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Capture The Flag


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While boys are chatting and slapping each other manfully on the back, I sneak off over the horizon with MY flag in my hand.(My flag does NOT have a pic of Obama on it!).

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Since when did capture the flag become a venue to discuss political affiliation? Can we please try to keep at least a few places on this site free of things to argue about?

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Right! No arguing! *hits you with the thread’s official frying pan* There, one more face imprinted in it. We could sell it on eBay.

Discuss that option in civilized manner, while I’m flashing my behind at you from the safe distance, with my flag in my tentacles.

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  • 1 month later...

At least it was until I popped the hatopus with a taser, now it just looks like a bad perm.

Flag is mine.

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Always collect your taser after tasering people and/or alien life forms. Because they might feel better after a while and taser your balls back inside your body.

Don't worry, they'll come back out eventually. Even before my flag wears out from all this proud and spiteful waving.

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Helen, let me hold that flag for you ......... your arms are obviously aching from all that 'proud and spiteful waving' *snatches it before Helen has time to think* *disappears around corner in handy nearby getaway car*

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That getaway car was actually a garbage truck. One of those that press anything that falls or jumps in into neat sheet of ****. Except the flag, I ripped it from your, disappearing in whirlpool of household waste, hands.

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Whilst you're bizzy.....With both your hands.....I confuse you with my dexterity and slight of hand. Bamboozling you into not holding the flag but the wing mirror of the rubbish truck as it rolls it way into the next town.

Now I have the flag.

I stand atop of the farthest snowy hill, flag held high as I dance and sing....'I'm the king of the castle and you're the dirty rascal' :devil:

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The king might not be dead yet, but we shouldn’t rule out that possibility, judging by the way he... she in this case... rolls down snowy hill, scattering entrails and squirting blood.

That bear owed me a favour, now we’re even. But I’ll give him extra apple for pushing you in the icy lake direction. The good news is, you won’t fall through the ice, it’s still firm. The bad news is, I suspect you’ll bleed to death by the time you roll all the way down to the lake.

Slightly stained, just how I like it, the flag is mine.

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While you walk away from your recent victim with a blood stained flag, I intercept you with my personal army of corrupt politicians and rabid kittens, and while you're distracted by promises of dreams coming true, my deadly little servants attack you. Due to the hatopus' fear of cute rabid kittens, you break free from the politicians' spell and run away. However, you were so reckless that you dropped the flag I was looking for, making my life that much easier since I wouldn't have to chase you any longer.

Now I have the flag.

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Having attained the flag from the kitten fearing flag bearer before you. You have neglected to notice the wind has changed and the politicians and subsequent kitten attention has turned on to their evil leader. Who had left them out in the cold whilst you waved the flag entranced. Over coming you from all directions they take you down. In the confusion, I drag my bleeding entrails and what remains of my mutilated body and take the flag once more......Only just able to whistle...."I'm the king of the....". As the blood hangs from the flag in frozen stalactites, the delicate clinking sound echoes my victory whistle.

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Well ........ that was all very poetic but life goes on. I've dialled 999 so someone will be along in a minute to sort out those bleeding entrails for you. *yanks flag out of ground* *saunters off*

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Hmph, proper Mother Theresa... only you accidentally dialled 666 instead of 999, so while you are explaining to my nephew’s minions why they shouldn’t drag you to Hell, I’ll take my flag back.

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And promptly lose it to me as you gloat and monologue.(again) Silly squidheaded lady, flags are Bats.

Flag is mine, Helen's still a dork.

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As you ramble, mumble bemoaning on and on in your rampant rage. The toxic thoughts of your ego brain spew out into the air about you. It transmutes into a poisonous darkening cloud. The more you go on, the deeper and darker this cloud becomes. Until it smothers you in your own toxic shame.

Falling, as you choke to the ground, your strength withered. As does your grip. The flag, drawn up into the swirling wind that surrounds you. Drawn up and Out from your midst. Landing at my feet, as I watch the now tornado whip your dying corps straggle up and away far beyond any visible horizon.

Leaving me with the flag. :whistle:

Edited by Blue Star
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But the flag is soaked with poison of both mine and bat's egomania. Your weak mind cracks under dark pressure not even higher life forms can bear without consequences, splits into two new personalities who promptly start to fight each other. Literally. With your own fists and feet, against your own face and ribs. Ooooh, low kick.

Flag... mine. *caresses it, in very fetishist manner* I dare you to touch it now. God knows where it has been.

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Behind the distant hill, a bugle brays it's brassy voice through the driving rain, followed by a loud "Halloo!" ripped from the throats of a hundred warriors. The very ground trembles as a full squadron of Heavy Cavalry thunders towards the feeble creature grasping the flag in its trembling hands. A young Ensign, resplendent in his shining helmet and scarlet jacket swings down from his saddle and tears the noble banner from the creature's claw-like grasp. He shouts wildly as the Honour Guard spur their steeds into close formation about him before racing into the battle-smoke once more, leaving lesser mortals quivering (flagless) in the mud where they belong!

Edited by ealdwita
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Scarlet jacket… really, scarlet? Well, Scarlett, I guess I can’t persuade you to trade that flag for carnal moments. Not with me, at least.

But the flag was so embarrassed it flew back to me on its own. Just like that. OK, I’m lying, I helped that a little by letting one of those neurotic Spanish bulls on the field of glory. He went for the scarlet jacket, naturally, and all I had to do is catch my flag before it gets too stained.

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While you focus your attention on the flag and the enemy, everyone forgets about the ex leader of the politician/kitten army, who has now managed to escape from those treacherous creatures. When I get back to the battlefield to see what had happened to my flag, I see the tentacle creature running from a group of strange individuals, possibly under the heavy influence of alcoholic beverages, who seemed to firmly believe they were a group of knights despite looking like they had just come out of a disco from the 80's. The tentacle creature runs into the woods right behind me, without actually noticing me. That's when she was hit by a perfectly aimed rock, one of my many, special skills. The flag is now mine, although now I am the one running from the Disco Knights.

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"You ought to be more worried about Bats", Are the last words you hear as my louiseville slugger catches you about mid temple.

Go sit at the kiddie table, you're not ready to play with the big kids yet.

Flag is mine.

Come and get it.

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*wraps self in cloak of invisibility* *takes flag out of Bat's slack grip* *hides flag under cloak* *pinches Bat's butt* *skips away*

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  • 3 months later...

*wraps self in cloak of invisibility* *takes flag out of Bat's slack grip* *hides flag under cloak* *pinches Bat's butt* *skips away*

it starts raining and your cloak malfunctions i kill you with my dual keyblades and ask Zues my father to send u to the depths of tarturas forever no exceptions i win!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :gun::clap::w00t::su:tsu::yes::clap:
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Whilst your prattling on, asking daddy to fix it all for you. I replace the flag in your hands with a magic flute....Stepping into the tardis, I take off never to return... The flag, full mast, waves aloft the tardis as she spins and warps through time and space.

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And while you're busy counting the coins and gold in your dragon-horde...I will stealthily creep in (like mules do) and steal the flag, placing it into my harness as I run off at top mule speed!

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Don't make me laugh! 'Top Mule Speed' is about a step per minute ....... mules are renowned for their refusal to move :lol: ! Soooo, while you are digging your hooves in and thinking about the next meal, I am galloping over the horizon with the flag in my mouth!

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