Jump to content
Join the Unexplained Mysteries community today! It's free and setting up an account only takes a moment.
- Sign In or Create Account -

mah storeh


tendo

Recommended Posts

sum of u may remember when i asked sum questions bout writing, well...here's what i have so far...its a love story, just so ya know...and, plz, be critical...very...tho dont be mean about it, lol. i want to know evryone's honest opinion...fave part, least fave part...and so on...ok, ty...now heres the story

(Preface)

Josh watched her in the bed, his heart skipping a beat any time he heard her give out a sigh, normal for one who’s asleep. Her breathing was a bit troubled, he wasn’t sure whether it was her sickness or a bad dream. He was too afraid to go to sleep. What if something were to happen to her? He wouldn’t even know.

He began to think of her, of them, of everything they’d been through. And now, all that was going to come to a screeching halt. He’d often wondered what he would do without her. He never thought he would have to actually deal with it. At least until they were old. He felt the tears breaking though just from the thought of losing her, losing the one person he loved more than anyone, no, anything in the world. The one he would give anything to, and to whom he’d already given so much. Josh began to weep, and through the tears, he sighed a prayer, “Lord, I know I haven’t been perfect, and neither has Bekah, but please, God, she doesn’t deserve this. Please, end her pain and suffering, and soon. Amen.”

With the weariness of the stress and the crying piled upon him, stacked on top of days without sleep, he began to drift into a slumber as he ended his prayer.

Josh awoke, to his body being shaken by a nurse. “I think you need some rest, there’s a cot in the waiting room.” she said politely.

“Oh, alright.” he complied, and after telling her, “I love you.” he left to the waiting room. There, he looked at his kids, leaning on one another in the seats, and slowly fell back asleep, and began to dream.

(Final chapter)

He awoke, realizing that he had just been dreaming, and he saw two nurses talking to one another, looking a bit upset, and periodically glancing at him. One of them noticed he was awake, and broke off the conversation and slowly walked towards Josh. She knelt to be eye level with him. He noticed the uneasiness of her face. “Sir, I’m afraid I have some bad news...” she trailed off.

“No, please, I know what’s coming. You don’t have to say it. And I don’t want to hear it.”

“I’m very sorry, sir. She did leave us with some last words though. She became alert enough to mouth the words ‘I love you.’ and we can only assume they were left for you.” she glanced at his children in the row of seats behind him. “Would you like me to tell them for you? I realize this can be very hard.”

“No, I’m their dad, I should do it.” even though he didn’t know how he was going to.

“Alright, I’ll leave you to that then.” and with that, she walked off. He had been expecting this for some time, but couldn’t believe that it was actually happening now. He had just held her hand a few hours ago, and now, his love, his life, was gone. He simply couldn’t take it, and there, he broke down. Tears and sighs were all he could produce for the next ten minutes.

After he finally got back some of his composure, he turned and looked at his kids, sound asleep. As he looked at them through his dried out eyes, he whispered a soft prayer of thanks, and then walked over to his children to tell them the news, fearing just how they would react. He looked at his youngest. “Looks just like her mommy when she sleeps...an angel.” he said to himself.

Josh nudged Joey awake. “What is it, dad?” One look at his face told him just what was wrong. Joey hugged his dad, and despite his teenage pride, sighed out a crackling, “daddy.”

This woke Benji and Harliegh up. Benji caught on right away as to what was happening, and immediately joined the hug, being squeezed almost as breathless as his dad. The little one was a bit unsure. She hadn’t dealt with any death, other than her goldfish, which her mommy said went to see its friends out in the ocean. She did sense something was going on though, and just stared at her daddy with widened, watering eyes, waiting for an answer. He just looked up at her and extended his arm, creating a gap just big enough for her tiny body. She stared at her dad and said, with all of a child’s innocence and naivete, “is mommy better yet?”

Josh’s heart sank. He squeezed her close to him, holding her blonde waves in his trembling hand. He finally pulled her away from him, just enough to look at her face, looked at her confused, blue eyes, and said “honey, mommy went to Heaven.”

