprice

[markprice]

I've lived my whole life and never experienced this or anyone I know.

That explains a lot.

[markprice]

awesome.

[Mr Walker]

He is not asking for medical help, so why would you all suggest he see a doctor?

Is there such a thing as projected paranoia?

IT COULD BE A BRAIN TUMOR!

(that's real helpful)

edit: that was my impression from the first page of this thread...I see there is more now...

Well if it was me (and it actually has been me in a very similar scenario) that is the FIRST thing i would eliminate. (and i did)

I still walk with a physical and powerful god in my life, encounter angels, and have paranormal "powers,' but what ever the cause of this/these is, (i now know from the best medical advice available) nothing harmful to me, and so i can get on with a productive life, free of any worry.

[quiXilver]

Science can be such a religion. Cold hard facts and misperception often walk hand in hand. The cold hard fact that the earth was the center of the universe and the stars revolved around it, was a cold hard fact for eons based on misunderstanding of the higher reality.

It's hard to remain open when your reality tunnel is threatened by an alternate view that is equally valid, so the thinly veiled (or outright) attacks are understandable. Your non-defensive responses indicate you are indeed connecting in the moment and reflect your intent to discover and explore.

What you are describing is discussed among the gnostic traditions of all the major religions and relates to the conscious connection to the higher or divine aspect of self. It's the perfectly natural state that exists when your mind stops dominating every moment with chatter, or invented problems it can solve and you enter the state of being which is the timeless/eternal present moment.

Edited September 17, 2010 by quiXilver

[wake up now]

thank you all!

i don't need to get defensive because there is nothing to defend. if it were a mere debate it would mean that there were opinions that fought each other. it would be a meaningless waste of energy. arguments are for theoretical concepts, i am reporting direct experiences as they are without letting my ego interfere. thus the less i let my ego dominate my behaviour = nothing to be attacked and i have no reason to be defensive.

that painting took about half a year on and off, it really was tedious work but i let my mind drift and not think about how i never held a brush before etc. i named it "the eye of the wolf" because it turned out it looks like a huge eye with the pupil in the center. i also had dreams where a spirit told me that upon finishing it it would become a gateway, a portal for a beast (wolf, dragon). i've had people stare at it and they see the painting moving like a pit of snakes. i'd really like to do another one but alas i lack the space and time.

[markprice]

Well if it was me (and it actually has been me in a very similar scenario) that is the FIRST thing i would eliminate. (and i did)

I still walk with a physical and powerful god in my life, encounter angels, and have paranormal "powers,' but what ever the cause of this/these is, (i now know from the best medical advice available) nothing harmful to me, and so i can get on with a productive life, free of any worry.

Yeah, I did that too back in high school with a cat-scan, psychologists etc. and they were no help, or not much help at all--I would have preferred a treatable physical cause. But this is an unexplained mysteries forum that consistently recommends a doctor! I mean someone suggests you see a doctor and you say: been there done that, end of/

And what if someone had not or could not see a doctor for financial reasons etc. Does that mean their struggle is no longer valid when most likely no doctor could deal with it even if they tried? Usually the best they can do is mask the problem and then the solution is never found...also many people don't want an artificial remedy to something they are just beginning to understand. It takes a long time to figure out what is going on before any kind of conclusion is possible, if the person actually wants a conclusion--personal choice.

[Mr Walker]

Yeah, I did that too back in high school with a cat-scan, psychologists etc. and they were no help, or not much help at all--I would have preferred a treatable physical cause. But this is an unexplained mysteries forum that consistently recommends a doctor! I mean someone suggests you see a doctor and you say: been there done that, end of/

And what if someone had not or could not see a doctor for financial reasons etc. Does that mean their struggle is no longer valid when most likely no doctor could deal with it even if they tried? Usually the best they can do is mask the problem and then the solution is never found...also many people don't want an artificial remedy to something they are just beginning to understand. It takes a long time to figure out what is going on before any kind of conclusion is possible, if the person actually wants a conclusion--personal choice.

