Feenix Fire Posted October 14, 2011 #51 Share Posted October 14, 2011 (edited) Engage in a battle to the death with me for the position! But ye be warned, I am a ninja in training. My room's a mess but I don't feel like wasting precious UM time cleaning. What can I do to get the job done quickly? Edited October 14, 2011 by Feenix Fire Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted October 14, 2011 #52 Share Posted October 14, 2011 (edited) Pay someone in advance to do it for you. Preferably complete strangers that look like drug addicts. How should I sharpen the pencil? Edited October 14, 2011 by Helen of Annoy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feenix Fire Posted October 14, 2011 #53 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Gnaw at the tip until you achieve desired sharpness. I'm all out of cooking utensils. What should i stir dinner with? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Tumbleweed Posted October 15, 2011 #54 Share Posted October 15, 2011 your hands I need a new computer, how can I get one free? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aNoNymOus XO Posted October 15, 2011 #55 Share Posted October 15, 2011 well if you rob best buy it will be free. I WILL HELP YOU! i keep losing my glasses. help? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Tumbleweed Posted October 15, 2011 #56 Share Posted October 15, 2011 Super glue them to your face I'm bored, what should I do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aNoNymOus XO Posted October 15, 2011 #57 Share Posted October 15, 2011 you should make me a special pair of glasses that wont fall off my face so i wont have to take your bad advice on the glue its 3am i should be still sleeping but i woke up. how do i fall back asleep? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted October 15, 2011 #58 Share Posted October 15, 2011 you should make me a special pair of glasses that wont fall off my face so i wont have to take your bad advice on the glue its 3am i should be still sleeping but i woke up. how do i fall back asleep? That’s easy. Hammer yourself back to sleep. If you don’t have a hammer simply hit your head against the wall. If you don't like pain, put a plastic bag over your head. Leave a note with instructions for family to remove it in the morning. I don’t like elevators. What’s the simplest and fastest way to climb the stairs? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Tumbleweed Posted October 15, 2011 #59 Share Posted October 15, 2011 ask someone to give you a piggy-back ride up the stairs My car needs a wash, what should I do to keep it clean? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted October 16, 2011 #60 Share Posted October 16, 2011 Pray. Not driving it and keeping it wrapped up in cellophane would help too. What to do if you don’t want to forget your umbrella again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aNoNymOus XO Posted October 16, 2011 #61 Share Posted October 16, 2011 throw it out. if you dont have one you cant forget it. im really really angry. how do i get rid of this feeling? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted October 16, 2011 #62 Share Posted October 16, 2011 Read a lot about politics. That should calm you down and make you realize this world is actually paradise. Charge my battery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
libstaK Posted October 16, 2011 #63 Share Posted October 16, 2011 Hold the battery in one hand and stick your finger in a live socket with the other. How do I get a red wine stain out of a white blouse? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted October 16, 2011 #64 Share Posted October 16, 2011 Well, you could cut the stained part out, but I suggest immersing the whole blouse in red wine. What can I use instead of toothpaste? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Tumbleweed Posted October 16, 2011 #65 Share Posted October 16, 2011 Bleach mixed with Ajax I'm feeling sad, how can I get happy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FLOMBIE Posted October 16, 2011 #66 Share Posted October 16, 2011 Go get some Ecstacy, and remember: Two pills are always better than one! I have lost my keys today. How do I get inside my house? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted October 16, 2011 #67 Share Posted October 16, 2011 Through the chimney, of course. What’s the best way to clean a fish tank? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
booNyzarC Posted October 16, 2011 #68 Share Posted October 16, 2011 Bring it with you to the tub when you're taking a bath. How do I make sure that I have a good relationship with my boss? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FLOMBIE Posted October 16, 2011 #69 Share Posted October 16, 2011 Offer him some "relief" when he is having a stressful day. What should I buy my girlfriend for her birthday? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
booNyzarC Posted October 16, 2011 #70 Share Posted October 16, 2011 I bet she'd love one of these... What should I have for dinner? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted October 17, 2011 #71 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Roadkill. My hands are cold, how could I keep them warm? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
booNyzarC Posted October 17, 2011 #72 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Two minutes on High in the microwave should do nicely. Where should I go for my next vacation? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted October 17, 2011 #73 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Croatia, of course. I’ll buy you one of those “I survived holiday in Croatia” tees if you do actually survive. What’s the best way to travel? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiffSplitkins Posted October 17, 2011 #74 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Hot air balloon. I suggest launching from a nice location in Tornado Alley though. What's the best way to give my cat a bath? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted October 17, 2011 #75 Share Posted October 17, 2011 You need one large fish tank with some live fish. Just leave it somewhere in the house and cat will soon be in it. Then add some shampoo and let nature take its course. (This is actually insane but almost good advice.) How should I protect my ears from wind? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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