Capture The Flag

[Bracket]

Good thing for me, I can run a cutter underwater,(C'mon, I'm the Bat).

Well, Amber, we meet again, thanks for the scorpianby the way, I've named him Alfred.

You may be wondering why I'm not pulling some trick, well, the truth is you've won. I can't defeat you. You've out thought, out flown, just out done me. I quit.

I'll leave now, enjoy the victory.

You think to yourself as I leave, wait it can't be that easy. And you're right, it's not.

You see, while I was seeming to mope and surrender, Alfred was stealing the flag out from under your nose. While you listened to me talk he left and swam like hell for our waiting speed boat. oh, don't worry about the G6, it's missing the wiring harness.

But what you don't expect is the Monkey (me) hiding in the boat. I jump up, punch you in the jaw, sending you and the insect overboard, and i steal the speed boat and ride off into the sunset.

[the1truebat]

Ah, Bracket, my old nemesis. I figured you'd pull something like that. I know where you're headed. The same place you always go, aftera soon to be short lived victory, the Bunny Ranch. As you get your starter massage, I pick up the flag and walk out. Tipping a rather large boned young lady named Bertha an extra 200 bucks, just to take special care of you. Compliments of Alfred. See you when you get out of traction.

Edited February 10, 2011 by the1truebat

[Donnie Darko]

As your leaving the Bunny Ranch(**shivers**) you see a homeless man with a brown coat and a hat begging for change. You can't ignore him, afterall you are Batman. You pull some change out of your pocket, as you look up to give it to him, you are met with salt rock shot to the chest ala KillBill2. Your paralyzed in pain.

Why Batman! It's The Joker!

I drop in a Helicopter and grab the flag, "Here's your money Joker..good Job!"

I fly off into the sky with the flag in hand.

[Mistydawn]

As your leaving the Bunny Ranch(**shivers**) you see a homeless man with a brown coat and a hat begging for change. You can't ignore him, afterall you are Batman. You pull some change out of your pocket, as you look up to give it to him, you are met with salt rock shot to the chest ala KillBill2. Your paralyzed in pain.

Why Batman! It's The Joker!

I drop in a Helicopter and grab the flag, "Here's your money Joker..good Job!"

I fly off into the sky with the flag in hand.

An ace ex-marine, usual job "hired-assassin" who happens to be besotted with me, hiding in the bushes near your landing site, storms the Helicopter, biffs you on the nose, sprays sleeping gas on the other crew (he's wearing a modified gas-mask) takes the flag, gives you a kiss on the cheek and rushes to my side delivering the Flag. Mine.

[Bracket]

An ace ex-marine, usual job "hired-assassin" who happens to be besotted with me, hiding in the bushes near your landing site, storms the Helicopter, biffs you on the nose, sprays sleeping gas on the other crew (he's wearing a modified gas-mask) takes the flag, gives you a kiss on the cheek and rushes to my side delivering the Flag. Mine.

But, what nobody saw coming was the monkey sneaking out of the bushes, calously shooting the marine in the back of the head but leaving you alive. In pure shock, you hand the flag to me and i slip on my rocket shoes and fly to the white house, one of the most heavily guarded locations in the world.

[Ghostfinder]

As you are approaching the White House you start to feel a tug, tug, slower, tug, slower...slower....I lassoed a bungee cord around your feet. In your terror to get it off, you drop the flag...just in time for the show. Boing! Monkey flies backwards into the tree the other end is tied to.

Flag sails to my hand. I jump on my moped and speed away. Bye bye monkey!

[glyndowers heir]

As you are approaching the White House you start to feel a tug, tug, slower, tug, slower...slower....I lassoed a bungee cord around your feet. In your terror to get it off, you drop the flag...just in time for the show. Boing! Monkey flies backwards into the tree the other end is tied to.

Flag sails to my hand. I jump on my moped and speed away. Bye bye monkey!

This time it was easy!

As you sped away the flag became entangled in the mopeds drive chain,

the good old principle of inertia ensures you sail over the handlebars, knocking yourself unconcious as you hit the ground.

I then stake you out over an ants nest having first poured a gallon of honey into your Boxers!

I then recover the flag, Don my cloak of invisibility and settle down close by to watch the show

after a few hours I get bored of the screams and using my sled team of genetically engineered flying huskies, flee to the Fortress of solitude i recently rented from Superman.

I relax - I have the flag!

[Ghostfinder]

This time it was easy!

As you sped away the flag became entangled in the mopeds drive chain,

the good old principle of inertia ensures you sail over the handlebars, knocking yourself unconcious as you hit the ground.

I then stake you out over an ants nest having first poured a gallon of honey into your Boxers!

I then recover the flag, Don my cloak of invisibility and settle down close by to watch the show

after a few hours I get bored of the screams and using my sled team of genetically engineered flying huskies, flee to the Fortress of solitude i recently rented from Superman.

I relax - I have the flag!