Sorry mark. Confused you with the OP. Most of the following applies to him, and i hope he also has got some professional advice. Glad you found yourself to be well. I understand what you mean about almost wishing there was an organic, discoverable, and treatable cause, but for me, knowing i was physically and psychologically healthy allowed me peace of mind, and the ability to focus on what this entity really, was and how to engage with it productively.

To wake up now

In the end i came to the same opinions you did, but i started by getting a complete physical check up. Given that you have done that, and are physically well, you can correctly concentrate on understanding and utilising the force which you find within you. Obviously the visual arts is one outlet for the force, but you may find others manifest themselves over time.

The only thing that concerns me is that you seem to limiting yourself with negative thoughts and expectations. Try to remain as positive as you can in everything, and focussed on the productive elements of such a force.

I forget sometmes how lucky i am to live in Australia. 2 weeks in a cardiac unit in one of the world's top cardiac hospitals, a triple by pass, many doctors, and several top specialists, and the total cost? $0.

And i dont have any private medical insurance:) (or ironically i would have had to pay some of the hospital cost. I would also have had a choice of hospitals and specialists, and still have chosen the ones i got for free)

Edited September 19, 2010 by Mr Walker

[wake up now]

there's not a lot of negativity/positivity up there in the self-realm. in fact there's no dualism.

[markprice]

there's not a lot of negativity/positivity up there in the self-realm. in fact there's no dualism.

And then there's art: the most horrifying drawing, painting, sculpture can seem negative, sad, scary etc., but the fact that it is art is always positive. Music can transcend all, in my experience. If it wasn't for art I'd be dead.

[Melamity]

Is it me? Or do alot people on this board have a fear of getting checked out by a doctor. Heck, I love my doc. I would want to rule out things.

I love my doctor too but I'd rather not see him because it means I am sick Sorry I just found your comment funny. Carry on. Oh and I agree with everyone else go see a doctor. You could have a brain tumor or something serious. If you embarrassed just say you think there might be something wrong with the way your thinking and you want to get it checked out. It might take awhile to get something sorted but you are far better off to check that it's nothing physically or mental wrong with you. And if it is something wrong with you mentally it's nothing to be ashamed of, mental illness is a disease just like every other illness. Its not a weakness. Not that I am saying your mentally ill, just that it's nothing to be ashamed of.

[Sakari]

Thats what I think as well. But if you told a doctor about your higher self they would most likely write you a prescription because they either haven't heard of it or believe in it.

Which in the end makes you wonder... who is really sane or in need of help, the so called doctor or the so called patient?

Right , because a Doctor whom has had years of education , and experience would know more than someone on a forum...

Topics like these are scary , for the person who started them.....

Listen to a educated person whom's profession is not commenting on forums when it comes to medical advice...And , I agree , see a Doctor.

[markprice]

Right , because a Doctor whom has had years of education , and experience would know more than someone on a forum...

Topics like these are scary , for the person who started them.....

Listen to a educated person whom's profession is not commenting on forums when it comes to medical advice...And , I agree , see a Doctor.

But this IS a forum. If someone was interested in seeing a doctor they would. Problem is there is not much doctors can do about personal experience. Why is every experience a possible brain tumor? Yeah I know you want to rule it out, but you all remind me of Woody Allen/hypochondriacs.

[Sakari]

But this IS a forum. If someone was interested in seeing a doctor they would. Problem is there is not much doctors can do about personal experience. Why is every experience a possible brain tumor? Yeah I know you want to rule it out, but you all remind me of Woody Allen/hypochondriacs.

Only because I wold hate to see anyone that may have a issue that needs medical attention take comments from a forum as the answer.

I have no problem with anyone seeking advice , but when someone tells them doctors will not help ( in so many ways) , I just think this is wrong.