Jump to content
Join the Unexplained Mysteries community today! It's free and setting up an account only takes a moment.
- Sign In or Create Account -

Capture The Flag


Bracket

Recommended Posts

forsuth foul varlet in thy haste to retrieve yon mystical pennant thou noticed not the helm of crashingnes that i do wear, be a helm of full facedness

thy punny rubber bands glanceth of my mighty helm as feather from a well plucked goose, with my mighty mace of holy baseballishness

i smiteth thee upon thine head and yea verily again THE FLAG IS MINE :rofl:

Edited by just a bloke
Link to comment
Share on other sites

forsuth foul varlet in thy haste to retrieve yon mystical pennant thou noticed not the helm of crashingnes that i do wear, be a helm of full facedness

thy punny rubber bands glanceth of my mighty helm as feather from a well plucked goose, with my mighty mace of holy baseballishness

i smiteth thee upon thine head and yea verily again THE FLAG IS MINE :rofl:

Damnit! Why me! Thou flag has forsaken me!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Damnit! Why me! Thou flag has forsaken me!

tis true oh brave kerrrrrnight, the pennant of flaggishness be a fickle misstress :tu:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

tis true oh brave kerrrrrnight, the pennant of flaggishness be a fickle misstress :tu:

While you two are pontificating, i casually grab the flag and walk away.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I got up to get the flag back...then pondered an age old question. One passed down from generation to generation. Thought to be an old wives tale...a legend of sorts. What does pontificating mean? As these thoughts go through the old brain pot...Bracket slips away...Never to be seen from again. Or does he?! (Cue the evil laugh again) We shall meet again old righteous villain. Mark my sentences...we will meet again! Use big words on me. You just made a stupidly move my friend, stupidly indeed.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Being the super genius that I am, I wave a five in front of Bracket. As he reaches for the five, I kick him right square in the wedding tackle. He falls, drops the flag, and yet again, I run like hell. I stll wonder why Ghostfinder is still standing there looking confused.

Edited by the1truebat
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Seeing that he's still confused, I walk back to explain to Ghostfinde that a "five" is a five dollar bill. "Wedding tackle", is the man bits that girls don't have. Then I kick him in the shins for making me get extra exercise, and continue to run like hell.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The bat continues to run...coming to a hill, he jumps in the air and begins soaring through the air. He laughs at his brilliance, his athleticism...for he has the flag. He can conquer all.

It is at this point the bat remembers something very important...something he had written on the back of his hand just for times like these, however, he forgot to read it...and it is too late now. The bat isn't a bat at all. He is a rat. His wings are fairy wings from a costume. He now comes crashing to the ground, rolls down the hill and stops.

I walk up to him. Still feeling the pain in my shins. However, I pity this bat. Bat hands me the flag and begs for mercy. I bestow it to him. I leave him. I have the flag. Suck it. :w00t:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ghostfinder gets about two steps before he falls down, looking at his shoes he realizes that my begging for mercy was just a ploy so I could reach his shoelaces and tie them together. I grab the flag, yell "Adios, Sucker" and run like hell.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

While you were running, you have a mild stroke, drop the flag as you grasp your chest, and watch as I take the flag to my secret hidden lair with sharks that have frickin' lazer beams attached to their frickin' heads.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ah, did you see your mistake there, you didn't make sure I was dead. Classic villain mistake. I now know the location of your secret base. Knowing you the way I do, I also know that the lasers on the sharks heads don't work. Except the one on the left, but he's crosseyed. I enter your war room and profess my undying love for you. The shock of a man using the "L" word towards you lulls you into a false sense of security, I drug your wine, wait for you to pass out, grab the flag, and calmly walk past your henchmen. As soon as I hit the gates, I run like hell.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ahh! But you also made a classic mistake, for you did not see that I was not really passed out, for I knew the wine was spiked and only let you go so that you could feel over confident. Because of your inflated hubris, you ran right into my army of undead viking warriors. Completely surrounded, you hand the flag to the viking leader with the huge battle axe who gives it back to me. What happens next, I don't care, I have the flag, and you are now the fool surrounded by the viking undead *evil laugh*

Edited by Amberlight
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh, Amber, may I call you Amber? I was prepared for this eventuality. Unfortunately for you, these were late period Vikings. Known for hiring themselves out as mercenaries willing to work for the highest bidder. I simply offer them three times what you're paying them to get my flag back. I smile, inflating my hubris even more, as I take my flag, and your car keys. Now I get to drive like hell, with a ten minute head start.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ahem, you mean late period UNDEAD viking warriors, sir.