“Oh. Well, will she be better when she comes back?” Josh could barely stop himself from breaking down again. “No, dear, mommy’s not coming back.”

“Why not? Doesn’t she like us anymore?”

“Of course, sweetheart. She loves us all, especially you, more than anything. She just went to Heaven, because Jesus wanted her to be with Him.”

“Oh.” she said as she recalled what she heard about Jesus from her few Sunday school classes. She then began to cry, but all she really understood was that she wouldn’t see her mommy again.

The next few days were full of a sort of calm chaos. Around the house, everyone feeling kind of panicked, and edgy, but too sunken by grief and sorrow to do anything, even such routine things as brushing teeth and making lunch. Rarely did anyone eat a full meal, if they ate at all.

At the viewing, Josh barely had any energy to talk to his family and friends. He had tried to, for lack of a better term, make his rounds, as he had seen Bekah’s closest friends. He recognized Lyssa right away, but Joline had changed quite a bit. He talked to them for a little while, but they decided he seemed too upset, as they knew how much he loved Bekah from the stories she’d told them, and talked him into sitting down to rest.

After a few minutes, Dave came in and stood by him, offering the minimal, yet highly appreciated, guy-to-guy pat on the back. Josh smiled at him with tears in his eyes, and neither one of them ever said a word. He barely even noticed when Julie walked in. He hadn’t seen her since the day before his wedding. He missed her mostly because he was wondering how he would raise the kids without Bekah. He knew with help, he could manage. It would be tough, but he could manage.

And aside from the occasional hug, or offering of condolences, people left him alone to think about it.

The next day was the funeral. Bobbi showed up and greeted Josh with a hug, and “I’m so sorry.” He’d heard that so much in the past few days that it barely had any meaning any more. Bobbi apologized for not being able to come sooner. “I was held up at the airport...twice. And I didn’t even hear about this until the day after.”

“Quite alright. It’s good to see you again.”

“Would u walk up to the casket with me? I’m a little nervous.”

“I’m sorry, but, right now, I just can’t. I have to work up the courage myself. It seems until I see her laying in there, she’s still alive, and I want to hold on as long as I can.”

“I understand.” as she said that, she went up to pay her last respects.

Josh finally worked up the nerve to walk up to see her. It was right before they closed the lid. He stared at her peaceful body lying in the pine box. As he stared, he leaned over the side of the casket and kissed her lifeless lips, still softer than the satin she lay in. As he grasped her cold, stiff hand, he whispered into her ear, “I love you more.”

Edited by tendo
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 
  • Replies 9
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • tendo

    4

  • Daughter of the Nine Moons

    4

  • The Cheat

    1

  • seventh_son

    1

Right on Tendo!!! What a fabulous story! original.gifthumbsup.gif

You had me hooked right from the start.

Dot original.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites

rawk on dude, rawk on. This story gets more amazing each time you add something. I only have one criticism... you keep making me come this close to crying *holds up fingers, about a milimeter apart* stop it, you evil thing tongue.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey Tendo,

A fine job my friend. Please let us know of any additions to your story as now i am hooked!

post-68-1092088844.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites

well, here's what i have so far of the very beginning of the story...lol, u guys are gonna read this allll outta order. It was Josh’s 10th grade year. He had a pretty good hold on things. He knew what he could and couldn’t do. Who he could and couldn’t talk to. Who he did and didn’t like. He also knew the pecking order. There were new kids this year, and he wasn’t one of them. He now had fresh meat to pick on, bully around, and intimidate. He couldn’t wait.

As he roamed the halls, tripping and knocking books out of the hands of the youngsters, he saw his friend, Bobbi. “Hey! What’s up?”

“Nothin’. Excited about the first day?”

“Haha, yeah! We’re no longer the ones getting pushed all around, and we can do the pushing.”

“Hehe, you’re terrible.”

