Capture The Flag

[maca02]

@ Aim & truebat,i reveal my alta - ego, i am the original bad luitenant ! you both go in the slammer, flag is yet again mine

[Donnie Darko]

I sit back in my flying saucer, observing the chaos - ahaha, these fools fighting over a fake Flag! I'm headed to the Moon with The Real Flag!

[the1truebat]

Maxie Zeus. Your scraping the very bottom of the barrell. Don't worry, he's been grounded. You see, Ozzy, electricity only shocks you when you complete the circuit. Like when I grabbed Maxie with his powers on. He never really was that bright. My suit is insulated, Maxie's wasn't.

What your hearing is a recording, by the way. I've already gone, with my flag. You're fairly intact, don't worry, the effects of the drug will wear off quickly enough. However, you are floating out in deep space with only a helmet on. Have fun upon your reentry.

[+Link of Hyrule]

A three-headed monkey steals the flag, who then has a run-in with the greatest computer game protagonist to ever sail pirate waters, Guybrush Threepwood.

Guybrush: "Look at" three headed monkey (it's a three-headed monkey)

"Push" three-headed monkey (I can't move it)

"Pull" three-headed monkey (I can't move it)

"Pick up" three-headed monkey (he won't fit in my pocket)

*Inventory* "Use" banana (I don't want to eat that)

*Inventory* "Give" banana to monkey.

Monkey drops flag.

"Pick up" flag.

Guybrush has the flag!

Since Paranoid Android is playing Guybrush, PA now has the flag

[my_psychosis]

I sneak up behind you, yell boo!! You jump and drop the flag. I take it and run off.

And I stick my foot out and trip you. You fall and I grab the flag and run.

(Did I mention that Ozzy Osbourne and Alice Cooper were waiting to help me with my get away in a hunter green Ferrari?)

[Bracket]

And I stick my foot out and trip you. You fall and I grab the flag and run.

(Did I mention that Ozzy Osbourne and Alice Cooper were waiting to help me with my get away in a hunter green Ferrari?)

Since i didn't have the flag, i have no problem with that.

[the1truebat]

A three-headed monkey steals the flag, who then has a run-in with the greatest computer game protagonist to ever sail pirate waters, Guybrush Threepwood.

Guybrush: "Look at" three headed monkey (it's a three-headed monkey)

"Push" three-headed monkey (I can't move it)

"Pull" three-headed monkey (I can't move it)

"Pick up" three-headed monkey (he won't fit in my pocket)

*Inventory* "Use" banana (I don't want to eat that)

*Inventory* "Give" banana to monkey.

Monkey drops flag.

"Pick up" flag.

Guybrush has the flag!

Since Paranoid Android is playing Guybrush, PA now has the flag

Hitting the reset button on your rpg, causing some chaos I imagine, I take my flag. Where's Ozzy!? I want to play.

Edited February 20, 2011 by the1truebat

[Donnie Darko]

The ground begins to rumble...quake... mother earth is cracking open, The1TrueBat is swallowed into the earth...and lands in a grassy, area. Trees, Vines, humidity...."Where the hell am I?" He wonders as he tries to regain his composure. More importantly, "Where the HELL did The Flag go?!" ....he begins to search frantically...but then...a sweet smell, sweet fragrance! It smells amazing, what is it?

"Batman, oh Batman! I've got your flag, you want it so bad, come and get it."

A huge Venus type plant opens up to reveal a beautiful, red-headed woman. She's wearing a dark green and skin tight body suit. The1trueBat is charmed, in a trance like state, zombie almost, he drags himself over, begging her for a kiss. They begin to kiss...but before The1trueBat is able to enjoy himself, he is paralyzed ...his face has gone numb...he begins turning purple as the seductive woman flees with the Flag in tow. She awaits as a metallic helicopter descends and into view. The woman climbs a rope ladder and hands the Flag over to .......OZZY VALENTINE! "Close it up baby..." The red head nods in agreement and somehow commands the earth to close on The1TrueBat...screams of agony are heard...."No way, could he have survived that!" Ozzy proclaims, "It's all over!" Ozzy escapes, "Ahaha! I have the girl, and I have The Flag!! And that pesky rat with wings is all done for!!"

[the1truebat]

I have to admit, you almost had me. Just one small thing. There was a time when I'd had to cook up contingency plans in case my allies went rogue. Lately, i've been working on one for the Flash. Oh, super fast adhesive works pretty well, but how to disrupt his pesky habit vibrating through things. Well, I can't test it on him, that would defeat the purpose. So I did the next best thing, I built me a device to mimic that particular power by tapping into harmonic resonances and such. Good thing for me, I was working on it when you arrived. It's in my belt. Activating it, I make my way back to the surface.

