Still Waters Posted September 23, 2010 #1 Share Posted September 23, 2010 Zombies get more press, but garden gnomes may be a bigger threat to public safety.Or so says Chuck Sambuchino of Cincinnati, who is on a one-man crusade to warn his fellow citizens about the looming dangers garden gnomes present to America's suburbs and rural areas. "As many as 10 percent of unsolved cold cases probably involve garden gnomes," Sambuchino told AOL News. "It's a serious problem. Read more... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
schizoidwoman Posted September 23, 2010 #2 Share Posted September 23, 2010 I've never come across "the lawn jockey" before reading this story, it's certainly a new one on me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rocketgirl33 Posted September 23, 2010 #3 Share Posted September 23, 2010 Good book for the worried garden gnome owners out there! Rid your yard of their evil little faces now while you still can! Buy the book so that you will be sure to survive an attack when it happens, and it looks like from this artical, the attack will happen! Always be prepared! Rocketgirl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~TheBigK~ Posted September 23, 2010 #4 Share Posted September 23, 2010 "It's almost like they hired a PR company to create a campaign that would make their image more cuddly, rather than the murderous murderers they really are." "The rain hitting the roof masks the sound of drilling through the wall," he said. "They attack you in bed, which is why I recommend making papier-mache copies of you and putting them in the other bedrooms. That way, if they attack you, you have time to see it happening and escape." Hahaha. This man is my hero. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormcrow Posted September 23, 2010 #5 Share Posted September 23, 2010 I am gonna get me some garden gnomes. They might know the Travelocity fellow, they could get you some good deals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonathanVonErich Posted September 23, 2010 #6 Share Posted September 23, 2010 "As many as 10 percent of unsolved cold cases probably involve garden gnomes," This man is crazy...Come on, 10 percent...Who's gonna believe that !?? Ridiculous.... I think it's more like 5 percent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farandaway Posted September 23, 2010 #7 Share Posted September 23, 2010 I've known it all along...finally, someone has the courage to speak out against these hideous, insidious, evil creatures! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonathanVonErich Posted September 23, 2010 #8 Share Posted September 23, 2010 But of course nobody talk about how many Garden Gnomes are killed every year. I'm sure thousands of gnomes are killed by humans each year. Ok, some are self-defense murders but still...Think about the Gnomes for a minute !! Look, you can see the fear in his eyes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~TheBigK~ Posted September 23, 2010 #9 Share Posted September 23, 2010 But of course nobody talk about how many Garden Gnomes are killed every year. I'm sure thousands of gnomes are killed by humans each year. Ok, some are self-defense murders but still...Think about the Gnomes for a minute !! Look, you can see the fear in his eyes. That's not fear. That's just his misleading little ways trying to catch you off-guard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Still Waters Posted September 23, 2010 Author #10 Share Posted September 23, 2010 Good book for the worried garden gnome owners out there! Rid your yard of their evil little faces now while you still can! Buy the book so that you will be sure to survive an attack when it happens, and it looks like from this artical, the attack will happen! Always be prepared! Rocketgirl If you buy the book you can use it to whack the gnomes with Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IamsSon Posted September 23, 2010 #11 Share Posted September 23, 2010 Garden Gnomes. That explains SO much!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mac E Posted September 24, 2010 #12 Share Posted September 24, 2010 Sounds like an entertaining book to read. It makes me want to put a camera on my gnome. Just in case it moves. And if it does move, I'll sell it on ebay as a bizzare statue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashyne Posted September 24, 2010 #13 Share Posted September 24, 2010 This is like the Max Brooks book The Zombie Survival Guide... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rocketgirl33 Posted September 24, 2010 #14 Share Posted September 24, 2010 If you buy the book you can use it to whack the gnomes with Thanks, good advice! I think in this case I will set the dogs on the little heathens! ((I have a friend who has a whole yard full of these little boogars, Iam going to buy her the book and give it to her at christmas!!)) Rocketgirl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thewild Posted September 24, 2010 #15 Share Posted September 24, 2010 I have seen some gnome footage.. lessee, here we go. On youtube (very scary!!!). