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Capture The Flag


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Lol, sounds like fun. ;)

Actually it is getting a bit uncomfortable now... :blush:

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Kung Fu membership 1500 dollars.

Punch to the groin technique 2000 dollars.

Grab the nose to force mouth open 30 bucks a month cable.

Fast acting bat laxatives 15 dollars apiece.

One freshly laundered flag =Priceless.

Flag is mine.

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Read the tag.

Read it!

So?

“Made in PRC

130% cotton

cold wash separately

low ilon

do not breach

or give to your wife”

Now read this certificate.

Read it, coward!

We’ve been married. In Hawaii of all places. Not Vegas.

If I catch you hog all the flag for yourself again I’ll rip the crucial part of your anatomy off. Look at the brighter side, if that happens then even the Vatican would grant you a divorce.

Bat went to the kitchen to make his own sandwich while I snuggle in my flag. You could put more softener next time, honey, not that I'm ungrateful but if you're going to do a job do it right.

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Helen thought she was real funny, right up until I yanked the flag off of her spinning her in a circle, then landing on her butt.

And I still don't remember no wedding in hawaii.

Flag is mine.

Edited by the1truebat
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When I landed on my butt nothing happened because I’m that light and graceful, but when I started to yell curses small seismic disturbance set all hanging objects in motion, including the distasteful chandelier bat’s aunt gave us as wedding gift.

The cord gave up under moving weight of that interior decoration abomination and – there’s god after all and he’s on my side – landed right on bat, squashing him like a bug.

I’ll take the flag out of your twitching hand, thank you. You don’t have to remember to turn the lights off before you leave.

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Helen is disorientated in the dark but I am not because I am wearing my night vision goggles. I grab MY flag and disappear into the night.

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God my sweet muscular hynie, That was Helens Uncle Carl tromping down the stairs that caused that abomination of a chandelier to fall.

Anyhow, Ouija, you think you're sneaking off into the night, right before I turn on the flashlight, thus blinding you. I take my flag, and slip Hansel & Gretle 20 bucks apiece to toss you in the oven. Maybe next time you'll call before you come over.

Flag is mine.

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Turning on your flashlight was great mistake, since I anticipated that and released a jar full of genetically modified firefly/fireant crossbreeds.

The flag is mine, yours is this bottle of aloe gel, apply it generously. I’m vicious but not heartless.

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Fast acting bat laxatives 15 dollars apiece.

I am not currently pursuing the flag due to the joy that reading the term 'Bat Laxatives' gave me (and the detox they gave me too)...

Once my joy has subsided I will be back for the flag. ;)

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You know, after years of battling supervillians, Helen, Pulsar and that other feller who's name escapes me at the moment (Valentine something or other), I have learned one thing. Shooting Helen of Annoy into the sun on a rocket NEVER gets old.

Here's your aloe back, Dear.

Flag is mine.

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Well that was just too easy :lol: ! While the Bat was watching his home-videos of Helen rocketing towards the sun, knocking back a few beers(Bat and Helen), and reminiscing with his buddies about their battles with Supervillians, knocking back quite a few more beers, I just strolled in and helped myself to my flag ........ no disguise, no hiding behind furniture, just walked straight in!!

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ouija, would you please hand me my flag over.

I don’t mind others wave it for a while but in case of emergency you have to find the most rabid of all psychotic fanatics to carry it. It is their birth right, to make morbid spectacle out of themselves so if the flag is lost at least there’s no one un-crippled to tell that story.

Thank you.

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Alrighty, trip down memory lane cancelled, back to work.

Helen, oh light of my dreary universe, here is a question, is the hatopus like a big sticky rubberband. Let's find out.

First, I grab said hetopus, I then pull said hatopus in a backwards motion, thirdly, I release said hatopus while yelling, "Fly, be free"

EEEEWWWW, I hope that's ink he's squirting on you.

I'll take my flag while you clean yourself up.

Flag is mine.

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How dare you hurt Lyle !