Your taste in partners is improving, I'll say that.

When I find her, I dose her with a nasty little pesticide I worked up. Not harmful to humans, deadly to plants. She talks fast. Tells me where to find you. After she goes unconcious, I give her the antidote.

You hear a ping and feel small steel cords cutting into your flesh, holding you against the wall. Like it, I copied the technology of a species of hunter I tangled with a few years back. I wouldn't move too much, Oz. The more you wiggle, the more it cuts.

I'll take my flag now. Can't wait to see what you're going to try next.

[Donnie Darko]

I have to admit, you almost had me. Just one small thing. There was a time when I'd had to cook up contingency plans in case my allies went rogue. Lately, i've been working on one for the Flash. Oh, super fast adhesive works pretty well, but how to disrupt his pesky habit vibrating through things. Well, I can't test it on him, that would defeat the purpose. So I did the next best thing, I built me a device to mimic that particular power by tapping into harmonic resonances and such. Good thing for me, I was working on it when you arrived. It's in my belt. Activating it, I make my way back to the surface.

Your taste in partners is improving, I'll say that.

When I find her, I dose her with a nasty little pesticide I worked up. Not harmful to humans, deadly to plants. She talks fast. Tells me where to find you. After she goes unconcious, I give her the antidote.

You hear a ping and feel small steel cords cutting into your flesh, holding you against the wall. Like it, I copied the technology of a species of hunter I tangled with a few years back. I wouldn't move too much, Oz. The more you wiggle, the more it cuts.

I'll take my flag now. Can't wait to see what you're going to try next.

We zoom into a desert scene where a guy wearing a helmet is driving an old, noisy, school bus - but it runs. He crashes into a huge boulder sitting next to a trailer. The burly man removes his helmet and exits the wrecked bus and rushes to the trailer door. He begins to knock like a mad man. He is a mad man.

"The door is ******** open!! Come in!" The man steps into the trailer, shutting the door behind him. The **** do you want?" The ornery woman who appears blindfolded(?) asks him.

"We've got big problems, some guy almost pulverized Ozzy, almost succeeded, was able to get to him in time...."

"Where is he?" She asks him. "Getting a tan? Getting a Starbucks?"

"He's in a secret hideout, recovering. We need your help, there's big money in it for you...something to help get you back on your feet, so are you in or not?"

"Who's the target?"

"The1TrueBat, also known as Batman...."

The woman laughs hysterically, "You've got to be joking! He couldn't handle that nuiscance by himself? Tell me I'm the first person Ozzy tried to recruit for the job? Otherwise, he's a fool too. And after I kill the rodent, I may just kill him too."

"Hey hey...take it easy, besides, your not exactly at the top of your game anymore...look at you, you've got no eyeballs! Ahahahahaha!!"

The woman speedily rises from her couch, grabs a sword hidden underneath it and holds it against the man's neck. "Don't think for a second, that because some b**** caught me off guard, you will too...my senses have sharpened, as you'd expect..so if he tries to **** me over, he's as good as dead. As dead as the bat will be when I find him."

To be continued...

Edited February 20, 2011 by Ozzy Valentine

[Tiffanyy]

..so the woman goes into the forest with her sword where it was said that the1truebat was last seen. the mad man secretly behind her until one wrong step on a branch nd the woman hears. since she cant see she slices the man's throat. not knowing who she took down the woman takes a walk through the forest full of pride wen all of a sudden the1truebat ends up in front of her but she gets the scent of a bat instead of a person so she ignores it. Then 1truebat takes out his laser nd slices the woman in half. Hes on his way to his hideout wen a girl in black appears out of the blue She rapidly pulls a shotgun off her back nd blows his head off, takes the flag nd goes on her way..

Incase it wasnt obvious the1truebat...now i have the flag

Edited February 21, 2011 by Fabulosity_Blue

[Donnie Darko]

You killed off my characters and you ruined my awesome story! I was gonna create an army....arggghhhhh...

*I assault you with a PaintGun! And guess what? It's blue paint you Gimmick Person! I shoot you in the eyes..."you wanted blue ey?" Fabulosity Blue is on the ground getting eaten by the wildlife in the forest. I grab the Flag as I watch you cry in agony..."Suffer you story ruiner! You gimmick queen! What are you gonna do next? Meow-Purr like that weirdo in the UM forums?! Ahahahah, I get the last laugh! I've got the Flag again!"

I leave the scene, but not before shooting Fabulosity Blue square in the forehead knocking her unconcious.

[the1truebat]

Armor, Darling, armor. Allow me to explain. You see, the unique fiber weave makes it virtually impossible to actually remove my head. But, "OUCH!" all the same.

