'Twas the Night Before Installation

[Druidus-Logos]

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE INSTALLATION

===================================

'Twas the night before installation,

And all through the shop,

Not a program was working,

It sure was a flop.

The programmers hung by their tubes in despair,

In hope that a miracle soon would be there.

The users were nestled all snug in their beds

While visions of inquiries danced in their heads.

When out in the hall there arose such a clatter

I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.

And what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a Super-Programmer (with a six-pack of beer).

His resume glowed with experience so rare,

He turned out great code with a bit-pusher's flair.

More rapid than eagles, his programs they came,

And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:

On Update! On Add! On Inquiry! On Delete!

On Batch! On Closing! On Functions Complete!

His eyes were glazed over, fingers nimble and lean,

From weekends and nights in front of a screen.

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

Turning specs into code; then turned with a jerk,

And laying a finger upon the "Enter" key,

The system came up and worked perfectly.

The Updates updated, the Deletes, they deleted;

The inquiries inquired, and Closing completed.

He tested each whistle and each bell,

with nary an abend, and all had gone well.

The system was finished, the tests were concluded;

The users' last changes were even included.

And the users exclaimed with a snarl and a taunt,

"It's just what I asked for, but not what I want!"

[From an anonymous printout from somewhere in California]

[maca02]

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE INSTALLATION

===================================

'Twas the night before installation,

And all through the shop,

Not a program was working,

It sure was a flop.

The programmers hung by their tubes in despair,

In hope that a miracle soon would be there.

The users were nestled all snug in their beds

While visions of inquiries danced in their heads.

When out in the hall there arose such a clatter

I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.

And what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a Super-Programmer (with a six-pack of beer).

His resume glowed with experience so rare,

He turned out great code with a bit-pusher's flair.

More rapid than eagles, his programs they came,

And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:

On Update! On Add! On Inquiry! On Delete!

On Batch! On Closing! On Functions Complete!

His eyes were glazed over, fingers nimble and lean,

From weekends and nights in front of a screen.

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

Turning specs into code; then turned with a jerk,

And laying a finger upon the "Enter" key,

The system came up and worked perfectly.

The Updates updated, the Deletes, they deleted;

The inquiries inquired, and Closing completed.

He tested each whistle and each bell,

with nary an abend, and all had gone well.

The system was finished, the tests were concluded;

The users' last changes were even included.

And the users exclaimed with a snarl and a taunt,

"It's just what I asked for, but not what I want!"

[From an anonymous printout from somewhere in California]