Okay, back to the story. . . even though my army of UNDEAD viking warriors apparently forsake me with cash *rolls eyes* it still doesn't matter. Despite your ten minute lead time and over inflated sense of self, I simply turned on the car's low jack system, which renders the car useless. Now that you are on foot, I jump into my G6 and catch you easily. As you were flaying around in the swamp trying to get away, I unleash my attack shepards on you. Crying to your mama, you hand me back the flag. I fly away with my prize and satisfaction knowing that I just saw a grown man crying for his mom.

EDIT: And yes, you can call me Amber, as long as I get to call you Bat.

Edited by Amberlight
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Three things.

1) Did you ever wonder why they call it the "ALMIGHTY" dollar?

2) I wasn't crying, I had dust in my eyes

3) You may call me Bat

The dogs were easy enough to deal with, they just needed some attention. The G6, well we know the mileage those cars get, I just had to follow the cloud of dust until I found you on the side of the road out of gas. However, not being completely heartless, I walk with you to the nearest gas station. As soon as you turn your back, though, I grab the flag and run like hell into the night.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Three things.

1) Did you ever wonder why they call it the "ALMIGHTY" dollar?

2) I wasn't crying, I had dust in my eyes

3) You may call me Bat

The dogs were easy enough to deal with, they just needed some attention. The G6, well we know the mileage those cars get, I just had to follow the cloud of dust until I found you on the side of the road out of gas. However, not being completely heartless, I walk with you to the nearest gas station. As soon as you turn your back, though, I grab the flag and run like hell into the night.

One thing:

1) What in the world would undead vikings possibly do with cash? What are they going to do, blow it all at the bar? They're dead!

But enough about our being complete hypocrites by pointing out logical fallacies on one another's posts, let's get back to the story.

Being sympathetic towards me was really great weakness! I exploited that well by slipping a tracking chip onto your cape. Because the gas station fortuitously also contained jet fuel (as a G6 is a plane, not a car) I caught up to you easilly once again. Because you love to 'run off into the night', I decided to let you run run run right into the quick sand. Now that dust is really in your eyes, and with no hope of escape without aid, you are forced to hand me back the flag. I help you out, but tie you up really good first. As you are left squirming in the desert in complete darkness, you see the twinkling lights of the plane as it flies away.

EDIT: Oh my, is that a scorpion next to you?

Edited by Amberlight
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Then Bat unties himself, gets free and gets the flag back from Angel.

Here is the rest of the story:

Bat...so tired, so weary...all this running. Come hear brother. Let me give you food and shelter...for the night. Bat is grateful for the offer from the elderly gentleman. Bat has been "Going like a Bat out of Hell" all night. He has served his King well, for he will be returning the Flag to his Kingdom. The absence of the Flag has meant suffering to his people. The crops had either dried from the drought, or the locusts have eaten the rest. The children are close to starvation. Bat needs rest and food. The elderly man gives bat some bread and fish stew. Bat takes it in. Eager to get some nourishment so he can continue his journey. The water is brown, right out of the well. Bat drinks this, but it does not quench his thirst. He is then offered some whiskey. Old whiskey. Smooth and rough. Bat allows a little of this sweet forbidden drink. It doesn't take long. Once he drinks the whiskey...he feels faint. Things move. Colors Blind.

The whiskey has been mixed with LSD, and Bat feels the effects. Then...out comes a naked 300lbs woman. She is the elderly man's daughter. Bat cannot stand up. He can get other things up, as the lady undresses bat and makes love to him on the kitchen table. Bat tries to say no...then finds his will taken away, as the woman's experience...makes up for a less than appealing look.

