emmy Posted January 22, 2003 #1 Share Posted January 22, 2003 A MAN WAS DRIVING DOWN A COUNTRY ROAD WHEN HE NOTICED A FARMER STANDING IN A LARGE FIELD...THE FARMER WASN'T DOING ANYTHING..HE WAS JUST STANDING THERE..CURIOUS, THE MAN STOPPED HIS CAR AND TOOK THE WALK OVER TO THE FARMER AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE WAS DOING..THE FARMER REPLIED "I'M TRYING TO WIN A NOBEL PRIZE" "HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO DO THAT" THE MAN ASKED..THE FARMER REPLIED "I HEARD THEY ONLY GIVE IT TO PEOPLE WHO ARE OUT STANDING IN THEIR FIELD" A MAN WAS SPEEDING DOWN THE HIGHWAY ..WHEN HE NOTICED A COP WITH HIS LIGHTS AND SIREN GOING BEHIND HIM...HE THOUGHT TO HIMSELF "I CAN OUTRUN THIS GUY" SO HE SPEEDS UP..70MPH..80MPH..90MPH..WITH THE COP STILL RIGHT BEHIND HIM HE GAVE UP AND PULLED OVER THE COP CAME UP TO HIS CAR AND SAID "LISTEN MISTER I'VE HAD A REALLY LOUSY DAY, IF YOU GIVE ME A GOOD EXCUSE FOR YOUR SPEEDING I'LL LET YOU GO" TO THIS THE MAN REPLIED "THREE WEEKS AGO MY WIFE RAN OFF WITH A POLICE MAN, AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE HIM, TRYING TO GIVE HER BACK".. A MAN WALKS INTO A BAR WITH A CROCODILE AND A CHICKEN, AND SAYS TO THE(PUZZLED) BARTENDER,"ILL HAVE A MARTINI. THE CROCODILE LOOKS UP AND SAYS"ILL HAVE A BEER" THE NOW IMPRESSED BARTENDER REPLIES "THATS AMAZING I NEVER SAW A CROCODILE THAT COULD TALK" THE MAN RESPONDS"HE DIDNT, THE CHICKEN'S A VENTRILOQUIST Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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