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonathanVonErich Posted September 24, 2010 #16 Share Posted September 24, 2010 I don't trust that one. Seems too realistic to me. And we don't know what's in the pipe. Looks like a rapist. But i won't say that, i'm a classy guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meankitty Posted September 24, 2010 #17 Share Posted September 24, 2010 They are a menace. As I recall even the Weasleys had a garden gnome infestation at the Burrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+susieice Posted September 25, 2010 #18 Share Posted September 25, 2010 Sounds like an entertaining book to read. It makes me want to put a camera on my gnome. Just in case it moves. And if it does move, I'll sell it on ebay as a bizzare statue. Don't forget to post first. We want to be the first to know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D_DIDDY Posted September 25, 2010 #19 Share Posted September 25, 2010 Thank god, it's about time. If i had a nickel for everytime i've been attacked by one of these monsters, i'd be rich, very rich. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonathanVonErich Posted September 25, 2010 #20 Share Posted September 25, 2010 (edited) Scary picture here...A garden Gnomes reunion...I wonder what they were planning that day...Maybe raping our grand-mothers and taking all the cookies from the cookie jar. Edited September 25, 2010 by JonathanVonErich Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arglebargle Posted September 25, 2010 #21 Share Posted September 25, 2010 They are creatures of pure hate, and should be exterminated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
booNyzarC Posted September 25, 2010 #22 Share Posted September 25, 2010 All of this propaganda giving garden gnomes a bad wrap makes it really difficult for the good ones to get ahead in life. It's not right I tell you. :angry2: Why, just the other day one was turned away from an interview at my office just because he was a garden gnome. The hiring manager completely ignored all of the qualifications on his resume and stopped the poor little guy at the front door without so much as a hello. It's no wonder they might get a little upset with that kind of racial profiling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonathanVonErich Posted September 25, 2010 #23 Share Posted September 25, 2010 I agree with you Boo, but most of the times Garden Gnomes are searching for trouble. Just look at the evidence i found: I think 90% of Garden Gnomes are evil and wants to hurt humans. Of course I say this with absolutely no scientific evidence whatsoever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
booNyzarC Posted September 25, 2010 #24 Share Posted September 25, 2010 Oh my goodness... what strange things we human beings create... Not only did someone come up with that particular garden gnome concept, they actually created a cast for it, produced it, painted it, and marketed it. The only thing worse is that other people purchased it... That picture is wrong on so many levels JVE... ROFL Good job! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donnie Darko Posted September 25, 2010 #25 Share Posted September 25, 2010 Alright so apparently this is some big joke to most everyone...but...what's the real story behind these creatures? Wasn't there somekind of footage filmed last year by some young people in Argentina? Also, previous to the said footage, there had/have been numerous reports of sightings. I have heard only a few stories regarding gnomes. There's also footage of a small "Gnome-like" creature dissapearing into a wall while a few kids play..ofcourse they scream and run out. Now, I have no prove ofcourse(as these things go..)but...at my aunt's house, which my be a portal for the unexplained(half joking), there were sightings. Small creatures running around on two feet dissapearing into walls. There was one extremely chilling experience I had during the day time no less.... When I was about 7 years old(give or take one), I slept over at my aunts house from time to time. On this day I woke up on the couch at around 9am..so anyway everyone was asleep I walked around for a bit..inside the house..then proceeded to fall asleep on the floor. Well truthfully I wasn't very tired so I just layed there with my eyes closed trying to fall asleep..when my eyes began to feel a tad heavy something unusual and frightening occured... Something began pulling my hair with its claws. Keep in mind, there was no cats or dogs...and I doubt it was a mouse, possible but there are sounds it made me to believe otherwise...so it began growling..or like a demon..kind of groaning..and I sensed it was doing it to scare me too. I could feel its feet and nails pulling my hair and poking at my scalp..it was enjoying that I was panicked yet paralyzed with fear..I wanted to open my eyes so badly..but what would I do? After about 2 minutes(that seemed like forever)it walked away..I could here tiny footsteps..anyway...could it have been a gnome? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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