The girl in black just made the same mistake some of the others around here did. Make sure I'm dead.

Of course, she realizes this after she's been dropped off the edge of a cliff, but that's just details.

I'll take my flag now. Come and get it, Oz.

[Helen of Annoy]

Keep looking for Ozzy, while I run you over with steamroller, take the flag and your 2d version. I’ll sell you on e-bay (life-sized cardboard Batman, smells of rubber like the real one).

Also... I have the flag now.

[the1truebat]

Good thing I had Plastic man posing for me. As you sell him on e-bay, I sneak up behind you,throw a bag over your head, and leave you tied up at a comic convention wearing Princess Leia's slave costume in a room filled with nerd virgins.

My flag again.

[Helen of Annoy]

Aw, you amateur. You just presented me with my personal nerd virgin army. They'd die for me... but that's not what I asked, I asked only they crawl over you like ants, rip you to pieces (which they also sold on said e-bay. It’s your karma, what can we do...) and bring me the neatly folded flag, which I’m flying proudly now.

The flag is mine.

[the1truebat]

First off, nerds can't tear anything to peices. That's why they're nerds. Secondly, distracting them was easy. Holding an issue of detective comics #27 hostage will make them even easier to control. Now that sneaky one who stole the flag, while I was dealing with his friends, he's trouble. Must be a Lois Lane fan.

That's alright, a smack to the back of his head makes him cry for his mamma.

Now you, on the other hand, are a problem. Without your armies, you don't stand a chance. It's a simple matter of throwing you over my shoulder, tossing you into a plane, and dropping you into the nearest volcano. You're out of my hair, the gods are satisfied, and most importantly, the flag is mine.

[Helen of Annoy]

Gods are not satisfied.

Because Im their wrath incorporated and youre just a bat on steroids. I kick you in your haemorrhoids. I gained nice additional thrust when volcano spat me out (hi, dad, hows hell today, bye, dad, hate you too) and the flag is mine.

Edited February 21, 2011 by Helen of Annoy

[the1truebat]

Use the plane to shoot you down, land plane on your smoking corpse, and take my flag.

[Helen of Annoy]

It was Santa Claus you shot down, since you’re short-sighted like any other bat... now the Sea Shepherd and Greenpeace are both after you because they mistook the roasted Santa for a whale corpse and I helped that a little by sticking the Japanese flag on your... ahem... broad back.

You’ve been harpooned and the flag is naturally mine.

[the1truebat]

Can you swim? The question haunts you as your dunked under for the upteenth time.

In order to deal with you properly, I had to find a nice little backwoods country that still hunts witches. Abducted in the night you found yourself tossed in a cold cell and questioned by the remnants of the Spanish inquisition. Archaic, I know, but you deserve the very best.

Of course, you denied everything, so they went to using the witch tests. have fun with the rocks, don't worry though, I'll be back in time for the fire. I'm bringing marshmellows. My flag again.

[Helen of Annoy]

So I yelled: “Daaaad!” and the ground split open and your inquisitors fell into the pits of hell, where they belong anyway.

But by all means do bring your marshmellows, and slip into something more comfortable and made of asbestos. You’ll burn anyway and I’ll have the flag.

*waving the flag above the hell hole so the last thing you see with your melting eyes is me, holding it*

[Donnie Darko]

Ohhhhh! I love Helen's posts! I'm enjoying this!

Hands Helen Most Entertaining Poster of The Year Award for 2010 and 2011.

[the1truebat]

A few years back there was a massive issue with an arch angel. Without going into too many details, let's just say a higher power than your daddy owes me a favor or two.

I particularly liked the look on your face when I appeared in front of you, priceless.

Are you familir with the story of Prometheus, chained to an rock with a rather large bird eating his liver for eternity? Heaven, compared to what I'm going to do to you.

Allow me to explain. The chain that now encircles your waist is made from uru metal, forged in Asgard. Unbreakable even to the gods themselves. Now I realize that I'm going into crossover territory, but you deserve the very best.

I'm fully aware of your nature so this lava flow, it's been concecrated. However, that's not the fun part. The fun part is this, you will be lowered into the center of the lava pit and allowed to walk across towards the shore. Burning and regenerating the whole way, just before you reach the other side, you'll be dragged back to the center. Should you try to go the other way, the same thing will happen.

"Enjoy eternity", My words echo as the cold iron lid is placed over the pit.

Flag is mine.

[Bracket]

I run up behind the bat, take the flag (and Detective Comics #27), and push him into the pit. Now i have the flag and am heading off to my desert fortress to read my new comic.