maca02 Posted June 6, 2011 #1 Share Posted June 6, 2011 (edited) heres a few to get started Want a doughnut? Hold my beer will you? Don't look in the trunk please. Are you just pulling me over cause I am drunk? Can I play with your gun? please feel free to add to the list Edited June 6, 2011 by maca02 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enoonmai Posted June 6, 2011 #2 Share Posted June 6, 2011 (edited) **EDIT** Edited June 6, 2011 by aquatus1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Shadows Posted June 6, 2011 #3 Share Posted June 6, 2011 heres a few to get started Want a doughnut? Hold my beer will you? Don't look in the trunk please. Are you just pulling me over cause I am drunk? Can I play with your gun? Cop says, Gee young lady, your eyes sure look red. Have you been drinking? I say, Gee officer, your eyes sure look glazed. Have you been eating donuts? Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, that makes one of us. Are you Barney or the other one? Aren't you the guy from the village people band? If I bend over, will I still get a ticket? Oops, I thought you were a prostitute... A hundred dollar fine?! Maybe George Washington will change your mind. please feel free to add to the list Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Shadows Posted June 6, 2011 #4 Share Posted June 6, 2011 Oops. Where's the dam*** doll when you need it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the1truebat Posted June 6, 2011 #5 Share Posted June 6, 2011 Does your mamma know you're out playing cops and robbers? Where's the rest of the Village People? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Tumbleweed Posted June 6, 2011 #6 Share Posted June 6, 2011 Did they teach you how to be a jerk in the academy or is it just natural? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the1truebat Posted June 6, 2011 #7 Share Posted June 6, 2011 Are those handcuffs for me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belial Posted June 6, 2011 #8 Share Posted June 6, 2011 (edited) **EDIT** Edited June 6, 2011 by aquatus1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the1truebat Posted June 6, 2011 #9 Share Posted June 6, 2011 That's right, cuff me, I've been bad! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farandaway Posted June 6, 2011 #10 Share Posted June 6, 2011 Here's one that I actually said: "Well if it isn't Hill Street Blues incarnate." (This was not well received.) Also don't ask "didn't you pull me over last night?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the1truebat Posted June 6, 2011 #11 Share Posted June 6, 2011 That's it Daddy, use the nightstick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aquatus1 Posted June 6, 2011 #12 Share Posted June 6, 2011 **There is funny and there is abusive. Please try to not cross the line.** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arglebargle Posted June 7, 2011 #13 Share Posted June 7, 2011 "I swear I didn't know she was 9!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aquatus1 Posted June 7, 2011 #14 Share Posted June 7, 2011 A police officer clocked a motorist at 20 miles above and pulled him over. Walking up to the window, she pulled out her ticket book and commented, "I've been waiting for you the whole day." Without missing a beat, the driver responded, "In my defense, officer, I got here as fast as I could." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maca02 Posted June 7, 2011 Author #15 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. Aren't you the guy from the Village People? Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enoonmai Posted June 7, 2011 #16 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Why the delete Aquatus? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a vampire wears my boxers Posted June 7, 2011 #17 Share Posted June 7, 2011 *sniff sniff sniff* it's BACON! no occifer, you're drunk! this is oregano...... but hey, dead chicks dont say no! *wink and double thumbs up* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dag Green Posted June 7, 2011 #18 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Wanna beer? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rashore Posted June 7, 2011 #19 Share Posted June 7, 2011 "What do YOU want?!?!" "Nah, I don't need to walk a line.. I can to this instead" And proceed to do stupid stunt X with epic fail ending. "What do you mean I can't do that on a public highway? I'm the public! It's my highway too!" "Your gonna have to hang on a minute officer. I need to finish this phone call real quick." "This can't be the fourth time you've pulled me over. I only remember two." "Before you open the trunk, let me say only that I want my lawyer." "Crap you could use a breathmint." Cop: Do you know how fast you were going? Speeder: Yes sir, I had my cruise set to 94. Cop: But the speed limit is 65. Speeder: No sir, the blue shield signs have all been 94. Cop: er, the blue shield signs are the highway you are on, not the speed limit. Speeder, No sir. The little white signs are. I know, I've been driving on 65 for hours. Got a little lost on 55 for a while, but the speed limit has been 94 through all of it 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Order66 Posted June 7, 2011 #20 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I always thought this would be funny: Border Patrol: "Sir, are you carrying any alcohol, tobacco or firearms?" You: "What do you need?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the1truebat Posted June 8, 2011 #21 Share Posted June 8, 2011 You'll never take me alive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Order66 Posted June 8, 2011 #22 Share Posted June 8, 2011 You better call for backup. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the1truebat Posted June 8, 2011 #23 Share Posted June 8, 2011 I WANT MY MOMMY!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enoonmai Posted June 9, 2011 #24 Share Posted June 9, 2011 Do you mind if I fiddle around with your riot gun while I'm sitting back here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the1truebat Posted June 9, 2011 #25 Share Posted June 9, 2011 What does this button do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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