I step in. Indulging in neither whiskey, nor LSD (nor the lady), I am ready to go. I take the flag from Bat's hand. Bid him farewell, and leave the home. I jump on my horse and trot away.

After my departure, there is a shotgun wedding. Bat weds the damsel as her loving father looks on with a shotgun. Congratulations Bat!

Edited by Ghostfinder
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, it seems the Bat is in quite the predicament, doesn't it. Luckily, I was able to squirm out of my bonds and fashion a makeshift umbrella to keep the sun out of my eyes. Unfortunately for the old man, his eyesight sucks, and he mistook the umbrella for the flag. I was able to escape the wedding by giving my name as Ghostfinder, you're welcome buddy. I wish I could see the look on your face when you find out that flag is fake. But I gotta continue my quest after Amber.

The poor girl is so silly sometimes, she doean't realize that I already knew she would go back to her base. Where I snuck in. Once again dodging the crosseyed shark with the laser on his head, and the undead vikings who are really p***ed because they just realized that they no longer have a use for money, and stole the flag when she went to refuel the jet, (I knew it was a jet the whole time). So, with flag in hand, I run like hell for the mexican border.

Edited by the1truebat
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Then Bat unties himself, gets free and gets the flag back from Angel.

Here is the rest of the story:

Bat...so tired, so weary...all this running. Come hear brother. Let me give you food and shelter...for the night. Bat is grateful for the offer from the elderly gentleman. Bat has been "Going like a Bat out of Hell" all night. He has served his King well, for he will be returning the Flag to his Kingdom. The absence of the Flag has meant suffering to his people. The crops had either dried from the drought, or the locusts have eaten the rest. The children are close to starvation. Bat needs rest and food. The elderly man gives bat some bread and fish stew. Bat takes it in. Eager to get some nourishment so he can continue his journey. The water is brown, right out of the well. Bat drinks this, but it does not quench his thirst. He is then offered some whiskey. Old whiskey. Smooth and rough. Bat allows a little of this sweet forbidden drink. It doesn't take long. Once he drinks the whiskey...he feels faint. Things move. Colors Blind.

The whiskey has been mixed with LSD, and Bat feels the effects. Then...out comes a naked 300lbs woman. She is the elderly man's daughter. Bat cannot stand up. He can get other things up, as the lady undresses bat and makes love to him on the kitchen table. Bat tries to say no...then finds his will taken away, as the woman's experience...makes up for a less than appealing look.

I step in. Indulging in neither whiskey, nor LSD (nor the lady), I am ready to go. I take the flag from Bat's hand. Bid him farewell, and leave the home. I jump on my horse and trot away.

After my departure, there is a shotgun wedding. Bat weds the damsel as her loving father looks on with a shotgun. Congratulations Bat!

After reading this I thought, "Ewwww, I don't think I want that flag anymore. Look at where its been!"

Happy trails Bat, it's all yours.

EDIT: And my name isn't 'Angel'! Good night.

Edited by Amberlight
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's all fun and games until somebody calls out the wrong name.

'Night.

Edited by the1truebat
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Interesting, these idiots have turned this into somekind of love story. I wonder how the Batman and the mouse will deal with the obvious differences.

" Well let's solve this once and for all."

** Steps on Amberlight with steel toe Boot** :D

"Gross... well atleast it went quickly.."

1truebat falls to the ground crying at what he's just seen. His love has been murdered. As he tries putting the rat pieces together(yuck..) I pick up the flag and sneak away...

"Maybe I should send them some flowers? I'm a murderer of love now? I feel a little bad...No wait, I don't. Hmm...why am I so cold? Heh, oh well...the Flag is Mine again!"

:devil:

Edited by Ozzy Valentine
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ozzy, it wasn't love, it was trying to get the damn flag. You know the old saying, "If you can't dazzle them with dexterity, Baffle them with bulls**t".

Anyhoo, as it's late, and I've been running this marathon for awhile now, I draw my large caliber handgun, with armor peircing shells and pump a couple of clips into you.

I then step over your bloody,mangled corpse(it was a really large caliber), leap into the waiting space craft and nuke you from orbit.

It's the only way to be sure.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.