Using clairvoyance...I call an ant eater to me. I scream and watch you leave. The ant eater gets all the ants, then licks away the honey...licking and licking and licking...all the honey away from my groin area. Wow...that was like 3 fantasies in one...but back to the events. I break free from the restraints. I drive my moped to the Fortress.

Using the Wonder Twins as an inspiration, I form of...an Ice Crystal. I slowly make my way inside the Fortress where I see you. In front of the TV, eating Cheetos and Watching Full House. You're laughin hysterically. Those crazy girls. Then I look on in horror as you get teary eyed as Jesse does a guitar solo. Wow.

Anyway...I grab the flag. You see me, but between you getting up and watching the rest of the episode where DJ gets her first kiss...you choose the latter. I show you more mercy than you showed me, and I leave you be.

I jump on my ice moped and speed away. Sucker!

[Bracket]

Using clairvoyance...I call an ant eater to me. I scream and watch you leave. The ant eater gets all the ants, then licks away the honey...licking and licking and licking...all the honey away from my groin area. Wow...that was like 3 fantasies in one...but back to the events. I break free from the restraints. I drive my moped to the Fortress.

Using the Wonder Twins as an inspiration, I form of...an Ice Crystal. I slowly make my way inside the Fortress where I see you. In front of the TV, eating Cheetos and Watching Full House. You're laughin hysterically. Those crazy girls. Then I look on in horror as you get teary eyed as Jesse does a guitar solo. Wow.

Anyway...I grab the flag. You see me, but between you getting up and watching the rest of the episode where DJ gets her first kiss...you choose the latter. I show you more mercy than you showed me, and I leave you be.

I jump on my ice moped and speed away. Sucker!

Forgetting that i'm a monkey, you don't look up into the trees and never see me come crashing down on top of you. I grab the flag, kick you off the moped and speed away.

[the1truebat]

As you "speed" away, on the moped, you don't see the baseball bat that catches you dead center in the chest.

As you fly backwards, the flag flies forward, (yeah, I am that good), right into my hand.

Tossing a belt of thermite grenades, (with the pins already pulled) at you, I hop on my Dodge Tomahawk and ride like hell out of D.C.

[Bracket]

As you "speed" away, on the moped, you don't see the baseball bat that catches you dead center in the chest.

As you fly backwards, the flag flies forward, (yeah, I am that good), right into my hand.

Tossing a belt of thermite grenades, (with the pins already pulled) at you, I hop on my Dodge Tomahawk and ride like hell out of D.C.

Thinking quickly, i toss the belt around your neck and dive away from the explosion. I don't really care what happened to you, but i grab the flag off the ground and jump into the stomach cavity of a zombie elephant and ride off to warmer climates.

[Ghostfinder]

Ahhh ha! I read on UM that zombies don't exist, there's no pictures of them, so the carcass actually just lays there.

I throw the monkey a banana with an instant laxative in it. When he's runnin for the trees, I grab the flag and zip into the air on my air moped.

[Bracket]

Ahhh ha! I read on UM that zombies don't exist, there's no pictures of them, so the carcass actually just lays there.

I throw the monkey a banana with an instant laxative in it. When he's runnin for the trees, I grab the flag and zip into the air on my air moped.

It is then you realize that the flag is a fake. You look back at the elephant carcass and realize it was all a hoax for i am already long gone in my real zombie elephant.

[the1truebat]

"It's still a moped", I shout firing the grappling line at you. It accidently catches your gas tank and a firey explosion ensues.

"Oops, sorry about that", I say taking my flag. Back on the Tomahawk, (they're explosion proof), I ride like hell once again, out of D.C.

[Bracket]

"It's still a moped", I shout firing the grappling line at you. It accidently catches your gas tank and a firey explosion ensues.

"Oops, sorry about that", I say taking my flag. Back on the Tomahawk, (they're explosion proof), I ride like hell once again, out of D.C.

I laugh as i see everyone still fighting over the fake flag.

[the1truebat]

"Damn Bracket, damn fake flag, damn zombie elephants".

Riding up next to Bracket, I fire the L.A.W into the zombie elephant. As it explodes, I step on the monkey and blast him into next week with the assault shotgun. Making sure he's not moving, I take my flag run over him a few times and head for daylight.

[Bracket]

"Damn Bracket, damn fake flag, damn zombie elephants".

Riding up next to Bracket, I fire the L.A.W into the zombie elephant. As it explodes, I step on the monkey and blast him into next week with the assault shotgun. Making sure he's not moving, I take my flag run over him a few times and head for daylight.

Not noticing that i'm wearing a bullet-proof vest, bat doesn't see me run up behind him and clunk him over the head with the elephants broken tusk. I grab the flag and disappear into the woods.

[the1truebat]

Knowing that even though a monkey, the woods aren't brackets natural habitat. I begin to track him. For days we play a massive game of cat and mouse. For every move I make, he has a counter.