I unleash my very premenstrual kracken on your hatopus assaulting ass ,and she is having a field day leaving pieces of you ...here,there...there...

Lyle ,aka the hatopus,is a sensitive gentle creature ,and a close friend of Phyllis ,the b****y kracken .

Hatopus bully !!!..... who is now in numerous pieces .

Flag is mine !

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To quote Bugs Bunny, "He don't know me very well, do he?"

You see, there is one thing both menstrual and premenstrual things cannot resist for it is both soothing and tasty. I speak of chocolate.

However, this chocolate is special, it bears enough tranquilizers to drop 37 bull elephants, nighty night Phyllis.

Think on that as I insert my size ten steel toe through your sumo diaper.

Flag is mine.

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Phyllis hates chocolate .

Just sayin ...

I happen to keep children of the corn locked in my basement .All of them from parts I,II ,III ,IV and V.

Packed um all up in the truck ,set them loose in bats town . No one left.

*cackles*

Flag is mine !

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Nuke 'em from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.

They're fried, You're fried, Phyllis is calamari rings.

Just me, Kieth Richards, and the cockroaches.

Flag is mine.

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Keith hates calamari ,just sayin ....

I also happen to keep Steven Seagal on retainer .

First ,he will act ,at you .....if that doesn't make you die of horror and sheer boredom ,he will then recite the Kama Sutra in a seductive voice ,if that doesn't make you kill yourself....he will then lie on top of you ,and try to smother you ,while munching on Phyllis rings .

If that doesn't kill you ,he will aikido you into the floor repeatedly . That should kill you . If it doesn't ,he will just shoot you full of holes .

Keith watched Steve do all of this,and laughed sardonically while the Harlem roach choir chirped out Amazing Grace.

Flag is mine !

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Oh please, all I have to do is waive a donut a Steve and he's distracted. One bat boot to the testicular region and he's sobbing on the ground.

As for you, little Miss, I think you've been hanging around Helen too long and need a time out.

First, I distract you with costume jewelry, (you don't deserve the real stuff yet) While yelling "Look, a shiny"

When you turn to look, I'll throw a bag over your head and drop you headfirst into a volcano.

I hope you can swim.

Flag is mine.

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I only wear the real stuff ,even if its just sterling . I'm offended you would even offer costume crap ,so I put a cap in yo ass myself .

Yeah,its like that . Flag is mine triffling sucka !

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Your attack revealed a weakness!

After you 'put a cap in his ass' I knew that you are actually a 'want to be' gangster who holds their gun sideways. Professionals know that this is a weakness and a form of ego posturing, with this in mind I knew that after executing the1truebat you would stand posing for a second making crude letter shapes with your fingers whilst declaring where you come from (or represent ;) ). It was during this moment of public self appreciation that I snuck up behind you and stole the flag.

Once you had finished posing with your left hand in a 'U' shape and your right hand in an 'M' shape you realised your error, but alas it was too late and all you could do is watch as Junior Chizzle disappeared over the horizon...

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"Execute the Bat", that's funny. Apparently, Junior(what an appropiate name, you might as well change it to Robin, the boy hostage) You have no idea what's about to happen to you.

It's an older trick, but it's always been effective. The exploding flagpole, works everytime.

Look, it's raining you.

Flag is mine.

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It may be raining me, but because I am a T1000 sent back from the future once all my pieces land they start to gel together and I take on the form of the Boy Wonder whilst out of your sight.

Upon seeing the Boy Wonder and hear him say 'holy raining Chubbs' you hand him the flag and ask him (me ha ha ha) to stash it in the Bat Cave, not knowing the Flag had already been in that cave a few pages ago.

I have the flag while you think it is safe and sound, it will be months before you discover the deception...

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During the creation of your latest avatar you unwittingly hypnotised yourself. Now, each time I say a particular word(duh! as if I'm going to tell you what that word is!), you automatically find my flag and return it to me. *says secret word* *puts flag in safe place*

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Junior suddenly comes too and thinks to himself "Where did I put that flag?" while checking under the cushions on his sofa....

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