Josh put his foot out to trip another passerby, and heard the thud following it, but then, a loud “OUCH!” came afterwards. He looked to see a girl with brown hair and blonde highlights. That same hair was in her face, and brushed aside to reveal the most beautiful, deep, brown eyes he had ever seen. And as soon as he had seen them, his tune totally changed.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t see you walking there. Are you ok? Here, let me get those for you.” She smiled at his kindness...and cuteness, as he held out his hand to help her up.

“Yeah, I’m fine, thanks.” she blushed as she brushed the dirt off of her shirt. Bobbi just stared on, laughing inside at the o so obvious sparks that were going on between josh and this little chick, whoever the heck she was.

“Sorry again. I gotta get going to class though. You don’t have to worry. Teachers are always easy on the young bloods. I guess I’ll see you around.”

“Yep. Guess so.” she said as Josh and Bobbi walked off to find their friend, David, before they headed to class.

“What was that about?” Bobbi remarked with her characteristic sarcastic smirk.

“What was what about?”

“That whole thing. I saw the look you gave that new chick.. It was so obvious you were diggin’ her. It was love at first sight.” she remarked with sarcasm oozing from her voice.

As they turned the corner Josh shoved her into a locker. “shu’p, ho. I was not”

“Yeah, whatever.” and as soon as she said that, she bumped into Dave.

“Hey guys! What’s going on?” he asked.

“Not much...Joshy here is just in loooove” Bobbi told him, and Dave couldn’t just let that go.

“Oh, really? Who might she be? Sarah? Debbi? I know you’ve had your eye on Amber for a while.”

“Shut up, you guys. I’m not in love, I didn’t like her, and I wasn’t even looking at her. I just felt bad because I hurt her when I tripped her.” Josh retorted in efforts to save himself. They were to no avail.

“No, come on, tell me. Who was it?”

“Hey.” a meek voice came from behind him. He turned around to see the girl from before.

“Oh, hi. We have to get going. Bye.” he then hurried down the hall, pushing Bobbi and Dave along with him. They both started laughing at him.

“Oh, it was her. Going after the young ones I see.”

“Haha, yeah, he’s turning into a pedophile.”

“Shut up. We have to go to class. I’ll see you guys later.” They all went to their first period classes. It was the first day, so they did nothing, and just got rubrics and syllabi. As Josh walked out, he bumped into that same girl from before. She was too nervous to say anything. She just handed Josh a note and walked hurriedly away. He was afraid to read it. He thought that she had mistaken his kindness earlier for a hint of attraction, and wanted to now go out or something. He opened it, and all of his fears were relieved.

“Hey. My name is Rebekah. Thanks for helping me up in the hall. That was really nice. I just wanted to let you know that I was really nervous about coming to this new school, but you made my day start off a little nicer. I hope we’ll talk later. Bye bye. .

Bekah”

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i havent gotten much more written to the story...i have added this description of bobbi: Bobbi was a pretty normal girl. Though her interest in “guy” things, such as video games, guns and violence, was a little more than orthodox for most women. Not too tall, not too short, cute, smart, and incredibly sarcastic. She dressed kinda punky, but not so much that every body thought she was a rebel against society. She was also Dave’s best friend. Strictly plutonic.

and this short little bit added to what i have posted already: It wasn’t as bad as he suspected. No “I like you”s or “want to hang out some time?” and he could live with that. He thought she was pretty cute, but that was it. Or at least that’s all he would admit to himself. Just as he made it to his locker to put that note away before anyone saw, he saw Rebekah out of the corner of his eye. He tried to ignore her, but she approached him. “Hi again.”

“Hi. Oh, my name is Josh, by the way.” Bekah grinned at this.

“I like that name.” there was an awkward silence at this time. Nervously, Rebekah just blurted out “good bye” and walked away in a hurry. Josh thought this to be a little strange, but just brushed it off as her being nervous or something. David then ran up and jumped on him from behind.

“Hey there, lover boy!” he began to laugh.

“Shut up, loser.” Josh laughed as well. “I don’t like her. I just met the girl.”