Finally face to face, with nowhere to run, I confronted him. "Give me the flag, Bracket"

He glares, those simian eyes bore into my soul, "No, Bat. It's mine. You've lost"

Ennio Morricone music plays in the background, "Don't make me do this bracket" I plead, not wanting to use my secret weapon.

He sneers, mistaking my compassion for weakness, "Do your worst, rodent"

Sighing, my heart heavy, I reach into my belt and grab...my phone.

Dialing quickly it's almost instantly answered. I hand Bracket the phone, "It's for you"

He takes the phone and pales, as he listens he begins to shake. With a look of shock on his face, he hands me both the phone and the flag, "You monster" his voice is quiet.

"I told you not to make me do it" I reply, mounting my bike.

He looks up stricken, "Yeah, but did you really have to call my mom?"

Without a word, I ride into the night, leaving the monkey to his thoughts.

[Bracket]

Knowing that even though a monkey, the woods aren't brackets natural habitat. I begin to track him. For days we play a massive game of cat and mouse. For every move I make, he has a counter.

Finally face to face, with nowhere to run, I confronted him. "Give me the flag, Bracket"

He glares, those simian eyes bore into my soul, "No, Bat. It's mine. You've lost"

Ennio Morricone music plays in the background, "Don't make me do this bracket" I plead, not wanting to use my secret weapon.

He sneers, mistaking my compassion for weakness, "Do your worst, rodent"

Sighing, my heart heavy, I reach into my belt and grab...my phone.

Dialing quickly it's almost instantly answered. I hand Bracket the phone, "It's for you"

He takes the phone and pales, as he listens he begins to shake. With a look of shock on his face, he hands me both the phone and the flag, "You monster" his voice is quiet.

"I told you not to make me do it" I reply, mounting my bike.

He looks up stricken, "Yeah, but did you really have to call my mom?"

Without a word, I ride into the night, leaving the monkey to his thoughts.

But, what the bat doesn't know is that my reaction was acting, informed to do so by my mother. The flag the the bat was so confident in having is in actuality a stick of dynamite with with a counterfeit flag attached to it. I laugh and go on my way after seeing the explosion.

Thanks mom.

Edited February 11, 2011 by Bracket

[the1truebat]

You call that acting? Man, you really should have checked for a body.

Body armor or not, the M79 round to the back of your head drops you to the ground.

Driving a six foot long metal pole through your chest to pin you down, I take my flag, fire up the weather weapon and watch the lighting cook you from the inside out. I hop on the bike, and head for my new base, leaving your charred, smoking corpse smoldering in the night.

[Bracket]

You call that acting? Man, you really should have checked for a body.

Body armor or not, the M79 round to the back of your head drops you to the ground.

Driving a six foot long metal pole through your chest to pin you down, I take my flag, fire up the weather weapon and watch the lighting cook you from the inside out. I hop on the bike, and head for my new base, leaving your charred, smoking corpse smoldering in the night.

Once again thankfull for my fiends from Nubulus 6 (you never heard that) i inject myself with a serum they gave me as a reward for saving their ruler (that's a whole other story). The serum heals my body just before i die. Pulling the metal pole out of my chest and jumping into the trees, i pull out my 9MM, take aim, and shoot the back tire of the bike. Sending you flying. I casually walk up, grab the flag, and swing away into the trees.

Edited February 11, 2011 by Bracket

[Ghostfinder]

Swing away? Or into my monkey trap? Into my monkey trap that is. A cage I hung into the trees to catch monkeys with flags. I take the flag. Throw you a banana. I hop onto my moped...and race through the jungle.

[the1truebat]

Good thing for me, the Tomahawk has three more tires. Not so good for you, however, I watch you swing into the trees, and call in an airstrike. That's right, monkey, Napalm Death. Now, before you say it, yes I know you're hiding. I know you're hoping against hope that I won't find you. I know where you are. Surrounded by my men amidst the bodies of your dead ninjas and even deader zombies. I reclaim my flag. I take the time to remove your hands and feet. I then place a small thermal detonator in your mouth and tape it shut wrapping it 47 times around your head. As you stare wide eyed at me I say my final words to you, "My kung-fu is best".

After the explosion, I smile and board my waiting luxery jet, knowing that I only have a short lived victory. For we all know those aliens won't leave you dead for long. I await your next assault.

[the1truebat]

Ghostfinder, you've interrupted my plan for the last time. Dislocating several bones in your body as I use my lucky baseball bat to take you off that moped, you are suprised to learn that a special fate awaits you. I know of a small island off the coast of greece that is home to a special breed of women. no, not Amazons, worse, Nymphos. Each one a good 350 pounds, but still attractive and hungry for a man. I leave you to their tender mercies as I take my flag and leave. You crazy kids have fun.

[Ghostfinder]

I know of a small island off the coast of greece that is home to a special breed of women. no, not Amazons, worse, Nymphos. Each one a good 350 pounds, but still attractive and hungry for a man. I leave you to their tender mercies as I take my flag and leave. You crazy kids have fun.

Thank you friend! I will have fun here. You can keep the flag...for now. I owe ya!