Loonboy Posted January 16, 2003 #1 Share Posted January 16, 2003 Due to increasing products liability litigation, American Beer Brewers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like you have no bones. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary. (Can sometimes be caused by marriage.) WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead/knees. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo_Jones Posted January 16, 2003 #2 Share Posted January 16, 2003 Oh my God!!! I think I can relate to nearly every single one of those. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked. Those bring back some awfull memories of one fatefull night!!!! *Note to self...Don't go out on the town after watching "Buffy" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kira Posted January 16, 2003 #3 Share Posted January 16, 2003 @ Halo Hmmm methinks the same though some scream out at me louder than others..... WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear. I definatly have to agree with Halo on this one.... WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homer Posted January 17, 2003 #4 Share Posted January 17, 2003 WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra. Hey CW, can I buy you a drink Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kira Posted January 17, 2003 #5 Share Posted January 17, 2003 (Homer@ Jan 17 2003, 02:52 AM) Hey CW, can I buy you a drink Ah it's a shame that we are on opposite sides of the pond........or is that a good thing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kismit Posted January 17, 2003 #6 Share Posted January 17, 2003 WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. I think that's me Although I once noticed that my drink of choice Jim Beam and cola only comes with ......... Warning: Contains caffein. Now what goes on there? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homer Posted January 17, 2003 #7 Share Posted January 17, 2003 Ah it's a shame that we are on opposite sides of the pond........or is that a good thing Well it would be good for me if you would accept that drink Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr-X Posted January 18, 2003 #8 Share Posted January 18, 2003 Heres a beer joke..........just thought i would share it with you all. A Case For Drinking More Beer A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, the slowest and weakest ones at the back are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular culling of the weakest members. In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kira Posted January 21, 2003 #9 Share Posted January 21, 2003 Hey Homer ok I'll accept that drink.............. BTW what's in it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Althalus Posted January 21, 2003 #10 Share Posted January 21, 2003 WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra. what the hell happens if you are male? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loonboy Posted January 21, 2003 Author #11 Share Posted January 21, 2003 Being drunk probably means you're likely to put one on during the course of the night... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homer Posted January 22, 2003 #12 Share Posted January 22, 2003 The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra. CW, Ummm...I'm not sure what will be in it, but provided I get these results, who the hell cares, you know what I mean **Gets ass kicked by all the chicks on the forum** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dowdy Posted January 22, 2003 #13 Share Posted January 22, 2003 WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra. what the hell happens if you are male? WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell you are doing with a bra in your pocket Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo_Jones Posted January 22, 2003 #14 Share Posted January 22, 2003 Homer, I think if you now meet CW on a girlie night out, your most likely end up using the "lost bra" as a pair of eye patches. That'll be for the lovely black eyes CW will give you while doing her amazing Kung fu on you!!!! BEWARE!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Althalus Posted January 22, 2003 #15 Share Posted January 22, 2003 erm... is alcohol warnings the right topic name for this thread? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homer Posted January 22, 2003 #16 Share Posted January 22, 2003 (edited) Oops, I guess I'm sort of getting off topic here Edited January 22, 2003 by Homer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kira Posted January 22, 2003 #17 Share Posted January 22, 2003 Halo_Jones Posted on Jan 22 2003, 01:39 PM Homer, I think if you now meet CW on a girlie night out, your most likely end up using the "lost bra" as a pair of eye patches. That'll be for the lovely black eyes CW will give you while doing her amazing Kung fu on you!!!! BEWARE!!! But Halo you know as well as I do that Homer would enjoy every minute of it or mayb he will be on the recieving end of another side effect <something that I learnt this weekend so should be on the list of warnings that should be on beer: > Warning:The consumption of alcohol may leave you with the desire to kiss or snog any one who walks past and takes ur fancy.... male or female. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homer Posted January 22, 2003 #18 Share Posted January 22, 2003 Warning:The consumption of alcohol may leave you with the desire to kiss or snog any one who walks past and takes ur fancy.... male or female. I hate this stupid pond we have between us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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