“I know, but nobody is safe from a good ball busting now and then.” Dave was quite the character. Kinda tall, lanky. He can always get a laugh out of the crowd, whether he means to or not.

A bit strange, and not the brightest crayon in the box, but always there if u need him. Josh confided his most private secrets to him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...

i havent posted in a while...heres what ive gotten so far...

“I mean, sure, she is pretty hott, but...”

“WHAT?” Dave interceded, “she’s like...a newbie...fresh meat...you can’t like her...she’s the enemy...it’s got to break SOME rule...” He looked around, with a suspicious gaze in his eyes, as he does when he gets into his rules and scenarios of fake circumstances and conspiracy theories.

“Hahaha. Can I get some of that?”

“Some of what?” Dave asked curiously.

“Some of the crack that u smoke!” They both broke out into laughter, and walked into their 7th period class.

It was finally the end of the day. Josh, Bobbi, and Dave were all walking to their busses, as Josh felt himself being tripped up. He didn’t quite fall, just stumbled a little. When he turned to look for what tripped him, he saw a white Nike with a baby blue swoosh. He followed a slender leg up to a pair of denim short shorts, then up to a pink roxy shirt, and right above that he saw Bekah’s smirking face staring at him. He laughed, acknowledging the fact that she had gotten him back, but it was all in good fun. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” he said as he began to walk away.

“Guess so.” she said cutely as she smiled and waved.

The next day, things went a little smoother in school. The younger kids had gotten a little more used to how the scheme of things went, and the older kids got quickly back into the rut of class after class. Josh went to all of his classes without seeing Bekah at all, though most definitely not without hearing about her from Dave and Bobbi. They wouldn’t shut up about her. Well, her and him. Or her liking him. Or him liking her. Or him liking “the young’ns” as Bobbi put it. But, when the end of the day came about, there she was. She was standing right by the doors. She looked lost in thought. Josh tried to avoid her, but she saw him, and ran to him and handed him a note. She didn’t say a word, but ran to her bus as soon as he took it. He proceeded to open it when he got to his seat on the bus. The bumps made it a little hard to read, but between bus stops and stop signs, he made everything out.

“Josh,

hiya. Whats ^? N2MH. Class is boring. I can’t believe they’re making me take general math...I should at least be in prealgebra or something. I hate this class. Sorry, I’m rambling.

How’s everything? Yer friends? Yer family? You? Hope they’re all good. I am...well, pretty good anyways. Don’t like high school...it’s too big and rushed. Write me a note back this time. You mite not find me, leave it in my locker. Its number is 1249. Well, I better go.

Luv,

Bekah”

Josh felt his throat go dry. He had hoped nothing was going to happen. The note in and of itself hinted that she liked him, but nothing in the note did. Save for that last part. “Luv.” Why did she have to write luv? It would be worse if she wrote love. “Lots of girls write “luv” in their notes, rite? Rite. She doesn’t like me.” Josh tried to delude himself, but deep down, he knew what was happening. When he got home, he wrote her a note back.

“Bekah,

hi. Evrybody is ok, thanks for asking, but, could u calm down with the notes? It’s the second day of school, and the second note you’ve given me, and if u keep it up, my friends will think that there is something going on between us. And I don’t think you want that, do you? Well, just so this isn’t the shortest note in history, ill write a little bit more. There, that should be good enough. I’m going to go. I have homework...on the second day, how crappy is that? Bye.

Josh”

He got to school, and just as she said, he couldn’t find her. He even looked and waited. No sign of her. He wasn’t going to ask one of her friends if she was here. And he really couldn’t ask one of his friends or else he would never live it down. So, after he put the note in her locker, he went on with his day as normal. It was toward the end of the day, and he was very glad about that.

“Hey there, pimp. Seduce any little girls again? Or you still workin’ on that first one?”

“Ha, shut up, Dave.” Josh said as he punched him in the arm. Dave smiled and changed the subject.

The next day, something somewhat strange happened. Though Josh did not see Bekah anywhere all day, he found yet another note in his locker. “This girl really likes notes” he said to himself as he grabbed it. As he made his way to study hall, he read the note.

“Josh,

I hope you don’t think I’m weird, cuz I haven’t known you very long, but I like you. I’m kinda scared to write this, and ill be very scared when I get to your locker. I was kind of hoping, that maybe, u would be my boyfriend. If u want to get to know me better, that would be ok tho, but, its weird, cuz I usually don’t like guys that I just meet and hardly know. Please write me back...or talk to me in school sumtime ok, im gonna go now.”

He could tell she was nervous. She didn’t even sign it. He had no clue what to do. He didn’t really want to go out with her. He was worried what other’s would think. He figured he could talk to Bobbi about this.

“Bobbi, I have a kinda serious question for you...” he asked.

“What is it? Is everything ok?” she asked concernedly.

“Yeah, yeah, everything is fine...but, I found this in my locker, and I don’t know what to do...” he hands Bobbi the note.

“Oh my. This is...new. Uh, why are you showing me this?”

“Because, I don’t know what to do, or what to say, or anything. I mean, I don’t like her, I really don’t. She’s cute, yeah, but...like her? No.”

“Well, maybe you should give her a chance. Go out on just one date with her, and see how things go. Maybe you’ll end up liking her.”

“Yeah, maybe you’re right. I’ll give it a shot. Thanks. Talk to ya later.”

“See ya.” and as she said that, Josh walked off, to find Bekah. He finally found what class she was in. He had his hall pass signed so he could wander the halls to look for her. He felt kind of like a stalker. He went back to class, and as soon as the bell rang, he ran to catch her.

“BEKAH!” he yelled as he finally caught up to her. “I got your note...and um, well, I just don’t like u like that.”

“I knew it...I shouldn’t have even asked. I’m so stupid. Just forget it. You don’t even have to talk to me if you don’t want to.”

“No, of course not. I was actually thinking that maybe going out or doing something sometime would be fun.”

Her face seemed to have mixed emotions. She was happy that he’d go out on a date with her, but sad that he wouldn’t be her boyfriend.

“Ok, I’d like that, too I guess. How bout Saturday?”

“Sounds ok to me.”

“Ok, Saturday it is then, see you later.” with that, she walked off, still looking nervous from the conversation.

Saturday rolled around. They had spoken on the phone previously, and decided that just hanging out at her house would be best. Josh was dropped off, and walked to the door. Bekah answered in a sort of hurry, and was dressed up a bit too much to just be hanging out with a friend at her house. Also, Josh didn’t think she would get away with wearing that at school. She invited him in and welcomed him to sit.

As Bekah sat down on the couch, with pillows o so conveniently piled up sloppily on the other end, leaving only the middle cushion open for sitting. Josh seated himself next to her, but left a little space. All they did for the first hour was watch part of a movie and talk. While talking he noticed her hand placed uncomfortably in the gap between them. He knew she wanted him to hold her hand, but he wouldn’t feel right knowing he didn’t really like her. As they spoke, they learned a lot about each other. Favorite things, interests, the usual stuff, but then, they started getting deeper. Things such as what they look for in a member of the opposite sex, what their big plans for life were, and even a few secrets were topics for discussion.

At about the same time the second movie was ending, Bekah’s mom yelled from the kitchen, “Josh’s dad is here!”

Josh got up to leave, but before he did, he said “Good-bye, and thanks. I had fun.” as he squeezed her hand, now sweaty for being held for a few hours.

“Me too.” she said with a smile. “See you tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow? Uhm, tomorrow’s Sunday.”

“Oh, right. Haha. Silly me...Monday. Well, wait. Don’t you go to church?” she said, and sounded surprisingly concerned.

“Not really” he said in a somewhat cautious tone.

“Aww, you should come with me tomorrow. It’ll be fun.”

“Uh, ok. Sure.” he didn’t sound very confident in his decision.

“Great. See you tomorrow.”

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.